The Cost of Control
Luca POV
I don’t follow her into the trees.
That’s the first choice I make today.
It costs me.
I make it as far as the edge of the pack lands before I stop, breath coming too fast for someone who prides himself on control.
I stand there long after she disappears, the forest swallowing her like it always does, and I tell myself it’s better this way.
I squeeze my eyes shut and force a slow breath.
My jaw locks. My hands curl into fists so tight my knuckles ache.
I can still feel her.
The warmth of her mouth. The way she stilled for half a heartbeat before leaning into me, like she’d been waiting and she already knew this would happen. Even if she didn’t understand why.
I shouldn’t have touched her.
I needed to touch her.
That’s the truth I won’t say out loud.
The thought of her lips on mine leaves my trousers uncomfortably tight, desire coiled and insistent where it shouldn't be.
I haven't felt this out of control in years.
Not since that night all those years ago.
Not since my father’s hands had been warm on my shoulders, his voice steady as he told me the pack would need me one day. Strong. Present.
My mother had stood smiling from the doorway, eyes soft – like nothing in the world could touch them if they stood together.
They were both dead by morning.
That’s what love does to people. To the pack.
It blinds them. Weakens them. Makes them careless.
I won’t tie my power – my judgement – to someone who could be taken from me.
Especially not her.
Human. Fragile.
Yet, I want her anyway.
Rowan appears beside me without a sound, like he always does. He doesn’t look towards the trees she vanished into. He looks at me.
Slow. Assessing.
“So,” he says lightly. “You going to pretend that didn’t just happen, or should I?”
I don’t answer.
My silence is answer enough.
He huffs a quiet laugh, “You kissed her.”
“That’s not– ”
“You kissed her,” he repeats. “Then you let her walk away.”
I glare at him. “You didn’t see– ”
“I saw enough.”
He tilts his head, eyes sharp now. Less teasing. More wolf.
“You look like a man who just turned his back on the one thing his instincts are screaming for.”
My chest tightens.
Instincts are a liability.
Love is worse.
“I did what I had to,” I say.
I look away before he can see the fracture spread.
“My parents claimed each other, loved each other,” I continue quietly. “And it destroyed them.”
The white wolf had nearly taken it all from us.
I refocus on Rowan.
He exhales slowly. “You really think pushing her away keeps her safe?”
It doesn’t.
It just keeps everyone else alive.
“No,” I say. “But we swore we wouldn’t let what happened before repeat. The pack always come first.”
I close my eyes, just for a second, and see her again – startled, aching, hopeful in a way I don’t deserve.
“I think wanting her would ruin everything,” I say.
Rowan’s voice is softer when he replies. “But you already do.”
“Go after her,” I command. “Make sure she’s okay.”
With a curt nod, he’s gone.
----
A little later and a car pulls-up.
Last chance to stop her leaving, comes through the link.
How does he always know what I'm up to?
I don’t respond.
Don’t move.
Don’t stop her.
That’s the thing that will haunt me.
I watch from the trees as Rowan helps her along, my temper flaring at the sight of is hands on her.
As she nears the car, every instinct in me surges forward. It claws at my spine, demanding I go after her – that I explain, that I fix it.
I stay where I am.
Because if I follow her now, I won’t let her leave again and that can never happen.