21. I Hate Goodbyes
I Hate Goodbyes
“ W hat do we do?” I pressed my back to the kitchen door and looked up at Hale.
Holy shit, they move fast. One second Tyler’s on the couch and Xander’s on the love seat. Next minute they’re sitting together, groping man chest, with their tongues down each other’s throats. He really was gay!
I was more shocked about Xander than Tyler. I always suspected Ty liked men, but he never came out and said it.
“Oh, my God.” I covered my mouth. “Ty has a girlfriend!”
Hale’s face was comical as he blew out a breath. “We could make popcorn.”
“Huh? ”
“Popcorn has a strong smell and it’s noisy. It’ll remind them we’re here.”
I cracked the door and squeaked, quickly shutting it. “They are all over each other!”
Hale went to the cabinet and pulled out a pot. Then he loudly dumped kernels into it and turned on the burner. “That should only take a minute.”
“They’re on my blanket.” I cracked the door again and gasped. “Hale, look at this!”
“I’m good.”
“You’re missing out. They’re really going to town. Guys just get right to it, don’t they?”
He peeked over my head. “So much for Ty’s girlfriend.”
“I know!” I let the door close. “This means he’ll finally come out of the closet. Thank God, because the secrecy was killing me.”
“It was his secret, Rayne.”
“Yes, but I’ve felt the weight of it since tenth grade. This is huge!”
The kernels started to pop and the scent of buttery popcorn soon filled the air. Once we had it in a bowl and ready to go, we carried everything to the door, making as much noise as possible.
“Act casual,” I said, looking back at Hale. I pushed open the door and yelled behind me, “Babe, grab me a water.”
Tyler sat stiffly on the couch and Xander paced as he fumbled with his shirt as if trying to hide whatever was going on in his pants. I hid a smile because this was so much better than the creepy vibes I’d been getting all week from him.
“Did you figure out something to watch?” I asked Tyler as I plopped onto the sofa next to him.
He cleared his throat. “That Will Ferrell movie looks okay.”
I looked at Xander, but he still wasn’t facing us. Hale came out with a few bottles of water.
I put the popcorn on the coffee table. “Oh, shoot,” I said unconvincingly. “I forgot my ginger ale. Tyler, will you come help me find it.”
He frowned. “You need help finding your— ah!” I pinched him and he got my message. Rubbing his arm, he scowled. “Let’s go find your ginger ale, you maniac.”
I left Hale to deal with Xander. The second we reached the kitchen I turned on Tyler. “You’re gay!”
“What?”
“Enough already with the denying,” I moaned. “You’re gay. You like boys. I saw you kissing Xander!”
“You saw us?”
“It’s not like you were hiding.”
He flushed and scrubbed his hands over his face, groaning.
I frowned, wondering why this was so stressful for him. “Are you upset about the girlfriend?”
He stilled then winced. “Fuck!” Pacing to the island, he forked his fingers through his hair. “I don’t know what happened.”
“I do. You made out with a boy.”
He glared at me.
“What? There’s nothing wrong with that.”
“I know. It’s just…” He blew out a breath. “We were sitting there talking about the Kennedys then the next thing I knew, he was looking at me in this strange way. I got all flustered. He moved closer.”
I grinned and nodded. “Then he stuck his tongue down your throat.”
“Don’t be crass, Ray. ”
“You were just dry-humping a random dude on my couch, Ty. Are we going to pretend either of us is demure?”
He pinched the bridge of his nose. “So not cutesy.”
“Aw, you are gay! This is wonderful!”
He frowned at me. “What do you mean some random dude. He’s Hale’s friend.”
“Not really.”
“He’s here.”
“So are twenty other strangers. The Davenports do Thanksgiving all wrong.”
“So, you don’t know him?”
“Five minutes ago I didn’t even like him.”
“Great.”
“Ty, it’s fine. He might be a bit of a prick, but anyone with eyes can see he’s good looking. You get your jollies! You deserve this!”
“I have a girlfriend.”
“Your girlfriend looks like a lesbian.”
“Rude.”
I shrugged. “As a beard, you should be able to recognize another beard. You told me you liked her hiking boots. That’s the only thing you mentioned about her appearance. What does that say to you, Ty?”
“It says she has good taste in boots.”
