Chapter 16 Harry
Harry
I’d rearranged my desk three times, changed my suit twice, and stared out the window as if it would somehow cool the red rage that had been festering in me since I discovered the truth.
Molly was coming back in a week. Cat and Co.
were full steam ahead with engagement party plans, which I couldn’t stop.
And my heart was quietly shattered in pieces on the floor.
I didn’t know if I could see him again. But we needed to have a conversation in a situation where I was calmer and more in control of myself.
I couldn’t shake the thought of what would have happened if Dom had come to me the morning after we first sexted.
If he’d just handed me the phone and confessed the truth, would it still have caused the waterfall of emotions that had been tearing through me since I first heard his voice in my office bathroom?
Would I feel this much for him if I hadn’t thought I had to hide my feelings? I kept glancing between my bathroom and the main door, hoping it would somehow give me answers or a way to fix this situation as I waited for Dom to walk through it.
I couldn’t get stuck on pointless questions. It wouldn’t change what had happened.
I closed my eyes, letting out a sigh as lust rolled through my body again. It was so fresh. Just the feel of Dom’s lips, his desperation, his need stronger than my own, and how he—
There was a buzz from the intercom. I pressed the button. “Yes?” I asked, as if I didn’t already know what it was.
“Mr Fischer.” Anita only ever called me that when someone else was present, “Dominic Outrem is here to see you.”
I lowered my tone to sound more professional. “Thank you, Anita. Send him in.”
I only had a moment to swallow down every little ounce of weakness and slip into the role of a true Fischer, the one where I imitated Dad.
Not Mum’s showtime smile, but Dad’s ruthless demeanour that had maintained the Fischer fortune for decades.
My ‘business face’ as Dom called it. The one I forced myself into when I left his flat five days ago.
My heart rose in my throat as the door opened and Dom entered. It was a long walk to my desk, but he locked his sharp blue eyes on me and strode forwards as if he owned the room.
Just the sight of him reignited the need that had been my constant companion. A navy suit, polished shoes, his jacket moulded over muscles. Muscles I wanted wrapped around me again as he pulled me to his lips.
But he looked, as Anita would say, ‘like shit’.
I hadn’t seen him so worn down before. Even when his family was pushing him to the edge or a case got to him, he still kept his head high. But the bags under his eyes were deep, his stubble long from days of not shaving and strangely stark against his skin, paler than the soft tan I tasted before.
Anita gently closed the door behind him, ready to guard it from her desk, which was far enough away from my office that she wouldn’t hear me shout if I ended up exploding. Not a single person would get past her when she was in dragon mode.
I expected Dom to look at least a bit remorseful, but all I could see was hard determination in his eyes.
“Have a seat.” I nodded to the chairs in front of my desk.
Dom’s eyes flicked around the room before he lowered himself into the chair closest to me. He blew out a breath, sweeping the hair out of his eyes. I couldn’t ignore how it was just long enough for me to run my fingers through.
“I didn’t think you’d want to see me again,” he said, those few simple words setting fireworks off inside me.
I clenched my jaw before replying. “I don’t. But this conversation needs to be had.”
“And we couldn’t do this over the phone.”
“I don’t exactly trust you with phones at the moment,” I replied as I narrowed my eyes.
“Hm.” He smirked. “Fair enough.”
I had to keep my breaths deep and remain calm. Even looking at him again was dredging up every memory I was dying to forget. My fingers twitched as my gaze panned over him.
I never had the chance to taste his cock.
Another pulse of lust flew through me, and I flicked my eyes back to his. I knew he’d caught me looking at his lips by how the sultry grin I both hated and loved spread across his face.
My anger reignited at his confidence. Had he really thought I was so weak that I was going to give in as soon as he smiled at me?
“I’m still trying to come to terms with what you did,” I said, clasping my hands together on top of the desk.
There was a pause before he replied. “And?”
“Don’t ask me as if you want me to explain myself.” I scowled. “You’re looking at me as if I could somehow magically forgive you.”
“No. I wouldn’t do that.” Dom furrowed his brow as he sighed. “But we’re here, aren’t we? So there’s a chance you might listen.”
I took another heavy breath, my fingers squeezing tight. The same sickness that had been eating at me for days swirled through my stomach along with my desire.
