Chapter 9
One moment I want to give this man a chance—at least enough to understand him—and the next I want to scream in his face, doing whatever I can to get him to walk away now.
Mostly because he’s right.
I saw his intent to kiss me coming from a mile away. Worse, I anticipated it, craved the touch of this man, wondered if… My head shakes. Damn it, what is wrong with me?
My wolf hums inside me, reminding me that there isn’t anything wrong. It’s this bond. One I don’t want to want.
If he’d just be a raging asshole, everything would be so much easier.
With Drake following right behind me, I make my way to Spells. I need to see Natalia and make my final deal with the witch.
“Where are we going?” Drake asks, matching my pace, but staying just a step behind me.
“I’m going to see a witch. Like I said before.”
He chuckles. “Are you always so pent up and rude, or are you trying extra hard just for me?”
His question makes me misstep, but I catch my footing before I can stumble.
Stupid, insightful male.
“This is who I am,” I say, and the lie threatens to strangle me. I certainly don’t want to be this person. “If you don’t like it, you’re welcome to turn around and walk away.”
Drake leans forward and whispers in my ear, “If I did that, you’d hate every step of distance I took. Even if you’re too stubborn to admit it out loud.”
For the rest of the walk to Spells, I remain silent. Have I gone past the point of ridiculousness? Quite possibly, but this was all thrusted on me moments before my little brother had to kill our father. Emotions are high, and I’m floundering within their beating waves, doing my best to survive. It doesn’t help that I’ve been taught to keep people at a distance for my own protection all my life. I can’t help that being defensive is my go-to when I feel backed into a corner, alone, overwhelmed, all of the above.
When I open the door to Natalia’s shop, the songbird lets out its normal tune, but for once, doesn’t cause me to wince.
“How enchanting,” Drake muses as he glances up at the bird. Of course, he likes the damn sound.
Natalia waltzes into the front of the shop, her eyes bright with magic as if she’d just been in the middle of a spell. “Spencer, twice in one day.” Her stare flicks briefly to Drake. “And you’ve brought a friend. I’m not sure whether to feel lucky or to be concerned.”
“We need to make our last trade, Natalia,” I say, ignoring her musings. “I’m leaving Crossroads.”
The fall of her shoulders matches the down turning of her lips. “I hoped we’d have more time.”
Yeah, so did I.
“Well, things changed,” I reach for a notepad and pen on the counter. “I need all of these things, and you can take whatever you need from me as payment. Just remember, I know how much all this is worth.”
Natalia has never been greedy in our deals, but I can’t help throwing out the warning. Except when I’m done making my list, it isn’t me she’s staring at any longer, it’s Drake.
As I slide the paper toward her, she finally gives me her attention, but not completely as she skims my demands. “I don’t have all this on hand, and it’s a lot of magic that I’ll need to use to conjure today.”
She’s bargaining. I guess I thought too soon.
“What do you want, Natalia?” I growl, letting my sour mood bleed through my words. “Today isn’t the day to play games with me.”
The witch points at Drake, who has remained tense behind me. “He’s from Tartarus. I want his blood, too. Could be interesting.”
“He’s not?—”
“I’ll do it.”
My head whips back around to Drake. “This isn’t your problem.”
He leans in closer, making me freeze in place. “You are my mate. I will help you.”
His gruff tone leaves no room for argument, and to be honest, I don’t want to argue. My family needs this stuff to help us disappear, and if Drake wants to help, I’m done fighting him.
I have to be for my own sanity. Though, in what ways remains to be seen.
“Fine,” I say, then turn back to Natalia. “When can you have everything ready?”
“It’s already late, but I can get this ready by morning,” she replies, still eyeing Drake. “I want his part of the trade as upfront payment. You know, in case you skip town before the exchange has been made.”
My teeth grind together. I’m tempted to tell her no, but I’m not stupid. I realize that in this situation, I need Natalia more than she does me. There’s no convincing her otherwise after having admitted that this is our last deal.
And of course, Drake doesn’t seem to mind.
He steps beside me and holds his arm over the counter before glancing at me. “Can I trust you to tell me when she has enough?”
For a brief moment, as we stare into each other’s gazes, I want to reach up and press my hand to his heart, to promise him that he’s not in any danger. Except that’s not what I do.
I merely nod and force my gaze away from him, consumed with the emotions swirling inside me. The less I mentally resist Drake’s presence, the more relentless they become.
This man. I knew the moment I heard his roar coming through the portal that he was going to be trouble. I just didn’t realize how profoundly I would be affected by him.
For years, I’ve kept myself safe, had a plan, and stayed on a certain path as much as I’ve been able to while living as a Houseless supernatural.
Now, it’s been less than twelve hours since Drake Cage stumbled into my life, and I have no clue where I’m headed to next.
My mother’s earlier words continue to whisper through my mind. I believe the fates were waiting for him.
They hold a truth I can’t deny, even though I’ve tried to more than once since she spoke them.
While Drake gives his blood, he’s paying more attention to Natalia than me for once, and I allow myself to take in his tall form. His cheeks and chin are covered with a dark stubble. Faint scars in the shape of thin lines appear on his skin every so often while his pulse beats three times as fast as the rise and fall of his muscled chest.
My heart swells and tenses all at once. Tiny fragments beg me to care for this man, but the shattered pieces inside me no longer fit together. Not after being beaten by my own blood, for having to hide who I truly am, for being banished from my only home and forced to do things I never dreamed of in order to survive.
I shiver as past memories threaten to come back, and the action draws Drake’s attention. He catches me staring, but I don’t turn away. Instead, I allow myself a moment to pretend nothing is wrong. That he’s just a normal shifter and accepting him could be as easy as breathing.
He blinks first, a furrow forming between his dark brows, and that’s all it takes for me to return to reality.
