Chapter Thirty-Seven
Lainey
I’d started the Honda’s engine when Adam asked, “So, you think I did the right thing?”
I wanted to scream, “No! You should live with me and Conor!” but I replied, “It’s a beautiful home and the rent is ridiculously cheap. I don’t see how you could go wrong. And you’ll have good neighbors.”
He nodded. “That’s true,” then he looked at me pointedly. “But he’ll also know everyone who comes in and out of my place.”
“Yeah…”
“Not that there’s really any way to keep a secret in Haven Springs, anyway.”
“That’s true.”
He was quiet for a beat, as if he were lost in thought, before he finally asked, “So, what will that mean for us when I move out?”
I didn’t want to think about it, but burying my head in the sand wasn’t the solution.
“I think we both know we won’t be able to keep doing… what we’re doing without everyone talking.”
“And I wouldn’t want to dishonor Shawn’s memory like that.”
“Of course. You wouldn’t want to do that for someone you’re just messing around with.”
“Lainey, come on. You know that’s not how I feel about you. But every time we’re together, it seems like I’m betraying Shawn. Like I’m stealing the life he’d have if I hadn’t—”
I glanced over at him, waiting for him to continue, then drew my attention back to the road.
“If you hadn’t…?”
His voice was barely above a whisper. “He died because of me, Lainey.”
I jerked my attention back to him and had to concentrate to not run us off the road when I looked back out the windshield.
“What do you mean, he died because of you?”
“I was on lookout while my squad was on patrol—I should have seen the bomb that we hit. Shawn died coming to save us because I messed up.”
“That was his job, Adam. You would have done the same thing for him—or anyone else on your team.”
“But if I hadn’t fucked up, he wouldn’t have had to.”
I reached over and grabbed his disfigured hand.
“You need to talk to somebody about this. You can’t continue blaming yourself for something the enemy did. It’s not. Your. Fault.”
“I don’t think Brian or Shawn’s family would see it that way.”
“I think that’s exactly how they’d see it. You were in a hostile area. You’re not Superman—you don’t have x-ray vision. Bad people killed Shawn; not you, Adam. My God, you were injured, too!”
He squeezed my hand.
“You don’t hate me?”
“Are you kidding? Of course not. I can’t imagine what you guys were going through just trying to survive while doing your jobs. You’re not to blame.”
He released his grip on my hand.
“Thank you for saying that.”
“I said it because I mean it. And I’m serious—you need to talk to someone about this.”
“I went through pretty intensive therapy before being discharged. I thought I had dealt with it, but being here, seeing everything Shawn lost… it’s hard not to feel responsible for that.”
“I’m sorry. Truly. And I would hate for you to leave, but why are you staying in Haven Springs if it’s hurting you to be here?”
“Because it would hurt me more to go. I owe it to Shawn to make sure you and Conor are safe and happy.”
Right. He owes it to Shawn.
“Would it be easier for you if we weren’t involved anymore?”
I knew I was being a martyr, but I was really hoping he’d shoot the idea down on the spot.
He didn’t immediately disagree, which told me a lot before he even said, “Let’s cross that bridge when I move out.”
~~~~
We were able to clean my small apartment top to bottom and had almost an hour to spare before seven o’clock, when the O’Briens were going to bring Conor back.
It seemed our conversation in the car had killed any horny feelings we’d normally have, because it felt like we’d consciously steered clear of one another while we cleaned.
So, when he asked if I wanted to grab dinner at Clay’s instead of suggesting we fool around with our remaining time, I was only mildly disappointed.
“You sure you want to be seen with me?”
“Princess, people are already talking. They know I’m staying with you. Us having dinner together shouldn’t be a surprise to anyone.”
“Okay but let me jump in the shower first.”
He threw his head back and groaned, and I initially thought he was annoyed because he was hungry, so I defensively replied, “I can get ready fast.”
His chuckle was low when he said, “That’s not it, baby. Now I’m imagining you naked in the shower, and the last thing I care about is dinner.”
Annnnd, the horny feelings were back.
I bit my bottom lip suggestively.
“Well, maybe you could help make sure I get all the shampoo out of my hair.”
****
Adam
I noticed Hugh and Teresa’s car parked in front of the bakery as I came out of the diner with our to-go order.
Yeah, I’d been weak and fucked Lainey in the shower. I knew it was wrong, and yet when I was with her, I didn’t care.
“Hey guys!” I called as I approached their car where Teresa fumbled with the car seat buckle while Hugh retrieved the diaper bag from the backseat.
“Well, hello, Adam!” Mrs. O’Brien returned my greeting with a big smile at the same time her husband grumbled, “You really need to tell Lainey she doesn’t need to send all this stuff. We already have everything he needs.”
“I told you,” Teresa scolded, “I don’t want her to think we’re overstepping.”
