Chapter 13
CALYPSO
I hear the tires squealing of the SUV as it pulls into the parking lot of the Royal Bastards Clubhouse. Farris slamming on the brakes sets my nerves on edge. My hands tighten around the whiskey glass in front of me, but I don’t take a sip. I’m sitting on a bench by the fire pit out back, waiting.
Farris storms around the side of the Clubhouse where I’m waiting with my back to him. I don’t have to turn around to know he’s standing behind me. The scent of gunpowder and leather invades my senses.
I slowly turn around, and the sight before me takes my breath away.
Farris is towering above me, looking wrecked.
He has blood on his shirt, a bruise already forming along his jaw, and his knuckles are raw and swollen.
His eyes stare into mine, burning with an intensity that makes my stomach clench.
Fuck. I knew this was coming. I just didn’t know how much he’s already figured out.
Farris sits down next to me, the weight of his stare pressing against my heated skin. No one is around us to see Law Dog lose his cool.
He leans in, sitting so close to me that I can feel the heat radiating off him. “Why the fuck didn’t you tell me?” His voice is low, rough, and dangerous.
I swallow hard, keeping my expression unreadable. “You’ll have to be more specific, Law Dog. I tend to keep a lot of shit from you.”
Pain flashes in his eyes from my use of his road name before his jaw clenches and his fists tighten at his sides. He’s pissed.
Good. That makes two of us.
I slide out of my seat, standing toe-to-toe with him, refusing to back down. I already know what he’s talking about.
“You got jumped,” I say, keeping my voice even. “And instead of telling me, you decided to handle it yourself?”
Farris’s eyes darken. “You didn’t give me a choice, Calypso.” The use of my road name hits harder than I want to or will admit.
Farris’s breathing sharpens, his shoulders tense. He’s barely keeping it together, and I don’t know if it’s from pain or pure fucking frustration.
I should say something. Something to calm him down. But instead, I fuel the flames. “I told you I can handle it.”
His expression shifts, something I can’t read passes across his face before Farris lets out a bitter laugh. “Handle it?” He repeats. “He had me outnumbered and bleeding on the fucking street. What part of that sounds like you’re handling shit?”
I bite my tongue, refusing to let the guilt settle in. I never wanted this for him. I never wanted him to be dragged into my past. But he is, and I’m the one who put him there.
Farris exhales hard, scrubbing a hand through his hair. “That’s not even the worst part, is it?”
My stomach twists. “What the hell does that mean?”
He shakes his head, studying me like I’m a puzzle he’s trying to piece together. “You knew he was in town, didn’t you?”
I don’t answer because from the look in his eyes, I don’t have to. He knows the answer.
Farris’s lips press into a tight line. “Yeah, that’s what I thought.”
My jaw ticks. “What do you want me to say, Farris? That I didn’t want you involved? That I thought I could handle it myself? That I didn’t…” I trail off and bite my lip so I don’t cry.
“That you don’t what, Calypso?” His voice is soft and raw.
“That I didn’t want to lose you,” I confess. A single tear drips down my cheek onto my clenched fist, pissing me off.
Farris’s anger shifts into something else. Something raw, something I can’t deal with right now. “You don’t get to push me away and still expect me to walk through fire for you, Calypso.”
I flinch at his words. I want to argue. I want to tell him he doesn’t understand, but his voice drops, rough and low enough to cut me open. “What else aren’t you telling me?”
I stiffen. “Farris.”
“No bullshit, Amanda. Not this time.”
The walls are closing in. The weight of everything is pressing down on me. I can lie and brush it off like I always do. Push him away, but for the first time, I don’t want to. I want someone to stay for me. The thing about Farris Law Dog Dalton? He already knows when I’m lying.
I exhale sharply, pressing my palms against my temples. “It’s not just him.” I finally admit. “There’s more.”
Farris doesn’t move or push. He waits for me to continue. Fuck.
I don’t want to do this here. Not outside of the Clubhouse where anyone can walk out and overhear our conversation.
I grab Farris’s hand and pull him into the Clubhouse, toward the back hallway to where the rooms are. “Which one is it?”
He pulls out a set of keys from his pocket and goes to the last door on the right. He unlocks the door and shoves it open, motioning for me to go before him.
Once Farris closes the door, I let out a shaky breath, my arms wrapped around my stomach. My voice is barely above a whisper. “I haven’t been feeling right lately.”
Farris’s brows furrow, concern flickering in his gaze. “Your Lupus?”
