CHAPTER FORTY-THREE
ALYSSUM
Ihadn’t thought it would take much to convince Vayen that it was my will and my will alone propelling us towards the Threshold, but as we drew closer, with only Rummy’s steady clop, clop, clop to backdrop her concerns, it was clear I’d been wrong.
“You don’t have to do this,” she said, her shame having been replaced by barely muted objection.
I considered how our roles had been reversed; instead of my worrying that she might change her mind and drag me to Castle Sor, it was now her burden to worry that my impulsive decision would be revoked the moment I saw the wall of fog that had nearly stolen my life more than a month ago.
I couldn’t blame her for that—I was hardly able to believe it myself.
“Alyssum,” Vayen said, pulling me from my thoughts. Her arm ghosted my left side, her grip tight on Rummy’s lead. His steps were languid, as though there was no hurry to reach our destination.
“What?”
“I said you don’t have to do this.”
I looked back so that we could see one another. I could only barely make out those silver-green eyes housed in bronze features, indented in their worry.
“I know,” I said firmly. “I’m choosing to.”
I righted my posture, easing my hold on Rummy’s mane when I realized it was tighter than necessary. My free hand began to stroke the pale coat of his shoulder. I was surprised that it steadied me against the fear prickling the edges of my awareness.
“Make me believe you,” Vayen asked, the higher register and softness of her words sounding very near desperate. “Make me believe that this is what you want.”
“You know what I think, Vayen? I think we need to start trusting each other a bit more. Obviously we got off on the wrong foot as far as that’s concerned, what with all the deception and kidnapping, but it seems to me we’re about to risk our lives to ascend a snow-packed grave of a mountain, and I think that might be less of a torturous endeavor if we found it in our hearts to… I don’t know… begin again?”
“Begin again,” she echoed.
“Begin again,” I repeated with determination. “No more lies or deceit, even by omission. No more kidnapping or tying one another up. No more daggers or leashes or lullawort or—”
“I get your point,” she deadpanned, though I remained unbothered.
“Good. Then what do you say?”
I cast a backward glance, our eyes connecting momentarily as she nodded in agreement.
“I think I can do that,” she said. “That’s… very kind of you.”
“Indeed it is.”
A huff of a laugh escaped Vayen, and I allowed the smallest smile before turning forward once more.
That barely-there smile disappeared before I managed to situate myself comfortably, because despite the surety I felt, I remained keenly aware we were nearing our destination.
Not only due to recognizing the very spot where we had been attacked, but also because our already dampened surroundings quieted even further.
The silence became louder, as if the animals that inhabited the wood knew not to venture here, and my chest tightened in response.
“Are we alone?” I asked Vayen, first hoping to dismiss that very particular fear before addressing the one that loomed before me.
“Yes.”
“You’re certain?”
“My senses have only increased since I regained the ability to phase. I promise you—no one is coming.”
I loosed a shaky exhale, forcing my shoulders down and swallowing thickly. There were no bandits coming for us this time, so I could focus my attention on the other terror clawing its way through my stomach.
Before I had a chance to steady myself, Rummy lowered his sizable body to the ground.
It was then I noticed that the path before us, once packed, well-traveled dirt, faded into the wood up ahead.
Its defined edges blurred into the creeping weeds, as though Grenythwood had made the very sudden decision this path could not go any further.
“We’ll travel the rest of the way on foot,” Vayen said, easing herself off Rummy’s thick body. She began unloading our travel packs from the saddlebags, holding the comparatively smaller one out for me to sling over my shoulders.
I hesitated there, reluctant to dismount, though I did reach out and grab the weather-proofed pack Vayen handed me. “The road’s gone, but I don’t see a thicket. Why can’t we ride?”
“Rummy won’t be coming with us.”
I was disappointed and surprised in equal measure. “Why not?”
“Says the girl who hasn’t taken to him,” Vayen teased, though I could sense a heaviness there.
When I offered no levity in return, she rested up against Rummy’s side, gently gliding a hand down his neck.
“His kind doesn’t cross the Threshold, and I can’t imagine he’d excel at climbing a ‘snow-packed grave of a mountain.’ Not to mention he stands out a bit, wouldn’t you say? ”
I continued stroking his shoulder. “It’s true, he does.”