“Have you kissed her.”
“Yes. I’m not a monk, Ray.”
I went to the fridge and grabbed a can of ginger ale. Popping the top, I said, “I honestly believed it was this big secret you’ve been hiding your entire life, but you still seem confused.”
“It’s called fluidity, Rayne. It’s not as simple as you think.”
“It’s also not that complicated.”
“What do you mean?”
I shrugged. “I’m straight. I know I’m straight. I like Hale, and I like having a monogamous marriage. Can you claim the same?”
He met my stare. “No.”
“Then why stress over it? Be gay or be bi or pan or whatever you want to label yourself. The label doesn’t matter, Ty. I love you any way you come. And I never want you to feel like you have to hide your true self from me.”
He reached across the counter and squeezed my hand. “Thank you.”
I smiled. “Now, we can finally talk about it.”
“What do you mean, finally ?”
“Ty, I suspected you liked guys since we were kids. You were obsessed with Jimmy Ferguson and made us go to all the football games.”
He blushed then his expression turned apologetic. “Part of me was scared—not of you or what you’d say, but of what my life would become once I admitted who I actually was. The world’s easy for straight guys. I wasn’t ready to give that up.”
“It doesn’t have to be difficult, Ty.”
“I know. But you also can’t guarantee me it’ll be easy, Rayne.”
I squeezed his hand. “No matter what it is, I’m here for you.”
“Thank you.”
I glanced at the door. “So…is Xander, like…the first guy you kissed?”
He blew out a long breath and laughed to himself. Then he met my stare. “He’s fucking hot.”
“Yeah, the assholes usually are.”
“Is he an asshole?”
I shrugged. “Hale says no, but I’m not so sure. I might have been misreading him.”
“Fuck, Ray, what am I doing?” He rubbed his forehead. “This is so unlike me. I don’t even know that guy. I don’t just go around kissing people. I went out with Carla four times before I kissed her.”
“Who’s Carla?”
“My girlfriend!”
“Oh. Right. I keep forgetting about her.”
“Tell me about it.”
We both glanced at the door, and I sighed. “We should probably go back out there.”
Tyler hesitated. “How am I supposed to act, now? I’ve never been in a situation like this before.”
I laughed. “Act normal, you weirdo. Just go out there and be cool.”
“It’s pretty bad when you’re the one giving me behavioral advice.”
“Yeah, well, I’ve had a lot of experience with awkwardness. I know how these things go. Just walk out there and act like nothing happened. Let him take the lead.”
He nodded. “Okay. I can do that. Let him take the lead.”
“Ready?” When he nodded again, I pushed the door open. Hale and Xander looked up at us and I waved up my ginger ale can. “Found my soda.”
We settled onto the couch—me beside Hale and Tyler to my left. Xander sat alone on the loveseat, his stare glued to the television .
Hale’s phone pinged, and he glanced at it, but went back to selecting the movie.
“Who’s texting you?”
“It’s Phina.”
My eyes widened. Someone was going to have to break the news to Hale’s sister.
The movie started, and Hale lowered the lights. The sexual tension completely distracted me. I kept watching to see if Xander looked at Tyler. Then Tyler would look at me as if I was doing something wrong. At this pace, he was never going to get the guy.
I decided to meddle. Stretching my arms over my head, I yawned loudly. “Wow, I’m exhausted.”
Xander looked at me, and Tyler glared. Hale fixed the blanket and pulled me closer to make me more comfortable. I waited about thirty minutes—just enough time to get the boys thoroughly invested in the movie plot—then I announced I was going to bed.
My plan went swimmingly. Tyler was staying the night, so there was no reason for Xander to leave before the movie was over. Hale was following me to bed, and I purposefully dimmed the lamps on our way up the steps.
The following morning, Tyler’s room was empty the next morning, and there was no sign of him or Xander. I had s
amed when I found Tyler making coffee in yesterday’s clothes! “Sooooo?” I sidled up to him with my empty mug as we watched Hale’s fancy machine percolate.
“I need coffee first.” He smelled like Xander.
“Oh my God, the suspense is killing me, Ty! I need details. Did you sleep with him? Was it good? Are you pregnant?”