I shake my head. “It’s more than that.” I turn my back to him, pressing my hands against the wall, trying to steady my breathing.
Farris is behind me, too close and not close enough. I can feel the heat of him at my back, the tension radiating off his body. His presence is demanding, impossible to ignore.
I force the words out. “I might be pregnant.”
The air shifts.
Farris doesn’t react at first, just stares at me, his expression unreadable. Then he exhales. “Might?” His voice is low, rough, and barely controlled.
I chew the inside of my cheek, my throat tightening. “I haven’t taken a test yet.”
His jaw flexes. His fingers twitch like he wants to reach for me, but he doesn’t. Instead, his voice comes out rough and low. “Is it mine?”
I spin around so fast that my back hits the wall, and my hands curl into fists. I snap my head up, my eyes burning. “Are you fucking serious?”
His blue eyes are ice, but beneath the anger, there’s something else. Something raw. Farris exhales hard, dragging a hand down his face. “I don’t know, Calypso. You disappear for months, you don’t tell me about your ex, and now you drop this on me? What the fuck am I supposed to think?”
Pain claws up my throat. I don’t know if it’s anger or something worse. I push off the wall and shove his chest hard. He barely moves.
“You really think I’d be standing here, looking you in the fucking eyes if it wasn’t yours?” My voice is sharp, but underneath, I hate how much it hurts. I want to scream in frustration. I want to punch him in the face for that comment.
His hands are on me before I can say anything else, gripping my arms, and dragging me closer. His touch is fire, his fingers digging into my skin like he’s afraid I’ll disappear if he lets go.
“You don’t get to push me away and expect me to just take it,” he growls, voice rough as gravel. “I’ve been losing my goddamn mind, Calypso.” I stuck in a sharp breath.
“You don’t know what it’s like,” he continues, his forehead almost touching mine, his breath hot against my lips. “Going two months not knowing if you’re safe. Not knowing if I was just a mistake you regret.”
The pain in his voice wrecks me. I shake my head. “You were never a mistake.”
He exhales hard, his grip tightening before he yanks me against him. His mouth crashes into mine. Our kiss is hard, desperate, and angry.
I fist his shirt, pulling him closer as my back hits the wall again. He presses against me, his body a solid, unyielding force, his hands sliding down to grab my hips, pinning me there.
I should stop this. We should talk, but I don’t want to talk. I want to feel.
I arch into him, moaning when his teeth catch my bottom lip, when he groans into my mouth like he’s been starving for this.
“Fuck,” he mutters, his lips trailing down my jaw, to my throat, his fingers grip my hips so tight it’s like he’s trying to mark me.
I gasp when Farris presses his thigh between mine, forcing me to grind against him. “Farris.” I moan.
“Tell me this isn’t just a game to you,” Farris growls. His hands slide under my shirt, his fingers skimming bare skin. His touch is hot and unforgiving. He’s branding me as his, and I’m powerless to stop him.
I want to tell him this is a game, but I can’t because it’s not.
I grab Farris’s face, dragging his mouth back to mine, kissing him so hard we both lose balance for a second. He spins us, slamming me against the opposite wall, trapping me with his body.
“You fucking wreck me,” Farris murmurs against my lips.
His words send a shiver down my spine. “Then let me,” I whisper.
Farris groans, his forehead pressing against mine, his breathing ragged. He wants this. I can feel it in every tense muscle, every rough grip, every way he pulls me closer when he should be letting me go. Farris’s hands go back to my waist, tightening around my hips, his breathing uneven.
“This isn’t how I want this,” he mutters, resting his forehead against mine. “Not when you’re running. Not when you’re hiding shit from me.”
The moment shatters like glass.
Fuck, he’s right.
I squeeze my eyes shut, hating how my body still wants him, how I want to lose myself in him, but he won’t let me.
This is different. This isn’t just heat. This isn’t just a need, this is him knowing me too fucking well. His grip loosens, but he doesn’t step back.
“You’re gonna tell me everything,” Farris says, voice dark. “We’re gonna deal with this together.”
I nod because I don’t want to fight him on this. Because for the first time in a long time, I don’t want to do this alone . I should push him away. Should stop him before he makes me want things I can’t have.
But I don’t. Instead, I let myself lean into him.
“We’ll figure this out,” Farris whispers against my lips.
I squeeze my eyes shut. I want to believe him. I need to believe him. But deep down, I know nothing about this is going to be easy.