Chapter 23 Monroe
MONROE
Six Months Prior to Present Day,
The March Full Moon Ceremony,
Junior Year,
Sigma
“Kieren, please don’t leave me. Can’t I just stay with you like last time?” I hate how whiny and desperate I sound when it’s clear Kieren does not give a fuck.
“I have business to take care of downstairs before the Ceremony begins. I need you to wait in here with the other girls,” he explains, pushing me backward across the threshold of the doorway.
I stumble slightly, embarrassed to have been scolded and treated with such little regard by my own boyfriend in front of others.
Jace and Barrett stand on either side of the door, already dressed in what seems to be the standard Sigma Ceremony outfit of black pants, no shirt, and a demon goat mask covering the top half of their faces.
I still haven’t decided if their costumes are ridiculous or petrifying, but right now I’m leaning toward ridiculous.
I can’t believe this is the sacred tradition Kieren ranted and raved about in years prior – the tradition he couldn’t wait to resurrect because it would propel him to a level of greatness that ‘Sigma hasn’t seen in decades.
’ I mean, seriously? It’s just a big orgy.
What’s so great about that? The secrecy?
The fact that Dornell would immediately kick Sigma off campus if University administration found out?
As wrong as it is to admit, I understand the appeal, especially for the freshmen who are initiated as Sigma Little Sisters.
I guess if you aren’t into group sex, sex in public or a non-judgmental and sexually liberal person in general, this would be a nightmare.
Also, from what I remember from last time, this is not a heterosexual affair.
This is complete and utter hedonism. I recall duos and thrupples and groups that looked like a free-for-all.
Honestly, it’s freeing. Personally, I’m not into multiple partners, but I appreciate that many people are, and as long as all parties consent, it’s hot as fuck to watch.
But, that’s the thing. Is everyone here a consenting party?
Kieren told me there’s a nomination process for initiates, so obviously, you wouldn’t nominate someone who wouldn’t enjoy the Ceremony indulgences.
Those who are initiated have to get a brand, for fuck’s sake.
You really have to be committed from the outset.
He also told me that the freshmen are willingly taken from their beds at midnight, and are told to wear nothing but lingerie to bed, so, they must know, right?
Turning around, I scan the room. Girls in different patterns and colors of lingerie similar to my own black lace bra and thong sit in groups, chatting, laughing, and sipping drinks from red plastic cups.
Everyone has on the same black lace eye mask I remember from the last Ceremony.
There are no black bags over any heads yet, and no one seems nervous or anxious.
Maybe I’m the overthinking prude? Sigma is, after all, the most elite fraternity on campus.
Perhaps some of these women will end up dating men in the house, like Kieren and me.
I slide down the wall against my back and try to relax. The pill Kieren gave me has yet to kick in fully, but I feel the beginnings of a bubbly haze creep along the edges of my mind.
Three bodies rise near the back of the room and float toward me. Blinking, I wonder if I’m seeing apparitions or actual humans.
“Can we sit with you?” one of the women asks.
“Of course,” I answer, straightening my posture as the three women lower themselves into cross-legged sitting positions.
“You’re Monroe, right?” one of the girls asks. She looks strangely familiar.
I nod, reaching for words that do not come.
“I’m not sure if you recognize us in these masks. We’re actually in your sorority.”
“Oh my God, that’s why you look familiar. I’m so sorry. I’m very out of it,” I apologize, mortified that I didn’t immediately recognize them after the multitude of hours I spent overseeing the initiation of new sorority members.
“Don’t worry,” one of the women chuckles. “We all are.”
“I’m Kasey,” she offers. I study her long, blonde hair that flows in waves around her shoulders. Even with her face partially obstructed, it’s obvious she’s stunning.
“Yes, of course, Kasey!” I say, repeating her name more for my benefit than hers. Even more embarrassing is the realization that Kasey is my Grand-Little and part of my sorority lineage. I really need to do better.
“This is Morgan and Lilly,” Kasey says, referencing the two other women. They each give me a cute wave.
“We were so obsessed with you during rush by the way,” Morgan gushes. “Everyone was. You just seemed so cool and confident.”
“It’s true. You’re the reason why I wanted to join DG. That, and you’re freakishly beautiful,” Kasey adds.
I huff a laugh. “I’m not. You should see my best friend Gabi. She’s abroad this semester, but she’s the textbook definition of beautiful.”
