Chapter 16
Caelan
My tires crunch over gravel as I creep down a dirt road a mile South of the Varenthrall Estate.
I’m actually getting used to the sensation of something crawling under my skin every time I get near the estate. It’s a creeping, skin-prickling itch I can’t shake.
It’s not the property, or even my vicinity to it, that has me to shutting the pack Bond down tight. It’s the silver pool in my chest. The one connecting me to Idril.
It’s a living, breathing entity that warms further as I erase the miles between us.
On the drive here, it swirled frantically, pulling at me with eagerness, like it couldn’t get to her fast enough.
I don’t know why. Bonds don’t do this. They’re not sentient.
Unfortunatly, despite the hours I’ve spent searching, reading, googling and questioning discreetly I’m still just as ignorant as I first was days ago. There’s one thing I know for sure, and that one piece of knowledge is a double-edged sword that I’m terrified to touch.
This Bond makes Idril mine. My Fated Mate.
That fact is the singular most important thing I know, but it also happens to be the one thing I still have no way to prove.
Essentially, I’m as fucked now as I was the moment I realized what it meant.
“You good, brother?” Dax’s voice crackles in my ear as I walk through the forest toward Varenthra’lls property.
I grunt. “Yup. I’m solid.”
I give it three… two…
“You know I’m not trying to be a dick about this, right?”
Yup. There it is.
I don’t respond, content to let my silence speak for me.
Dax exhales, and I can feel his anxiety bleeding through the Bond. “I’m just worried about you. You’re my brother. You’re my best friend. Watching you throw yourself back into that house with that Omega in there…”
I stop, leaning a hand against the bark of a tree. Maybe it’ll ground me enough to keep me from blowing up at my packmate. Again.
“I’m doing my job, Dax. I’m not throwing myself anywhere.”
“I—”
“I need you to trust me,” I interrupt harshly. “Can you do that?”
There’s a long few seconds of silence before he sighs and say, “I’m trying.”
“You don’t trust her, Dax. I know that. I don’t agree, and I think you’re seriously overestimating this female’s ability to manipulate me, but I get it. She’s an unknown, and unknowns make you twitchy.”
It’s ironic, really. I’m not lying to Dax, but at the same time, the only thing he’s overestimating is how little he thinks I feel for her.
Not because he’s underestimating my obsession, but because he truly thinks it’s only lust and hormones.
My Alpha biology being ‘manipulated’ by her Omega biology.
Neither Dax nor Vae have a clue. If anything, I’m the manipulative one in this situation. I hate being dishonest with them. I hate hiding things. The guilt I feel keeping something this big to myself is always there, eating at me.
It’s the only option, though. Not only for my pack, but for Idril as well.
“Yeah. I know you think that. That’s what worries me. I think you’re seriously underestimating the way an Omega can use their biology to fuck with Alphas.”
Fates, he’s so obsessed with the biology thing.
I have to be missing something here. No one get like this unless it’s personal.
More and more, I’m starting to think Daxen’s been hiding something for us.
Something big. Something we’ve never noticed before because none of us have ever felt like this about an Omega before.
I sigh, knowing I need to be careful. I can’t poke him if this is actually something personal. He’ll lash out with cruelty, like an injured animal protecting its soft spots.
“You know I love you. You and Vae.” I hesitate, rolling my neck back and forth to work out the kinks.
“You’re my fucking family. The family I chose.
Please believe me when I tell you I’ve got this under control.
That’s all I can give you right now. I’m asking you—as your brother—to trust that I know what I’m doing. ”
“Even if I think you’re wrong?”
“Even then.”
As a peace offering, I crack open my side of the Bond the smallest amount, letting him feel my determination. My confidence.
I hear a sharp intake of breath followed by a groan of resignation.
“Fuck… Yeah, okay. I can do that.” The pause after his acceptance is heavy.
I wait, knowing there’s more he wants to say.
When he speaks again, his tone is hard. Serious.
“I’m willing to trust you on this. And… If I’m wrong, and this girl really is innocent, I want you to know…
I’ll apologize. I’ll get on my damn knees if I have to. ”
My throat tightens with emotion. I don’t want to, but I have to ask.
“And if I’m the one who’s wrong?”
Because I know that’s where he’s going. No one in the universe is more confident in their opinions than Dax.
“If you’re wrong, I’ll kill her myself,” he promises swiftly. “Because you’re my fucking brother, Caelan. And there’s nothing I won’t do for you.”