He ignored me and stared at the kettle as the coffee slowly dripped. I tapped my foot, impatiently waiting. The second it finished brewing, I yanked the pot free and filled his mug.
“There. Talk.”
He poured in some cream and slowly stirred, hiding a smirk as he brought the cup to his mouth at a glacial pace and sipped. “Mmm. Coffee’s good.”
“I will burn you.”
“Fine.” He set down his cup and sighed. “It was incredible.”
“Did you have the sex?”
“It was better than sex. We stayed up all night talking and drinking wine.” He laughed. “I think I’m still drunk. ”
“You just…talked?”
“Well, we did other stuff, but we mostly talked. He’s a fascinating guy, Ray. And he’s cool with taking things slow.” Tyler blushed and dropped his gaze to blow into his coffee.
My eyes narrowed. “What aren’t you telling me?”
“Nothing.”
That was clearly a lie. “Did you give him a handy?”
“No.” But the flush on his cheeks said otherwise.
“Ah-ha! You got one, though, didn’t you?”
“Fine. Yes. But could you not make a thing of it? He’s coming here to take me to breakfast in an hour.”
I melted. “You guys are going on a date.”
“It’s just breakfast,” he said, his tone the complete opposite of my swoony one. “You and Hale and Elara can come.”
“No, I don’t want to intrude. Besides, we have the family photo shoot later today.”
“Cute.”
“I know. We’re adorable.” I set my mug in the sink because I wasn’t supposed to drink caffeine anyway. “You’re still able to photograph us, right.”
“Of course.”
“Okay, then I need to shower. Hale’s mom said she’d do my hair and makeup. But you two have fun, and I’ll get all the details when you come back.”
“Ray,” he called, before I left kitchen.
I paused and looked back, but he didn’t say anything. We both smiled, and I read the joy in his eyes. “I know, Ty. I know.”
He bit his lip, looking happier than I’d seen him in long time. “Yeah. Okay, go get ready for your pictures.”
I wasn’t thrilled about my clothing options so I asked Seraphina to come over and help me put something together for the shoot that afternoon.
“I really should design a maternity line,” she commented, also frustrated with my options.
“I don’t think that’s the solution. I’m only pregnant for a few more months.”
“You might have other kids.” She flipped through my closet. “Or I might have one.”
I stilled. “What are you talking about?”
“Oh, I don’t know. Things can move fast when you find the right guy. You know how it goes. You and Hale got married in a New York Minute. ”
Was she implying that Xander might be the right guy? Because he wasn’t. But I wasn’t going to be the one to break that news to Seraphina.
Elara and Hale were picture perfect by the time Tyler returned from breakfast. I, on the other hand, looked bloated and puffy and tired.
“You look great,” Ty argued. “Naomi did an amazing job with your hair and makeup.
“I’ll just hold Elara to hide my clothes.”
“Isn’t the whole point to show off the baby bump?”
“Who knows what the point is with these things? Like we’re ever just wandering through an autumn field dressed in our Sunday best.”
“Would you be in a better mood if I gave you my leftovers from breakfast?”
“Maybe. What’d you have?”
“French toast?—”
“Ooh, yes, please!” I took the box from him.
“Don’t get it on your clothes or mess up your lipstick!”
The photoshoot was adorable. It had all the autumn flare a family could ask for, and Tyler knew exactly what we wanted. Afterwards, he took his laptop to a local coffee shop where I couldn’t hover, and worked on the edits. That evening, when he showed me the proofs, I was obsessed.
“Look at this one!”
“You look fabulous ,” Tyler gushed.
I laughed. “You hook up with one guy and you’re using words like fabulous ?”
“Is it too much?”
I patted his hand. “Not at all. Don’t let anyone ever make you second guess yourself, Ty. And if some people think you’re ‘too much,’ then they just aren’t your person or your people.”
He sighed. “Is it just me, or has pregnancy made you wiser?”
“It’s not pregnancy. It’s being with someone who loves and accepts me just the way I am.”
I selected all the proofs and moved them into the cart. “Done. What do I owe you?”
“Nothing.”
“Don’t be a jerk.”
“I’m not. A jerk would make you pay.”
“Tyler, if you don’t let us pay for your work I’m not accepting a single portrait. And then I’m going to be sad, because some of those pictures of Elara are amazing and I need them on my desk at work. Do you wanna make a pregnant woman cry?”
