24. A-B-C-D-E-F-You
A-B-C-D-E-F-You
B y the time March rolled in, I was roughly the size of a planet. My cravings consisted of antacids, key lime popsicles, and the saltiest olives I could find. My weight was not to be discussed—at least not by anyone who valued their life.
I’d found the perfect gem for my mom, about twenty minutes from our house, in the center of the iconic Old Town. She loved to people-watch and talk to strangers, so this seemed like the perfect place. It was quaint and buttercream yellow, with a balcony on the front and a big porch for sitting and taking in the tourists.
The house also had a super cute attic loft. My plan was to get my mother settled then convince her to rent the loft to Tyler. Of course, I’d also have to convince him to uproot his entire life, find a new job, and move to the other side of the country, but those were minor details.
We had the property completely renovated, inspected, and furnished without my mom’s knowledge. She was set to fly out this Friday and stay until the baby was born. Little did she know that she could now stay as long as she liked.
“Don’t forget you have your ultrasound today.” Hale placed a plate of toast in front of me.
“I know. You’re picking me up at two, right?”
“Yes.” He sipped his coffee. “Andrew has Elara for the day, and I have a meeting with Xander in Miami.”
“Miami? He can’t fly out to meet you here?”
“I suppose he could, but I offered.”
I buttered my toast with obvious disapproval. “Seems to me that would be the thoughtful thing to do since you have a pregnant wife at home who could pop at any minute, and Xander’s perpetually single and living a less complicated life on account of being a prick.”
“You’re not due for three weeks, Rayne.”
“Says you. I could blow at any second, Hale.” I took a bite of my toast. “Which reminds me. We have to book Willow’s flight.”
“Are we still doing that?”
“Of course, we’re still doing that. I want her here for the birth.”
“Reiki is not a calculated science. This woman has no experience with childbirth, yet you act as though she’s a midwife.”
“She’s my spiritual doula, Hale. Are you trying to make me cry?”
“How long are we putting her up?”
Considering that I often performed like a prized pedigree for formal affairs that helped Hale’s business connections, I didn’t see this as a huge ask. Not to mention that I had to stomach Xander’s presence more than a few times since he and Hale started collaborating on projects. The man gave me agita worse than Marta’s spiciest birria.
“I don’t know, Hale. How long will I have to smile and be nice to your friend who F-U-C-K’d over my friend?”
We had started spelling out profanities to stop Elara from repeating bad words. It didn’t matter that Elara was already out with Andrew. We got in the habit of doing it so much that we did it whether she was there or not.
“This again? You promised to keep an open mind.”
“Keeping an open mind and liking someone are two different things.”
“He didn’t F-U-C-K over your friend. They had a one-night stand. Tyler’s an adult. It happens.”
“Tyler’s in a delicate state! He just figured out he likes D-I-C-K, and boys are complicated. You wouldn’t understand what it is like to date one. Lucky for you, I’m incredibly easy when it comes to partners.”
“You’re right, I wouldn’t.” He stood and dumped his coffee into the sink. I hadn’t had caffeine in months, so it felt a little like showing off.
“You’re just P-I-S-S-Y because I don’t like your friend.”
“No, I’m P-I-S-S-Y for my own reasons.”
I stilled then wiped the breadcrumbs from my lips. “Wait, you’re really P-I-S-S-Y?”
He rolled his neck to release the tension in his shoulders. “No. I’m fine. Forget I said anything.”
“Hale.”
“Rayne,” he held up his hands in a calming gesture. “I misspoke. Let’s move on.”
I scoffed. “You’re totally lying right now. If you’re upset with me, say so.”
Yes, I was pregnant and delicate and cried at the drop of a hat. But we never kept secrets from each other. If Hale was mad at me, I wanted to know why.
He sighed. “It’s just frustrating when you're more concerned about your friend’s S-E-X-L-I-F-E than ours.”
“No, I’m not. I care about your D-I-C-K just as much as I care about Tyler’s.”
His lips formed a straight line. “Not the answer I want, Rayne.”
“Well, what do you want?”
“I don’t know. You’re pregnant, and I want you to be comfortable, but it’s been weeks, Rayne. I’m allowed to be a little on edge.”
I tried to remember the last time we had sex. I couldn’t. My nightlife had been consumed by pillow propping, snacks, and guilty pleasure shows. Hale was right. My husband’s dick was a thing of the past.
“Well…it’s a little hard.” I stood with a groan and waddled to the sink, my belly now ha rd as a rock and hanging over the waistband of my pajama pants.
“Tell me about it.”
My gaze snapped to his, and he lifted a brow.
“Oh, please. Like you really want to F-U-C-K this.”
He leaned across the counter, pressing his weight into his fists as he growled through clenched teeth. “I not only want to F-U-C-K you, I want to eat your P-U-S-S-Y and F-U-C-K that filthy M-O-U-T-H of yours, too.”
