Chapter 13 #2
“He’s lived with that stone since the day he was born, and yet he would still give his life for you.”
Tamar looked away in shame and guilt.
Teresa continued, “You and I know that you secretly blame yourself for Joel’s perfidy and after all these years still believe you somehow missed a sign or a warning, or something that should’ve alerted you to the truth about him.
You blame your brother Thadeus, which is where some of the blame truly lies.
Blaming yourself has kept you from fully loving your son.
Malachi didn’t choose to be sired by his father, and neither did Aaron.
Let those two live out their last years together as brothers with your blessings.
Forgiveness is a choice, Little T. You don’t have to forgive Joel, but forgive yourself.
The only thing you are guilty of is loving a man who was unworthy of your heart and soul. ”
WHEN TAMAR OPENED her eyes, she was so tired and weak she wanted to slide back into sleep, but she didn’t know if she was dreaming or where she was.
Looking around the unfamiliar space, she saw Mal asleep in a chair.
Forcing herself to stay focused, she slowly glanced around the room’s interior and, seeing all the machines and the IVs in her arms, she wondered what she was doing in what appeared to be a hospital room.
On that thought, her eyes slid closed again.
The next time they opened, Mal was standing by the bed looking down at her. “Welcome back,” he said quietly. He appeared as exhausted as she felt.
“Where am I?” she asked in a voice barely above a whisper.
“Hospital. You had a heart attack. Helicopter brought you here.”
“Oh. I don’t remember. I do remember talking to Aunt Teresa.”
“When was this?”
“Today? Yesterday. I don’t know. What day is it?”
“Today’s Thursday. You’ve been here almost five days. You had surgery Monday morning, and it went well. You’re groggy because of the pain meds you’re on. How’s Teresa doing?”
Her reply was soft and wavering. “She wants me to take the stone out my heart that’s blocking my love for you.”
That was as far as the conversation went before Tamar drifted back into sleep.
TINA’S RIBBON CUTTING for the opening of her B then, because they seemed afraid she was going to do more than speak if they didn’t answer, they each quietly offered their names.
She responded with a cold smile. “Now, that wasn’t so difficult, was it?”
They collectively shook her their heads.
“So, second lesson of the day. There’s this thing called consent. Do you know what that means?”
They stood frozen. The surgeon appeared furious.
“Consent means, after you introduce yourself to your patients, you ask them if it’s okay to check their stitches or whatever else you’ve come to do. Your patients are people just like you are. They are not animals in a zoo.”
The surgeon’s face turned bright red.
“Remember that when you become full-fledged doctors. Patients will respect you if you treat them with respect and not like you were raised in a barn.”
The redhead’s name was Virginia Werner, so Tamar said, “Ms. Werner, proceed.”
“Hi, my name is Dr. Virginia Werner, and you are?”
“Tamar July,” she replied with a smile.
“May I check your stitches?”
“Certainly.”
It took them only a few minutes to do the exam, and as the surgeon explained to them what to look for and all that, he never made eye contact with Tamar. She didn’t care.
A nurse who’d been in the room during Tamar’s lesson clapped when they left. “Can we keep you?” she asked. “He’s the biggest jerk on staff.”
She definitely had made an impression but couldn’t decide if it was good or bad. She was transferred to a rehab facility two hours later.
She spent ten days in rehab, and by the time she was released, her leg was in better shape but not totally healed. She was advised to continue the therapy at home and that it could take as little as a few weeks to up to three months for her to feel like her old self again.
ON TAMAR’S RELEASE day, Mal drove over to the rehab place to bring her home.
He helped her out of the wheelchair and into the front seat of his truck before placing the chair in the bed.
He waited while she thanked the aides for taking such good care of her, and he did the same.
Once he joined her inside, he asked, “Ready for home?”
“Yes,” she replied with emphasis. “I can’t wait to sleep in my own bed.”
As he merged onto the interstate for the hours-long trip, she debated how to tell him what she wanted to say.
After the way they’d parted the day he left to visit Aaron, she had no easy answers for herself, so hoping the words would come, she asked instead, “Did I tell you I spoke with Aunt Teresa?”
“You did. You fell asleep before you could finish, though, but that’s okay, I don’t need to hear the rest.”
“But I need to tell you the rest. How far did I get?”
“Something about a stone in your heart.”
“Yes.” She paused for a moment, once again stymied by what she wanted to say and, more importantly, needed to say.
He was her son, and she’d spent multiple decades secretly resenting his presence in her life.
He was owed so much more than words, but they were all she had to offer.
So she proceeded to tell him as much as she remembered about her dream-state visit: the owl, the mountains, and that it was the same place she’d visited when Eula was dying.
“Teresa was cooking a rabbit on a spit. She told me to go back to my life on this plane and remove the stone in my heart because it was blocking my love for you.”
“Ah.”
“And she was right. I’m so sorry to have failed you all these years, Malachi.”
“No apologies needed, Tamar.”