Well, my reality. The one I’ve created to keep myself safe since being on my own.
“Are you okay?” he asks softly, but instead of answering him, I turn toward Natalia.
“That’s enough.”
The witch reaches for a jar and swipes some oil over his wrist as she speaks. “I know, Spencer. I won’t break your trust, even if it’s our last trade.”
She never has, and she deserves better than my shitty attitude. “Thank you. For everything. Text me when you’re done and I’ll be here, no matter the time.”
She smiles wide and picks Drake’s blood up from the counter. “See you soon.”
Drake is right behind me as we head for the front door, following so closely I can feel the natural heat that seems to radiate from him.
I’m tempted to ask for space, but I keep my mouth closed as we get outside. Though, I come to an abrupt halt when I realize the songbird didn’t sound the second that I opened the door.
Interesting, but doesn’t really matter. Soon, that pesky creature will be a distant memory when we leave this place behind.
Drake is stopped right behind me. “Do you sense something?”
“No,” I reply, keeping my tone as light as I’m capable of. “I just want to get back to the house.”
He stops at my side, and I can see his smirk. “Then, let’s go.”
His persistence is going to be the death of me, but I have to admit, things could be worse as far as Drake is concerned.
Without realizing what I’m doing, I grab Drake’s wrist to lead him down the alleyway behind Spells. I could have just let him follow, but instinct has me reaching for him, and it’s several seconds later that I pull my hand back, settling it in front of me.
He continues to follow without commenting or questioning the different path we’re taking, but I can sense his tension and I snort. Maybe he’s wondering if I’m taking him to a dark corner to dispose of his body.
I’m a lot of things, but a murderer isn’t one of them. I choose to think of myself as a survivor instead. When I’ve had to kill in the past, it hasn’t been because I’ve wanted to, that’s for damn sure.
We pass a stretch of old buildings and approach a few rundown structures. This way, there are no streetlights, and I normally keep to the more populated areas, but this is the quicker way back to Kasha’s.
The moon is at least exposed and not covered by clouds. It’s full and shining brightly, lighting the path we’re taking. Before we’re halfway to the house, Drake grabs my wrist and halts my forward momentum.
“What are we doing, Spencer?” he asks, and I’m oddly disappointed that he didn’t use “Dove.” Though, I don’t let myself ponder why that might be.
When we’re facing each other, I almost ask him if he means what we’re doing right this moment or if he’s referencing the elephant in the room also known as our mate bond. One look into his pleading eyes and I have my answer.
The mixed emotions inside me don’t seem so conflicted here alone with him under the night sky, so much so that I have to look away from him. The intensity of our connection fills me in a way nothing else ever has, and I don’t know what I’m supposed to do or say.
Except the imposing wolf shifter doesn’t allow me even the slightest reprieve from his presence. He lifts my chin with his fingers, forcing me to look at him as he says, “You can tell me anything.”
Those five words pierce through my skin and right into my heart, making my stomach churn with the weight of their truth.
Gods, what is wrong with me? I’d be a fool to deny this man, to pretend that everything he’s shown me and made me feel are anything other than sincere and filled with pure intentions.
It hasn’t even been a full day, but I know if I don’t say my next words, I’m only harming myself. I’m so damn tired of fighting.
“I take back my rejection.” The moment I finish the sentence, a rush of energy pours over me, pushing down on my shoulders and nearly taking me to my knees. Hell, I might have fallen right at his feet if he didn’t grab me, pulling me against his chest.
Drake breathes me in as I’m consumed, little by little, by his tight embrace. “Oh, Little Dove. You have no idea what you’ve just done.”
His words are spoken with a rumble in his chest that a lesser woman might be afraid of, but not me. I lean into his touch and hope like hell that his strength is going to be the very thing that saves the lives of those I love most in the world.
“There’s something that I need to do first,” he says, surprising me with his dark tone. After all his persistence, I expected him to be more thrilled about my newest revelation.
“What could be more important than your mate?” My walls are instantly back up, believing I’ve somehow been duped as he starts to shake his head, attempting to hold me again.
“No,” I snap, breaking free from his touch. “You don’t get to practically beg for my acceptance and then tell me I have to wait once I give in.”
I’m close to walking away before I do something I might regret, but the anguish pulsing off Drake keeps me in place and forces me to pay closer attention. I took my rejection back for a reason. Overreacting now isn’t going to help anyone.
“You don’t know what I’ve been through for the last thousand years,” he says with a hurt in his voice that lashes out at my own chest.
Holy shit, he’s old, but I don’t focus on that tidbit of information for long. Especially not when he doesn’t even appear to be in his thirties, but more than that, the need to apologize to him is nearly overwhelming.
“You’re right,” I say sincerely. “I’m sorry for not giving you a chance to explain yourself or for continuing our earlier conversation. Neither of us asked for this, but that doesn’t mean we can’t work together to figure things out. What is this something that you need to do?”
As I finish speaking, I don’t hear anything Drake might be saying next. I’m held hostage by the renewed flood of emotions within me. Feelings I can assume a normal shifter might have been consumed with the moment they first laid eyes on their mate, but life dealt me a different hand. Mine had required me to be anything other than soft, to not care for anyone other than my mother and brother.
With every new breath I take, the bond between Drake and me begins to turn into something tangible, something I don’t know that I can handle, but that I no longer want to let go of. Especially when I finally hear a fraction of what he’s saying.
“…she kept me trapped and tortured me for over nine hundred years.”
Knowing that someone hurt my mate, tormented him even—now that makes me a little murderous. Something I don’t expect, but also don’t hate.
“Who hurt you?” I demand with a conviction that seems to take us both by surprise, and the moment he ensnares me in his gaze, I hope like hell that I’ve just made the best decision in my life and not the worst one.