Callum
Goddess, help me, what have I done?
WHAT. THE. FUCK. HAVE. I. DONE?
Every breath in tells me what I already know but refuse to accept.
Ash is mine.
I bit him, marked him, and somehow bound us together with a mating bite. That was not my intention when I sank my teeth into him.
Wasn’t it?
The wolf inside me scoffs at the lies I keep telling myself. The primal side of me preens in satisfaction as our combined scents fill the air between us. We smell like together, and he smells like mine.
And seventy percent of me is fucking ecstatic. Wants to throw my head back and howl for every fucker to hear.
The other thirty knows that I’ve crossed a huge line. I did this without Ash’s consent, even though it wasn’t a conscious decision; I still did it. So many people are going to be rightly pissed off with me, but my sole concern right now is the man standing in front of me.
Seconds ago, we were both riding the high of a spectacular orgasm, like some amazing feedback loop of pleasure.
Now, I can feel his confusion and a sliver of hurt creeping in, and it’s like a knife to my chest. “Ash?” I try again, leaning back so I can see his face. “Talk to me, please.”
His laugh is full of disbelief. “What do you want me to say?” He glances down between us at his naked, sticky body and my half-dressed one. “I can’t have this conversation covered in come.”
I can’t help myself. I reach out and trace a finger through the mess we made of him. I half wish it was mine coating his skin. But then I wouldn’t have got to come inside him.
He’ll still smell like me for days. Showering won’t help.
He prods me in the shoulder. “Why do you look so smug?”
I glance up to find him watching me, one eyebrow raised. Shit. I can’t exactly see what expression I’m wearing right now, but I’ve been around Lynx enough times to know what it probably looks like.
I could lie.
I probably should lie, but I can’t do it.
Not to Ash.
I’ve done that enough.
I slide my hand onto his hip and tug him close enough that my head rests on his shoulder. My lips graze the base of his throat.
He shivers and I smile.
But it’s short-lived as reality creeps back in.
“It shouldn’t have worked.” I’m still not sure how it did. “You’re human. And I didn’t bite you with the intent to . . .” Or did I?
I was so lost in the feel of him wrapped around me. His scent, his taste . . . I can’t honestly say where my head was when I sank my teeth into him.
“Intent to what?” Ash’s good hand finds the small of my back and slips under my shirt. I sigh at the touch.
Confusion still colours the bond between us, but I’m pretty sure there’s an underlying layer of contentment that I’m trying not to focus on. “To make you my mate.”
He tenses, so I rush to elaborate.
“Not like Lynx and Morgan. They’re fated; their bond is the strongest two shifters can have. I didn’t do this on purpose, Ash. I fucking swear. I didn’t know something like this could happen between a shifter and a human. You didn’t even bite me . . .” It shouldn’t be possible, and yet . . .
It might not be as strong as it would be between two shifters, but nevertheless, it’s there, pulsing away in a steady thrum in my chest.
And I want to keep it.
I’m desperate to, but it’s not just up to me.
I close my eyes and take a breath, preparing to ask the question I really don’t want to. Before I can, though, Ash’s hand stills.
“What’s wrong?”
My head snaps up. “What do you mean?”
He frowns. “You feel all . . . wrong. I’m not sure how to put it into words, but I don’t like it. So stop.”
I can’t help the smile that breaks out. I thought he only felt things because we were having sex, that it might wear off when our emotions were no longer heightened. But if he can still feel me now . . . Fuck. It’s stronger than I first thought.
“That’s better.” Ash smiles back at me.
But I still need to ask. “I’m not sure if it’s possible to break this connection.” I wave a finger between the two of us. “But do you want me to try?” I hold my breath, watching as his face goes through a range of emotions. I feel them through our bond, which is going to take some getting used to.
He bites his lip, eyes widening, no doubt realising the same thing I just have.
“There’s no hiding now. Is there?”
I slowly shake my head. “Not from each other.”
He blows out a harsh breath. “Wow. Okay.” Shrugging out of my hold, he paces past the end of his bed.
“Ash?” I try to respect his privacy, but I just can’t. He’s broadcasting on all levels: what his scent doesn’t reveal, the bond between us does.
He runs a hand through his hair. “I don’t—” He stops, looks up at me, lost. “I don’t know, Cal.” He starts pacing again. “Up until ten minutes ago, I thought we were just having sex. Fantastic sex,” he adds.
And fuck me, I feel that too. The rush of arousal. It’s hard to focus on his words when his body is giving off signals like that.