He sighed. “You were easier to control when you were broke.”
“I know. No discounts, either. You charge us full price.”
Another formal dinner was scheduled at Remington’s that night and it would be the last of the trip. Sunday would consist of packing and goodbyes, but to be honest, I missed home, so I was okay with how things were wrapping up.
As we bundled up to drive over to Remington’s I could tell Tyler was nervous. He fussed with his hair and obsessively worried if his clothes were wrinkled.
“I should have ironed. I’m never satisfied when I steam my shirts.”
“For the love of God, you look fine, Tyler. Hale! If you don’t feed me soon I’m going to get cranky!”
Hale came down the steps empty handed. “Elara’s staying home.”
“What? Why?”
“She said shit again and she’s never going to learn if there aren’t consequences.”
That made sense. “Is she staying with my mom or yours?”
“Yours.”
“I’m sure she’ll really feel Daddy’s wrath when Grandma Penny’s giving her ice cream and letting her stay up late to watch Frozen for the thousandth time,” I mumbled.
“What?”
“I said I love you.”
“Oh, you’re ready.” I gave him a cheeky smile.
Tyler returned to the foyer in a different shirt. “I went with the brown one.”
“Great. Let’s go.” I handed Hale the keys. “Xander’s probably waiting.”
Hale stilled, so we all stopped and looked at him expectantly. Sometimes getting out of the house was so much more complicated than it needed to be.
“What are we doing?”
Regret flashed in Hale’s eyes as he looked at Tyler. “Xander left.”
Tyler’s expression fell. “What?”
“He had an early meeting tomorrow and a long flight.”
My jaw gaped. “Are you kidding me? He didn’t even say goodbye! Gah! I knew he was an asshole! What a dick!”
“Dick!” Elara’s voice echoed from the stairs as she scooched down step by step after my mom.
“Nice, Rayne.” Hale picked up Elara. “What did we say about repeating bad words?”
She immediately looked repentant. “It’s bad.”
“Good girls don’t say bad words.”
Man, did I get a different speech from him…
“This is why you aren’t coming with us tonight. I don’t want to hear that kind of language from you again, Elara. Understand?”
“Yes, Daddy.” She grabbed his nose, and he handed her off to my mother.
I looked at Tyler. “You okay?”
“Fine.” There had never been a more unconvincing fine.
I gave him a sad smile, wishing there was more I could do. “For what it’s worth, I’m sorry.”
“Yeah. Me too.” He walked out the door, which was code for not wanting to talk about it.
When we arrived at Remington’s, Tyler was somber. I could tell he was second-guessing everything, and I wanted to punch Xander in the dick for hurting my friend. How did you have a talk-all-night connection, breakfast in the morning, and then ghost without a goodbye? I was glad we weren’t doing business with him next week because I didn’t want to see him ever again.
I wasn’t even sure if Hale should work with him now. He was obviously undependable.
As predicted, Naomi took a time machine right back into Remington’s bed. It was weird, especially because no one acknowledged the weirdness.
“Are they getting back together? Don’t you think it’s a bad idea? They got a divorce for a reason.”
Hale didn’t want to talk about it. “It’s a holiday weekend, Rayne. They’re grown adults. They probably just wanted something easy to get through Thanksgiving.”
“Your father is the last person I’d call easy.”
“My mom’s not easy, either, Rayne. Let them figure it out.”
Tyler and my mother left for the airport before breakfast the following day, so we headed to Remington’s, where Marta was most likely preparing something to eat. I didn’t know what Naomi was doing, but she lived only in New Jersey, so technically, she could drive home if she missed her flight. I had a feeling Remington was going to ask her to stay.
I was just sipping my morning decaf and considering what a mostly peaceful family-ish getaway this had been when all hell broke out. Remington’s voice boomed from the study, and Hale snapped back in an irritated tone.
I took a deep breath and exhaled, looking up at the ceiling as if some supernatural force up there might send me strength. “Well,” I said to Elara, “It’s been a while since we’ve had a good ol’ family brawl.”
“Shit,” she said.
I twisted my lips. “My thoughts exactly.”
Right on cue, Marta appeared with Elara’s coat. “I thought I should take Princesa for a walk.”
