Chapter 29
Chapter
Twenty-Nine
When Caelen woke up, he didn't know where he was—or who he was. His mind felt so strangely empty .
He hadn't been alone with his thoughts in so long he didn't know what to do with the silence that filled his head. There were no whispers, no crawling darkness. He blinked his eyes open and stared at an unfamiliar ceiling, waiting for someone to urge him to get up and get to work.
Nothing.
He took a deep breath, feeling clean air fill his lungs. Clean air and pain. His body ached as if he'd been ripped apart and stitched back together again.
But it wasn't anything like the pain Morthul had subjected him to.
It was nothing compared to the pain of watching himself hurt his mate.
He registered the warm weight by his side then.
Daniel, the most beautiful creature in the universe, curled against him, one hand resting over Caelen's heart. Dark lashes brushed against cheeks pale from exhaustion, his chest rising and falling in a steady rhythm. Something caught in Caelen's throat at the sight of those fingers splayed across his skin. Even in sleep, Daniel tried to anchor him to this world.
Caelen didn't deserve him. He knew that as well as he'd ever known anything.
Daniel had given so much of himself to Caelen, and Caelen had given him nothing but misery.
He reached to brush his mate's colorful hair back from his face.
Daniel's eyes fluttered open at the touch. "You're awake!" His fingers pressed against Caelen's chest. "You're really awake!"
Caelen tried to speak, but his throat felt like sandpaper. He swallowed hard.
Daniel bolted upright. "Water. You need… hold on." He grabbed for a glass on the bedside table, liquid sloshing over the rim in his haste. He sat on the edge of the bed and helped Caelen take small sips.
The water was cool against Caelen's raw throat. When he finished, Daniel set the glass aside and pressed closer, one hand coming up to cradle Caelen's face. His palm was warm, and there was so much concern, so much affection in his gaze it made Caelen's chest ache in a way that was entirely different from the pain Morthul's extraction had caused him.
Gods, he still couldn't believe Morthul had left him, that he wasn't coming back.
Could that be true?
"Cae?" Daniel prompted, directing Caelen's attention back to him.
Caelen's lips twitched at the nickname. That anyone would dare… But of course Daniel would. And wondrously, there wasn't anything in Caelen that made him want to punish his mate for his insolence.
He only wanted to hold him close and kiss him senseless.
What an idea.
"How are you feeling?" Daniel asked. "What are you thinking?"
Caelen shook his head. "How long?" he managed.
"Two days." Daniel's thumb traced Caelen's cheekbone. "You've been out for two days."
Two days. No wonder his throat was parched. Had Daniel been watching over him this whole time?
"What happened?" His voice came out rough. "After..."
"You don't remember?" Daniel's fingers stilled against his cheek.
Caelen closed his eyes. Fragments came back to him—Daniel's blood corrupting the ritual, pain tearing through him as Morthul fought to maintain control, darkness everywhere. Then nothing.
"Not all of it."
"I used our bond." Daniel's voice wavered. "To reach you. To help tear him out. You were barely breathing when we finally..."
Caelen opened his eyes to find Daniel blinking back tears. Without thinking, he pulled Daniel down against his chest, wrapping his arms around him. Such a simple gesture, but it felt monumental. To be able to move his own body however he wanted, to be able to comfort rather than hurt.
"I thought I was going to lose you." Daniel's words came out muffled against Caelen's skin.
"I'm here." Caelen buried his face in Daniel's hair, breathing in his scent. His mate. His salvation. "You saved me."
Daniel's eyes shone. "I'm just so fucking glad I could."
Caelen wasn't sure who moved first. One moment they were looking at each other, the next their lips met. The kiss started gentle, hesitant, but something broke loose in Caelen's chest. He needed more, needed to feel Daniel alive against him, needed to know this was real.
Daniel made a small sound in the back of his throat and pressed closer. His fingers tangled in Caelen's hair as the kiss deepened. None of Morthul's darkness tainted this. Just them, just their need for each other, just the overwhelming relief of finally, finally being together without shadows between them.
The world narrowed to the press of Daniel's mouth, the slide of his tongue. Minutes stretched as they lost themselves in each other. When Daniel shifted to straddle him, Caelen's exhausted body protested the weight, but he couldn't bring himself to care. Not when Daniel kissed him like a man starving.
His arms shook as he tried to hold Daniel closer. His lungs burned for air, but breaking away seemed impossible when Daniel's every touch anchored him to this moment, to this reality where he was free and whole and with his mate.
Daniel must have sensed something, though, because he pulled back enough to study Caelen's face, their breath mingling. "Is this okay? Sorry, I just..." His fingers traced along Caelen's jaw. "I couldn't help myself. I needed this. Need you."
"Don't apologize." Caelen's voice came out rough. His body was heavy and aching, and yet, all he wanted was to chase Daniel's lips. "I need you too. To touch you. To feel you." He swallowed. "I can't believe you still want me. After everything."
"Always." Daniel's thumb brushed across Caelen's lips. Tears gathered in his eyes. "More than anything."
