12. Callum #3
He rolls his eyes, still getting used to the protection Lynx insists he has for the time being. “Fine.”
They kiss goodbye, not just a peck either, and I look away, focusing on my feet while trying not to feel jealous at the love and desire and everything else rolling off them. When they’re done, I move away from the door so Morgan can open it and leave.
Lynx closes it after him and then sits on the edge of the table, facing me, arms crossed. “Talk to me, Cal.”
“I’m sorry about what happened with Morgan.”
He waves away my apology. “Morgan can handle himself. You don’t need to apologise for having a fucking argument.”
We stand in silence while I sort out my thoughts. “He’s going to hate me when he finds out what we are.”
Lynx blows out a breath. “He might.” He nudges my foot with his. “How close have you got, exactly?”
“We’ve not fucked, if that’s what you’re asking?”
“It wasn’t. But okay.”
He waits me out, and I know I’m not getting out of here that easily.
I pull out the chair next to him and sit, elbows resting on the table.
The stylised wolf etched into the wood stares back at me and I trace the edge with my fingers.
“We’ve only got each other off once,” I admit.
Images of Ash naked beneath me flood my mind and I close my eyes.
“The other times I just held him while he slept.”
“Held him, huh?”
“Yeah.”
“So it’s not just about sex.”
“No.” I look up at him. “But you already knew that.” I told them all as much at the start of the meeting.
He smiles wryly, “Yeah, I guess I did.”
“It’s only been a couple of days, Lynx. What the fuck?”
“You know it doesn’t work like that for us. Time doesn’t—”
I shoot him a glare because, of course, I fucking know. “It’s not like you and Morgan.” Ash isn’t my fated mate, my soulmate. Whatever this thing is between us, it’s evolved over the short time I’ve got to know him, not snapped into place the second we kissed. “We’re not . . . not that.”
“But you’re something.”
“Yeah.” I look down at my hands, still tracing the edges of the wolf. “I think we could be. If things were different.” I can’t even say if he wasn’t human, because I like that about him. I like that he’s not part of this life, but that’s a problem in itself.
“Does he feel the same?”
“I don’t know.” I glance up to find those stormy blue eyes watching me intently.
“He finds me attractive.” I swallow hard at the memory of him coming undone underneath me.
“But he’s hurting. Maybe I’m just a convenient place for him to find comfort.
” I shrug, not finding that thought appealing in the least. “I don’t think that’s all it is, but—” I slump in my seat, defeat taking hold again.
“Like I keep saying, none of it’ll matter soon anyway. ”
“Then why torture yourself?” He takes a deep breath in, and I brace myself. I’m not going to like what he says next. “If you can’t see this going anywhere, then maybe you should take a step back. For both your sakes. Let someone else watch over him.”
No.
“Cal.” His hand lands on my shoulder, grip hard, grounding.
“If you keep spending the night with him, regardless of whether you’re fucking or not, whatever it is you feel now is only going to get stronger.
More intense. And if knowing what we are ends up being too much for Ash, then it’s going to fucking hurt. ”
“Yeah, it is.” It already does. Staying away seems pointless when the damage is done.
He gives my shoulder a small shake. “I mean it. Let someone else take tonight’s watch.”
My knee-jerk reaction is absolutely fucking not. But he’s not saying this to be an arsehole, so I give him the only truth I can. “I’ll try.”
“Good.” He lets go and waits for me to stand before fitting his hand to my throat and bringing our foreheads together. “Promise me you’ll at least give it an hour before you cave and go inside.”
A laugh escapes me. He knows me so fucking well. “I promise.” At least this is one I can keep. His scent surrounds me, the safety and protection only an alpha can offer.
We’re not your average shifter pack. Lynx doesn’t use his power to keep his pack in line. He rarely uses it at all, especially not with the members of our MC.
But sometimes we need it. Need it on a primal level that goes beyond words. It’s instinct that makes me close my eyes and sink into the comfort he’s offering. That makes me tilt my head and offer my throat, and forces out a shaky exhale as his nose skims the column of my neck.
When he finally steps back, I’m settled in a way I feel in my core. Grounded in mind and body, and it lets me repeat the promise I made him. “I’ll try and stay away.” He’s given me the strength to do my best. I wonder if it’ll be enough.
“Come on.” Lynx reaches for the door and pulls it open with a sigh. “Let’s go talk to Nico and Luke.” He gives me a grim smile and squeezes my shoulder, because we both know how bad this is going to be. Their stories are harsh and brutal, but they need to tell them, and we need to fucking listen.