Chapter 19
Chapter
Nineteen
Daniel woke up alone in a dark room he barely recognized. The dream lingered, Caelen's last words echoing in his mind: Goodbye, Daniel . His chest ached, and his eyes burned.
This couldn't be goodbye. It couldn't be.
He wouldn't let it be.
He wasn't giving up without a fight, and he sure as fuck wasn't going to kill the man his heart was screaming for even now.
Curling into a ball, he was tempted to scream for real, but then he'd wake everyone and they'd just come at him again with all their reasons and warnings and completely sensible explanations for why Daniel should not feel the way he did.
This also made him want to scream.
He couldn't help what he was feeling, and at this point, he didn't want to. He only wanted Caelen, wanted him here with him, free, unpossessed. He wanted to belong to him the way he had in his dream.
He wanted to be filled by him again, in all ways.
The thought burned itself into his mind and roused his cock.
Fuck, now he had that discomfort to deal with as well.
Kicking off his blanket, he got out of bed. His phone told him that it was only 3:47 AM, but regardless, he wasn't going to get any more sleep, so he made his way downstairs.
There was light coming from the living room. It seemed he wasn't the only one awake, then, and while Daniel didn't strictly feel like he wanted company, he poked his head into the living room, anyway.
Malik sat on the couch, a throw blanket wrapped around his shoulders. The TV volume was turned low, but Daniel could make out the serious tone of a news anchor. More footage of the growing crisis: videos of strange phenomena, pictures of missing persons, experts trying to explain the unexplainable.
Daniel hesitated in the doorway. He felt awkward around Malik after what had happened earlier. He hadn't known all that about Malik's family…
But before Daniel could chicken out and retreat, Malik spoke without turning around. "Can't sleep either?"
"No," Daniel admitted, taking a step into the room. "I... I think I should apologize for earlier. I'm sorry about everything that happened to you."
"Thank you, but I don't need you to be sorry for me." Malik's voice was gentle despite his words. He reached into a bag of Doritos that sat in his lap, and Daniel spotted more snacks on the coffee table: a box of Oreos, some Sour Patch Kids, and a bowl that seemed to have held microwave popcorn.
Noticing Daniel's gaze, Malik shrugged. "When I can't sleep, I have a party for one. What else is there to do?" He held out the Doritos. "Want some?"
Daniel hesitated, then grabbed one Dorito and Malik scooted over to make room for him.
"There's another blanket if you want it." Malik pointed at a blanket that had been thrown over the back of the couch. Daniel picked it up. It was a soft, worn thing that had probably been cream-colored once. With it, Daniel settled on the far end of the couch.
"They're running out of ways to explain it all away," Malik said, nodding at the TV. It showed footage of what looked like northern lights over a suburban strip mall. "This one's from Minnesota. They've been showing it all night."
Daniel watched as they cut to an interview with a meteorologist who was trying to explain the phenomenon with scientific terms that made less and less sense, superimposed over a video that showed ribbons of shimmering light dancing above a Walmart and a closed Pizza Hut.
"There was another dude earlier who claimed our drinking water had been poisoned by the Chinese and we were all hallucinating," Malik said, fishing another Dorito from the bag. "That was mildly amusing."
Daniel put an Oreo in his own mouth while he tried to decide how he felt about all of this. Not amused, not exactly. But then, he didn't think Malik was really amused either. Especially not when the meteorologist gave way to more missing persons' reports. Young people, mostly: teenagers and college students who'd gone exploring in the wrong places, but some older people had disappeared as well. Even some children. Strange sightings of strange creatures were reported but discredited.
Daniel's stomach twisted, and the snacks became hard to swallow. The barriers needed to be stabilized before more awful things could happen to more people.
Together with Caelen, he had managed to seal two holes in reality. At the abandoned theater and at Jamie's store. But evidently, that wasn't enough. "This has to stop," he said before he could really think about what he was saying or who he was saying it to. "If I could just find Caelen, then we could strengthen all the barriers."
Malik's shoulders tensed. The Doritos bag crinkled as his fingers tightened around it. "Daniel…"
"I know what you're going to say." Daniel stared at the TV screen where they were showing another missing person's photo: a girl who couldn't have been more than sixteen. "But we fixed two weak zones together already."
"And I'm sure Caelen acted entirely without ulterior motive."
Sarcasm, but Daniel couldn't deny that Malik had a point. Caelen always had an agenda.
"Look at what he did at the church," Malik said. "You really want him to become the savior of the world and recruit even more followers that way?"
Daniel wanted to argue that Caelen had only done what he did at the church to tire out the monster inside of him, so he and Daniel could have absolutely mind-blowing dream sex, but he didn't think that argument would have convinced Malik. And Daniel didn't want to share the dream he'd had. It felt too private for sharing.
"I don't know," Daniel said. "What do you think we should do?"
Malik set aside the bag of Doritos and brushed crumbs off his lap. "I think we need to talk to the Barrier Keepers again."
"So they can force Knox and the others to become human?" Daniel frowned. "And Caelen too?"
"They said they have a different plan now."
"What plan?"
Malik shrugged. "I don't know. But we need to hear them out tomorrow."
Daniel's hands clenched in the blanket. "I won't support any plan that involves killing Caelen."
The TV droned on in the background, but neither of them was watching anymore. Malik studied Daniel's face in the flickering light, his expression unreadable. Finally, he let out a long breath. "I know what it's like when everyone tries to tell you you're with the wrong guy."
