CHAPTER THIRTY-ONE #3
“This village became a haven for the exiles—those who, for whatever reason, could not stay in their place of origin.”
Catrin. She may not have answered my question, but she did offer more than I had realized. I chose my words very carefully, and even softened my voice.
“You were exiled from Grenloch.”
“Who told you that?”
The undercurrent of anger deepening her tone was not lost on me. Fear knotted in my throat, but I forced out, “No one. At least, not exactly. Milo became upset at the mention of Grenloch, and Catrin explained it’s where his people used to live. She… she said Grenythwood was a haven for the exiles.”
Not a haven for all, I thought against the memory of Berig’s brutalized face.
Vayen’s right fist clenched, drawing my attention. I could all but see the gears turning in her mind.
“When the Threshold appeared, effectively cutting us off from the rest of Morwyn, chaos ensued. I now suspect Gavner had been conspiring his takeover for quite some time, because he was prepared. That artifact you saw him wield against me last night… it’s powerful, and he used it to murder our—” The word that hovered on her tongue could not be summoned, and she swallowed hard before averting her gaze entirely.
“He established a new reign in Grenloch. The elders, and anyone he perceived as a threat to his rule, were given a choice. Submit, or die. I am proud to say that most, including my own blood, chose the latter.” Proud, yes—that much was evident.
But also crushed beneath the sorrow left in her people’s wake, if the slight wavering of her voice was any indication.
She cleared her throat before continuing.
“Everyone who survived the culling had a decision to make. Stay in Grenloch, and live under the man who ruthlessly murdered our elders. Or be exiled to Grenythwood Village.”
The tide of her sadness was dragging me under, and I had to clutch the arms of my throne to stay present. “If you’ve chosen to leave him to his own devices, then why have the blood pit at all?”
“It was his inaugural act as ruler of Grenloch—establishing a new holiday.” That last word barely escaped her gritted teeth, and its bitterness roiled my stomach.
“A sacrifice of sacred blood,” I echoed. “For Naeno.”
“Lies,” Vayen seethed. “Naeno would never. It is Gavner’s will, and his will alone that calls for Videan blood to spill.
Milo and I. We are the last, and if he could make us submit, his rule would be legitimized.
That is why he does not kill us, but instead forces us to…
” The rest of her utterance seemed to lodge in her throat, and I couldn’t blame her.
The firelight danced across her profile, and I found myself once more staring, entranced by the lines of her face and the way her bronze skin soaked up the light.
“What does it mean,” I began carefully, “to be a Videa?”
“It is a blessing,” Vayen said automatically. Then, “And a curse. We are chosen by Naeno.”
“For what?”
“If only we knew.”
It was an uncomfortably similar circumstance to my own. Bound by a fate outside of Vayen’s control, expected to perform a role that only seemed to take rather than give. Harmed for the blood pumping through her, as if it had been a choice to be born with a brand that never fades.
The silence around us grew heavy, permeated only by the sleep noises escaping Whick’s whistling nostril and the hearth’s crackling.
I noticed when Vayen steeled herself, the way she rolled her neck before relaxing into the throne.
The weight of her circumstance shrugged off like an ill-fitted cloak.
“He returns every two seasons to enforce the blood pit, reminding us that we are not free of his reign, and should he so choose to eradicate us from the face of Morwyn, he need only will it. Many died during the culling. More still have died in the blood pit. If Naeno’s Vessel could awaken, and reconnect my people with the land, we could fight back.
At the very least, we would have a chance. ”
“But that orb of his. How could you possibly—”
“Because we’ll be prepared. We know what he’s capable of, and we can bring the fight to him.
Our elders, they… they didn’t know what was to come.
They couldn’t have anticipated…” Her whole throat bobbed with a swallow.
“I was a child then. I couldn’t do what needed to be done.
But I am prepared, now. I am prepared to do whatever is necessary. ”
Her tale was tragic, so tragic I could hardly imagine it, but I wouldn’t allow myself to be consumed by the sympathy rousing in my chest; for some reason, Vayen felt this related to me, and that could not bode well for the quiet simplicity I’d just started to sink into.
