Chapter 14
CHAPTER FOURTEEN
Even the thickest of nights can’t touch the darkness of the mind. Unconsciousness surrounds me. I breathe it in, and I float freely through the nothingness.
Somewhere in the distance, I hear voices, but they’re muffled. It’s like being caught in the undertow, the ocean’s hold on you coming from everywhere and nowhere at all. Adding to the disorientation is knowing there is no moonlight to reach up toward.
“Eros.” A woman’s voice cuts through the depths of my awareness like a finely tuned instrument.
I am not even sure that I have turned to face whoever just called out to me, but I respond just the same. “That’s not my name.”
A sharp correction is hurled at me. “Do not argue with me, child. You became Eros at your creation. The mortals do not dictate the identity of the gods.”
There is no pressing the issue further, not unless I dare to press the limits of this presence’s patience.
Even speaking quieter than a feather in the wind, my words echo around me and through me. “Who are you? Where am I?” I’m not sure which answer is more important, so I allow both to linger between us.
“One of the first of us. One who has been watching,” she responds with an ease that suggests this is her domain, where she is most comfortable. “You are here because I wish you to be.”
If what she says is true, she’s old, and that means she’s powerful.
Defying all logic in a way I could never explain to another, somehow the dark moves with liquid shadows to coalesce into the shape of a woman. The outline of her body is voluptuous, with beautiful curves rounding her hips, and swells, filling out her shape to reflect an unwavering confidence.
An outstretched hand cups my chin, the contact lighter than the air itself but no less anchoring. “He sees you now.”
I don’t dare pull away from her touch. Respect for this deity demands compliance, not cowardice.
“Who?” I ask, even if my heart knows his name. A name etched into a heart that has never known a heartbeat other than its own.
“My son.” Even in the absence of light, I can almost feel the proud smile she wears as she says the words.
Then, it comes to me. Recollections of the woman cast in marble, overseeing the front of Eryx’s property. Nyx, the goddess of night, who is the fabric that wraps itself around the universe, is here before me.
A part of me should know better, but I shake my head in hesitant disagreement as I dip my chin.
I murmur in defeat, “How can he? He’s been nothing but—”
She taps my chin up, and I feel the weight of her leaning in close to steal words straight from my tongue. “He’s hurt. Exhausted. Alone.” She allows that to sink in before adding, “Eryx has been living with discord without relief, chaos without purpose.”
That image she has painted sounds… draining, painful, and borderline hopeless.
Before I can ask Nyx to tell me what I can do, she’s slipping through my fingers. Chased back by the scent of storms filled with clouds of citrus, infiltrating my awareness.
Consciousness came back in blurred waves of light. When my focus came back to my vision, I found myself staring up at drapes of fabric creating a burgundy canopy above me. My pounding head was supported by a plush pillow, and the weight of grey and white furs kept me warm there on the bed.
Familiarity surrounded me except for the expression on the face of the god seated at my side. His eyes told the story of a man lost to his own thoughts, seeking shelter where he expected there to be none. He clutched my hand with both of his like something precious. All of it left me breathless.
Pushing myself upright slightly, he jolted out of whatever thoughts plagued him. Those dark cocoa eyes looked lighter, flecks of molten amber in them.
“You’re awake.”
I nodded, not pulling my hand from his grasp.
Clearing his throat, he sought composure to brace against the display of vulnerability. “You were out cold for a while. I thought—” He cut himself off once his voice wobbled, forcing steel back into his words. “Glad you’re alright.”
Taking a quick assessment of the room, it was an utter disaster. Cracks in the walls, dust and debris littered the space, and stains on the floor that I didn’t dare question. Chains that had held Jamie were left in a pile on the floor, with no sign of the butler.
“Is Mr. Peterson…?”
Already picking up on my concern, Eryx squeezed my hand with reassurance. “Off to the airport to meet someone special.”
Relief flooded my system, tension melting where I hadn’t realized I had been holding onto it.
Continued to survey whatever took place in this room, one major casualty had me sitting up straighter.
“What happened?” I nodded at the oversized birdcage where he had kept me captive. Instead of a pristine structure of evenly spaced bars and metal, the door hung crooked from its hinges, and parts of it were dented in broken angles. Several bars looked to be missing altogether.
Following my gaze, I watched as a muscle ticked in his jaw. Whatever had been inflicted on the cage brought a dark and haunted look to his face.
I watched as he worked his throat around words that seemed to cost him. “No longer yours, or anyone else’s, for that matter. I took care of it. All of it.” The admission came out rough, but honest.
He began to pull away, but I instinctively held onto him tighter. My other hand came to rest on top of both of his as I leaned in to meet his eyes with my own.
“Thank you,” I said, grateful for his act of selflessness. Still, a pang struck a chord in my heart. It reminded me of the ting of a pebble striking a tin can, oddly empty and lingering.
Eryx responded with a curt nod, clear that discomfort settled over him when I acknowledged what he had done. His eyes flicked downward momentarily, and his thumb lightly tapped against the back of my hand before he withdrew.
