Chapter Six
MIA
I groaned as I trudged down the hallway to the bathroom. My head pounded out of control. I needed Advil, water, and food. More than likely in that order.
What the hell was I thinking last night? I was only twenty-nine, for fuck’s sake. Was this my body’s way of telling me I couldn’t drink like I used to?
Avoiding looking in the mirror over the sink, I pulled the Advil from my medicine cabinet and took two. I stopped short in the hallway, bracing myself on the wall as I thought back to the night before. How the hell did I get home?
And then it came back to me. Oh God.
I brought my fingers to my lips as the memory of kissing Zack inundated me. Walking slowly to my open bedroom door, clearly dreading what might be behind it, I peeked in and…
Let out one hell of a relieved breath. No one else was here.
Thank God!
But wait… Did we have sex and he left?
My face felt hot just thinking about it. Casual relationships were a thing for me. Drunken one-night stands, not so much. But with Zack? I didn’t even like him. I smiled. Well, most of the time. I had to admit he could definitely kiss. I liked him plenty then.
Before I could think more about the night and start piecing it all together, my phone rang from somewhere in the living room. I fished it out of my purse and sighed. Lyla. If I didn’t answer, she would just continue to call.
I gave in and swiped answer, bringing the phone to my ear. “Hey.”
“What happened with Zack last night?”
It was just like her to jump right in with a question like that. No “hey, how ya feeling?” Just bam! Right for the tea. And she didn’t even pause enough to allow me to answer.
“And Zack? Really? I thought you couldn’t stand him. You know Nicole is going to be so hurt.”
Wait, what? It wasn’t like they were dating or anything. But she did really like him. I flinched. Jesus. I suck.
Lyla paused to take a breath and I jumped at the opportunity to assure her, “Nothing happened. At least, I don’t think anything did.”
“You don’t remember?”
What did I remember? I remembered walking to his Jeep. Gorgeous red thing that would probably be so much fun with the top and doors off.
“It’s a bit hazy after we left the bar.”
“Well, I saw you guys kissing back by the bathrooms.”
“Oh.” I sighed and poured myself a glass of water, leaning back against the kitchen counter, trying to remember what happened once we got here last night.
“But he texted Adam last night after he dropped you off and said you were home safe and nothing happened.”
Was he disappointed that nothing happened? Or relieved? And why did I care? Wait…did I care?
Fuck. One thing at a time.
I closed my eyes, replaying the night, and cringed thinking about how I threw myself at Miles and then at Zack.
“I’m sorry about how I acted last night. It’s not an excuse, but I had a really hard day and I handled it like shit.”
She sighed. “I know.”
“And I know what you’re going to say.”
“Therapy could really help, Mia. It’s not something to be ashamed of.”
And there it was. The same song and dance about getting the help I obviously needed. I knew she meant well. I was just getting more frustrated every time someone brought it up.
“I’m not ashamed. I just don’t want to talk about it.”
This was a conversation Lyla and I had quite frequently. Maybe she was right. I didn’t know at this point. But I needed to figure it out sooner rather than later, before I did more stupid things like last night.
“No,” Lyla said, her voice a bit muffled. “I doubt she’d want to. It’ll be awkward.”
Was she talking to me?
“What would be awkward?”
She hesitated before saying, “Adam told me to invite you to breakfast. We’re heading to the diner in twenty minutes.”
“Why would that be awkward?” On cue, my stomach rumbled loudly. I would much prefer diner food to whatever scraps I had in my apartment.
A heavy sigh came through the line. “Zack’s coming too.”
Oh. I smiled. Maybe he could fill me in on what did or didn’t happen last night.
A memory flashed through my mind, and I gasped.
My face heated from embarrassment. “I threw up and then cried on him.”
Damn. No wonder nothing happened last night.
“What?” Lyla chirped and then followed it up with a laugh. “You didn’t!”
“I totally did.” I started to bend over, giggling, but my head reminded me we were still woefully hungover, and I straightened and braced myself against the counter again. “Sobbed like a baby. He probably thinks I have a split personality disorder or something.”
“Yeah, you probably don’t want to come to breakfast then.”
I shrugged. Not that she could see that. “Nah, I’ll come. It beats going grocery shopping and cleaning my apartment on my day off.”
“Ok. You sure?”
“Yup.” Well, just one problem. “Any chance you guys can pick me up and take me to my car?”
“Of course.”
I wasn’t looking forward to the teasing I knew was coming from Zack. But then again, I deserved it after the way I’d acted. The least I could do was clear the air and apologize.
