Chapter 28
Harry
After all my bravado, I wasn’t sure how to start the conversation, considering it had been years since I’d broken up with someone. And it had never been for a spectacular reason such as discovering that my best friend was posing as my fiancée to sext me, especially post-engagement announcement.
It had been a few hours since we left the pub, and she knew something was wrong. I was sure that was why she had been extra clingy.
I had told her I was ill and needed to go home, which resulted in her clamping onto my arm and forcing me to talk to people. Or rather, she talked and I stood there like an ornament.
It was interesting if I viewed it completely subjectively.
Molly knew my aversion to making a scene meant I wouldn't fight to get away, which resulted in my fingers digging into my thighs as I sat facing her on our sofa because I was so frustrated.
It was exactly the same position we had when she announced she wanted to take a break.
Molly had a hopeful expression on her face, our knees touching, a cup of tea warming her palms as she watched me, which really made everything worse.
We’d been together long enough that I knew her temperament, and if I instantly launched into ‘I want to break up’, it might result with the tea dumped on my head. And I really liked the sofa.
“So, what did you want to talk about?” she asked.
I thought I would be used to guilt by now, but it still beat inside me. I needed to remind myself that I wasn’t the only one in the wrong, even though I messed up so badly and went that far with Dom.
Technically Molly and I hadn’t been together, at least in her mind, but almost everything I went through was under the pretext that we would still be engaged when she returned.
But she said she hadn't seen it as an engagement in the first place, despite that party mainly being for her, rather than us.
Because she was very happy to continue having fun while I had a breakdown in the bathroom until Ralph came to check on me half an hour later.
“Is it about setting up a meeting with your mum for the wedding plans? Because if you just give me her number, I can work on that myself. She already said she had booked somewhere for a party and she even wanted to invite some reporters! So we definitely need to prepare for that in advance.”
Anger whipped through me so quickly that I almost choked as my eyes widened. I couldn’t believe she’d said that when she had barely landed twenty-four hours ago.
“You are not meeting my mother,” I said coldly, and confusion creased her face.
“Why not? It makes sense for the bride and the mother of the groom to liaise, especially when she’s paying for most of it.”
I didn’t want to shout at her, but the anger that had burst from me when I first discovered Dom’s betrayal was clawing at me as I stared at her. She had no clue what she was even saying.
“You’ve avoided my mum as much as you could the entire time we’ve been together. You never have a kind word to say about her whenever I bring her up, and yet you want to start a relationship with her now that she’s suddenly paying for something?”
I wanted to ease into it gently, but it looked like I hadn’t dealt with my feelings over the situation after all.
“It’s a marriage, Harry. It’s not just what I want to do.”
“And have you asked me at all since you returned if I want to be with you? Because, as far as I can see, you have simply told me you want to get married, and then run around arranging things without consulting me.”
“But you made it clear that you didn’t want to be involved in the wedding process,” she said, focusing on entirely the wrong thing.
“And when did I say that? Was it during the conversation where you asked me how I’ve been since you left for Norway? Or was it when you asked me how the vote went? Or how about when you announced our engagement to all of our friends before confirming anything with me?”
She paused like she was trying to remember when we had those conversations, but there would be nothing there.
“We haven’t spoken properly once since you came back. And you used to repeatedly tell me over and over again how we had no time for each other. Then, when I was ill, you ran around making plans for yourself without a second thought about the person who was going to be most involved with them.”
“But I didn’t want to put any pressure on you.”
“Then why did you leave in the first place!? I know you don’t care about what I do for work, but I wished that you cared that I find it important. But the vote hasn’t crossed your lips once since you returned.”
“I didn’t need to ask about it though, because I knew you would win. There was no way you weren’t going to beat out your mum. Anyway, I saw on the news that you won, and I’ve been so busy since I got back that I forgot to say congratulations.”
I squeezed my eyes closed, because my anger flared up even more fiercely.
It felt like a repeat of the conversation I had with Dom after I told him to get out of my life, except that Dom admitted that he had messed up.
He tried to apologise, despite arguing with me.
And, even though it was a stupid reason, he said that he had been doing it for me the whole time.
He defended himself, yes, but it wasn’t the same kind of ignorance that Molly seemed to have.
“So you could connect to the internet?”
“Well, yeah, it wasn’t like we were buried under a million feet of snow. It was summer, so it was pretty rainy. I would have totally messaged you if there was some kind of emergency. It’s just the signal is terrible up there, which is why I didn’t call.”
I focused on taking slow breaths instead of letting myself explode like I wanted to.
I remembered shouting at mum for actively choosing to embezzle from The Foundation, and Molly was also making a choice I couldn’t understand.
Not even one message to ask how I was during her whole stay. Had I been asking for too much?
“Anyway, you never tried to get in touch with me, so it’s just pot calling kettle black,” she said, folding her arms as if she had won an argument we hadn’t even started.
But my heart stung as I thought of the way I’d betrayed her so much more severely than she had me.
