CHAPTER THIRTY
ALYSSUM
It was early morning when a knock sounded on my door. I jerked awake with a gasp, the memory of Berig’s bloodied face drifting from my mind’s eye as I stared at the dark green of fresh bed linens. The ones I had left dangling from the window would no doubt require a wash.
The knock repeated, more urgently this time, and I pushed myself beyond the covers with a scowl.
Keep things from me, lock me in my room, and hold me against my will?
Fine. May as well have been another day in Lunamor castle.
But wake me after a long, traumatic night before the sun’s yolk had burst from atop the trees, bathing Grenythwood Village in a weak glow that, admittedly, barely differentiated day from night?
Absolutely not.
Wearing only my shift, and with a rather sharp word hovering on my tongue, I unlocked my door and yanked it open in one swift motion.
The curse that had been overly prepared for its utterance dissolved into a squeak when I realized it was Vayen who stood in the dark hallway with a guarded expression.
She wore that same leather vest from the blood pit, bare from the shoulders down save for the long brown jacket she had folded over one forearm.
“Sorry to wake you,” she offered flatly, even as those strange eyes flitted down my less-than-adequately dressed form.
The thoughts that flooded me made quick work of the remnants of sleep still clinging to my senses.
Why hadn’t I looked in the mirror before answering the door?
Had hair escaped the braid I slept in to stick up at odd angles?
Why didn’t I grab my damnable robe? And, most importantly, how transparent exactly was this shift?
I resisted the overwhelming urge to cross my arms over my chest, a decidedly weak attempt to retain the final shreds of my modesty.
But that could potentially expose both the angry haste with which I’d opened the door and my growing embarrassment at standing before her in my bedclothes, neither of which I had any interest in admitting to.
So I elongated my neck with poise, even as her silver eyes raked over me.
“Glad to see you’re alive,” I said coldly. The white shift I wore was sleeveless with shoestring straps. It also happened to be backless, which, while comfortable to sleep in, was less-than-appropriate attire for greeting visitors and less-than-effective at hiding scars.
I expected some sort of reaction from the woman considering how indecently I presented, yet there was none. From what I had experienced thus far, Vayen’s complete lack of expression was unlike her. Instead of flared nostrils, half-lidded eyes, and a fluttering jawline, I was met with… nothing.
“I’d like you to join me for a walk,” Vayen said, her cadence slower and more controlled than I was used to.
This woman, I groaned internally. The moment she made her request known, I wanted to reach for my cloak and follow after her. No questions asked, no hesitation. Pure obedience. I couldn’t pinpoint the reason she had that effect on me, but I didn’t find it amusing.
“Right now?” I forced myself to ask.
“Yes.”
I tried not to allow my growing suspicion to narrow my eyes or indent my brow, but I doubted I was very successful.
I had seen the devastation those hands were capable of.
I should have been afraid of her. Too afraid to join her on an unchaperoned, early morning stroll, at the very least. Yet I entertained the idea despite myself.
“Alone?” I clarified.
“Yes.”
That stupid, stoic, not-at-all gorgeous face gave nothing away. Absolutely nothing. Which was when I realized the very obvious fact my sleep-addled brain had skimmed right over.
Suddenly, my lips parted in surprise, and I stepped forward despite myself.
I could only spot mere remnants of last night’s horror on her skin.
Dried blood on her neck, faint yellow splotches cradling her eye socket, the slightest bit of swelling puffing her jaw.
But I had seen Berig pummel her with his massive fists, and heard the sickening crack of those hits landing true.
“You’re barely hurt! How is that possible? ”
“If you come with me,” Vayen started, the incline of her head causing her short curls to shift, “there are many truths I intend to share with you.”
Hope. That was the feeling blooming in my chest, wasn’t it?
A bright, weightless bubble holding the promise of truth, finally.
But what if it was all a ruse? What if I was only in for another bout of half-truths and conveniently worded answers?
So I forced the bubble to halt its expansion; better to be wary and pleasantly surprised, after all.
Don’t let her know how badly you want this.
