Chapter 25
Idril
It’s clear that Cage is quite pleased with himself, but Vae and Silas give nothing away, which makes it impossible to tell what they think. Neither push back against his insane idea to barter food for answers, though.
And I’m far too hungry to waste energy refusing to play his stupid game.
“Alright,” I murmur, fingers tightening around my water.
Maybe this will work in my favor. If they think they’re winning some game, then there’s a chance they’ll be more open to hearing my side of things.
Besides, what choice do I have? It’s clear this is a joke to them. I might as well be a trained dog, performing tricks for scraps.
I hate them for it. For making me feel so small and desperate.
The flame in my chest flickers defiantly.
Once I agree, Silas doesn’t waste any time.
As if I actually had a choice.
“What were you doing when Caelan got to your house?”
“I was in my room.”
Silas looks at me expectantly. “And then…” he rolls his hand in a ‘get on with it’ gesture. I want to point out that I answered a question. According to their own rules, I should be given some food.
But I already know they won’t play fair.
I take another sip of water. “Then, I felt him in the house.”
“You felt him in the house,” Silas echoes dryly, running a hand through his mohawk. “Felt who? Caelan or your father?”
“Caelan.” I square my shoulders, a poor attempt at pretending to be brave.
Like I’m not being stared down by three huge Alphas who hate me. Like, I don’t already know this game is rigged.
“I felt him in the house and then heard someone pull up outside—”
Cage snorts. The only one not looking at me like this is nothing but a joke is Vae, so I turn to him.
“It was my Father.”
My voice is steady, despite my racing heart and sweaty palms.
“How did you know it was him?”
Cage’s tone drips with condescension.
I hold Vae’s gaze, waiting for him to stop the interruptions. Waiting to see if he’s going to actually listen to me. When his eyes dart toward Silas, and his lips tip in a cruel smirk, I know he won’t extend any mercy my way.
My eyelashes flutter shut. My shoulders sag in defeat.
Just like I thought. These Alphas have already made up their mind about me. They don’t actually care what answers I give. This is a joke to them.
I have to keep trying, though. I can’t just give up.
I take a fortifying breath and give them my answer.
“No one else ever comes to our home. My father left an hour or so before, so I knew it must be him coming back.”
Should I even bother explaining that I was waiting up? That something felt off to me that night?
Initially, I hoped it might prove that I care more for Caelan than the chance to escape Father’s clutches, but now I’m not so sure.
If they find out I had any inclination that a trap was being set, they’ll twist my words like they twist everything else. They’ll make assumptions based on their own beliefs. They’ll accuse me of coming up with excuses.
No, it’s safer to keep that part to myself.
Vae lifts a piece of toast with long, dexterous fingers. It’s homemade bread, dripping with butter and perfectly toasted.
I stare at it longingly. I don’t care if it’s obvious how badly I want it. My pride’s hanging on by a thread as it is. What’s one more humiliation?
He places it on my plate.
One piece. A single slice of toast.
It looks sad there. Small and lonely on the white china, while their plates overflow with eggs, bacon, fruit, and pastries. The contrast feels deliberate.
It’s small, sad, and alone. Just like me.
I don’t even care.
My relief is a physical thing. My eyes burn with tears, and I snatch the toast with greedy fingers, not caring when crumbs scatter everywhere, or when butter drips down my wrist and onto my only outfit. I don’t care about anything except the warm bread in my hands and how amazing it smells.
“That was hardly an answer,” Silas grumbles with a pout, but Vae glares at him.
I’m halfway through my second bite, mind fuzzy with relief, when Cage plucks the toast straight out of my hand. He places it on my plate and then slowly, purposely, slides the plate away from me.
I fist my hands in my dress and try not to scream.
“What do you mean that you felt Caelan in the house?” Silas picks up the line of questioning.
I open my mouth. Close it.
Then decide to tell them the truth.
“I felt him. In my chest. It was like…”
I pause, considering how to explain the impossible. How do I explain that something inside of me, part of my soul, stretched and stretched until it found a place inside Caelan? How do I explain that way it latched on, anchoring his soul to mine?
How do I make them understand how perfectly right it felt having him near me? How do I explain that for once in my life, nothing hurt. Because all I could feel was him.
Turns out, I don’t need to come up with the right words.
The room explodes in laughter.
Cage and Silas look like I just told them the most outlandish joke they’ve ever heard.
Their noise echoes in my ears, until all I can hear is their world-less mocking.