“I’m very sorry to have touched on such a painful subject,” I offered, sincerity softening my voice. “But what does any of this have to do with me?”
Vayen collected herself with a deep breath. She leaned forward once more, pinning me with a stare that had me feeling uncomfortably observed. “In my vision, you were in a birdcage alongside Naeno. You seemed to belong to her.”
“I must be misunderstanding you.” I uncrossed my legs so that I could push the balls of my feet into the rug, grounding myself.
“Because you had a dream—” I quickly corrected myself when Vayen’s lips parted “—forgive me, a vision—you think it’s possible I might be a… what did you call it… a moon Vessel?”
“Goddess Vessel,” Vayen clarified. “And that’s not all. There’s a reason Whick thought I was being a trickster; I must have said something that piqued his interest in you as well, something that opened his mind to the possibility that you might be the one.”
“I mean… that is just…” I threw my hands into the air, assessing the complete disaster that was Whick’s dwelling with incredulity.
“There is no possibility that I am what you think I am. And all because you dreamt of someone who vaguely resembles… I mean, look at me.” I gestured wildly.
“Everything I touch falls apart! If I were some powerful Vessel being, I suspect my life would look quite different than it does right now. I would be different.”
“If there is one thing of which I am absolutely certain, it is that you have no ability to conceive of what you are and are not, Alyssum.”
I stilled against the shock of my name spilling from her lips like it belonged there.
I hadn’t heard it spoken aloud since I’d had the pleasure of being threatened by my father.
Only he chose to wield those three, torturous syllables, as though they were a weapon to be brandished against my heart, but from her mouth…
it felt entirely different. Familiar, and knowing, in a strange way I couldn’t quite fathom.
Vayen broke the spell my name had cast when she stood and maneuvered around the short, cluttered table with an outstretched hand. She was expectant, and even though I’d agreed to relinquish my pin, I desperately wanted to say no.
I hesitated there, meeting her gaze with a newfound defiance.
She offered me only a slow, unimpressed blink before lowering her face closer to mine.
The emerald starburst encasing her pupil dissipated as the blacks of her eyes adjusted to the shadows.
“I told you my belief, Princess. And I will reiterate it for you once more: I am convinced with every thread of my being that you are a Goddess Vessel meant to free my people from the curse that has all but destroyed us. If there is even the slightest chance that I am right, I need to know. Not just for my sake, but for Milo’s, and for the people that demon still has in his grasp.
If you’re so convinced that I’m mistaken…
that there’s no realm in which you could be as special as I believe you to be, then let me prove it. Give me the moonstone.”
Why in the depths was I hesitating? I’d told Vayen that if she answered my question, I would let them take a look at it. What harm could there be in that? And yet the very thought of reaching my hand into my cloak pocket and retrieving my mother’s pin filled me with insurmountable dread.
Vayen and Whick were wrong, I reminded myself.
I was nothing more than a half-blooded Lunamorian who’d only held value as a Treaty Princess, and I had selfishly betrayed my kingdom in the face of that responsibility.
Regardless of the consequence to Lunamor, and our long-standing alliance with Hollowmire, I had—in this singular instance—put myself first. And it cost me everything.
I had always been a coward, but this was the very first time in my life I felt truly worthless.
Perhaps that was why I hovered in the moment, my own glacial blue eyes locked on Vayen’s silvery greens. Her gaze flitted over my features, seemingly searching for the question that I could barely admit to myself, let alone her.
What if I was meant for something more?
Stupid girl, always ready to repeat the same mistakes.
I had already had my chance at special, and I’d cast it aside for the slightest possibility of freedom.
I had chosen Alyssum Lunamor above all else.
I was still working on making peace with that decision, and accepting another fate that put lives in the balance?
A future that once more commandeered any hope I might have of a quiet life, of forging my own way without the input of advisors whose last concern was my well-being?
I would not be forced down that path again.
“I’d like to leave now,” I said, barely able to control the cracking of my own voice. I adjusted myself to stand but Vayen’s palms on the arms of my throne locked me in. She leaned forward, aligning her lips with my ear to whisper a message that was for me and me alone.