18. Archer
Chapter 18
Archer
Archer abandoned his earbuds in his pursuit to get the fuck out of the cabin.
His sneakers slapped against pavement as he increased the pace, the sound of his harsh breathing and the pounding in his chest the only distraction he had on his run.
That, and the sound of Tea’s whimpering as he tasted her skin, the feel of her thighs clenching against his.
Fuck.
He slowed and placed his hands on his knees, breathing hard.
What the hell was he thinking, kissing her like that?
She looked so vulnerable and scared, and his immediate reaction was to protect her, then kiss her senseless?
He hadn’t even thought of the repercussions.
Seeing her every morning, like a ruffled kitten with that unruly hair and sleep in her eyes, he felt his careful boundaries slowly unfurl at the seams. He didn’t want to wait for her in the kitchen every morning.
He wanted to see her first thing when he opened his eyes.
Curl his body around hers and bury his face in her hair.
“No,” he reminded himself.
“No, no, no .”
He thought about the last time he opened himself up to her, how horrible it was, how she made him feel.
It was the last night of summer, before he was set to leave for the University of Minnesota.
They were all gathered in the basement of Cabin F when it was owned by Quentin’s parents, playing truth or dare.
He’d sat next to Tea that night, their bodies only a couple of inches apart.
They did that a lot—sit close, but never touch.
Like they were on the brink of something new, both of them too scared to make the first move.
Riley finished confessing a “truth” about why she liked Austin so much.
“His hair,” she confessed.
Then she turned to Tea.
“Okay, sweetie pie, truth or dare?”
Tea tucked her knees close.
“Truth.”
Her lips curled into an evil smile.
“Who’s your crush?”
Archer’s chest tightened.
He really wanted to look at her, but he didn’t want to be so obvious.
Instead, he sat there and held his breath.
“Um, never mind. I choose dare,” Tea replied.
That smile grew bigger.
“Great. Kiss your crush.”
Archer glared at Riley, who was no longer being nonchalant about the whole thing.
She stared right back at him, like she was doing him a goddamn favor.
It’s not supposed to be like this.
He looked in his periphery to see what Tea would do.
She didn’t do anything except stand and run up the stairs.
When the door slammed, Archer stood and pointed at Riley.
“Fuck you.”
“Hey, watch your tongue around my girlfriend,” Austin snapped.
He gave Austin a death glare.
“Maybe I would if your girlfriend minded her own damn business.”
“Oh come on , Archer. I was setting you up!” Riley pleaded.
“You clearly need the nudge, you’re horrible at making the move.”
He puffed his chest. Then he was off, running up the stairs after Tea.
It was pitch-black outside, the moon the only light glistening over Silver Lake.
He found her moments later, curled up underneath a pine tree, tears in her eyes.
He knelt in front of her.
“Hey, what’s wrong?”
She wiped her nose with the back of her hand.
“Nothing.”
“I’m sorry Riley pressured you. That was mean.”
She shook her head.
“I’m not crying about that.”
At the time, Archer had no idea she was crying about her father, about the news that’d dropped on her earlier that night.
Gareth Richards had stage four testicular cancer.
He only had weeks to live.
Instead, he was an eighteen-year-old with raging hormones, and the most beautiful girl in the world sat crying in front of him.
He lifted her to her feet and hugged her tight, telling her that whatever it was, he was there for her.
“You can tell me what’s wrong, Tea. Best friends forever, remember?”
She tilted her head back and gave him a watery, apologetic smile.
“Even if your best friend has a secret crush on you?”
Every single part of his body burned .
“R-really?”
“I would have kissed my crush, but down there didn’t seem like the right—”
Archer lunged for her, fusing his mouth to hers.
She kissed him back with the same intensity.
They were terrible at it.
Archer wasn’t sure what to do with his hands or his tongue.
Tea was shaking with nerves, her fingers fumbling as she pulled on his sweatshirt.
She took a couple of steps back, deeper into the woods, and he followed.
She leaned against a tree and pulled him toward her.
He placed a hand on the trunk, and the feel of all of him pressed against her made his vision go black.
He skimmed his free hand inside her tank top and up her belly.
She didn’t stop him as he tucked it inside her bra.
She moaned, and he practically lost himself to the sound of it.
Years of tension finally snapped, and they couldn’t get enough of one another.
They went from zero to sixty in a matter of minutes.
She undid his jeans and slid a hand inside his briefs, grabbing for him.
He broke his lips from hers.
“Tea, crap. Is this too fast? Should we—”
She squeezed and he groaned, dipping his face into her neck.
“I’ll stop if you want me to,” she whispered.
“No, I absolutely don’t want you to stop. I-I just don’t know what I’m doing.”
“Me neither,” she confessed.
“You’re awfully good at that for not knowing what you’re doing.” He released his hands and cupped her face.
“Tea, are you sure?”
Her eyes were on his lips.
At the time, he was so lost in her he couldn’t see what was plainly on her face: She was hurting.
She wanted to forget for a little while.
And Archer handed it to her far too easily.
“Yes,” she whispered.
“I’m on birth control.”
Moments later, clothes abandoned and deep in the woods, Archer took her first, and she took his.