“Good idea.” I lifted her from the high chair and dusted the cheerios off her clothes.
As soon as they were gone, I went to investigate the situation. Those two could fight about the most ridiculous things. It was anyone’s guess what triggered this argument. Unfortunately, I had a hunch about the cause.
“He was my target!” Remington blared. “You knew that, and you worked him over anyway.”
“I didn’t work him over. I listened to him. Something you never learned to do!”
“You listened to him,” Remington muttered disparagingly, swatting his words away. “You saw an opportunity, and you took it, knowing full well that I had my eye on his company first.”
“What if I did?”
Uh-oh. I stepped into the room hoping if they saw me they’d act more civilized toward each other.
“Are you going to tell me you would have done differently if the shoe was on the other foot?” Hale challenged.
“When are you going to let this rivalry go?”
“My disapproval of how you live your life and conduct your business is not a rivalry. It’s a direct result of your selfish behavior!”
“Everything I did, I did for my family.”
“Is that what you told yourself when you fucked over your own son, Dad. ”
“I made a mistake but your life is still better for it!”
Hale scoffed. “You’re unbelievable. The way you twist your shitty behavior so you can take credit for any positive outcomes...” He threw up his hands. “Sometimes I think even you believe your own lies.”
“It’s not a lie if it’s true.”
“And I did nothing, right?” Hale stormed. “It was all you? You hired her. You brought her into my life.”
Remington held up his hands in surrender. “Do you expect me to argue? I did hire her.”
“All right, you two, that’s enough,” I said, knowing the next accusation would likely involve Elara and that would not go over well.
“ You,” Remington said in a tone he’d never taken with me before, “betrayed me.”
I drew back. “Excuse me?”
“I had you research a potential buyout, and you told a known competitor what we had planned.”
“I told Hale, your son.”
“You told him, knowing full well he’d take the first opportunity to fuck me over!”
“Hey, take it easy,” Hale snapped.
“Remington, I did no such thing.”
“Did you tell him about Xander Landry?”
“Yes, but only because we talk about our day?— ”
“And did you share that I wanted to buy out his company?”
“I mentioned that his company was in trouble?—”
“Then you betrayed me!”
The lash of his temper was so sharp tears pricked my eyes.
“Hey! Take it down a notch,” Hale growled, coming to stand protectively in front of me. “Xander was at the dinner party on Wednesday night. I approached him after he approached Rayne. This had nothing to do with you.”
“This is my house!” Remington bellowed, slamming his fist on the desk. “It has everything to do with me!”
“Remington, settle down?—”
“Do not tell me to settle down, Meyers!”
I drew back again, shocked he would speak to me that way. My chin trembled as I stared at his red face. My main concern was for his heart and his blood pressure. “Don’t yell at me.”
He shook his head and dropped his volume. “I always knew this would happen.”
My vision blurred. “What are you talking about? ”
“Your interests are divided. I can’t trust you.”
I gaped at him. I would have been less shocked if he’d slapped me. “Remington, stop. You’re being ridiculous.”
“Ridiculous? That buyout would have made this family millions, but you and your husband?—”
“Enough!” Hale stormed. “Rayne had nothing to do with my actions. I approached Xander. I heard him out, and he and I came to an understanding. Rayne wasn’t even there. She’s blameless in this.”
A tear fell past my lashes as I stared at Remington in shock. “How could you?” I rasped. My chin trembled, but I said what I needed to say. “Is that what you honestly believe, Remington? That you can’t trust me?”
He knocked a box of tissues forward with his knuckles and turned away from me. “Pull yourself together, Meyers.”
“No, you look at me and answer me. Is that what you believe?”
Remington slowly met my stare but didn’t have the guts to answer. Hale stood protectively by my side but didn’t interrupt.
I took a step closer to his desk. “I would never knowingly betray you or do anything to hurt you, Remington. I have put you before my husband and child more times than I can count. The fact that you can make such an accusation—” My throat closed around my words, and my heart seemed to shake in my chest. “I just can’t believe you.”
“It’s okay, baby.” Hale touched my back when I could barely get the words past the lump in my throat. “You don’t have to do this.”
“No, it’s not okay.” I straightened my spine and lifted my chin. “Remington, I quit.”