Chapter 26 Dom
Dom
Iwas out with my sisters when the phone rang. I promised I would take them on an evening cinema trip to see some new chick flick I gave so little fucks about. But it made them happy.
We were in the shopping centre, and they were crowded around one of those pop-up stalls selling sunglasses and phone cases.
“Dom, look!” Janie waved me over. A pair of huge fake Gucci sunglasses sat on the tip of her nose, and I burst into a grin as I moved towards them.
One day I'd be able to buy them things without Sally getting her grubby paws on it. I wanted to make them so many promises, but I was scared about breaking their hearts and watching their faces fall again because I was such an asshole.
I could still spend the week buying them everything they wanted before I took it back to my place so their things were there when they eventually visited me. And it was an easy way to distract them from the choice we needed to make about whether they were going home.
My phone buzzed in my pocket, and I slipped it out. The moment I saw the name, I froze.
Eyes widening, I sucked in a harsh breath, but I didn't hesitate. I needed to make sure I got him. My sisters were distracted enough that I could take the call and keep an eye on them at the same time.
I brought the phone up to my ear, answering instantly. “Harry? What’s wrong?”
The scratches on my face where Terry threw the bottle at me stung, but the world went silent as I listened out for any noise to tell me he was actually there.
The same tension that I felt every night before we started talking rose in me before he found out the truth.
Nervous, hesitant, excited, and guilty, all at the same fucking time.
But he didn’t reply. I heard him there, but nothing gave me any clue about what he was thinking or feeling.
“I’m right here, handsome. Tell me what you need.”
I nearly buckled as I caught the slightest moan. It was so small I almost missed it, but it was there. I knew that sound; I’d tasted that sound two weeks ago.
I chuckled, and like an absolute moron, I gave into my desire. Voice low, I showed him every ounce of lust beating through me. “At least this time I can tell you properly how sexy you are when you moan for me.”
There was another stuttered breath, the cord of tension between us reaching its limit as the phone went dead with a beep.
I stood there, numb; the phone pressed to my ear.
“Fuck,” I hissed. Disappointment and regret instantly flooded me, and I thought I was going to puke.
I was such a fucking idiot.
Was it really worth it? Out of all the things I could have said, that was really the best I could do?
I could have said literally anything else under the sun, and that was what I went with? Like I was just fucking around with him instead of trying to make up for the worst mistake of my life?
How was he ever going to trust me if I couldn't be real with him when it mattered the most?
It was another sign I needed to remember who the fuck I was, because I couldn't be good enough for Harry Fischer.
“Dom, hurry up!” Tammy shouted, snapping me out of it.
I shook my head, unable to rescue my plunging heart. At least I could suffocate my regret with their bright smiles, though it would come back with a vengeance.
I thought I hated myself before, but it was nothing compared to how easily I stepped back into the role of their big brother, as if everything with Harry didn't matter.
Tammy and Janie had picked their sunglasses. All they needed now was my magic bank card, and the evening would be set.
I could text him, apologise, tell him I really wanted to talk. But his opinion of me was already so low, and I’d said everything I’d wanted to say.
Even though I kept telling myself I wasn't worthy, I couldn't convince myself to stop. Maybe begging him to forgive me one more time could help.
Instead, I shot off a quick text before switching it to silent and followed my sisters into chick-flick hell.