“I don’t know who sent those bandits, but I do know that the moment we cross, there’s going to be more than just them after us. You said it yourself—two of the most prominent kingdoms in the land are searching for you. It’s imperative that we avoid standing out wherever possible.”
Grudgingly, I dismounted Rummy with slightly more finesse than I had in the past. I didn’t leave his side as I looped my arms through the thick leather straps of my pack.
The straps crossed over my back, and it ended up not being quite as heavy as it looked.
I doubted the same was true of Vayen’s rucksack.
Hers, only marginally smaller than her torso, was made of a dark oilcloth, with leather-stitched, reinforced edges. She kneeled to the ground, fiddling with the clasps before reaching inside to remove a dark linen shirt sat folded on top.
I hadn’t withdrawn my hand from Rummy’s shoulder, but my focus was stolen by Vayen as she unbuckled her vest and lifted it up and over her head, displaying a half-bare torso for the woods to see.
She paid me no mind, clearly unconcerned with my observation.
Still, I could feel the heat crawling undeterred up my neck, so I fiddled with the straps of my pack.
If only my eyes had been in agreement with the rest of me, I might not have been able to make out the swell of her breasts beneath her black bindings.
Further down, her core looked capable—soft lines of muscle indented where she hunched over, defined but not harsh, accentuating a tapered waist. The same could be said of those arms. They were not chiseled from rock, but instead called upon visions of braided silk or the winding roots of a tree.
When she leaned forward to check her rucksack for the umpteenth time, the lift of her shoulder blades only deepened her spine’s indentation.
I’d never laid eyes on an attractive spine before, but I had the distinct impression that journeying with Vayen would be filled with firsts.
I released the breath that had hovered in my lungs when she shrugged into the shirt, fingertips quick to fasten the buttons.
Like most of her clothes, it was fitted to her form, with long sleeves and a neckline in the shape of a V.
In one swift motion, she’d pulled the vest back over her head, her movements adept as she tightened the front buckles.
Now that was a proper distraction.
When her gaze flitted to mine, I returned my focus to Rummy. I brushed my hand down his neck, as though I’d never stopped, effectively dispelling any illusion that I hadn’t taken to the creature during our time together.
Don’t flush, I begged my cheeks.
“Cold?” I managed to say through my would-be disinterest.
“Hardly. But I’ll draw less attention this way.”
“And me?” I asked, swooping my long, pale braid over my shoulder. “How am I meant to draw less attention?”
“Spotting a Soran near the base of the mountain isn’t uncommon, though we will have to be wary of patrols along the Threshold until we get there. In the meantime…” Vayen tossed me a bundled-up bit of fabric.
I turned it over in my hands, clicking my tongue in recognition.
She’d brought me a cowl. Its fabric was thick, yet still quite soft, and the shade of brown matched Vayen’s dark hair.
I draped it around my neck, grateful for the extra warmth it provided.
It had no adornments, nor any embroidery, and it smelled strongly of Vayen’s things, a fact I didn’t find myself minding.
“Thank you,” I said, pulling my braid into the inner lining. Once secure, I located a corded tie at the base of my neck that allowed me to tighten it snugly against my head. I looked up to find her watching me. “Does it look okay?”
“It’s perfect,” Vayen said, her vaguely reverent tone having absolutely nothing to do with the sudden hum of my skin.
She slung the rucksack over her shoulders easily, fiddling with the straps until it sat higher on her back.
With that, she crossed behind me, approaching Rummy as he stood to his full height.
I watched, hand still resting on his neck. She drew closer to his muzzle, her fingertips brushing the pink outlining his nostrils and lips, before flattening her hand to rub the mottled black leading up to his inkwell eyes.
He peered down at her, snuffling gently, ears and tail twitching.
When Vayen closed her eyes and leaned forward, so too did he, and after bending his front knee so they were on the same level, her forehead met his. Something unspoken passed between them. It was deep and affectionate, a bond unlike anything I’d seen before.
I allowed my hand to fall from Rummy’s neck, my own heart aching for Miss Mystis.
Our connection might not have been as deep as Vayen and Rummy’s, but I had looked forward to her visits when summer’s heat finally dissipated.
If nothing else, she seemed to understand me the way Rummy seemed to understand Vayen.
I wondered if she had found someone in the castle to feed her, or to scratch the spot underside her chin that made her tail swish and eyes close pleasurably.