I blinked at him, shocked. Nothing about my body felt remotely sexy at the moment. I hadn’t even shaved my legs in weeks. He had to be lying. “You don’t have to spell the non-dirty words, Hale.”
“Well, I’m frustrated!”
Maybe he wasn’t lying. “You think I’m not H-O-R-N-Y? I have needs too, you know! But I get winded pulling up my pants these days, and I have to pee every ten minutes, so it’s not like investing all this sexual energy somewhere else. You act as if I’m plotting some sort of revenge to neglect you. Look at me!” I held out my arms, my swollen boobs looking like two Goodyear blimps hiding under a hanky. “If anything, I’m saving you from myself.”
“Saving me?”
I sniffed. “Yes. I’m harboring a human being in my belly, and I wasn’t the most coordinated person to start. I’d probably end up hurting you, because my weight is…” My voice broke and I looked away.
“Sweetheart, don’t cry. This is why I didn’t want to say anything.”
“I’m not crying because of this. I’m crying because…” I wiped my nose. “Gah! Do I need a reason? This is just what I do now! I cry all the time! So fucking sexy, right?” I wailed.
“Hey.” He pulled me into a hug and I wiped my nose on his shirt. “I know your body’s changing, but you’re still my little Rayne. You could never crush me, baby. And, whether you believe me or not, I will always find you sexy.”
“Really? Even knowing that I sometimes pee my pants a little when I sneeze?”
He laughed. “Even then.”
I blotted my eyes. “Well…then I guess we can have sex.”
“It’s fine, Rayne. I can wait.”
“No. I want you to be happy. Your penis is my priority. I’m sorry I’ve been a slacker.”
He pinched the bridge of his nose and chuckled. “My dick is not your job, Rayne.”
“Yes, it is. I’m your wife and I want you to be satisfied. Tell me what you want and I’ll do it.”
He arched a brow. “You mean it?”
I nodded. “I miss it too.”
“Okay.” He checked his watch. “I have to send a quick email. Go upstairs and take off your clothes. I’ll meet you up there in five minutes.”
I bit my lip. He wanted naked sex? In broad daylight?
“You’re not moving.”
“I’m nine months pregnant! How fast do you think I can move?” I shuffled to the steps, hand on my stomach as I warned little Elodie or Gideon, “Mommy and Daddy are going to have some grown-up time. Shut your eyes and cover your ears.”
I figured it was easiest to just take a shower. I shaved one leg before I lost interest. When Hale came upstairs, I was sitting on the bed in a towel, trying to remember what I was supposed to do.
“You okay? ”
“Yeah, just having a moment of pregnancy brain.
He crossed the room and traced a finger down my cheek. “Did you change your mind?”
“No. But I think I lost my mojo.”
He gave a silent laugh. “No, you didn’t.” He pulled my hand to the bulge in his pants. “Feel that, Rayne. That’s how much I want to fuck you. Your mojo’s just fine.”
I looked down at my boobs and stomach then I held out my hands in defeat. “Well, here I am. Have at it.”
It wasn’t that I didn’t want to have sex with him. I did. Desperately. But it had been months since I saw my feet, I was too fat to shave, and my agility had disintegrated to that of a tug boat, and I was pretty sure I had to burp or fart, or maybe the baby was just sitting on a vital organ.
“I can see I have my work cut out for me.” Hale pointed to the bed and removed his suit jacket. “Lie down.”
I fell back on the mattress like a starfish. “Oh, hold on. Little Clementine’s right on my bladder.”
“I thought it was Kiernan.”
“That name’s so yesterday.” I shifted. “ Oomph. That’s no good either. I need a pillow.”
Hale grabbed several pillows and hoisted me up, stuffing one behind my back and one under my knees. “Better.”
“A little.” I caught my breath.
He tugged my towel open and smiled. It amazed me that he could see me like this and still want me.
“You’re beautiful.”
“Don’t stretch it?—”
“Hey.” He caught my jaw and forced me to look him in the eye. “You’re beautiful. ”
I blushed. Maybe I was being a little hard on myself. I reached for his hip. “Thank you.”
He bent forward and kissed me slowly, his hands gently roving over my curves and reminding me how good his touch felt. He climbed onto the bed, careful not to crush me, and pulled my hand to his cock. My fingers curled around his thick length and stroked slowly as he kissed my neck.
“Careful with that thing,” I warned. “You don’t want to poke poor little Alaric or Aurelia in the eye.”
“That’s not possible.” He massaged my breasts softly. “Does it hurt when I touch you here? ”
I moaned and shut my eyes. “No, actually, it feels really nice.”
He kissed my neck and shoulders, trailing his touch over my belly until I anxiously parted my thighs for him. I was ready to get to the good stuff. His stroking fingers teased my folds until I was writhing and begging for more.