We had to leap into this straight away. I’d wanted the meeting to end as quickly as possible so I didn’t make any mistakes. The farther away he was from me, the safer I would be.
“Just because you love me doesn’t give you the excuse to do what you did.” I forced out the line that had been stuck with me since I left his flat.
Dom’s eyes widened in surprise, his lips parting as he leaned back in the chair. He dropped his gaze to the floor, silent. I’d wondered if he’d clamped up until he met my eyes with fresh vigour.
“I know.” His voice was rough, filled with pain I wish I didn’t feel as well. “There isn’t any excuse I could give you that would justify what I did.”
“I’m not going to bother with ‘whys’,” I continued. “You’ve made it pretty clear why you did it.”
“Do you mean before or after your cock was in my mouth?” He shot out.
It was my turn for silence as anger whipped through me.
I was too frustrated by how my face flushed, even though I was meant to be in charge of the conversation. Heat bloomed through my body, my already busy heart growing louder as Dom stared intensely. I knew he would make it about sex. I just didn’t think I would be unprepared.
“I thought we were being honest, not blunt,” I replied coldly. “I was referring more to the conversation before that event. But yes,” I said, adjusting in my seat like I could ease my discomfort. “If we’re being candid, you could say it was abundantly clear.”
Dom’s tongue darted out to stroke his bottom lip. “I know you liked it,” he teased, igniting a new wave of frustration. Why wouldn’t he take it seriously?
I’d seen him brush off so many people in the past, never interested in conversations that might ask him to reveal something real about himself. And I hated how he was doing it to me.
“Even if I did, it doesn’t take away from the fact that you spent a month pretending to be my fiancée to play some kind of sick game with me.
” I was proud of myself for not shouting at him.
Yet. Though my voice was strained, failing to hold back the hurt, the fury, and every other emotion that swam within me.
“Do you see how ridiculous this is?” I removed my hands, hiding them under my desk, though he didn’t need to see them to know what I was doing.
“Dom, do you actually understand how fucked up it is? Not a single person in their right mind would ever even consider doing something like this. How can you think this is somehow okay? That I could ever trust you again? Ever be comfortable around you again?”
As I fired out the questions, his demeanour shifted.
“I don’t,” he said, his tone laced with agony.
“I don’t for a second think that what I did to you was acceptable in any way.
But it was a drunken mistake, and I couldn’t stop, Harry.
” His sigh shuddered through me, hitting me where it hurt the most. “When I knew what you would do for me, when I knew you wanted it too... it was like the sane part of my mind just switched off, and all I could think about was how fucking sexy it would be to hold you as you stroked yourself.”
I bit my tongue, stopping myself from responding instantly.
I wished it hadn’t taken so much for me to realise I loved him.
“You didn’t stop, Harry,” Dom said quietly, looking at me through hooded eyes. “Even when I sent you the vibrator, you kept going.” He let out a long breath. “You told me how excited you were. How you had been thinking about it all the time.”
My eyes fluttered closed, and we sat there in silence as I gathered myself. “But it wasn’t you I was talking to,” I said with a push. “Don’t make this my fault.”
He wrapped his fingers around the arms of the chair. “But it was me you were thinking of, wasn’t it?”
More anger flared through me as my jaw clenched in frustration. “That is low,” I said. But considering what he had done so far, I shouldn’t be surprised that he would go there.
“It’s the truth, though.” He stared at me, watching for a reaction. “Would you have ever done something like this yourself if I hadn’t been there for you?”
He knew the answer as soon as he asked the question. But Dom didn’t know how I heard his voice every time I stroked myself, that it was so clear in my ears that I couldn’t even think about my cock without picturing his smile.
And he didn’t know that feelings I’d had buried for more than a decade had ripped me open and left me breathless. And he seemed to walk around without a single care in the world.
“It wasn’t you I wanted. I’ve been with Molly for three years. Why would you think—”
“And I’ve been with you for twelve!” he snapped, leaning forwards in his chair. “We’ve been together longer than anyone else you’ve dated.”
I stayed as still as I could. I couldn’t let myself falter.
I hadn’t thought of Dom that way. Out of all my friends, I believed we would be in each other’s lives, be it another ten, twenty, or thirty years.