I block my side of the Bond fast before he can feel my rage at the thought of anyone harming my Mate, let alone Daxen. I force my voice into something light and teasing when I reply, “Let’s not go digging any graves just yet, yeah? I still have to get through tonight.”
“You’re close?” Like a switch that’s been flipped, he’s all business now.
“Bout fifty feet. I’ll take the side entrance. Probably not a bad idea to do a final sweep through his study before submitting myself to whatever fresh hells waiting for me in the basement.”
“Want me to send over some backup, just in case?”
“No. Like I said the other night, I’d have heard heartbeats even through the basement walls if there was anyone down there. Wherever the missing Omegas are, it’s not here.”
I stop at the sliding glass door leading into Varenthrall’s bedroom and double-check for signs of life. Not even the staff are on site tonight. There’s nothing but the faint, muffled sound of Idril’s heartbeat coming from the other end of the estate.
I focus harder and a feeling of awe sweeps through me. I’m not only feeling my heartbeat in my chest. I can feel hers, too. Right alongside my own.
Fuck, that’s so weird. This Bond is not normal at all.
I slip into the house and directly into Varenthrall’s room. A quick sweep verifies that, nauseating attempt at dark Gothic decor aside, everything looks the same. After a pass through his side drawers, bathroom, and closet, my gaze lands on his bed.
Yeah. Hard pass.
I’m just gonna hope he isn’t keeping the other half of that list under his pillow for safekeeping.
“Clear. Moving down the west wing hall and into the study.”
The pull in my sternum is damn near burning now. It’s frantic. Full of urgency. There’s an overwhelming sense of anxiety that I know is coming from Idril.
The anxiety disappears, replaced by confusion.
For some reason, that makes me smile. Irrepressible fondness for my sweet Omega makes me slightly light-headed. Fates, is this what love feels like?
I do my best to shake it off, disengaging the lock to Varenthrall’s study and crossing toward his desk. I search through the drawers as my mind spins with questions.
The air’s stale in here. It makes everything seem weighted, like room is getting smaller.
“You check the cryo-freezer?”
“No. Don’t want to waste time. No idea how long he’ll be gone.”
Dax hums, then asks, “You okay? I’m getting some… It feels like residual confusion coming through the Bond. What’s happening?”
Damnit. That’s not my confusion he’s picking up. It’s Idril’s.
Not only am I feeling her through our Bond, but somehow, my packmates are getting echoes of her emotions through me.
How is that possible?
“All good,” I reply, keeping my voice light. “Just something about random vials of magic blood that raises my blood pressure.”
I feel Dax’s disbelief, but he doesn’t push.
Smart.
If he pushes me right now, I might snap and tell him the truth—that I’m about ten seconds away from saying fuck the mission and racing straight to Idril. The closer I get, the more sure I am that there’s no Fatesdamned way I’m leaving tonight without her.
Fuck the consequences. The Bond is yanking and pulling and screaming in my chest, and I know—I fucking know—I can’t leave her again.
I don’t know how I ever thought I could. The first time I left her was hell. Now—
Now I’m sure I’ll physically fall apart without her.
All I need to do is find the other half of that list.
Then, Idril is mine.
Idril
I jolt awake, gasping for air like I’ve been underwater.
My lungs ache. My hands are shaking. Sweat gathers on my palms and forehead, and drips down my spine.
For a long minute, I can’t remember where I am. Nothing around me looks familiar. Reality feels flimsy. Only the dream feels real.
I close my eyes and—
Wings and fire and my mother’s silent scream somehow echoing in the air. Fire burning endlessly, decimating entire towns, cities, countries. Unstoppable destruction that burns bright in it’s greed.
My eyes snap open. I look around frantically. The scene in front of me is different, but the memory remains, horrifying in its clarity. Fates, I can still feel the shadow my mother’s wings cast over everything. Beautiful and terrible in equal measure.
Why would I dream of something like that?
My hands fly to my chest, resting over my racing heart. I force myself to slow down and really look at my surroundings so I can figure out where I am.
The towel, the book, the chair digging into my spine—
That’s right. Outside. I’m outside. My shoulders sag in relief. I must have fallen asleep—
Gods, no! I fell asleep!
I was supposed to be keeping watch!
Anything could have happened. Anything could have slipped past me while I slept! Panic claws at my insides, a keening whine of fear pierces through the air.
Is Caelan here? Is my father back from his meeting?
I press my lips into a tight line, straining to listen to the sounds around me. There’s something…
Something woke me from that nightmare.