Hale pulled me to the edge of the bed and dropped to his knees. I tried to cover myself but he pulled my hand away.
“Sorry.”
“What are you sorry for?”
“I haven’t…groomed down there in a while.”
“Knock it off.” His mouth closed over my clit and I gasped as he pressed his fingers inside of me. The first stroke of his tongue had me fisting the sheets and soon enough I was panting and gasping his name. “Hale…”
“I’m right here, baby. Let me take care of you.”
I sobbed with relief as he drove me to climax. “I really missed sex.”
He kissed my inner thigh and dragged his tongue slowly through my slit where his fingers teased. “We haven’t gotten to the sex yet.”
That was true. On account of little Shiloh or Skye weighing me down, I really couldn’t do much more than lay there. But so far that was working out just fine.
“Don’t fight it,” he said, curving his touch to reach that magical spot. “I know you’re good for one more.”
I didn’t doubt it. As long as he kept touching me the way he was now, there would be no stopping it. I cried out as he kissed my clit as his fingers delved deep. I cupped my breasts, massaging slowly as my muscles tightened and my legs trembled.
“Mmm, that’s a good girl.” With one final lick, he slowly rose. “I think, on your side would be best.”
He helped me reposition as he aligned his body with mine. It wasn’t the most ergonomic position, but he was able to make it work. Luckily, Hale had the right tools to make just about anything work. But I couldn’t say I loved the position, two minutes later we were trying something else.
And then something else. And then something else. It seemed nothing was comfortable when we had a beach ball separating us.
“Maybe this way’s better.” I draped my knee over his thigh so our bodies formed a sort of V on the bed.
He thrust a few times and I frowned. “How’s that feel?”
“Meh.”
“What’s wrong with doggy style?”
“I don’t think it’s a good idea to have my stomach down. We could crush little Banks or Clover.”
“Sometimes I wonder how many babies you have in there with all these names.”
“Really, Hale? A reference to me possibly carrying twins or quintuplets? Now?”
“No, no, no. That had nothing to do with your body.” He panicked then took a calming breath. “Never mind. How about missionary?”
I flopped to my back. “Try.”
He repositioned himself and pressed forward. “And we’re not naming my son Banks.”
I couldn’t meet his eyes. My boobs were suffocating me and the weight of my stomach left me winded. “Maybe we should just wait?—”
“No, we’re figuring this out.”
“My belly’s in the way, Hale. I’m too big.”
“Your belly’s a part of you, Rayne.”
“Well, my boobs look gross like this. I don’t like it.”
He withdrew and rubbed his jaw. “Try getting on top.”
“I’ll crush you.”
“Knock it off.” He moved to his back and guided me over him, but I hesitated. “Go ahead.” He helped me seat myself. “See, you fit perfectly.” His hands cupped my stomach as he slowly flexed his hips.
Okay, this way was actually pretty good. “Don’t look at me.”
“Are you kidding? I love looking at you. You’re gorgeous.”
“Err,” I growled, because I didn’t feel gorgeous.
“Don’t growl at me. You’re a fucking goddess, Rayne.”
A goddess? That was a new one. And I kind of liked where this was going. “Tell me more.”
“You’re radiating life. Knowing you’re carrying my child in there…It’s a total fucking turn-on.”
“Ooh, I’m picking up on some big daddy energy.” I rocked my hips as he held my hands.
“Fucking right I got big daddy energy. That’s my baby in there.” He bucked his hips and I gasped. “And you’re my sexy little wife.”
“Ha. Not really little anymore.”
“To me you are. You’re fucking adorable, Rayne. When I see you wobbling around, I get an instant hard-on. The other day, when you were flopping around trying to find the remote, I nearly came in my pants.”
“You saw that?” I snicked my tongue against my teeth. “You could have helped me.”
“No way. It was like live wife-porn. I think I’ve been hard for you ever since.”
I laughed and clenched around him. “I can tell.”
He groaned. “And when you walk around in those little shorts with the waistband rolled down and your belly sticking out… God, I just want to bend you over and fuck you into next week.”
“All right, take it easy.”
“I’m serious. Your body is a thing of raw beauty. I look at you, and I’m awed by every inch of you.”
“Hale, if you wanted a blowjob, there are easier ways to get one.”
He cupped the back of my neck and pulled me down for a kiss. “ I’m not trying to get a blowjob, baby. I’m just trying to get through to you. I love you—every single part of you. I don’t care about your size or how you dress. I just want to be close to you.”
And those were the magic words I needed to hear. Brick by brick, he broke my inhibitions down as he always did. Sex might be a physical act, but sometimes it was more emotional than anything else. Hale loved me, and I loved him. I knew then that we could go through anything together, including the unflattering beauty of childbirth.
We were ready.