10. Chapter 10
Chapter 10
J esse woke before his alarm. His bedroom was still and dark, the faintest glow of early morning seeping in through the window. His body ached with exhaustion, but his mind was sharp, wide awake, locked onto the only thing that mattered.
She was in his arms, tucked against his chest like she belonged there. She’d never left.
Jesse didn’t move. Didn’t breathe too deep. Just held her, feeling the slow, steady rhythm of her breaths against his skin, the way she fit against him so effortlessly. She smelled like something light and sweet, citrus and vanilla, with the faintest trace of stage smoke clinging to her hair. The scent filled his lungs, curling around something deep in his chest, something that had been starved for too long.
His arm was draped over her waist, his fingers resting at the dip of her spine. Bare skin under his hand. Soft. Warm. He let his thumb move, the slightest stroke up and down, barely there. The sheets were tangled between them, thin fabric doing nothing to separate her from him, not really. She shifted in her sleep, pressing closer, her body molding to his like she knew him even in dreams.
Jesse swallowed hard.
God, she was real.
After all this time, all the distance, all the fucking wreckage they had left behind them—she was here. In his bed. Wrapped up in him.
And for the first time in years, Jesse didn’t feel a ball of dread in his stomach. He didn’t feel like his world was on tilt. He just felt… like himself.
He didn’t rush the moment.
Didn’t spiral toward what came next.
He just held her.
Fifteen minutes passed like that. Silent. Still. Just the sound of her breathing, the occasional shift of her body, the distant hum of the refrigerator.
Then, he glanced at his watch. 4:15 a.m. He had to head out soon. So, he leaned in, pressing his lips to her temple. A soft, lingering kiss, barely there.
Hayley sighed, shifting slightly, but didn’t wake.
Jesse smirked against her skin. Not yet.
He kissed lower, his lips trailing along the curve of her cheek, the edge of her jaw. The hand at her waist slid upward, fingertips grazing along the smooth plane of her stomach, the curve of her ribs until he felt the weight of her breasts.
She said something unintelligible, barely a breath of sound, shifting just a little, arching instinctively into his touch.
Jesse dragged his mouth lower, let his teeth scrape lightly against the delicate skin just below her ear.
She shivered.
Perfect.
“Morning, Rockstar,” he said, his voice rough from sleep.
Hayley made a soft, breathy sound, stretching against him, her body pressing into his in a way that made his pulse pound. Her eyes were still closed, lips parted slightly, a sleepy, blissed-out expression on her face.
And fuck, he wanted her.
Wanted her slow. Wanted her wrecked. Wanted to keep her here, like this, forever.
Her breath hitched as his hand smoothed down her hip, fingers tightening, pulling her even closer.
He kissed her again, deeper this time, hotter, more deliberate.
And just like that, she was waking up for him.
Just in time.
Jesse knew he had maybe twenty minutes left.
Twenty fucking minutes before he had to pull away, put on his gear, walk out that door, and disappear into a world where she didn’t exist.
And when that happened, he needed her to remember.
To feel him in her bones, under her skin, where she couldn’t shake him.
Hayley was still soft and warm against him, blinking up at him with that hazy, sleepy expression, her lips still swollen from his mouth. She was always so slow to wake, all delicate limbs and messy auburn hair, like she was meant to be kept in bed forever, tangled up with him.
Jesse wasn’t gentle when he kissed her again.
Didn’t hold back.
His fingers curled in her hair as he tilted her head, taking her mouth like he meant it, like he needed it, like he wasn’t about to spend weeks in the dark, in the heat, in the fucking jungle, without the taste of her.
She gasped against his lips, and that sound alone sent a deep, consuming hunger ripping through his chest. He bit at her lower lip, dragged his teeth down the column of her throat, pressing her back against the mattress.
Hayley arched for him instantly.
God, she was so fucking responsive.
She always had been, always met him exactly where he was, the perfect mix of sweet and filthy, soft and unbreakable.
Jesse kissed his way down, slow, dirty, deliberate. His mouth moved over her throat, the delicate line of her collarbone, his tongue dragging against the heat of her pulse.
Hayley whimpered, her fingers clutching at his arms, nails sinking in, urging him lower.
He smirked against her skin.
He loved her like this—needy, desperate, willing to let him wreck her.
Because Hayley Fox might have been a fucking rockstar, but when she was under him? She was his.
And she needed to know it.
His mouth found her breast, her nipple, teeth scraping over sensitive skin, sucking hard enough to leave a mark. She moaned, arching into his mouth, body already trembling.
Jesse groaned against her, his cock aching at the way she responded.
She had always been so fucking perfect for him.
Because Hayley loved the way he took control.
Loved the way he used his hands, his mouth, his fucking everything to ruin her.
She wanted to be worshipped and wrecked in the same breath.
And Jesse?
Jesse lived for that shit.
He slid lower, his mouth dragging down her stomach, tongue dipping into every soft curve, every sensitive spot that made her gasp, her thighs already parting in anticipation.