They dressed in silence afterward.
She wouldn’t look him in the eye.
Archer glided the strap of her tank top to the side and kissed her bare shoulder.
“Everything okay?”
She stepped out of his grip.
“That was a mistake.”
His face darkened.
“What do you mean that was a mistake? I thought you said you wanted it.”
She hesitated, then shook her head, backing away from him.
Archer felt his stomach plummet.
“Wh-what is going on?”
“We shouldn’t have done that.” She still wouldn’t look him in the eye.
“It was mistake.”
“ Why ? Why do you keep saying that?”
Tears streamed down her cheeks again.
“Because you are my best friend. We’re moving way too fast and I feel like I just ruined everything.”
“ Tea .” He attempted to reach for her, but she stepped back.
Then stepped back again.
He stilled, his skin prickly from the cold—and the distance between them.
He held up his hands.
“How could you have ruined everything? We both wanted this, remember?”
“I don’t think I actually want this,” she whispered.
He rubbed his face, ignoring the pinch in his nose and cheeks.
He wanted to cry, but he wouldn’t let himself in front of her.
He didn’t want her to experience how broken she was making him feel.
“I need some time,” she continued.
Then she ran.
Archer had spent too many moments since that night wondering if he should have run after her, forced her to talk about what was really going on.
But instead, he stood there, broken hearted, wondering what the fuck he did to ruin it between them so badly.
The Richards left unexpectedly the next morning.
And out of respect, he gave her the space she wanted.
He waited for her to reach out.
She never did.
A truck honked behind him, bringing him back to reality.
Archer stepped to the side of the road and sat in the grass, dropping his head in his hands.
It was a mistake. He’d asked her if she felt that way still, right before he kissed her earlier.
Practically begged her to say it again.
To remind him that he shouldn’t go down that road.
But she wouldn’t say it.
That would be lying.
He rubbed his temples.
Even after years of telling himself he would never again give Tea Richards his heart, in less than two months, he’d fallen right back into it.
He stood up and wiped the sweat on his forehead with the bottom of his shirt.
Kiss or not, Tea still planned on leaving at the end of the summer.
Leaving Wild Pines, and leaving him.
There was no need to do this to himself all over again.
Not when he had a community of people he needed to look after.
Not when he had his own plans and dreams he needed to focus on.
He waited for his breathing to even out, then continued at his usual pace.
Tea was sitting on the porch when he returned, knees tucked close.
He made it back to Wild Pines a while ago, but went for a walk to cool down and clear his head.
He would handle this calmly.
He would not let his emotions get in the way.
She lifted her face when she heard his approach.
“Hey.”
He nodded once.
“Everything good with Molly?”
“She’s good, yeah. Nan also called. They gave Pop an inhaler.”
“Good.” He climbed the porch steps, walking around her.
“I’m going to take a shower—”
She popped up.
“Archer.”
He couldn’t look her in the eye.
Instead, he set his gaze on the screen door.
“Yeah?”
“Please tell me what you’re thinking.”
He paused for a beat.
“Was it a mistake this time too?”
“Hey,” she whispered.
He shook his head. “It’s a yes or no, Tea.”
She didn’t respond.
He felt like he wanted to puke.
How could he let this happen again?
Archer climbed the last step and swung open the door.
Tea chased after him.
“Archer, come on. We need to talk about it.”
“No, I really don’t think we do.” He ripped off his shirt and tossed it in the laundry basket, then grabbed his towel and stepped into the bathroom.
When he went to close the door, Tea stopped it with her hands.
He closed his eyes, took a deep breath.
Stepped away from her to turn on the shower head.
“Listen. It’s a weird time right now. We’re both scared and lonely and forced to be around each other. We got ahead of ourselves. Let’s not do something we’ll both regret.”
Her eyes dimmed.
“Is that really how you feel?”
Not even close.
But he nodded, because what else was he supposed to do?
He had to protect himself against her, or he would lose himself all over again.
He watched her hesitate, watched the range of emotions cross her face, until she settled for a complacent, blank expression.
“Fine. Then that is how we leave it.”
She grabbed the handle and slammed the bathroom door.
Archer stripped down and got in the shower, turning the spigot from hot to very, very cold.
They quickly slipped back to being cordial with one another.
They were like roommates—maybe worse.
They didn’t hang out or talk.
Archer spent his days working himself to the bone, doing any task he could possibly think of, even offering to buy groceries for anyone with COVID who couldn’t leave their cabins.
He spent his evenings in his bed, imagining how easy it would be to crawl into hers, then cursed himself for being such a goddamn fool and punished himself with a brutal round of pushups.
When they hit day fourteen of their quarantine, Archer came back to his cabin to find Tea packing her things.
He frowned. “Are they good?”
“No fever or symptoms for five days, so things should be safe now.” She slung two tote bags over her shoulder, then made her way out of the room.
He stepped to the side to give her space, then realized the picture frame was still on the shelf.
He picked it up and followed her out.
“Wait, you forgot this.”
Tea turned to him, looking at the photo in his hands.
Then she looked up at him, her face like stone.
“You can keep it.”
She left without another word.
She didn’t even glance back in his direction.