Even though neither were talking to me, I threw in my two cents anyway.
“I don’t think she’d think that at all. She’d probably appreciate only having to send his bottles.”
“Do you think so?”
“Absolutely.”
She pulled her grandson from the seat and beamed down at him.
“Good.”
I looped the handle of the plastic bag with our food around my left wrist and pulled the keys from my pocket with my right hand.
“Come on, let’s go inside.”
****
Lainey
I’d never had shower sex before today.
Ten out of ten would recommend, but now I was left hurrying to make myself presentable before the O’Briens arrived.
After towel-drying my hair, I threw it up in a scrunchie and quickly got dressed while Adam went to pick up our takeout order from Clay’s.
At five minutes to seven, I decided to make my way downstairs to wait for Hugh and Teresa, like we’d agreed to last time. But I’d just finished putting on my shoes when there was a brief knock at the door, then Hugh walked in, followed by Teresa holding Conor, then Adam.
“Hi!” I exclaimed as I reached for my son.
Teresa handed him over without hesitation as she responded with a cheery, “Hello!”
“Everything go okay today?”
“Everything went perfect.” The older woman smiled brightly at her grandson, who returned her smile when she tickled his chin and proclaimed, “Because we have the most perfect grandbaby in the world. Yes, we do!”
Hugh said, “So, Adam, I heard you’re renting the Garcia’s place while they visit Arizona.”
“Wow, word sure gets around fast,” he murmured.
“Welcome to Haven Springs,” Hugh replied with a grin.
Teresa added, “I have no idea why anyone would go to Arizona during the summer, but that’s good for you, I guess.”
“People who have grandchildren,” Hugh reminded his wife, then turned back to Adam. “Does that mean you’re moving out?”
“No, not until we arrest Lainey’s letter writer.”
He nodded. “Good. Still no luck?”
“No, not yet.”
No sooner had he said the words than the sound of glass shattering came from downstairs.
Adam didn’t hesitate and bolted out the door like a shot. Hugh’s reflexes were a little slower, but he quickly followed after him.
I wavered, wondering if I should go down, too. It was my bakery, after all.
Teresa held out her arms. “I’ll wait up here with him.”
“Thank you.”
With some trepidation, I made my way downstairs and into the bakery. The sight made me wish I hadn’t. In fact, it made me want to cry.
My beautiful picture window, the one I’d just had decaled with “Beaumont’s Bakery,” had been smashed. Shards of glass were everywhere. I noticed a “B” and an “A” on the pieces of glass on the floor.
“What happened?”
Adam had the phone to his ear and nodded to a rock with a yellow piece of paper rubber banded around it lying among the glass.
I leaned down to pick it up, and Adam stopped his phone conversation mid-sentence to tell me, “Don’t touch anything!”
I stood and defensively held my hands up at my chest, as if to show I hadn’t touched it.
Hugh put his arm around my shoulder and side-hugged me.
“I’m sorry, kiddo. This is nuts. I don’t think you should stay here until whoever did this is caught.”
Before I could answer, Adam approached us, having ended his call, and said, “Brian and Angus are on their way. They’ve already got the officers on patrol canvassing the area to see if anyone saw anything or if there are cameras in the area that might have recorded something.”
Hugh nodded. “That’s good. I was telling Lainey she shouldn’t stay here until whoever did this is caught.”
“I agree. Brian is bringing his truck so you can take some of your and Conor’s stuff to his place.”
I felt my spine stiffen.
“Hold on a second. I appreciate that everyone’s concerned about mine and my son’s safety. But you can’t just go around making decisions about my life without even consulting with me. Do you know how insulting that is?”
Adam’s shoulders dropped.
“You know what? You’re absolutely right. We went into crisis management mode, and assumed you’d be on board. But I should have talked to you and asked what you thought. So, let me try again. Do you want to take some of your and Conor’s things and stay at Brian’s?”
Hugh added gently, “I didn’t mean to overstep. You’re welcome at our house, too. We have a nursery already set up and you could stay in Shawn’s room.”
Now I felt like a jerk for throwing a fit when I knew they were simply looking out for me.
But I had my pride.
“Let me think about it. I’ve had a lot of information thrown at me at once, and I need time to process it.
I have to call Earl, my landlord, about what we can do to file an insurance claim and get a new window installed asap.
I need to figure out what I’m going to do with the bakery until the window gets replaced.
No one’s going to want to come here with the front window boarded up.
And on top of all that, the last thing I want to do is disrupt Conor’s schedule. ”
I knew the argument was that a little schedule disruption was better than something bad happening to him. And I could tell by the way Adam clenched his jaw, that he was itching to argue exactly that. But he didn’t say anything other than, “Think about it, okay?”
So, I managed to walk outside to call Earl with a little of my dignity intact. And I appreciated Adam and Hugh for allowing me to do that.