“And now.” Ash stops and holds out his arms. “Now you’re telling me we’re somehow connected because you bit me. Even though I’m human and none of this should be possible.”
“I’m sorry—”
He shakes his head. “I don’t blame you.” Before I can tell him he should, he taps his chest, right over his heart.
“I don’t blame you because somehow, I can fucking feel everything you feel.
I know you’re as confused as I am. That you’re sorry you did this to me.
To us.” He offers me a wry smile. “But that you’re really, really happy with the outcome. ”
There’s no point denying what he already knows is true. “I am.” I take a gamble and hold out a hand to him.
He looks down at it, and my heart drops as he hesitates.
Then his gaze snaps up and his fingers curl around mine.
“Sorry.” His grip tightens and he tugs me towards him.
“I wasn’t—” He goes to run his other hand through his hair, then remembers his brace and groans. “I really need this fucking thing off.”
“It’s almost healed.”
“How do you know?”
“I can just tell.” Now’s not the time to get into everything I can smell and sense as a shifter, so I shrug.
“You didn’t answer my question.” My heart pounds, but I force a calmness that’s one of the hardest things I’ve had to do.
But I can’t let my feelings, my emotions, influence his decision here. It’s not fair.
He cocks his head to the side. “Why are you doing that?”
“Doing what?”
“You know what.” He raises his eyebrows, waiting.
Arse.
He’s too fucking stubborn. “I’m trying to remain neutral.”
“Neutral?” He scoffs. “What the fuck for?”
“Because this is about you. About what you want, not me.”
“No.” He shakes his head and points a finger in my face. “It’s about what we want.”
“But—?”
“We’re both in this bond, right? It’s not just me that’s affected?”
“No.”
“Then it’s our decision to make. Don’t put this all on me.”
“I wasn’t. I—” Fuck. I sink onto the bed and hang my head. That’s exactly what I just did.
The bed dips as he sits down next to me.
“And in order to make a decision, we need to know how the other feels. Really feels,” he adds, and I can tell he’s scowling.
“Not whatever bollocks you’re doing now.
Because I’m pretty sure you’re blocking me somehow, and that’s not fair, because I don’t know how to do that. ”
I sigh, feeling guilty all over again. “You’re right. It’s not fair.”
“You said we can’t hide from each other.” His eyes narrow. “Or is it just me that can’t hide from you?”
“I can only do it for a little while. But you’re right, I shouldn’t be doing it at all. I’m sorry.”
Here goes.
I take a breath in, and when I exhale, I let go of everything holding my emotions in check.
I close my eyes as it all floods over me.
All the surprise and delight at the fact that this has happened, the depth of the connection I already felt with him, and the clawing, desperate fucking hope that he’ll want to keep this new one as much as I do.
And . . . fuck, it’s a lot.
Ash inhales sharply, his shock loud and clear as he sits there and takes it all in.
It’s all I get from him for the longest minute of my life, and then slowly other emotions start to filter across the bond between us. The shock is still front and centre, but now there’s a little wonder too.
I don’t blame him. I’m still in awe that this was possible.
My heart stops completely when I get the first tentative mix of happiness and hope. It’s faint, but I’ll take it.
I hold my hand out, palm up, breath catching as he doesn’t hesitate this time and slides his hand over mine.
“If it wasn’t already obvious,” I say softly, “I like you, Ash. More than I realised. And I never would’ve purposely tied us together like this without your full consent.
But now that it’s happened?” I lift his hand to my mouth and kiss the back of it, our combined scents hitting me all over again.
“I want to keep it. More than I’ve ever wanted anything.
” I don’t realise how true that is until I say it aloud.
“But . . .” I add quickly before he can say anything.
“If you don’t feel the same and you want to undo this somehow .
. . then I’ll do everything I can to make that happen. ”
I mean that too, even though it would kill me to lose this now that I’ve had a taste.
“Is it my turn to talk now?”
I glance over to find him watching me, but I can’t read his face. And for all his complaints about not being able to shield his feelings, I’m not getting much from him right now. “Yeah. Sorry.”
His fingers tighten around mine. “I’m not gonna lie.
This is all—” He sighs, and my stomach clenches.
“—really fucking hard to accept. Even though there’s this thing happening in my chest and I can feel you .
. .” He draws in a shaky breath, and I hold mine.
“But I kind of like it.” He bites his lip, shooting me a sideways glance.
It takes me a second for his words to sink in, then I grab him and tackle him back onto the bed. “Yeah?” I grin down at him, and he’s smiling back up at me.
“Yeah.”