Silence stretched thin. I was willing to let it hover between us, but Eryx chose to break it.
“You’re free to go, Charlee.” He didn’t meet my eyes.
A release I hadn’t been seeking, not after everything.
I ducked my head down to try and force him to look at me if he was saying goodbye. “And if I don’t want to?”
No hesitation in his response, just words cold and blunt like a frozen hammer, “You’re stupid.”
I couldn’t help the bubble of laughter at the candid response. The raw honesty broke through an otherwise heavy moment.
Doing my best to suppress a borderline inappropriate smile, I kept my eyes glued on him. “Maybe I want to be stupid.”
He withdrew from me, sitting back in the chair at the bedside. Lifting a hand to his nose, he pinched the bridge of it.
“Don’t argue with me,” he said wearily.
My teeth bit into my lower lip. “Maybe I want to do that, too,” I said softly as I shifted my position to perch on the edge of the bed, legs dangling off the side.
Dropping his hands into his lap, he stared at me with an incredulous look at my relentless push to remain right here with him and mild confusion that I wasn’t running for the hills, valleys, or furthest corners of the cosmos.
He leaned forward again, elbows propped on his knees. “You know, for a goddess who deals with desire, you do a shit job of reading when people don’t want—”
Refusing to allow him further protest, I pitched myself forward. My lips collided with his, unapologetic in their endeavor to pour what desire I could call my own into the act.
He tensed, remaining rigid for all of three heartbeats before he returned the kiss with equal fervor. Passion igniting between our mouths, tongues clashed in a compromising dance of push and pull.
I rested my hand on the side of his face, a tender hold. Eryx, however, possessively slid his hand onto the back of my neck, tethering me to him.
When we both split for air, I was taken off guard by a genuine chuckle from him.
“What’s so funny?” I asked, both amused and braced to potentially go on the defensive.
“For once, I’ve never seen chaos so willing to be bound by desire. It seems you managed to put a piece of me into a cage, Heartspite.” His tone suggested that it was one he didn’t mind being captive.
Warmth spread across my cheeks. “Didn’t mean to.” I wasn’t sure if it was something I should have apologized for or not, so I settled for distracting myself by straightening his silver tie.
The contented expression on my face faded as my mind reeled into its own version of chaos.
Eryx grabbed my chin and lifted it, not forcefully but with encouragement to face him and whatever turbulent thoughts spiraled inside my head.
“I want to know what you’re feeling, Charlee.”
“Sadness.” The admission felt shameful given how much we both had overcome.
His brows knit together, and something protective crept into his posture. “Why?”
“I can’t give you what you deserve, I can’t give your heart what it should have,” I explained as though it should have been obvious.
Eryx took my hand and pressed my palm against the hardened muscle of his chest, where underneath flesh and bone lay a heart beating its own unique rhythm. “Don’t you see? You already have.”
Even as he still held my chin with his other hand, I shook my head. “I will never be able to match myself with you. You should find someone whose heart can synchronize with yours.”
Softening the look on his face, he released me. “I don’t need the discord in my heart to be steadied. I need someone who can guide it into something greater.” He paused, taking the opportunity to press a sweet kiss to my forehead. “That person is you, Charlee.”
I choked out a sob. “You don’t get it. Others have hearts made of flesh and desire. Mine? May as well be a rare gem, hardened crystal that looks pretty but never functional.”
When Eryx stood, I was certain he was going to abandon me here. I wouldn’t have blamed him either.
I startled when he kicked his chair back with enough force that it nearly toppled right over.
Then, he dropped to both knees before me, and his hands found mine in my lap, looking at me with nothing but utter devotion.
“If your heart is precious enough to be a rare gem, then let me be the one to put it in a titanium setting. I’ll turn it into a ring and promise.
” His hands squeezed mine, planting several light kisses to my fingertips.
“A promise that you won’t just have a god on his knees, but a man willing to hand you all his broken pieces. ”
My breath caught at his vow of devotion, his acceptance of me as the goddess I was. His goddess. His Heartspite. Because throughout all of this, somehow I had managed to spite the nature of my own heart.
Moisture welled up in my eyes, spilling over onto my cheeks. I refused to sever the connection of our hands, leaving the tears to fall where they may.
“You’re stupid,” I croaked out, part laugh and part exasperation, echoing his earlier words.
A broad smile donned his lips, and he rose off the floor, tugging me to my feet as well.
He looked at the vintage two-bell alarm clock situated on the nightstand. Two minutes after midnight. Eryx then stared into my eyes, pressing his forehead to mine.
“Happy Valentine’s Day, Charlee,” he murmured against my lips.
I let out a shaky breath, wavering from the residual emotions wrapping around my heart. Unable to resist, I nipped at his lower lip. “Careful. That almost sounded like a promise to invest in bushels of rose petals, expensive champagne, and ridiculously-sized stuffed bears.”
A teasing smirk tugged at the corner of my mouth before I whispered, “Happy Forever, Eryx.”
In that exact moment, the threads of our fates irrevocably braided themselves into something unbreakable…
…Thump-thump.