Chapter 4
Chapter
Four
MADDOX
He’s nervous. Fluttery.
His hands shake when I’m close and he can barely meet my eyes, though there’s always a blush high on his cheeks when I’m around.
Three days of being around Luca Archer and I have to convince myself I can’t make him mine.
It’s not smart. He’s my TA, for fuck’s sake. I love my job and don’t want to lose it because I can’t control myself for a semester.
Though… there aren’t any rules against dating a student, as long as they’re not in your class. Luca isn’t taking theater. Hell, he shouldn’t even be my TA, as he doesn’t have the requisites for it.
I shake myself to stop the thoughts from swirling in my head. It’s not smart to look for reasons to take Luca over my knee.
Fuck. Bad idea, even worse visual, especially with Luca bending over to pull files out of a box. His small but rounded ass calls to me, and my palm itches.
No. No. Luca is off limits.
I’ll just go to Mask and pick up. If I can get a sexy twink on my dick, I’ll forget about the one who’s currently meandering around my office, tidying up and organizing simultaneously.
Fuck, he’s efficient.
Trying to push thoughts of how perfect the man in front of me is, I ask, “How are you enjoying Evergreen? Was it your first choice?”
Luca startles, turning to me with wide eyes. Did he not expect me to converse with him? Maybe. My fucking reputation has preceded me.
“Um… it’s good. I like it here. Classes are…
classes are good.” I hum, waiting for him to answer my second question.
“It was my first choice, since it’s close to home.
I only applied here. What about you?” He closes his eyes, as if he’s fucked up.
I get the feeling he would burn with embarrassment if a waiter told him to enjoy his meal and he replied, “You too.”
Not wanting him to feel bad, I nod. “Yes, it was my first choice. The furthest from my home in my case. I needed to get away.” Why am I telling him this? Shut the fuck up, Mad.
“Oh,” he answers, soft and attentive.
I don’t shut the fuck up. “I played football here.”
“Oh, I’ve heard. That was ages ago, right?” If Luca’s eyes could get any wider, they’d pop out of his head.
Instead of taking offense like I normally would, a laugh bubbles up my throat. “Yeah, ages ago.”
Luca mumbles something about needing to get back to work and ducks his head to hide from me.
I grunt and peel my eyes away from him, revising my syllabus for next semester. It’s not something I need to do, but it’s better than watching Luca’s cute little ass as he moves around my office and trying to engage him in more conversation.
He doesn’t even realize how fucking adorable he is. He hunches his shoulders, trying to look invisible, but I can’t help but notice him. It’s like my eyes are drawn to him, no matter where he is in the room. That hasn’t happened since… him.
Before I met him, I didn’t care much for dating. My main focus was on graduating and getting a well-paying job that wouldn’t land me back in my small, closed-minded town. Then he came along and fucked me up.
And Luca reminds me of him. Same size, same shape, same innocent look. I can’t do that again. It’ll hurt too much.
It’s not a want, it’s a need. I need to go to Mask tonight.
Even if I don’t play, I can at least watch.
There has to be someone there who’ll catch my eye.
Someone who likes to be fucked in front of an audience.
Someone who doesn’t remind me of either one of them. That will be enough. It’s better than—
“Um… Professor?” Luca asks in a timid voice. I look up to find him standing in front of my desk, bottom lip pulled between his teeth and his hands gripping the clipboard so hard his knuckles turn white.
Fuck me. How can he simply… stand there and be the sexiest thing I’ve ever seen?
Those deep brown eyes that look a bit wet, as if he might burst into tears at any moment, pull me in. My own hands itch to hold him as tight as he’s clutching the clipboard, so he knows that someone will piece him together if he falls apart.
He’s small, delicate, so fucking sweet. Probably too sweet for a gruff bastard like me, so I’m going to stay away. I have to. If I don’t, I’d fucking consume him. I’d overwhelm him until I’m all he can see, taste, touch, smell. I would require nothing less.
Someone like Luca wouldn’t be able to handle all I wanted from them. It doesn’t stop me from wanting, though.
Doesn’t stop my mind from leaping back to the past either.
He fidgets in front of me, those guileless eyes pleading with me to say… something.
Clearing my throat, I say, “How can I help you, Mr. Archer?”
“Um… I have to go to my next class. I can’t finish your office today.
” He looks around at the mess, his gaze bouncing from one stack of papers to the next.
I can almost feel how much the thought of leaving it unfinished bothers him.
“But I can finish this week.” He turns back to me and hands me the clipboard.
“I started a system for your filing. It should be pretty easy to keep track of. Just… you can…”
Ticking up an eyebrow, I take the clipboard from his hand and look over his system. It’s not bad. It’s actually very smart, and easy to work with.
Thomas never developed a system while he worked for me. He was content to file my paperwork as I gave it to him, and leave shit where he felt like it.
When I don’t reply for a few beats, Luca fidgets from one foot to the other. “If it’s too much, I can stay…”
I flick my gaze back to him and say, “No, it’s fine. You did good work.”
