32. Gilli
Gilli
T he compliment fills me with heat.
He thrusts his hips forward and sinks deep between my lips, forcing me to take him all the way to the hilt and I taste myself on his cock.
We do have the whole night, and I plan to make it last. Because I want him that badly.
Tase is panting, our eyes locked while I gag on him, and it’s the perfect sight. There is only the slightest hint of restraint as his fingers knot in my hair.
“Your lips, your tongue. You are perfect.”
I pull free and lick my lips, relishing the way he groans. “Then let me do this for you.”
I lick the underside of his cock, taking my time to trail my tongue along every edge. To memorize him this way from the base all the way to the tip and back again, keeping control of him with my fist. My other hand moves to his balls to cradle them while I suck.
I like this, too. The gentle way I take my time rather than him fucking my mouth and coming down my throat.
We’ve all taken what we need from each other.
This is different.
This is giving purely because I want to and because I expect nothing in return. With him, with the glint of hunger burning in his eyes becoming mine to share, I feel like we’ve barely started on this journey.
They say they won’t let anything happen to me.
And I’d step in front of a bullet for any one of them.
I bob on Tase’s cock, licking and sucking and offering him a respite from reality. When he’s had enough, he drags me up, laying me down on the blanket in front of the fire and slipping into me easily.
He finds his release inside of me and I take every drop. Time means nothing. Outside, the haze of a moon casts silver rays of light inside the house, tangling with the golden glow of flames.
And through the exhaustion, Tase guides me up to his bed, tucking me underneath clean sheets.
“Your eyes are closing.”
His voice filters through me, around me, and I burrow deeper into the covers that smell like him.
“I’m about to fall asleep. You’ve got me relaxed.”
He replies with a soft chuckle. “Not just me. You’ve had a busy few days.”
“Few years, more like.” I blow out a soft breath and slowly bat my eyes open to find him staring at me.
“Things are going to be different,” Tase assures me. “We’re not going to let you go.”
My heart clenches at those words. “What do you mean?”
He settles on his back, drawing me with him until I’m comfortable at his side. “I mean, and I can only speak for myself, but once this is all over…we’re going to have to seriously talk about the future.”
I’m frozen in place. “What about it?”
“There are a few changes we’ll have to make. If you’re determined to go…I’m just as determined for you to stay. And I’ve got three good reasons. ”
“Only three? I would have thought you’d have more.” My grin is drowsy.
I drift off into a dreamless, restful sleep. Tase is still beside me in the morning, his body curved around mine, our rough edges fitting together like he’s the missing piece I’ve searched for my entire life.
His breathing is even, his arm protective over my hip.
I try to get up but his hold tightens.
“Not yet.” Sleep pulls his vowels down. “Stay.”
He pulls me tighter to him, his cock already stirring.
It’s a lazy moment, a coming together, melding and melting. Tase surges into me from behind and I lift my leg to give him better access to me, our sighs soft.
Tase pants through his orgasm, holding me in a tight embrace. His heart beat is just as fast and heavy as mine.
I don’t want to go back to my life and the emptiness of it, the single-minded focus, where I miss out on these lazy sexy moments.
Something flutters inside me.
I want these amazing mornings.
“Take the day off again. Relax. Stay here, if you want.” Tase kisses my temple and nuzzles me before he pulls out and leaves me empty without him. “No one will ever find you at my place.”
He’s so concerned, so sincere, I want to cry like a fucking idiot. It somehow doesn’t seem right for him to be this sweet and pluck at my heart strings one by one.
Tase gets ready for work with the practiced ease of a man who adheres to the same strict daily schedule. Without the need for an alarm. Within minutes he’s showered, dressed, and eyeing me with a warning glint.
“I mean it. Relax. We have it covered. And make yourself at home.”
My fingers pluck at the edges of the blanket, the thread unraveling in places. Just like me. “What if I want to go somewhere? You’re taking the car, I’d imagine. ”
Tase stops. “No, Gilli. Stay here.”
My throat constricts and cuts off my air. I traded the cabin for a Victorian, but the sensation of being trapped is real and there’s no escaping it.
