Chapter Forty-Six
Lainey
Alan had been really easy to talk to when he’d been at the bakery—I don’t think I’d ever laughed so hard or felt so comfortable after just meeting someone. And it was obvious how much he loved his little brother.
It’d been easy to accept his invitation to dinner.
I parked behind a pretty grey Bronco Badlands in the Garcia’s driveway and immediately understood why Adam had wanted to have it in Haven Springs.
I’d opened the rear passenger door where Conor was in his car seat when I heard the screen door on the front porch slam and saw Adam coming down the steps.
“I got him!”
I stopped unbuckling my son and went to the trunk to retrieve the bag with the gourmet cheeses I’d bought from the deli section at Publix. They were supposed to pair nicely with the bottles of blueberry wine I’d also gotten at the supermarket.
Adam greeted me with a kiss on the cheek, then removed Conor from his seat.
“Hey, buddy! Did you miss me? Because I sure have missed you!”
“He must, since he did not want to go back to sleep after his three o’clock feeding this morning.”
“That’s funny. I woke up at three minutes after three and seriously considered going to your apartment.”
“Boy, that would have been the talk of the town this morning.”
He studied me for a second before asking, “What would you have done if I’d shown up?”
“What do you mean?”
“Would you have answered the door?”
“Not in a teddy, but yeah, of course I would have.”
I’d have been naked.
“What?”
Oh, shit. Did I say that out loud?
“I’m just kidding. Although,” I said with a flirty grin. “Showing up on my doorstep at three a.m. would give the impression you wouldn’t be opposed if I answered the door in my birthday suit.”
“That’s why I didn’t come.”
Ouch.
Shutdown and I hadn’t even gotten in the door.
I slammed the trunk shut and replied with a curt, “Message received, Officer Callahan,” then headed toward the house.
****
Adam
I closed my eyes and cursed under my breath before starting after her.
“That came out wrong. I meant I didn’t want to give you the wrong impression, not that I wouldn’t want you to answer the door naked.”
Her eyebrows shot up.
Fuck!
“Wait. That’s not what I meant either.” I let out a frustrated sigh. “Can we please go inside and forget about the last five minutes?”
“Let’s. I found the blueberry wine Alan asked for, and I want to try it.”
I felt my brows crease.
“Are you supposed to drink while you’re breastfeeding?”
“As long as I wait two hours per drink to let my body metabolize the alcohol. I pumped enough today that he’ll be fine if I don’t nurse until tomorrow. And I’ll pump and dump to be extra safe.”
“Sorry, I hope that didn’t come off as judgy. I honestly didn’t know.”
“I didn’t take it that you were being judgy.”
Alan opened the door wearing an apron emblazed with I cook as good as I look across its front.
“Lainey! You made it!” He kissed both her cheeks like he was European or some shit. It didn’t work very well because she wasn’t expecting the second kiss and awkwardly moved her head. Then she realized what he was trying to do, and it got even more weird when she contorted herself to let it happen.
He tried to make a smooth recovery when he gestured to the little man in my arms. “And this must be your son.”
“Yep, this is Conor.” She smirked when she walked past him in the doorway. “Nice apron.”
“I found it in one of the kitchen drawers and thought it was perfect.”
I walked inside and mocked him by offering my cheek. He responded by using his middle finger to scratch his nose.
“Fortunately for you, it sets expectations for tonight’s dinner pretty low.”
Alan wasn’t fazed and scoffed, “Puh-lease. Don’t hate because I’m the handsome brother.”
“Pfft. Who told you that?”
“Everyone.”
Lainey interrupted our brotherly banter with, “Oh my God. Your poor mother! I can only imagine what you two must have been like growing up!”
My brother replied, “He’d just finished sixth grade when I left for college, so it was pretty tame.” His face broke into a devilish grin. “We’re way worse now.”
“I see that!” She held up one of the bottles of wine she’d brought in. “I’m going to go find a bottle opener.”
Once she was out of earshot he motioned toward where she’d gone.
“Now I understand why you stayed here.”
“I’m not sure how long I’m staying after we catch the guy who attacked me.”
He snorted. “Yeah, okay.”
“What’s that supposed to mean?”
“Please. You’re not leaving here unless you’ve knocked that girl up, dragged her to the altar, and she and the kids are coming along.”
“What are you talking about?”
“Don’t play dumb with me. You’re in love with her.”
“You’re crazy. She was practically engaged to my friend; she had his baby, for chrissake!”
“And?”
“And I wouldn’t do that to Shawn.”
He observed me for a second before he said, “Bullshit. You already have.”
Fuck.
Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.
There was no point lying to him.
I lowered my voice and murmured, “It was a mistake, and I feel like a scumbag for doing it.”
“Just what every girl wants to hear after she’s been with a guy. Good Lord, Adam, I hope you didn’t tell her that.”
“She agrees.”