Just as I knew it would, his features relax and a brilliant smile crosses his face. It’s like a light is shining under his skin, illuminating him in a way that makes my fucking knees weak.
Fuuuuuuuuuuuck!
He never looked at me like that. Never looked so free and happy after a simple compliment. Luca seems different… but is he really?
Sharp knocking at my office door has both Luca and me snapping our heads up and in the direction of the sound.
Crista struts inside, looking around my office. “Well, I guess having a competent TA makes all the difference.” She looks at Luca, giving him the once-over. He curls into himself, his eyes lowered and that pretty blush gone.
I have to fight the growl that wants to burst from me.
“Thank you,” he murmurs. “I’ll be here tomorrow, Professor.” He scurries out, and I stand as if I’m some kind of fucking Victorian gentleman.
When I hear his quick footsteps retreat down the hall, I sit down and turn to my computer.
“Bad idea,” Crista says, taking her favorite seat on the edge of my desk.
“What?” I ask, even though I know.
“Don’t play coy with me, Professor,” she drops her voice to resemble Luca’s. “He’s a student.”
“Not my student,” slips out of my mouth before I can gobble the words back.
Her sharp laughter grates on my nerves. “No, not your student. Be careful if that’s what you want to pursue, though. It can get… messy.”
Sighing, I push back from my desk, threading my fingers through my hair. “I know. I won’t do anything. I can’t.”
“You need to come out with us tonight. If you find someone who’s available”—she gives me a stern look—“then you won’t be thinking about bending your TA over the desk and fucking him until he cries.”
God, that image implants itself into my mind, morphing and solidifying until I can almost taste the tears running down his cheeks as I rail Luca into the wood of my desk. He’d be sweet too, thanking me for making him feel so good, soaking up the praise I gave him for being such a good fucking boy.
It’s a no-brainer. I’ll be going to Mask with Crista and Mika tonight.
Crista and Mika sit beside me at the bar, laughing at something I didn’t hear. The atmosphere in Mask is lively, and there are plenty of men and women who catch my eye, but not enough to hold my attention.
They walk around in the back section of the club in leather, chaps, harnesses, and some are completely naked. It’s fine, really it is, but right now, it’s doing nothing for me.
Mask is a club that caters to all manner of kinks, whether it be daddy, wax play, breath play, exhibitionism, voyeurism. It has everything anyone could possibly want for a fun night.
And none of it intrigues me.
I’m fucking irritated every time a brown-haired twink walks past because they’re not Luca.
I thought coming out tonight, feeling a hot mouth or warm ass around my dick would get me back on an even keel so I can ignore my perfect, sweet, innocent TA, but that couldn’t be further from the truth.
I can’t stop thinking about him, can’t stop wondering what he would look like all trussed up, waiting for me to make him feel good.
What he would look like with tears streaming down his face as I spank him.
How he would look up at me from his knees.
On the other hand, I can’t get involved with someone like him.
Someone like him is why I’m so jaded, so cynical now.
I try to tell myself that over and over, but that small, mature voice inside me says they’re not the same, that I can’t put the hurt of my past on Luca.
But my heart and mind aren’t on the same page right now. And it’s confusing the fuck out of me.
“Fuck,” I grunt, even more irritated. I turn to the bartender and hold up my glass for another Scotch.
Crista leans over, bumping me with her hip. “Come on, Mad. There are some cute men here.” She turns to the dancing crowd. “Him.” She points to a man swaying at the edge of the dance floor. He’s cute, his long blond hair in a ponytail on top of his head. But he’s not what I want.
“No,” I grumble.
“Or him.” Another blond man with short hair, a wide smile, and pretty makeup. He’s attractive but too… outgoing.
“Nope.”
“You’re a grump.”
“And you’re annoying. Any other facts we want to share with the class?”
“Oh! Tell me how good I look.”
She strikes a pose, and I glare at her hard enough to terrify anyone else.
No denying she looks good. Her makeup is done to perfection, the highlighter on her cheeks making her brown skin sparkle under the lights. The bustier she’s wearing has her boobs pushed up under her chin, making everyone stop and take a long look. The thigh-high boots give serious Domme vibes.
If we weren’t friends and I wasn’t as gay as they come, I would try to pick her up. But I won’t be telling her that. Her head is big enough as it is.
Mika wraps her arm around her girlfriend to kiss her cheek. “If he doesn’t tell you, I will.” Crista turns to her and kisses her soundly.
I roll my eyes at their open affection. That’s probably something Luca would like, someone who’d show him they’re all in.
Would I be willing to give that to him? Could I show him through physical touch that I want him?
The last time I tried that…
I refuse to let memories of my past overwhelm me. It does nothing but sour my moments in the present.
Wait, why the fuck am I thinking about touching Luca? I’m here to get the tiny twink off my mind, not spend the entire night obsessing over him.
Scoffing, I knock my drink back and say, “I’m going to the rooms.”
“Have fun,” Crista sing-songs as I stride toward the back of the club, hoping something back there will take my mind off Luca.