“Yes, they are, and I need to own this. Trent told me I was waging war against a dead man, meaning Joel, and how futile it was, and he’s right.”
“Smart boy, that Trent.”
“He is. I wish I’d figured that out on my own before we had that argument on my porch.
I was wrong, Mal. You and Aaron aren’t responsible for what happened on my wedding day, or for my hurt and pain.
” She went silent for a moment as she mentally recalled Teresa’s words.
“You and Aaron have a right to know each other, and I have no business interfering. Who knows, maybe I’ll get to know him too. ”
“I’d like that.”
“Would you?”
“I would. He’s a pretty nice guy.”
“I owe him an apology for shooting at him.”
“Yeah, you do, but I think he’ll be open to accepting it.”
“Once I’m stronger, maybe the three of us can get together and go fishing or something.”
“Sounds like a plan. And, Tamar, how about we lay this whole thing to rest and just enjoy life like it was meant to be enjoyed in the time we have left?”
“That sounds great. I really do love you, Mal.”
“I know. I love you too.”
WHILE MAL DROVE Tamar home, Bernadine and the rest of the Ladies Auxiliary were together on a Zoom call making sure Tamar would be looked after once she returned. Marie volunteered to take the job.
Marie said, “She’s going to pitch a fit about me moving in with her until she gets back on her feet, but I don’t care. Mal, Trent, and I already discussed it. She’ll need some assistance whether she acknowledges it or not, and I do have home care experience.”
Bernadine said, “Thanks for volunteering, Marie. Now, do we still want to have Tamar Day?”
“Yes,” they all replied in unison.
Lily asked, “How about we have it on July Fourth? That’s a month and a few days from now. That should be enough time for her to be mostly recovered.”
Roni added, “And strong enough for her to turn that shotgun on us for our efforts.”
Everyone laughed. Bernadine liked the idea of celebrating on that day.
During the nineteenth century Black people didn’t celebrate July Fourth.
It made no sense to pay tribute to the nation’s independence when there were millions of the race enslaved in the South.
Choosing to celebrate Tamar instead worked for her and for the rest of the group, so they began to plan.
WHEN MAL ARRIVED at Tamar’s place, she checked out the familiar structure with loving eyes and smiled. “So glad to be home.”
He shut down the engine. “You stay put and let me get the wheelchair out of the back.”
She wanted to argue that she could make it up the steps with the aid of her cane, but she knew that was a lie, and he would, too, so she sat and waited.
He helped her into the chair, and she asked, “Do you have a plan on how to get the chair in the house?”
“Yes ma’am, I do.” And pushed her forward.
As they traveled around to the side of the house and toward the back, she noticed how smooth the ride was. She looked down at the cement walkway. “Is this fresh cement?”
“Yes.”
Puzzled and confused, she asked, “Where’d it come from?”
“Sidewalk elves.”
“Sidewalk elves,” she echoed, giving him an amused side-eye.
“Yeah. They work for Santa in the summertime. They’re members of the same labor union as the ramp elves.”
By then they’d rounded the house and were in the backyard, and that was when she spied the ramp leading up to her back porch: a sturdy wooden beauty that hadn’t been there before her heart attack. Her jaw dropped. “Oh my goodness,” she whispered in awe.
“You can thank the Head Elf, your grandson.”
Marie stepped out onto the porch from inside. “Welcome home.”
Still marveling at the ramp, Tamar said, “Thank you, Marie.”
Mal asked, “Are you ready to begin your ascent, your majesty?”
Teary eyed with gratitude for Trent’s gift, she chuckled. “Yes.”
Inside the house, Marie showed Tamar the new exercise bike Bernadine bought for her use. “She also made arrangements for a physical therapist to come three days a week to help you with your leg.” Once again, Tamar was thankful.
“And I’m moving in to take care of you for a while,” Marie announced.
Tamar stiffened. “Why?”
“Are you strong enough to be on your feet long enough to cook a meal?”
Silence.
“How about laundry? Can you strip your bed and put the sheets in the washer?”
Tamar knew she couldn’t do any of those things, at least not yet, so there was no sense in lying about that either. She sighed. “Point proven.”
“Good. I won’t be here any longer than necessary. I promise.”
“Okay.”
Pleased that there’d been no arguing, Mal said, “I’m going to get your suitcase out of the truck and then head home. Do either of you ladies need me for anything before I leave?”
Neither did.
He returned with her suitcase and placed it in her bedroom. “I’ll check on you two later.”
He gave them both a parting kiss on the cheek, then left.
After his departure, Marie asked Tamar, “Are you hungry?”
“Starving.”
“I’ll fix you something. After you eat, you can lie down. Will that work?”
“Yes.”
After eating, Marie helped Tamar into bed. “I’m not letting you have any visitors for a few days. I want you to rest up.”
“Okay.”
So thankful to be home, Tamar didn’t argue. She knew she and Marie would lock horns eventually, but at the moment, she was too exhausted for a fight, so she closed her eyes and slept.