Chapter 12 #2
“Can I go to the party, too, Daddy?” Maddie has my hand, jerking it up and down. “Can I?”
Heather walks up from where she was seated beside our hostess. “Of course you can! You’ll hang out with Miss Gina and me.”
“What about Ladybird?” Maddie puts a hand on her hip.
“Ladybird and Spanky are snug in their crate together at the house,” Heather tells her. “We’ll see them tomorrow, now come with me.”
My daughter skips along with the crowd headed for the restaurant, where the reception will be held, but I catch my sister’s arm.
“I can take care of her tonight if you want to…” I shrug, looking at the number of single guys in the group. “Meet someone.”
“Owen Stone, do you really think I’d hook up with someone so far from anywhere I plan to live? That sounds like a recipe for disaster.”
“I don’t know. I thought maybe you wanted to have some fun.”
“I’ll have plenty of fun. I’d rather you get out there and have some fun yourself. Stop thinking about all your responsibilities all the time and let your hair down for once.”
“You might say I let my hair down by taking the offer to move to LA. Uprooting you, Maddie…”
“Stop.” She puts a hand on my chest. “Playing in the NHL, getting a huge pay increase, these are not irresponsible decisions. I’d say they’re very strategic ones. Which is why tonight, you’re going to stop thinking strategy and start thinking smut.”
My eyebrows shoot up. “What does that mean?”
“It means I expect you to find a certain dog lady and get it on, doggy style.”
“I’m out of here.” I hold up both hands as she claps gleefully. “If only to get away from my baby sister discussing my sex life.”
“You’re not a prude, and I’m not a baby. Now go find her.”
Shaking my head, I act like I disapprove. The truth is, I appreciate my sister giving me the chance to find Gina, not to hook up with her but to find out why she’s been treating me like a leper.
Champagne and purple drinks are flowing. Music blasts through the dining hall of Cooters & Shooters. All the tables have been moved to the perimeter, and couples are dirty dancing while Gina’s dad, Haddy’s dad, and their “uncle” Craig shake their butts on top of the bar.
It’s like a freakin Mardi Gras in here, but I can’t find Gina. I’ve gone from one end of the large dining room to the other, and unless she sees me coming and runs away, she’s not here.
“There you are!” Maverick grabs my shoulder, pulling me close. “Why aren’t you dancing? It’s a wild night.”
He’s a bit tipsy, so I take a chance asking, “Have you seen Gina?”
I hope he’s had enough alcohol that it won’t make a difference I’m specifically asking about his cousin, our roommate.
I’m wrong.
“I knew it!” He laughs, placing both hands on my shoulders and giving me a good shake. “I’m going to be living alone in that bungalow before it’s all over.” His head tilts, and his expression changes. “I’m not sure I like that. I don’t want to live alone.”
“No, no, you’ve got the wrong idea. I just… ahh…” What the fuck could it be if not that? “The dogs!” I practically shout the words. Clearing my throat, I do my best to play it cool. “I need to ask her something about the dogs.”
“Well, she’s your girl.” Mav leans close, patting me hard on the chest. “Gigi knows everything about dogs. She’s probably better with dogs than she is with people.”
Placing my own hands gently on his shoulders, I hold his eyes. “I’m aware. Where is she?”
His brow lowers, his blue eyes slide to the side, then he shakes his head, laughing. “How the fuck would I know?”
I manage to hide my frustration. “I’m going to find her.”
I’m about to push through the crowd again, when he pulls me back. “You know, the path along the bay leads to her parents’ house. I wouldn’t put it past her to cut out early. She’s like that sometimes.”
My brow relaxes, and I nod at him. “Thanks, man.”
I head straight for the back door, cutting through the playground, and hopping over the low fence that separates it from the sandy shore below.
Jogging up to the sidewalk, I squint into the darkness, holding a hand up against the tin street lamps. Maybe she came this way. Maybe it’s wishful thinking. I don’t even know what I’m doing.
When we had our night, we agreed it was just once. What is this obsession I have over knowing her moods? She could be unhappy about a million different things. It doesn’t have to be me.
Fuck it. I have to know why she’s unhappy. I don’t care what it means. I’ve reached the end of my patience, and I won’t rest until I talk to her.
