Chapter 6
CHAPTER
SIX
NOAH
For the first time in a long while the base is quiet, but my mind isn’t. I try to sleep, but all I see is Jessica running toward the soldiers in the middle of a fire fight.
During the debrief, I told the commander she was fast, focused, and saved lives, but that she was also reckless, however I could also admit that she was not wrong in her recklessness. Had she not gotten to that soldier when she did, he could have lost his legs, if not his life.
I get up from my cot and walk outside my tent. The night air in the desert is cooler than during the day. I sit down while my ankle throbs and stare at the stars like they owe me answers, though I’m not sure what questions I’m really asking.
My thoughts continue racing, as I try to quiet my mind. I see a figure walking across the sand from a tent nearby to the medical tent across. I don’t need anyone to tell me who it is, I already know it’s Jessica.
I watch as she enters the medical tent and I get up, making my way there as well. I lift the flap a little, not to go in, but to watch. I see her smiling down at a soldier as she reads his chart and checks his vitals.
I can’t hear what she’s whispering to him, but I see his smile as he stares up at her. Something pierces in my gut and I physically feel anger course through my body. I want to go over there and beat the crap out of that soldier for smiling at her.
What the hell is wrong with me? I internally think as I frown, trying to figure out where these feelings are coming from.
I step back, gently lowering the tent flap, trying to get a grip on these feelings. Why would I want to beat an injured soldier, just for smiling at the doctor?
I continue to stand outside the tent contemplating my feelings, when the tent flap opens and Jessica walks out.
“Oh.” Surprise fills her voice. “What can I do for you Captain?”
“I was just walking around, making sure everything is good.” I let the lie flow.
Looking at her up close, I can see the dark circles around her eyes and her face is full of fatigue.
“How’s the ankle?” she asks.
“It’s fine,” I gruff out.
“Is that why you are walking around with your boot untied?” She smirks.
I look down, forgetting I only put the boot on when I stepped outside.
I shrug my shoulders, but feel guilty when I hear her sigh. So I reluctantly admit softly, “It’s still swollen.”
“Let me look at it,” she tells me as she leads me over to the triage tent.
Once inside, she has me sit down and take my boot and sock off. I roll up my pants, and I can see how swollen and bruised the ankle and foot are.
“Hmmm,” is the only thing she says before she places a cold compress to my ankle, causing me to jerk my foot a little bit. “Hold still,” she whispers.
“I’m trying,” I say through gritted teeth.
She takes gauze and wraps it around my ankle and the cold compress to keep it in place, then she has me elevate it, while handing me ibuprofen.
“Just rest here for a bit,” she whispers softly.
I watch her walk back over to her desk and log notes. We stay in silence for a while before I decide to say something. “The debrief went well with the Commander.”
“I heard,” she tells me, not looking up.
Someone must have told her what I said.
“I didn’t mean to call you reckless,” I say. “Not like that.”
She glances at me. “You weren’t wrong.”
“I was scared,” I admit. “Watching you run into that mess, it felt like watching someone fall and knowing you can’t catch them.”
She exhales slowly. “I made a vow, no soldier dies on my watch.”
I nod. “That’s a heavy vow.”
She looks down. “It’s the only thing that keeps me going.”
“You saved him, that soldier. You did what no one else could.”
She doesn’t respond, but her jaw tightens.
“We’ve all lost people.” I say. “You know as well as I do, it’s hard not to lose. These missions, they test you. How many?”
“How many what?”
“How many have you lost?”
“Five,” she whispers and I can see the grief carved into her face.
“I lost a whole team on my first rotation here,” I say honestly.
She turns to me, eyes darker than the sky. “Do you ever stop seeing their faces?”
“No,” I whisper. “I see their faces all the time in every soldier that I command.”
That catches her off guard, but she nods as she looks away then whispers, “I see them too.”
She comes over to check on my ankle. “Stay off the ankle as much as possible and if you have to be on it, keep it wrapped tightly. Use the cold compress every night when you lay down and keep it elevated as much as possible.”
“Okay,” I say, though I don’t move.
“You should go get some sleep,” she says, voice low.
She starts to walk away, then pauses. “Thanks…for what you said in the debrief.”
I nod. “You earned it.”
She walks back to her desk and I walk out of the medical tent back to my barracks. Once I lay down, my dreams consist of Jessica.