Daniel shifted on the couch, caught off guard by the personal turn.
"My family hated my last boyfriend," Malik admitted. "They said James was no good, and that I was being stupid to stick with him. We had so many fights about that. I called them homophobic. By the time I realized I was wrong…"
"What happened?" Daniel asked before he could stop himself. This was obviously a difficult topic for Malik, but Daniel felt like he needed to know now—and like Malik needed to get it off his chest.
Malik didn't look at him as he spoke. "My family had this trip planned to Hawaii. Big celebration for my sister's MBA. We were all so proud of her.
The cookie in Malik's hand crumbled. "We were halfway to the airport when the truck hit us." His voice went flat. "I was the only one who made it."
Daniel's chest ached at the hollow look in Malik's eyes.
He couldn't even imagine the horror he must have gone through.
"James visited me in the hospital. Sat through the first few weeks." Malik brushed cookie crumbs from his lap. "But watching someone piece themselves back together isn't exactly romantic. He stopped coming around month three." His laugh scraped like broken glass. "You know what kills me? Part of me thought if he'd stayed, if we'd made it work, it would've proved something." He stared at the broken cookie pieces in his palm. "But everyone was right about him all along."
Daniel's throat felt tight. He wanted to reach out, to offer comfort, but he didn't know if it would be welcome. "That sucks, man," he said lamely.
"I'm not telling you this to make you feel sorry for me." Malik finally looked at him. "I'm done feeling sorry for myself . I even offered my nightmares to Zev so he could turn my trauma into something useful. Can you believe he turned me down?"
"Why did he turn you down?"
"I don't know, but it doesn't matter." Malik shook his head as if to get himself back on track. "The point is that I get it. I get what it's like when everyone's telling you that your feelings are wrong, that you're making a mistake. And I get wanting to prove them wrong so badly it hurts."
Daniel looked aside. "I am sorry, but I'm not going to change my mind."
"I didn't really expect you to. But, tell me, what happens when Caelen decides he's done playing nice? What happens when he decides to use you to hurt everyone else?"
"Caelen wouldn't use me like that."
"Suppose that's true, can you say the same thing for the dark god in him?"
Daniel swallowed past the lump in his throat, not wanting to admit that Malik was getting to him. "Caelen told me to kill him if I must. Would he have said that if he didn't really care about me?"
A long pause. Malik seemed to consider. "Do you really think he can be freed from Morthul?"
"I have to try."
Malik nodded as if to himself, then he sighed. "I think you'd have to roll something better than a natural twenty."
Daniel blinked. "A natural twenty?"
Malik shot him an incredulous look. "You've never played Dungeons and Dragons?"
"Never had the chance."
"Really? We'll have to fix that one day. After I help you figure out this issue with Caelen."
Something tight in Daniel's chest loosened. "You want to help me?"
"I still think you're making a mistake," Malik cautioned. "But I don't want you to be alone when you realize that, and I think a part of me hopes that I'm wrong and there's a happy ending for everyone." He gave Daniel a weak smile. "Just promise me you won't rush into anything by yourself."
Daniel swallowed hard, feeling oddly touched. "I promise."
"Good." Malik reached for the bag of Sour Patch Kids. "Now, you want to help me stress-eat these while we watch more conspiracy theorists try to explain away the end of the world as we know it?"
For the first time since waking up, Daniel felt something like hope flutter in his chest. He grabbed some of the candy and settled deeper into the couch. "What's the craziest theory they've come up with so far?"
"Oh man." Malik's face lit up with a hint of genuine amusement. "There was this guy earlier who was absolutely convinced it's all an elaborate marketing campaign for the next Marvel movie. He had like, charts and everything."
Daniel snorted. "Seriously?"
"Dead serious. He kept pointing at the lights and going 'See? See? Just like in Thor!'" Malik waved his candy for emphasis, doing a passable impression of an overly excited conspiracy theorist.
They both chuckled, and for a moment, the weight of everything felt a little lighter. On screen, someone started talking about aliens.
Daniel couldn't help but scoff. "You know, compared to what's actually happening, an alien invasion seems like it would be easier to deal with."
"Right? Like, aliens would be the least of our problems at this point." Malik paused, then added more seriously, "Speaking of problems, we should probably still meet with the Barrier Keepers tomorrow. Hear them out at least."
Daniel tensed, but forced himself to consider it. "As long as their solution isn't just to kill Caelen and fuck over everyone else.'"
"If it is, we'll figure something else out."
"There are some books from Veridia that turned up in my brother's bookstore," Daniel said. "I've been meaning to read them for clues, but I never had the time."
"Your brother's bookstore?"
"Yeah, he has a store in Oakridge. Bookmark'd. It's my favorite place in the world."
"I'm sure it's fantastic." Malik yawned and checked his phone. "God, it's almost five. We should probably try to get some sleep."
But neither of them moved. The documentary droned on, its theories growing increasingly outlandish, and Daniel found himself grateful for the company. For someone who understood, even if they didn't agree completely.
"Hey, Malik?"
"Mm?"
"I really am sorry about your family. And James. You deserved better than that."
Malik was quiet for so long that Daniel worried he'd said the wrong thing. Finally, Malik spoke, his voice rough. "Thanks. Just don't make a big deal out of it with the others, okay?"
"I won't."
Malik gave him a nod, and they sat in companionable silence after that, sharing snacks and watching bad TV until the sun began to rise. Whatever came next, at least Daniel knew he wasn't facing it alone.