Caelen turned his face into Daniel's palm, meeting his gaze. "I hurt you."
"Not you."
"Yes, me," Caelen insisted firmly. He couldn't shove the blame for everything on Morthul, and he wouldn't. He'd had a dark god on his shoulder, yes, but for much of what he'd done, for so many actions that had caused Daniel pain, he was still responsible.
"I don't want to talk about that."
"We have to."
"Not we don't . Fuck, Cae, I…" Daniel leaned up. "Can I just have this moment with you? Can you give me that? The world's going to shit and my boyfriend was possessed by a dark god and spent two days in a coma and everyone keeps telling me I'm deluding myself about you, and…" He took a breath. "I can't take another 'serious conversation' right now." He made air quotes and Caelen wondered who exactly had pulled him aside to have that serious conversation.
Probably more than one person.
Daniel licked his lips. "They told me not to expect you to be an innocent angel when you wake up." He laughed. "Like I ever expected that. Nobody understands that I understand. I know what I've committed myself to. Now can I please have it?"
Caelen's heart clenched at those last words. As if Daniel didn't already own every part of him.
"You can have me however you want me, and I promise, when I'm recovered, I'll give you exactly what you need, pet."
Daniel smiled down at him. "You're still going to call me that?"
"I can stop."
"Nah. I kind of like it."
Caelen returned Daniel's smile "I know."
He reached up, ignoring the protest of tired muscles, and pulled Daniel down into another kiss. Slower this time, deeper. Daniel melted against him with a soft sound of relief, and for long moments there was nothing but the gentle slide of lips, the warmth of Daniel's body pressed close.
And in spite of everything he'd been through, Caelen felt himself growing hard at having his mate in his arms, finally.
He wasn't the only one, either. An answering heat flowed to him from Daniel as they continued to kiss. "How about…" Daniel murmured, "I take care of you until you're better?"
Caelen hummed his agreement. That sounded perfect. "And how will you take care of me?"
Daniel smiled against his mouth before shifting lower, his kisses trailing across Caelen's jawline. "By showing you what a good pet I can be." He nuzzled Caelen's neck, and Caelen tilted his head back to give him easier access. Daniel's tongue flicked over the hollow of Caelen's throat, then lower.
Caelen's cock stirred with interest, almost making him forget his exhaustion. Daniel's lips trailed over Caelen's collarbone and then down his chest, leaving a line of heat everywhere they touched. His clever hands stroked Caelen's sides, tracing muscles and scars alike with gentle fingertips.
Caelen sighed as Daniel's mouth moved lower and lower, licking and sucking across each nipple and down to circle Caelen's navel. By the time Daniel reached Caelen's half-hard cock, it stood at full attention.
"Mmmm," Daniel purred as he pulled away the thin layer of fabric covering him. "There's something for me to take care of." He bent his head.
A groan escaped Caelen when Daniel swirled his tongue experimentally across the head before taking him fully in. His lips tightened around the shaft, moving slowly up and down, his tongue stroking in rhythm. Pleasure raced through Caelen like fire, burning away the pain that lingered in his body.
"Fuck," he gasped as Daniel's movements grew bolder, taking him in deeper with each pass. He slid one hand into Daniel hair, guiding the pace. A shiver ran over him as he looked down to see his length disappearing inside his mate's mouth, his fingers tangled in that colorful hair.
After a moment, Daniel pulled back enough to lick a long line up to the tip. His tongue flicked over Caelen's slit, teasing the sensitive skin and making Caelen gasp again.
Daniel looked at him as if trying to gauge if he was doing the right thing. "Good?"
"Yes, pet," Caelen praised, tightening his grip on Daniel's hair until Daniel's eyes fluttered shut for a moment. "Very good."
Daniel's pupils dilated with lust, and Caelen's cock twitched at the sight of him, so eager to please.
Heat rushed through him as Daniel's need to be Caelen's whispered to him through their connection.
How could he deny him that simple desire?
Caelen wasn't up to fucking Daniel's ass, but he could still make sure his mate felt properly owned by the end of this.
"You want to take care of me, pet?" Caelen tugged lightly on Daniel's hair, urging him back down. "Keep going, then. Gag yourself on my cock."
Daniel shuddered visibly at the command before opening his mouth and sliding his lips over Caelen once more. This time he took Caelen in deep, swallowing until Caelen hit the back of his throat. A choked sound escaped Daniel, but he pushed further down until his nose rested against Caelen's groin. Then he swallowed, the muscles of his throat contracting tightly around Caelen's shaft, making stars dance behind Caelen's eyes.
Caelen groaned, his hand gripping hard in Daniel's hair, holding his mouth firmly down. He didn't move, just savored the feel of Daniel's hot, wet mouth around his cock, the pressure building in his groin as Daniel gagged again around him. The surge of razor-sharp lust that swept through their bond.
"That's good, pet," Caelen murmured, letting up enough for Daniel to pull back, gasping raggedly. He stroked Daniel's cheek with his thumb. "Okay?"