My chest relaxes, and I exhale deeply when I see her slender form ahead, walking slowly in the direction of her parents’ house. I start to jog, and the closer I get, I pick up on little things.
First, she’s walking really slowly, shaking her head and kicking her feet. She lifts her hand repeatedly, wiping her cheeks… Is she crying? Why the hell would she be crying? And how can I fix whatever it is to make her stop?
Slowing down, I take a less aggressive pace, but still with enough speed to catch up with her. I glide up beside her, and when she notices me, she does a little jump.
“Owen!” It’s a sharp gasp. “What are you doing here?”
“You left early.” My hands are in the pockets of my dress pants, and I shrug. “I guess I was wondering why you wouldn’t stay for cake.”
She only glances at me briefly, then her eyes are on her feet again. “It’s all so beautiful. I’m so happy for them.”
Her voice cracks on the words, and she quickly wipes her cheek again. It’s like a knife stab in my chest, and I reach out to catch her arm and stop her.
“Why are you crying?”
She doesn’t meet my eyes, which I hate. I hate it a lot.
“It’s a wedding…” She tries to force a smile. “You’re supposed to cry at weddings.”
“I don’t think those are tears of joy.” Dipping my head, I try to meet her eyes. “What’s really going on, Gina?”
Her arm bends, and she slides out of my grip. “Purple drink is still purple drink, even if it’s in fancy glasses.”
“I don’t know what that means.” I want to hold her hand.
“It means I’m probably a little drunk. I’m probably just in my feelings, and it has nothing to do with anything else.”
“I don’t believe you.” Lifting my hand, I cup her cheek, forcing her to look at me. “You’re not drunk, Gina.”
The moonlight bathes her face in silver, and she blinks wide green eyes up at me. It’s like a hand reaching down my throat and grabbing my lungs in a fist.
So many things I want to say, but all of them feel wrong. I want her so badly. Who the fuck believed I could only have her once? What kind of bullshit was that?
Yet, it was the agreement we made. What can I promise her? What can I give her besides my broken, guarded self? She deserves better than that.
“At least let me walk you home.”
“You don’t have to.” She shakes her head, waving her hand. “Newhope is literally the safest place in the world. Go back and celebrate with Gavin and Maverick. Y’all are teammates now. Make some memories.”
A knot aches in my throat, but I don’t care. Despite everything inside me telling me this won’t work, I step forward, tracing my finger along the line of her cheek, moving her hair behind her shoulder.
“I can’t do that.” My voice is quiet. “I can’t have fun when I know you’re crying.”
She shakes her head, wrapping her fingers around my wrist and moving my hand away from her face, her hair. “I can’t hear that from you now. Not after…”
Her voice breaks off, and my chest aches. “Because of what happened?”
“Because you never really know people. You said it yourself.”
Fuck, that hurts. “I didn’t mean…”
“Please, Owen.” Her gorgeous green eyes meet mine, tears lingering in them. “I can’t do this again.”
“Again?”
“I’ve been down this road, and I’m the one always left behind with a broken heart.” She puts up a hand, shaking her head. “I’ll be okay. Just give me a minute. It was a one-time thing. We agreed, John and Kendall.”
“Right. John and Kendall.” My voice is quiet, and I’m pretty sure I can’t do this either.
I knew with every fiber of my being to stay away from her, to let her live her life in peace, but I crossed a line I can’t uncross.
The right thing to do would be to respect her wishes, to go back to Maddie and Heather, to do what I always do, be the best dad, provider, protector.
But what the fuck is the point of anything if I can’t protect this woman with the tears in her beautiful eyes who made me feel more alive than I have in seven years?
Stepping closer, I gently touch her hand. “I’m sorry, Gina.”
She nods, lifting the hand I touched to swipe a fresh tear off her cheek. “I know.”
With that she turns, and holding the skirt of her dress, she runs to the house, leaving me aching and raw. This thing between us, this connection, has pulled my heart from my chest, but I don’t have a leg to stand on.
I created this mess. But I think finding a way to fix it is worth the effort.
Maybe it’s the first sprout of hope, like a tiny seedling pushing through the cold, ravaged ground of what used to be my heart. Maybe it’s this weekend, and the love of this massive gathering of family and friends giving me courage.
Maybe you never really know anybody, but looking around, I know her.