31. Gilli
Gilli
W e’ll get our chance.
“What about now?” I blurt out.
Soren stops in his tracks at my voice but Tase just stares at me. He blinks once.
“Now?” he repeats, assured and calm. Something in him has gone still.
“Yeah, now.” My hands itch to touch him. “But not here.”
Even though it's not smart to leave, I want to get out of here. I want to put myself in Tase’s hands and see where life takes us.
Is this crazy? And am I out of my mind with no way back?
“You’re not serious.” Soren’s voice sounds from a distance. “Of all the stupid fucking things?—”
Tase holds out his hand to me and I step forward and place my palm in his.
“Keep her safe, goddammit!” Soren yells after us as Tase bundles me into his car.
We’ll get our chance .
The words play on repeat in my head as I grip the seatbelt. It seems like we’re making our chance here. Fuck. This isn’t smart.
What I need to do is hide out in the cabin and figure a way out of this mess myself. But I halfway wonder if it’s too late for that. Or maybe this is all in my head and I’m making a big deal about nothing.
Tase’s hand falls on my knee to stop it from bobbing “I’m not going to let anything happen to you. Consider my place a regular Fort Knox. The cabin has no privacy.”
Jesus Christ, what am I doing? I’m reckless, I admit, but this seems like a step too far even for me.
He stares ahead determinedly and I drink in his side profile. Lines fan out from around his eyes, from squinting into the sunlight without a pair of sunglasses.
Suz would tell me to pull my head out of my ass.
Lorie would tell me to go for it, and Aiden, if I told him I hadn’t planned any of this, would laugh.
I’d like to survive until my twenty-first birthday. I should have stayed behind.
Or maybe I shouldn't have come to Jersey at all.
Tase heads away from town along a winding two-lane that borders a river. Finally he flicks on the turn signal and heads down Meadowlark Lane.
The small town vibe is rampant here. I thought the main strip was interesting? On Meadowlark, the houses are farther apart, with rolling lawns and old trees.
Tase turns into a driveway leading up a short incline toward a brick two-story with old Victorian vibes. The front door and shutters are painted black, some of them hanging at a dilapidated angle.
“My parents’ old place,” he explains without me having to prod. “It’s falling apart around me.”
“You’ve never spoken about them.”
“I wanted out of this place and this house, like a fish in a pond that’s too small.
But fate had different plans for me. My parents decided to move to a smaller place closer to the hospital, because of Dad’s bad heart.
Then I got married, bought out her father’s veterinary practice, and the next logical step was to make this our home. ”
It strikes me then, dead in the chest, how Tase has his parents’ house, his father-in-law’s business. What does he have that’s his?
Is there anything ?
I might not like my shitty apartment but it’s mine. I’m not stuck in the trailer, shackled to the past. The only shackles I’ve got are mental, emotional…and those weigh heavily enough as it is.
How would I feel to be constantly surrounded by the past?
Tase parks and walks around to the side to open the door for me. His silhouette is dark with the sun at his back.
“No one is going to hurt you here, Gilli. You’re safe. I promise.”
The moment my hand touches his, my reservations take a back seat. This is my choice. I want everything to be my choice.
What does Tase want?
“I think it’s an adorable house,” I tell him.
“It should probably be on the historic register. I believe it was built in 1912.” He jingles the keys on his ring until he finds the right one and unlocks the door, ushering me inside.
The foyer is packed full of antiques, with a long red runner leading toward the kitchen in the back. The space is divided, with the staircase on the right of the foyer and a living room to the left. A doorway near the foot of the stairs leads into a parlor.
Nothing here reminds me of Tase.
“I know,” he says, as if reading my mind. “None of it’s to my taste. But I’m rarely home so it doesn’t matter.”
“It’s like stepping into a time capsule.”
But he’s right. It’s not what I would have pictured for Tase. A part of him is missing in his house, like he’s never made the space his own—he’s only temporarily occupying these four walls and roof to sleep.
He walks past me into the kitchen, leaving me to explore.
The mantel of the living room fireplace is bare except for a pair of pewter candlesticks and a picture frame to match. The sight of Tase with his arms around a woman in white snags me low in the gut. This must be Dana.
Light brown hair waves around a heart-shaped face, her eyes wide-set and kind. I can discern a shapely figure outlined by the white gown. Not model-thin, and not plump, just…average. She’s pretty, I concede, trying hard to ignore the swell of prickly discomfort that jealousy brings.