She was shaking.
Fucking shaking.
And that was exactly how he wanted her.
He glanced up, catching the way she was staring down at him, lips parted, cheeks flushed, chest rising and falling in uneven breaths.
“Jesse…” she whispered.
He smirked, nipping at the soft skin of her hip. “I want you to think about this, Hayley.”
Her brows furrowed. “What?”
He pushed her legs open, settling his mouth between them. His tongue flicked against her exactly where she wanted him most. Her clit was still too damn sensitive from hours ago, but he didn’t care.
She let out a wrecked little sound, her head tipping back.
Jesse groaned, gripping her thighs, keeping her pussy open for him. “This.” He kissed her again on her clit, deeper, wetter, messier. “I want you to think about this when you’re on the other side of the world. On stage. In bed. Alone.”
Her fingers fisted in his hair, riding against his mouth.
Like she could stop him from leaving.
Like she could keep him here—mouth on her pussy.
Jesse licked her clit slow, savoring, memorizing the taste of her.
Then he pulled back, locking eyes with her.
“I want you to remember who you belong to.”
Jesse was a selfish bastard when it came to her.
He wanted to own every breath, every sound, every fucking tremor that ran through her body. He wanted to carve himself into her skin so deep she’d still feel him when she was halfway across the world. He gripped her hips so fucking tight that there would be bruises.
Jesse groaned low, a dark, hungry sound, hands keeping her where he wanted her. Pinned. Open. Bare to him. His mouth lowered, slow, torturous. His tongue flicked against her, barely a taste.
Her breath hitched, fingers sinking into his hair, her nails sharp against his scalp. That alone sent a bolt of heat straight to his cock, the way she reacted, the way she knew exactly what she wanted but still let him take control.
She whimpered, already restless beneath him.
Good.
He wanted her on edge.
Jesse smirked against her skin, nipping at the sensitive inside of her thigh. “You still with me, Fox?”
She made a sound between a gasp and a frustrated little growl, her fingers tightening in his hair.
“Jesse, don’t—”
He didn’t let her finish.
His mouth covered her completely, tongue dragging against the heat of her, licking her open, slow and filthy. His tongue moved in slow, teasing strokes, pressing, tasting, learning exactly where she needed him.
Hayley choked on his name.
Her body arched, her head tipping back, her hands sliding from his hair to clutch at the sheets. She was already falling apart. She didn’t know it yet, but this was his way of telling her everything he couldn’t say.
His mouth was fire and reverence, lips dragging over her clit, branding her with his tongue, his teeth, the heat of his breath. She was already shaking beneath him, her thighs tense against his shoulders, her hips arching as if she was trying to pull him closer. Like she needed him there as much as he needed to be there.
He flattened his tongue, licking one slow, deep stroke, groaning against her when she cried out, her whole body tensing. He groaned, his cock aching with how fucking perfect she sounded. That was what he needed. That sound. That reaction. Proof that she was his.
She tasted fucking sinful, hot and sweet on his tongue, and Jesse ate her faster and faster—like he was starving. Her nails scraped against his scalp. He groaned against her pussy, feeling her thighs start to tremble, feeling her body tightening, ready to break.
“Come for me, Fox.”
And she shattered.
Her back arched off the bed, her entire body shaking as pleasure ripped through her. Jesse didn’t stop. He held her through it, feeling every pulse, every tremor, dragging out every last second of her climax with his tongue, his mouth, his fingers gripping her thighs.
Fucking wrecked.
Exactly how he wanted her.
As she came down, breathless, twitching beneath him, Jesse pressed one last, lingering kiss between her thighs.
Then, with a slow, satisfied smirk, he pulled back, crawling up her body, bracing himself over her.
Hayley was still catching her breath, her lips parted, eyes dark and glazed, cheeks flushed, the picture of pure, wrecked perfection.
Jesse’s fingers traced her jaw.
“Don’t forget this,” he said. “Don’t forget me.”
And then, before she could answer, before she could say anything at all, he kissed her deep, dirty, claiming her completely.
Jesse knew he had minutes left. He could already feel the time slipping away, the reality of his deployment tightening around his ribs like a vise. But when he moved to pull away, Hayley’s fingers curled around his wrist, tugging him back.
He barely had time to react before she was pushing him down. She was on him, straddling his hips, her thighs pressing tight against his sides.
His breath stalled.
Fuck.
She was still flushed, her skin dewy from the heat between them, her hair a wild mess down her back. Her lips were still swollen from his, her pupils dark and blown wide. She was bare, stunning, untouchable—but touching him like she had every right.
Jesse’s hands instinctively found her hips, fingers digging into the soft curve of her waist.
“Hayley—”
She leaned down and kissed him before he could say another word. Hard. Deep. Fierce.
Jesse groaned against her mouth, his grip tightening as she shifted over him, taking the length of his aching cock into her soaked pussy. His body was a live wire, every muscle drawn tight, every part of him desperate for her.