He cocked his head and narrowed his eyes.
“Mmm, I don’t know about that. She doesn’t look at you like she thinks you were a mistake.”
“Shawn was my best friend in the Marines, Al. He died because I fucked up. How could I do that to him?”
“How did you fuck up?”
“I was on lookout and missed the IED that we hit. Shawn would have been safe at camp and not on his way to rescue me if I hadn’t have missed it.”
He acted like he was waiting for me to say more, and when I didn’t, he held his hands out in a questioning manner.
“That’s it? You missed the bomb that almost blew your arm off and you blame yourself for your friend’s death?”
“I am to blame.”
“Say you would have seen the IED—or say you hadn’t, but your JLTV missed it anyway, who’s to say Shawn’s vehicle wouldn’t have been hit by an RPG later that night?
You’re not God. Your friend didn’t die because of something you missed.
He died because some fucker put a rocket launcher on his shoulder and fired a grenade into Shawn’s Hummer.
You are not responsible for your friend’s death. ”
“It doesn’t feel that way.”
“Look, I get having survivor’s guilt, Adam, better than most people. I went through it—twice. But you’ve got to live your life, man. If anything, you owe it to Shawn to have a great fucking life.”
“Yeah, but not with his girl.”
“Why the hell not?”
I glanced down at Shawn’s son in my arms.
“It wouldn’t be right.”
Alan shook his head in disgust.
“Whatever. I really hope you get counseling and get this shit figured out before it’s too late.”
“What do you mean, before it’s too late ?”
“Before someone smarter than you comes along and snatches her up.”
I thought back to what Brian had said about Dr. Weaver wanting to ask her out.
“It might already be too late.”
“I don’t believe that. She’s here tonight, and while I am fucking awesome, trust me, it’s not so she can spend time with me.”
****
Lainey
That blueberry wine was flipping delicious. I could see how easy it would be to put two bottles away before you knew what hit you.
Not drinking for over ten months wasn’t helping my situation.
After a delicious steak and potatoes dinner that I did not have to help cook, a game of gin rummy, dessert, then two obnoxiously rowdy games of Uno, Brian looked at his watch.
“You want to stay at my place tonight?”
“No, but you probably should give me a ride home.”
Adam spoke up. “Why don’t you stay here tonight, that way I can feed Conor.”
When I didn’t agree right away, he added, “I am the baby whisperer, after all.”
Brian said, “His playpen’s still at my house. I can bring it over.”
Alan looked at me with his shoulders raised. “Sounds like they’ve got it all figured out. I’d take advantage of it, if I were you.”
The wine had kind of put me in the mood to be taken advantage of, but that was a different story.
“I mean, okay, if you have room?”
Adam smiled. “Plenty of room.” He reached for my hand. “Come on, I’ll show you where you can sleep. It’s far away from Alan’s room so you don’t have to listen to him snore.”
His head shot up at the sound of his name.
“Hey! I went to a sleep study and had that corrected, thank you very much.”
“Good, ’cuz you sounded like a chainsaw.”
With a giggle, I replied, “I don’t know. I’ve been told I snore when I’ve been drinking.”
“You’ll be at the end of the hall. You won’t bother anyone even if you do.”
I wasn’t convinced, but I was too tipsy to care.
“Okaaaay.”
****
Adam
“Are you sure you’ll remember to feed him? He’s going to wake up in like,” Lainey looked at her wrist and realized she wasn’t wearing a watch, so she winged it. “Twenty minutes.”
I guided her down the hall with my hand at the small of her back.
“I promise, princess. I will feed him when he wakes up in twenty minutes, and again at three, and again at six. You don’t have to worry. I’ll make sure you’re up in time to open the bakery. Go to sleep, baby.”
She stopped abruptly in the hall with her bottom lip jutted out in a pout.
“You don’t get to call me that anymore, remember?”
“You’re right,” I agreed as I urged her to move again. “I forgot.”
Stumbling a little, she put her hand on the wall to steady herself and asked, “How could you forget? I’ll never forget. I loved our time together.”
“I loved it, too.”
Tears filled her eyes when we reached the guest room at the end of the hall. The one across from the owner’s suite.
“Then why don’t you want me?”
“Baby girl, it’s not that I don’t want you. I fucking ache for you, but we agreed we can’t do that to Shawn.”
“I didn’t agree to anything,” she proclaimed stubbornly as she walked into the room and flopped spread-eagle onto the bed.
My cock stood up and took notice. Like it had all evening every time she laughed and her tits jiggled. Or when I’d catch the scent of her shampoo. Or when she chewed on her bottom lip when she was concentrating during a game. Or when she moaned after her first bite of the cheesecake Brian brought.
Not gonna happen, buddy , I chastised for the millionth time that night.
Although Alan’s speech earlier, along with what I interpreted as Brian’s approval the other day, gave me something to think about.