Chapter 24 Harry
Harry
“Speech! Speech! Speech!”
Molly grabbed her pint, climbing onto her rickety chair, looking down at everybody gathered around us victoriously.
We'd come back to Paulie's for the announcement. But it didn't exactly hold good memories for me anymore.
I should have put a stop to the engagement party. But while I was passed out in bed, she’d gone full steam ahead.
Which resulted in me standing next to her, dead on my feet, watching our friends with an empty gaze.
From my side, only Jazz had made it as she had a break in her filming schedule.
And that was it. Cat was due to give birth in two months, Grace would never come, and Mum wouldn't be caught dead in a place like Paulie's unless it was a publicity stunt.
Plus, the only person at work I was close with was Anita.
All other guests were people I knew with or through Molly. And maybe I would lose them all if I ended things.
I could manage everything at work, but my social life was burning down around me.
“Now, I’m not one for making speeches—” Molly began.
“Liar!” Ralph shouted, and they all laughed. Completely relaxed, completely normal, exactly how it would be at any other engagement party.
Molly persevered with her speeches as I glanced around the room, searching for him even though my best man was missing.
Molly’s maid of honour, who was with me at A it was a lie. Because I was looking up at the woman I thought I had been falling in love with all over again, and I felt nothing.
No spike of love, no hint of excitement, no wonder at the life we were going to have together.
Not since I’d tasted Dom's lips as he pressed his body against mine and told me he loved me and—
No.
I wasn’t thinking about it again.
“And I wanted to say thank you to you all for your love and friendship over the years,” Molly continued. “You’re all wonderful people, and we’re so lucky to have you in our lives, just as Harry and I are lucky to be together!”
I watched her as she spoke, laughing and swaying about on her chair, and I realised then that I didn’t trust her. The moment she slammed the door behind me, something broke inside me, and it couldn't be fixed.
“And so, to Harry!” Molly lifted her pint, looking down to me, nothing in her expression or words to say that she comprehended the impact she’d had on me. “My love, my partner, and soon-to-be my husband!”
I was the worst person in the room.
There was more cheering and clapping, but it fell away, dead noise filling my ears.
It was wrong. It was all so wrong.
I called on all of Mum’s training. Every single time she told us not to show any real emotion, to hide it all down behind a smile so that people thought we were better than we actually were. It was all about appearance, and this was where I needed to play it up.
And I thought I'd gotten away with it. Until my gaze panned the room, landing on my sister glaring at me from the back of the crowd. Arms folded, eyes narrowed, I knew straight away she saw through it.
With her shock of silver hair, purple eyes, and elfish complexion, Jazz always stood out. And being six-foot-five in four-inch heels and a rippling gold dress in a pub filled with people in shirts and jeans helped. They circled her for selfies and autographs, so I could slip away and avoid her.
I knew Jazz would pester me as soon as she grabbed me. She hated the comparison but she definitely had Mum's tenacity.
Molly jumped down from the chair, throwing herself into my arms, her beer splashing onto the floor as she burst out laughing.
She pulled back; her face shining as I met her with an equal expression, a dark pit forming in my stomach as I saw she was going to kiss me.
Even after a week, my lips were still fresh with the taste of Dom.
There were too many people looking to avoid it.
The second she kissed me, I pulled back, her face dropping, quickly replaced with confusion.
I looked at her intensely, searching for something, anything that I could respond to her with.
I didn't know why I was still trying when I knew what I really wanted.
“Harry?” Molly furrowed her brow as I released her, keeping my body relaxed, my pose casual. That smile was still on my face, but I was close to bolting.
“I‘m still not feeling well; I’ll be back in a second,” I sounded so fake.
Molly still looked confused, and a wave of anger rolled through me. She still wanted things to be the same, even after all that. Even after everything she had done, she expected me to just fall back into our old pattern and carry on like nothing had changed.
Everything had changed. And it took Dom fucking it all up for me to see that.
I got halfway through the crowd before Jazz shot out an arm.
“Hey,” she forced me to stop. “What’s going on?”
I met her gaze, my real emotions showing through. “I’m really tired, Jazz.”
“Come on, it’s me. You can talk to me, you know that.”
I turned to her, looking at her openness and her concern.
I knew she really meant it, and if it wasn’t a party specifically for me, she would have dragged me out of there, taken me to a quieter VIP bar, and bullied the story out of me.
My sister was one of those obstinate people who forced her love on you, whether you wanted it or not.
“I’m fine. Really.” I tried to pull out of her grasp, but she wouldn’t let me go. I knew the uptight Fischer act would never work on her either.
“Right,” she said, her face softening as she eased her hold. “Where’s Dom?” she asked. I flinched back, my heart thudding. I’d been exposed so easily, and it only took two words.
“I need to go.” I yanked my arm back and nearly stumbled.
“Harry, please.” Her hurt beat from her, but I needed space. If we were alone, I would have let her see more of my pain, but I couldn’t do it when people were watching.
This is enough for you?
Dom’s voice was clear in my mind. I swallowed as I forced myself inside the bathroom, my heart racing. It felt like he said those words years ago, a lifetime, before everything changed so dramatically that I had no idea who I was anymore.