“I suppose I’m available,” I finally said after a halfhearted shrug. With a sarcastic lilt, I added, “May I dress myself first?”
There. It was fleeting, the flicker in Vayen’s eyes, but I saw it. She took her own step forward, drawing my gaze up only slightly to meet hers as she lingered in my doorway. The reply that slipped from her full lips stole the breath from mine.
“If you must.”
We hovered there, the silence around us thickening with the uncertainty of that moment.
If I must. What in the depths was that supposed to mean?
Once more, her attention dropped to my shift, and I found myself frantically reaching for the door’s handle.
“All right, then… I’ll… I’ll see you downstairs in a moment.” It wasn’t until I had begun closing the door that Vayen stepped back, allowing me to seal it fully. For whatever reason, I quickly secured the iron rod, my hurried breath betraying the calm facade I’d barely managed in her presence.
I hesitated there, teeth sinking into my lower lip as I listened for her footsteps in the hall.
But I was met only with silence. After a shaky inhale, I pressed my ear to the door.
Was she going to wait out there while I dressed?
I wasn’t sure why, but the very thought multiplied the nerves in my stomach.
I tiptoed over to the full-length mirror to assess myself.
With a sharp gasp, I palmed both of my breasts as a wave measuring equal parts gratitude and mortification washed over me.
On the one hand, the shift was not transparent.
On the other, that meant little when my nipples had hardened against early morning’s chill.
Their outline was clearly visible through the thin fabric.
I thought her descending eyes had been solely due to my impropriety, but then again…
“If you must.”
I swallowed against the heat seeping into my cheeks.
Vayen was teasing me, that had to be it.
She was probably intending to relay the tale to Winnie, and I would be on the receiving end of their good-natured jabs for half a month as a result.
As I began readying myself for the day, I became more and more certain.
What other possibility was there when she’d only ever been curt and dismissive of me?
Instead of allowing my mind to analyze each and every one of Vayen’s looks, or the meaning of the words she had spoken, I forced my focus to the task at hand: become presentable so that I might finally get some answers out of this secretive woman.
I had become quite adept at tightening the leather lacing of my dress all on my own.
My fingers all but flew as I fitted the bodice to my form.
Its storm cloud color had become one of my favorites, the dark hue contrasting satisfyingly with my ivory skin.
I took in the long sleeves and the deep, widened neckline with a gentle nod.
Much more ladylike.
I impatiently removed the misshapen braid from my hair, allowing the pale blonde waves to cascade down my shoulders and back. Finally, I completed a quick assessment to ensure nothing had fallen out of place before stuffing my feet into my Hollow bucket boots.
I retrieved my cloak from a hook by the door, ensuring my moonstone pin remained securely fastened, before draping it over my arm. With all of the regal air I’d been taught to wield, I returned to my bedchamber door and pulled it open.
There Vayen stood, leaning back in the dim hallway with a casual demeanor I’d never once seen from her.
Her weight was shifted onto one leg while the other bent at the knee, boot resting against the wall, an unbothered expression keeping her features soft.
The woman had an annoying, easy confidence that worked a little too well in her favor.
Even in the dim light of the hallway, I could see those silver eyes as they skirted down my form, taking in the collar of my dress, the cinch at my waist, and even peering at the toes of my boots barely visible below.
I felt an unwelcome jolt of warmth in my core, my nipples hardening once more in response.
Damn you.
How lovely it was that I’d been reduced to cursing my own nipples. At the very least I was quite certain they would not be visible through the thick linen of Catrin’s dress, and for that I should be thankful. But I had much more important contemplations—for example, why were they stiffening at all?
Vayen drew my eye and wandering mind when she licked her lips and pushed off the wall, holding the jacket out for me. “It’s quite cold this early.”
“Oh, no… I couldn’t. My cloak should be fine.”
“It won’t be,” Vayen said with surety. “Please, I insist.”
I hesitated there, looking at her bare arms with confusion. “But what will you wear?”
“Don’t worry about me,” she insisted. When I didn’t reach my hand out, she closed the gap between us.