This was them.
Always had been.
No rules, no promises. Just wanting, needing, taking.
But this time, it felt different.
Maybe that’s why she kissed him harder, why she rolled her hips over him, faster, needy, her nails scraping lightly down his ribs.
Jesse’s head tipped back against the pillows, his breath ragged.
“Hayley,” he warned, his fingers tightening on her. “You know I’m not gonna last if you keep doing that.”
Her lips curved against his jaw.
“Then don’t,” she whispered.
And then she was riding him hard, taking every inch of his fucking cock inside her.
Jesse cursed sharply, his grip turning bruising as he filled her pussy, stretched her, felt her clench tight around him.
“Fucking hell,” he ground out, his voice rough, broken. His eyes dragged over her, taking in the way her breath hitched, the way she bit her lip, the way her fingers pressed against his chest for balance.
She was always so fucking perfect.
His hands moved up her thighs, over her waist, up to cup her breasts, his thumbs brushing over her nipples as she rocked over him.
It was too much, too good.
She moaned, her movements turning frantic, her hands gripping his arms, her body moving like she was chasing something she didn’t even know she needed.
Jesse lost it.
He flipped them suddenly, pinning her beneath him, hips driving forward, thrusting deep and hard, chasing his own unraveling.
Hayley gasped, her fingers clutching at his back, her nails digging in, her head tilting back as she let him take, take, take. He fucked her harder, harder. Again and again. His mouth moved over her throat, biting, sucking, marking her.
This wasn’t just about control.
This was about leaving a fucking piece of himself with her.
Her name ripped from his throat as he came, hard and shuddering, buried deep inside her, his entire body trembling.
Hayley held onto him, her fingers stroking through his hair, her lips pressing soft, lingering kisses against his temple as his body slowly, finally, stopped shaking.
For a long moment, they just breathed.
Jesse stayed inside her, over her, surrounded by her.
Then, reality crept back in.
She felt it, too.
He could see it in her eyes when he finally lifted his head, the way her gaze searched his like she was looking for something solid, something safe.
But Jesse had never been that for her.
And they both knew it.
The weight of everything they weren’t settled between them.
Hayley swallowed. “Jesse…”
He exhaled slowly, smoothing her hair back, pressing one last kiss against her forehead.
Then, with every ounce of strength he had left, he forced himself to pull away.
Because this was the problem.
This was always the problem.
They could have this. The heat, the desperation, the raw fucking intensity.
But they had never been able to have anything else.
And Jesse wasn’t sure if they ever could.
Jesse moved fast.
Five minutes now. That was all he had left.
He was out of bed and into the bathroom before his body could argue, before his mind could trick him into staying just a little longer.
The water was scalding, a shock to his system, but it didn’t burn as much as the thought of leaving her. He scrubbed a hand through his hair, forcing himself into the present, into the motions.
Soap. Rinse. Done.
He stepped out, grabbing a towel, running his hands over his face. His jaw was tight. His stomach knotted.
No time. No time to feel any of it.
Jesse brushed his teeth in quick, efficient strokes, barely looking at himself in the mirror. What was the point? He already knew what he’d see. Golden eyes, dark circles, a man too fucking good at leaving things behind.
And now, he had to leave her.
The thought clawed at his ribs.
He yanked on his clothes, the familiarity of his gear snapping him into focus. Tactical pants. Shirt. Boots. He shrugged into his vest, checked his watch.
Two minutes left.
Jesse turned back toward the bed.
And there she was.
Hayley.
Still tangled in the sheets, barely awake, her hair spilling over the pillows, her body warm and soft and glowing in the dim morning light. She blinked up at him, bleary-eyed and quiet, like she didn’t know how to say goodbye either.
Jesse sat on the edge of the bed.
He leaned down, brushing his lips against hers, once, twice, just breathing her in.
“I have to go,” he said against her mouth.
She exhaled a slow, shaky breath.
“I know.”
Jesse clenched his jaw, forcing down every instinct telling him to stay, to crawl back into that bed and pull her against him until neither of them had to think about anything but each other.
Instead, he pulled her hand into his and pressed something cool, metallic, familiar into her palm.
Her fingers curled around it.
She looked down.
Jesse’s key.
The key to his apartment.
Her gaze snapped back up to his, stunned, questioning, hopeful.
Jesse swallowed hard. “I’ll find a way to connect with you,” he said. “I don’t know how. Personal phone stays here.” His thumb traced the back of her hand. “But I’ll find a way.”
Hayley bit her lip, her fingers tightening around the key. “Jesse…”
His chest ached.
“I need you to wait for me,” he said, his voice low, serious. “Just… wait.”
She inhaled sharply, searching his face, looking for something she didn’t know how to ask for.
And then, finally—she nodded.
His breath left him in a rush.
Jesse kissed her one last time, deep and slow and memorizing, like he was leaving a piece of himself with her.
Then he pulled away.
And before he could make the mistake of looking back—
He was out the door.