And then I needed to get my shit together.
After Adam and Lyla dropped me at my car, I stopped to get gas before heading over to the diner.
I pulled up in front, parking next to Zack’s Jeep.
It really was a nice ride, and I was extremely happy I’d waited to puke until I was outside the vehicle the night before.
I offered a silent apology for my behavior, again, then headed inside to find everyone.
They were sitting a few booths away from the door, so I squared my shoulders, took a deep breath, and strode over.
Adam and Zack sat on one side with their backs to me and Lyla waved from the other side. I took two steps and froze when Zack looked at me over his shoulder. His smile was genuine, but it was the heat in his gaze that had my feet rooted to the floor.
Dammit. I really hoped he didn’t think anything was going to happen between us. That would be my luck. Serve me right, too. Getting all damn emotional. Who knows what I said. Or did.
I sighed and continued forward, taking the seat next to Lyla. “I’m starving,” I blurted out and opened my menu, leaving no question where my entire focus was. “And I definitely need more water.”
“Order some pickles.” Zack glanced at me over his menu.
I scrunched up my nose at the thought.
He chuckled. “Who doesn’t like pickles?”
“They’re fine on a burger or sandwich, but gross by themselves.”
“I’m with Mia on this one.” Adam pointed at me as he smirked at Zack. “You’re the only psycho who eats pickles for fun.”
“I must like the taste of salty things.”
The way he said it as he stared at me gave me the impression there was a deeper meaning beneath his words.
The waitress came and took our orders, and I did, in fact, skip the pickles. Because, gross. Then I leaned back, folded my arms across my chest, and waited for the teasing to start.
But it never came. Instead, Zack spent the next five minutes teasing Adam about the weird foods he liked to eat. And he did like some weird foods. I mean, come on. Cheddar cheese on apple pie? Who did that?
Finally, Zack stole a glance over at me and I couldn’t take it anymore. I wanted to get it over with, so I decided I would open the door instead. “Thank you for driving me home last night.”
He gave me a brief nod. “You’re welcome.” He held my gaze, nothing but sincerity in it, and I bit the inside of my cheek.
Why was he holding back? It was kind of pissing me off. I didn’t deserve his kindness after the way I’d acted.
And then it dawned on me. Maybe this was his plan—make me squirm. It was like he knew his silence was making me uncomfortable, and I was playing right into it. Nope. Not gonna happen. Time to take back control of the situation.
Lyla cleared her throat. “Yeah, that was really nice of him.”
“Totally,” I purred. “Although he did think he was going to get laid.”
Zack laughed, leaning back and crossing his arms. “Oh, Raven. That was never going to happen.”
“Really?” I raised a brow, taunting him. “Because I recall you being very interested.”
The corner of his lips lifted into a slight smirk. God, I hated it. It dripped with arrogance, and the stupid little dimples that appeared annoyed me.
Lyla sighed, looking across at Adam. “I told you this was a bad idea.”
I could hear the discouragement in her voice, and I internally scolded myself. Why did I let Zack bring out the worst in me?
“I’m sorry. And I appreciate you inviting me.” I bumped her shoulder and turned back to look at Zack. “Look, I’m sorry for the way I acted last night.” His eyes widened like that was the last thing he expected me to say. Join the club, buddy. “Can we just forget it happened and move on?”
He studied me with a hardness I wasn’t used to seeing from him. And for much longer than I would have liked. I almost expected him to say no. Like my idea irritated him.
“Sure thing,” he finally said with an air of disappointment.
Lovely. It was almost as if he was pouting.
What did he want from me? To admit I actually wanted to have sex with him.
That I needed to feel something other than sadness.
That his touch, just his proximity, made me feel alive.
Made me forget about the pain. And I was desperate for more of that feeling.
The awkward silence was unbearable. Considering he rarely shut up, this was usually what I wanted. Now? It was torture. I wanted to scream, but that wasn’t going to help, and I had no clue what else to do. I apologized. Wasn’t that enough?
Although, sometimes actions were stronger than words.
I took a deep breath and pulled out my phone. With a semi-forced smile, I slid it across the table to him.
He looked from the phone up to my face and raised a brow.
“Call it a temporary ceasefire.” I tapped the phone. “Put your number in.”
He smiled like a kid on Christmas morning, and for some godforsaken reason, my stomach flipped. Maybe the alcohol did something to my brain last night, because I actually found it kind of cute. Damn dimples and all.