Daniel nodded, eyes glazed with need. His own erection strained against the front of his pants.
"Then get back to it."
Daniel moaned, a sound of pure want. He lowered his lips to Caelen's cock again, taking him all the way into his throat once more, and Caelen let out a satisfied sigh.
This. Yes. This was perfection.
His hips rocked upward, pushing deeper inside Daniel. Daniel's throat constricted around Caelen's cock as his body struggled against the intrusion. His hands fisted in the bedsheets beside Caelen as his eyes teared up, but he never tried to pull away.
Their bond vibrated with Daniel's pleasure, with his desire to be utterly and completely Caelen's.
Did he know Caelen was his?
That he was doing this for Daniel?
Caelen's balls tightened as the pressure built toward orgasm. He forced his hips back down on the bed, giving Daniel and him both a chance to breathe. As much as he wanted to spill down Daniel's throat, he knew he'd pass out once he did.
He'd leave Daniel unsatisfied.
"Stop, pet," he said softly, tugging at Daniel's hair until he reluctantly lifted his head. Saliva dripped from his swollen lips. "Come here. Kiss me."
Daniel hesitated only a moment before climbing back up, his mouth claiming Caelen's in a bruising kiss. Caelen wrapped his arms around his neck.
"You're so good for me," Caelen breathed against his lips as his fingers traced along Daniel's spine. Daniel shuddered under the touch. "Open your pants for me. Take out your cock."
Another shudder passed through Daniel's body, followed by a sigh of relief as Daniel obeyed. His cock sprang free into Caelen's waiting hand, hard, leaking.
"Good. Now you'll kiss me again, and every time I pinch your nipple, you'll rock into my fist. For as long as I pinch, you keep going, but if I release you, you stop. Understood?"
"Yes."
The word was barely audible, but Caelen felt his agreement through their bond. He smiled, then claimed Daniel's lips again. When they parted to allow their tongues to meet, he pinched hard. Daniel moaned into the kiss, rocking forward as Caelen continued to suck and bite at his lips.
His own cock jerked, feeling the desperation Daniel felt as Caelen opened his fist except for a small ring formed by his finger and thumb, providing barely enough friction to tease. Still, Daniel thrust into the space provided, chasing his pleasure while Caelen abused his nipples.
"Please," Daniel gasped when Caelen broke from his mouth to nip at the tender skin of his earlobe.
"What do you need, pet?"
"You." Daniel panted as he fucked Caelen's fingers. "Just you."
Caelen released the nipple he'd been playing with, and immediately, the desperate rocking stopped, although it was clear how difficult it was for Daniel not to move. "You already have me," Caelen whispered. "Always." He pinched again, and a moan fell from Daniel's lips as Caelen allowed him a single thrust.
"Beautiful," Caelen murmured, and to reward him, he grasped his mate's cock more firmly and aligned it with his own. "Now move," he spoke into Daniel's ear. "Rock into me. Make us both come."
He felt the shiver that went through Daniel's body, but Daniel remained still. "No."
Caelen frowned at that. "Why no?"
Daniel pulled back just enough to look Caelen in the eyes. "Because I don't want to hurt you." His fingers stroked gently over Caelen's skin.
"Then I guess you'll have to be very gentle." Caelen squeezed Daniel's cock lightly and felt him tremble. He leaned up to press their mouths together. "Take care of me, pet."
With a whimper, Daniel began to rock, slowly sliding against Caelen. The friction made them both groan. Daniel moved carefully, trying so hard to be gentle despite his obvious need. Each movement sent sparks racing through Caelen's veins. He wrapped his arms around Daniel's shoulders, holding his mate as tightly as he dared while Daniel rutted against Caelen's cock.
The pressure mounted, winding tight in Caelen's core. He could feel his balls growing tighter, drawing up. Daniel's breathing came in ragged pants, sweat dripping across his skin.
They kissed again, sloppy and desperate. Daniel cried out against his lips and Caelen felt him spilling, coating both their cocks in hot fluid, felt his mate's release echoing back through the bond and sending him spiraling over the edge himself, drowning every nerve in white-hot pleasure as he spilled between them.
Daniel collapsed onto his chest, shaking with exertion and emotion. He pressed his forehead against Caelen's, their breath mingling.
Caelen stroked Daniel's hair as they both struggled to recover. His eyelids grew heavy again, exhaustion threatening to overwhelm him. But he had something to say before he could let sleep take him again.
"I love you." The words felt strange on his lips. He hadn't said them to anyone since he was a child.
But they were true.
Daniel blinked up at him, a smile forming on his lips. "I love you, too."
Caelen pulled him down for another slow kiss. He wanted to stay awake, to enjoy this moment, but sleep dragged at him, pulling him downward. His eyelids fluttered closed.
"Sleep now," Daniel murmured against his cheek. "I'll stay with you until you wake again."
And wasn't that a beautiful thought? That his mate would still be with him the next day?
Caelen would never take that for granted.