Chapter 7
CHAPTER
SEVEN
Chase walked along the walking trail, practicing what he was going to say to CJ when he saw her.
Bobby told him where to find her; a smile tugged at his lips that she was at one of the places they would go to as kids.
They were always here at this water hole on hot, muggy summer days.
The water was cool and refreshing, and they had set up a tire swing to help swing out further into the water.
Chase came around the bend and stopped. There CJ sat on a large boulder overlooking the water. The light breeze ruffled her brown hair, giving him a teasing glimpse of her bare shoulder.
His fingers twitched wanting to reach out and touch her.
To refamiliarize himself with her body. To retrace her buttery soft skin with his fingers and tongue.
To hear her breathy sighs and moans as he brought her to ecstasy over and over again.
First though, he needed her to forgive him and accept him.
He stepped forward. Each step felt leaden as his feet carried him to her. “Hi,” he said when he was next to her.
CJ didn’t look up at his arrival, as if she’d known he was there all along. “What are you doing here?” Her tone was as cold as ice. Not that he expected a warm reception after the way they’d parted ways.
“Bobby said you’d be here. I can’t believe you still come here. We were here as kids all the time. So many memories,” he replied, trying to strike up a casual conversation.
“This was yours and Bobby’s place. Never mine.”
“I recall you here just as much as us,” he countered. There wasn’t a memory of his youth that didn’t include her in it. She had always been there as one of them.
CJ snorted, not believing him. “You guys just let me tag along,” she said, giving him a side eye then looking back out at the water. “But I have great memories here too. It’s where I feel most relaxed. That doesn’t explain why you’re here though. I’m sure it wasn’t to reminisce about old memories.”
“I’m leaving,” he stated bluntly.
“Leaving!” she screeched, pushing from the rock and standing in front of him. It was her first show of emotion. At least it was outrage he was leaving and not excitement. “But you just got here.”
“I know, but I got called back to base. I have to go.” It was a fact he was regretting taking that call, but he couldn’t ignore the summons.
“Is it going to be another ten years before you come back?”
“Bobby asked me the same thing.” Those two were more like twins than siblings spaced five years apart. “It won’t be so long this time. The reason I was gone so long was I wanted to prove something, so I stayed away to stay focused on my career.”
“And now?” she asked carefully. He noticed her face was neutral, trying not to give away her emotions like she had that morning.
Chase knew if he wanted to have a chance of winning her over, he had to be the first one to confess his feelings because he already knew she cared about him.
Why else would she wait to give him the gift of her virginity?
And he had only hurt her in return. He had to be the one to extend the olive branch now.
“I want to come back more. I forgot how much I missed it here. The people, Bobby, and your folks are great. But mostly you.”
CJ blinked as if she had trouble understanding his words. “What about me?”
Chase took a step closer to her. He reached out and took her hands in his. He noted how cold and shaky hers were. He looked her deep in the eyes, letting all of his emotions he had hidden away all these years out for the first time. “I’ve missed you, CJ.”
Emotions swirled in her face, ever changing like a kaleidoscope. Joy, fear, happiness, sadness, relief, to disbelief. “No, you didn’t. You forgot about me. I was just the annoying kid sister who always tagged along because I didn’t want to be left behind.”
“Never.” He shook his head. “I could never forget about you.” Several times over the years he had thought about her.
Wondering about the woman she had become.
Remembering their youth and all of their memories.
“I never have.” He took a deep breath and laid it all on the line.
“I care about you, CJ. You’ve never been far from my thoughts.
You were fun as a kid, and yes, I used to think of you as a kid sister, but when you matured, my feelings changed. ”
“Oh, Chase, I can’t think of a time I didn’t like you. It wasn’t just until puberty that my feelings grew.” She looked down toward her feet in shame. “I know I shouldn’t have taken advantage of you not knowing it was me, but I wanted to show you how it could be between us.”
He put his finger under her chin and forced her to look up at him. Tears pooled in her eyes. He couldn’t have that. He didn’t want to ever cause her sadness again. “I have a confession. I knew it was you at the bar.”
“What?” she asked in disbelief. Her eyes widened in shock.
“How could I not?” He chuckled, his hand sliding up to cup her face.
He sighed when CJ leaned into his touch.
He wasn’t completely forgiven, but he had just cleared a major hurdle.
“You have that same go-getter attitude you’ve always had.
I also know your eyes. So open and honest. This cute mouth.
” His thumb swiped over her bottom lip he couldn’t wait to kiss again.
“And freckle.” He lowered his hand to her collarbone and pointed to her freckle.
CJ looked down to where he was pointing then back up at him.
“I can’t believe you knew.” At least she wasn’t angry with him.
“Like you, I developed a crush when you went through puberty. Seeing you at the bar and coming onto me, I thought you didn't know it was me, so I didn’t say anything.”
“I’d know you anywhere.”
“Same.” It didn’t matter how much time spanned between them, he would always recognize her.
He had memorized her body over the years and held onto the fantasy since she’d hit puberty and filled out into every man’s fantasy.
He knew it was wrong to fantasize about her, but he couldn’t have stopped it any more than the sun rising.
“I wanted that memory too.” To have more than just a fantasy to cling to, but a memory to look back on.
“Why didn’t you say anything?” She punched him in the chest, though her blow was light as a feather. She didn’t want to hurt him. “Why make a big deal? Say all those hurtful things.”
It was the one thing he would regret for the rest of his life.
He closed his eyes and lowered his head in shame.
“I was embarrassed and knew I shouldn’t have given in.
I was angry at myself and took it out on you.
” He looked at her, letting all his remorse show.
“I’m sorry. Can you forgive me and give me a chance?
Can you care for me as much as I care for you? ”
She reached up and cupped his cheek and gifted him a radiant smile that was like a balm to his heart. “Of course, I can forgive you. I love you, Chase. I’ve always loved you.”
Chase pulled her into his arms. He was probably squeezing her too tight, but she didn’t protest. He lowered his head and planted a soft kiss on her lips then rested his forehead against hers, just breathing her in, happy to have her back in his arms. “Come to base with me.”
He felt her stiffen at his question, and Chase worried he was pushing her too quickly. “What?”
He pulled back so he could look her in the eyes.
She didn’t look frightened by his request, just caught off guard.
He simply needed to convince her he was sincere.
“I know it’s sudden, and I have no right to ask, especially given my attitude, and I know I’d be asking you to give up a lot, but I want us to have a real chance.
” He didn’t want to do a long-distance relationship, and he didn’t know how much time he would have to come back and forth.
Now that he’d confessed his feelings, he didn’t want them to be apart.
CJ chuckled. “Chase, I own my own business; I can easily move.”
Was she saying what he was hoping she was saying? It wasn’t a no, but she wasn’t saying yes either. “I love you, Cindy Lou.” he said, realizing he hadn’t said it yet. Maybe that was what was holding her back from responding.
Her face pulled into a grimace. “You know I hate that name.”
He kissed the tip of her nose, loving they could be playful again. He hoped they could always be like this. He knew there would be arguments, but he was willing to face it all to be with her. “I’ll call you whatever you want, just give us a chance.”
“Yours. I just want to be yours.”
“Forever.” It was a vow he would carry to his death—which he hoped was a long, long time from now. He planned to do a lot of living with CJ, starting now.