“No, Monroe, you are like so hot,” Lilly says. “Morgan and I were both there the day during rush that Kieren brought you those roses.”
“Oh my God,” Kasey exclaims. “It was all anyone would talk about!”
“Is he your boyfriend?” Morgan asks. “Is that why you wear a different mask from the rest of us? Because you’re his?”
Despite Kieren shoving me into this room mere minutes ago, I can’t stop myself from grinning with pride when I tell her, “Yes.”
“He’s gorgeous,” Kasey fawns. “Does he share you?”
I cock my head in confusion. “What do you mean?”
“Like, at these things. Does he share you with other guys?”
“Umm, no,” I respond. An uncomfortable feeling twists in my gut. “Do your guys… share you?”
“Yeah, but I mean, thank God, because I don’t really like the guy who nominated me that much. Actually, last time I ignored him entirely,” Kasey says.
The other two girls giggle. “Yeah, you did!” Morgan jeers. “You went off with Barrett and Trevor and poor Wesley was so fucking pissed!” Morgan and Kasey laugh uncontrollably, and I find it within me to laugh along despite my unease.
“And are you… cool with that?” I ask cautiously. “The sharing? Or, the group stuff, rather?”
“God, I love it,” Lilly breathes. “I love it all. I love the attention. I love how these guys treat you like goddesses.”
“Same. Oh my God, last Ceremony, I fell asleep in Barrett’s bed, and when I woke up the next morning, he was going down on me! He got me off twice and then took me to get pancakes!” Kasey squeals.
I try to make my conspiratorial laugh sound genuine. “So, you like it then?”
“Obviously we can’t talk about it because it’s like a secret society and all that,” Morgan begins in a matter-of-fact tone, “but let’s just say people kind of know about it thanks to you know who and everyone is so envious.”
“Everyone wants to be a Sigma Little Sister,” Lilly agrees. “Not only are you like royalty around campus, but you also get to have the most unreal sex, like guaranteed unreal sex, every weekend, and not even have to work for it, or feel, you know, like you’re a slut.”
“And the guys are so hot,” Morgan concurs.
“Barrett is so hot,” Kasey smiles.
I try to focus on their banter but all I can hear are the words ‘so hot’.
“You have a crush,” Morgan says in a sing-song voice, giving Kasey a playful nudge.
“Wait, what do you mean ‘you know who’?” I ask, circling back to the snippet of conversation stuck in my brain.
Morgan shakes her head. “I shouldn’t say anything. I don’t want to get anyone in trouble.”
I let the thread drop, deciding the less I know, the better. I don’t want these women to think I’m here as a spy.
Before I can stop myself, I blurt out my biggest concern.
“And you’re okay with the brand?” I ask, touching the circle of raised skin on my derrière.
As soon as the question leaves my mouth, a sense of guilt consumes my thoughts.
I shouldn’t have asked. I’m supposed to be Kieren’s ambassador.
I can’t let my hesitation and insecurities show.
I’m supposed to make these women feel at ease.
“Maybe it was because I was really fucked up, but honestly, I didn’t even feel it,” Kasey says, rolling her eyes mid-sip, and I exhale my relief.
“Andre said I screamed, but I don’t remember,” Morgan adds. “That’s probably why they did them upstairs in the bedrooms.”
“Mine’s totally healed,” Lilly says. “I catch myself touching it all the time. It’s so cool. It’s like this secret thing I have that no one else can see unless you’re one of us.”
‘One of us.’ I mentally chew on Lilly’s words, at the pride in her voice to be part of an elite secret society, even if it’s rooted in sin.
“Do you have a lot of friends who are abroad?” Kasey asks.
“All my close friends are, yeah,” I say. “It’s hard. I miss them, especially Gabi.”
Light floods the room as the door opens, and everyone looks up with attention.
“Monroe,” one of the goat men calls. I’m pretty sure it’s Jace, but he’s backlit from the light in the hall, so I’m not entirely sure. “Kieren’s ready for you.”
I reach for the hand extended in my direction and grab on.
I turn to look at the three women, unsure of what to say.
It seems inappropriate to tell them I’ll see them inside the Ceremony room, since anonymity, even if partial, feels important.
Telling them I’ll see them later also feels…
weird. I settle on, “Have fun,” and give them a wink I hope they see through my leather mask before finding Kieren waiting for me in the hall.