My feelings for Dom still beat strongly within me.
I had to remind myself that I wasn’t breaking up with her for Dom.
My relationship with Dom sat outside of what I had with Molly, but I needed to cut ties with her before I could really consider where I wanted things to go with him.
“Did you ever think about how it would feel for me to be put in that situation? From what I can see, you didn't even care what it meant to have to deal with that on top of the vote after you left.”
“Well, you could have come with me. And you're really strong and you can endure anything, so I knew you would be okay. It just proves how much you love me that you waited for me to get back like that, and it makes me want to marry you even more.”
I sighed again as I watched her.
Dom had been gone for weeks, and he texted me every day, called me at night, and tried to reach me as much as he could.
I knew I was an asshole for not responding to him, but he would be there if I called him at any time.
Though I felt like as soon as I returned his call, it would open the floodgates, and I wasn’t ready to deal with my feelings for him.
And his response would be entirely different to Molly’s if I called him out of the blue.
Cat had said that Dom had been worried about me since I first told him I was engaged, and that marriage was a huge thing for him.
She used the word ‘fret’, but I couldn’t imagine Dom ever fretting over someone, even though his attentiveness to myself, Cat and Grace, and his sisters was definitely something to be grateful for.
No matter what arguments Dom and I had, we always returned to each other, we spoke about both sides of our story, and then resolved things, even if it took time. I didn’t know if we could ever get over what he’d done, but I was certain he would be open to talking about it if I asked.
Whereas Molly seemed to believe I would endure anything she gave me because I loved her.
I was looking for security and comfort in my life, and knowing that Molly may suddenly break up with me at any time and leave for however long she wanted had ripped that away from me.
Not that Dom was any better, but at least I knew where he was, and he updated me on what was happening with his family.
I didn’t realise that Molly had been talking the entire time because I was too busy thinking about Dom. As I zoned back in, I realised she had moved back onto wedding plans, and what colour scheme she wanted, along with booking a dress fitting with Mum.
It was like her eyes had glazed over as she looked around the room, smiling as she talked about how glad she was to be home, how we should get Mr Snuggles a suit, how she wanted to go back to work to tell her friends more details about the wedding.
Did she even see me as a person? I knew her sister had always been tickled by the wealth of my family, so maybe she pushed Molly back in that direction. Before Molly left, her main concern was the hospital, so where had her newfound need to become involved in my family’s life come from?
I was worried that by breaking up with Molly, I would lose my connection to my friends at the hospital, but if they were really my friends, they wouldn’t stop talking to me just because of that.
I’d been close to most of them longer than I’d known Molly, and if I was important to them, they would stay in contact, just like Dom had.
Molly kept talking, and the longer her words ran over me, the more alienated I felt. It was as if I wasn’t even sitting here, and she was just talking into empty space. I wondered how long that had been going on; I had just been too tired to pay attention to it.
“I want to break up,” I said, cutting through her stream of chatter.
There was a pause, but I could tell it hadn’t sunk in for her before she even started talking again.
“Sure, we can take another break if that’s what you need. I have to get stuck back into work so I’m sure we’ll find time in a few weeks to talk about it.”
“No, not that nonsense.” My hands shook as I continued. “I’m done with us. That was all too much for me. I don’t have anything left in myself to give to you anymore.” It was blunt, but I needed to be firm when she seemed determined to talk about the wedding that was never going to happen.
Her teeth gritted and her gaze flashed as she quickly changed.
“What the hell are you talking about? What do you mean you want to break up?” she snapped.
My eyebrows rose, but I didn’t know why I was still surprised at her reactions. I took a page out of her book and kept speaking until I was done.
“You can have the house, I’ll stay at a flat my parents have in Central London until I find somewhere closer to The Foundation building, though there are a number of things I want to take with me, which we can discuss later.
I believe Mr Snuggles will be happier if he stays here.
I’d prefer it if you informed our friends that the engagement is dissolved, since you were so eager to spread the news about the wedding, and I’ll inform my family of the change. ”
She slammed her cup onto the coffee table as her scowl deepened. “You’re breaking up with me? Just like that? How long have you been planning this?”
I was pretty sure I asked her the same question when the tables were turned.
“Well, I don’t have a reason to stay here anymore. And you had no issue breaking up with me five minutes before you disappeared to your parents’, so I don’t see why I should pay you any liberties.”
“You’re joking!?” she yelled. A flash of orange zipped by as Mr Snuggles fled to the bedroom.
“Harry, are you fucking kidding me?” her voice rose, and I instantly lost interest in dealing with her.
If it was an argument with Dom, he would have least tried to calm himself down before he thought about what he was going to say.
Molly started shouting, and it was the same as when she talked about her wedding plans. A stream of consciousness that didn’t actually involve me, and my contribution to it wouldn’t mean anything until she had worn herself out.
I didn’t expect her to throw things like Mum would have, and I wanted to give her time to collect herself instead of reacting like that. So, I did what she did to me.
I stood up, gathered my bag, and left.