“But she doesn’t look right for you,” I mutter out loud. “Just like the house.”
I see him easily in a vet coat helping the voiceless. And maybe it’s because I’ve worked with him personally that I’ve cataloged the care he uses with his patients. None of this seems to fit with what I know about him.
And what do I know, really?
I know there’s a chemistry between us, a sizzle whenever I see him. I know he’s smart and driven and has this terrifying sense of responsibility to his place and his practice. Even to the detriment of himself. He’s the kind of man who would throw himself down on a bomb if it kept others safe.
“Do you want white or red? Wine,” he calls out.
“Dealer’s choice.”
“Red it is, then.”
I set the frame back down in its spot with the layer of dust around it. Then I take off my glasses and fold the arms, setting them on the mantel beside the picture.
There. Now there’s a little piece of me here, too, if only for tonight. Or for however long Tase wants me.
The kitchen is a small galley style with a rolling cart used as an island.
Here, at least, I see more of him. The kitchen table is stacked with files and professional journals, with only a small space left for him to eat. And even that has a coffee mug smack in the center with a muddy rim around the edge.
“My work station,” he grumbles and pours two glasses from a green bottle, handing one out to me. “I should have cleaned up before I brought you over. I’m sorry.”
I shake my head. “You never have to apologize for your space. Plus you had no idea I’d be here.”
Neither did I. Another spur of the moment choice by yours truly. Am I ever going to learn to look before I leap? Probably not.
It’s a good red wine, bold and full of tannins. I pick apart each flavor note because that’s way easier than figuring out how to thank Tase for giving me a reprieve from a place where I should’ve felt safe.
And I do feel safe at the cabin. But…
Why is there always a but ?
Tase steps up and cups my face with his hands, forcing me to look at him. “You’re safe here, Gilli. Nothing’s going to hurt you. Not while I’m around.”
And damn me, but I believe him.
I think the boys mean every word when they say they want to protect me. Then I lost everything when Tase looked at me. Those whiskey colored eyes saw parts of me that I never planned to ever see the light of day.
“What are you doing?” What do you see ?
I barely get the whispered words out before his lips meet mine .
Like magnets drawn inexorably to each other, we come together, his arms around my waist and my arms around his neck. I pull him closer, desperate for the feel of him. He grazes his teeth along the line of my neck, nipping at my earlobe. Then he finds my mouth and kisses me like a starving man.
His control is slipping. I can feel it happening as he forces me backward toward the table Wood digs into my ass and he sweeps out a hand to clear the top. The movement sends everything crashing to the floor.
Tase is on top of me. There’s no holding back, not with him.
I wrench my lips away from him only long enough to glance down as I reach for his pants. His dick presses against the material in a solid hard ridge.
I can handle anything he wants to throw at me and more.
I unzip the material, freeing his cock even as he wrenches my yoga pants completely off.
“I can’t wait. I can’t go easy on you.”
“I don’t want easy.”
He’ll never hear a protest pass these lips.
I’m done trying to fight my desire for him, the greed that makes me want to ride all three of them. The backs of my thighs scrape against the side of the table and I lift my legs as Tase positions himself between them.
He rears over me, spreading me. “Look at me, Gilli. Keep your eyes open. It’s just you and me.”
I nod at his demand, reaching for him, guiding his cock to my dripping wet core. I manage a smile, a gasp, suspended in this frozen moment of pure bliss with my heart devastating my chest with its beats .
He grabs my thighs and hauls me closer before slamming inside of me. He’s rough as hell with me. He pushes my hips down, sliding inside, plunging his tongue into my mouth at the same time, fucking me in deep thrusts.
I cry out as he grabs a fistful of my hair. He uses it for leverage, thrusting inside of me again and again, forcing my legs even wider as he goes deep and makes me take every inch of him.
“ Fuck yes .” Desire floods me and I let it take over everything. I manage a smile, a gasp, suspended in this frozen moment of pure bliss with my heart devastating my chest with its beats.
I’ve craved him since the first look, and he might be a man of conviction and strength, but he’s got his demons the same as everyone else.
His monsters and mine match.
He drives deeper yet and the fear melts away, the shadows disappearing. “I want to see you like this every fucking day,” he grunts heavily. “Because I’ve spent too much time without you.”
His body pins me down even as his cock stretches me.