I told them the truth—possibly the most important truth I’ve ever spoken out loud—and they’re laughing at me.
My vision tunnels until all I can see are their faces. All I can hear is their laughter. I feel small. Stupid. Like I’m a joke. Like my Bond with Caelan is somehow… funny.
I just want them to stop. Stop laughing. I want to scream at them until they choke on their laughter.
But I don’t. Because nothing I say right now will matter.
I force my attention away from the duo, and my gaze falls on Vaelenor. He’s already studying me, moss green irises boring into mine.
I see the moment he decides not to believe me.
I feel it.
His eyes harden, and he looks away, like he can’t bear to acknowledge me another moment.
As soon as his eyes leave mine, I panic.
“Please,” I beg. Some part of me reaches out for him, raw and bleeding. I don’t know why, but he has to believe me.
“We’re done here.” His tone is flat. Dismissive.
“I’m telling the truth!” My voice cracks, making me wince. “I felt him. There’s a Bond between us. If you all would just listen to me, please.”
“A Bond,” Vae’s laugh is bitter. Somehow, even more cruel than the laughter of his friends. “Right. You expect me to believe my brother formed a Bond with you?”
His sneer guts me. The disdain in his eyes makes me want to hide somewhere and disappear.
But what’s most painful is the way he acts like I’m the last person on earth Caelan would choose to be Bonded to.
My heart cracks open. It fractures into a thousand pieces, and they fall, tumbling into an endless black abyss.
It shouldn’t matter, but his disgust aches. It’s a loss designed to keep me broken.
Will I ever know what it feels like to be whole?
Loved?
I want to argue, but I know if I try to speak, my tears will break free. I bite my lip so hard the skin splits. I tuck my chin to my chest, instinctively making myself a smaller target.
My heart pounds in my ears. Blood rushes to my face, and I only realize I’ve curled my hands into fists when I register the pain of my nails breaking the skin of my palms.
I can’t remember the last time I felt so humiliated. So worthless.
This moment feels like a rejection. Vaelenor’s not only rejecting me because I’m not worthy enough to Mate Caelan, but he’s also making it clear I’m not worthy of him, either.
Which is ridiculous because he isn’t my Mate.
He’s my Mate’s packmate, though. As soon as Caelan wakes up and tells them the truth, I’ll have to live the rest of my life knowing my Mate’s closest friends think I’m undeserving of him.
Maybe I am. I couldn’t even keep him safe from my father, despite how hard I tried.
Silas claps loudly and stands. “Well, you can try again at dinner, I suppose.”
I watch as he snatches what’s left of my meager breakfast, walking it to the trash bin in the corner. He grins and tosses the uneaten toast away. The sound of the lid falling shut may as well be a death knell.
“I answered your question,” I argue. I whine, but cut it off, so my words sound strangled.
“You lied,” Vae responds flatly.
Over platters piled high with food I’m not allowed to touch, his beautiful green eyes bore into me. Judging me. Condemning me.
Consuming me.
Something snaps, like a rubber band pulled too tight. My hands start shaking again, but this time, it’s not from fear.
It’s rage.
“I didn’t lie!”
I shoot out of my seat and glare at the beautiful male who basically holds my life in his callous hands.
“I told you the truth. I felt him. I felt Caelan. I knew exactly where he was in the house, and I heard my father pull up, and I ran.”
“Sit. Down.” Vaelenor doesn’t even look at me.
I don’t. I stay where I am, chest heaving, hands clenched into angry fists. For one insane moment, I consider refusing him outright. What are they going to do if I don’t, force me?
Cage stands. Silas follows a breath behind him, both males glaring at me like they’re just waiting for Vaelenor to give the order to do exactly that.
I register the excitement on Cage’s face, and my bravery evaporates.
They actually would force me. Not only that, they’d enjoy it.
Fates, I’m so stupid. What am I doing?
My bones seem to liquefy, and before I know what I’m doing, I sit.
How many times have I tried to explain what happened? How many more times will they make me tell them the same truths before they believe me?
A thousand. A million. A million more.
Be serious, Idril. You knew this was how it was going to be. You knew last night. You knew in that cell. You even knew in your bathroom when you thought you were being rescued and realized you were being imprisoned instead.
Stop hoping, you foolish girl. Stop trying to see the best in people.
It really doesn’t matter what I say. They won’t believe a word of it unless they can twist it into proof that I’m some kind of mastermind.