“I’ll be home on my lunch hour.” Tase kisses my forehead.
I don’t like how this feels and I hate it. The thoughts from last night are like gnats, nipping and biting and reminding me that trust works both ways.
They trust me to keep myself safe, but who is watching out for them?
I came to Jersey to get away from anyone Maxxx8U might connect with me, and in doing so, I’ve added three new avenues of control.
I make it to ten o’clock before I can’t stand myself anymore. I scour the house and land on a rusty bicycle with the front tire a little flat but otherwise in one piece.
Great. Perfect.
I’m a wreck on two wheels now instead of two legs.
The first draw of cool air burns me where it should soothe, the place between my legs aching as I settle on the seat. The gears are rusty, the chain hitching. Cobwebs are tangled between the handlebars. Tase clearly hasn’t taken the bike out in a long time.
When was the last time he used this thing? Hell, at least it works.
Sweat trails along my spine as I ride down every road, retracing the route from yesterday. Rather than taking the road leading toward the cabin, I head to town. Working will help. It will file away the even rougher edges inside me and give me a focus, a direction.
I stash the bike beside Tase’s car, checking over my shoulders where shadows are too thick. Where someone might hide. There’s nothing here. Nothing to give me away, either.
I crack open the door and immediately freeze when a familiar voice says from inside, “The cameras are installed. Fat fucking load of good it does when she’s holed up at your place, Doc.”
Jesus.
Soren is here. Why is Soren here?
Tase groans. “She was with me all night. No one was getting to her.”
“I’m not installing cameras at your place,” Soren argues. “It was hard enough to do the cabin and surrounding property.”
Someone else chuckles. Aiden’s here, too. Kill me now.
They’re having a meeting without me. Anger flickers. If they’re chatting about their next step, then I need to be in it. Because this is real.
“There’s a reason I don’t even have a Ring,” Tase replies. “Keep your cameras. But I’m not keeping my distance from her.”
“What, like you’re going to move into the cabin?” Aiden questions.
“You have a better idea?”
Enough. I’m going in. But when I pull the heavy door wider, it somehow slips out of my grasp and I’m caught off balance, falling and hitting my tailbone hard on the ground.
Soren suddenly looms over me, scowling. Heavy footsteps sound behind him, and a darker shadow falls across my face.
Tase crosses his arms over his chest. “Want to explain why you’re here and not where I left you?”
God, they’re intimidating when they’re angry. My stomach sinks immediately.
Then Aiden pushes past them both and gently helps me to my feet. “Are you okay?”
“She never fucking listens. Of course she’d be eavesdropping.” Soren pushes the door open in a clear demand to get-my-ass-inside. He glances over my head to the bike and grimaces. “Are you fucking kidding? ”
Tase shakes his head. “We can’t effectively help you if you keep doing this kind of shit.” His lips tighten. “Don’t make this harder than it has to be.”
His hard expression, his clipped words, confirms what I feared. Being with them has changed everything.
“It was always going to be complicated, baby, but the fact remains if you want us to keep you safe, then it’s got to start with you keeping yourself safe,” Aiden presses gently.
I hate his gentleness, too. I don’t deserve it right now.
Soren’s cell phone buzzes and he cuts off whatever he was about to say with a groan. “Goddamnit.” He’s got his phone in hand but rather than answer, he holds it out to me. “Tell her something to get rid of her.”
I blink at him. “What do you mean? Her who?”
“You can read. This is the third time she’s called.”
The name on the screen reads Kerrigan1. Has to be Suzanne. Because I’m willing to bet every penny in my savings that Soren has a god-awful nickname for Ma.
Apprehension washes over me as I take the phone in my shaking hand—seriously, will my body ever get out of flight mode?—and push the icon to answer.
“Hello?”
A beat, and then, “Dammit, Gillian, are you fucking kidding me right now?”
The anger and also the relief in her voice has me feeling guilty. I’m gripping the phone in one hand, Aiden’s hand in the other, and cowering where I stand. “Suz, I’m sorry?—”
“Do you have any idea how worried I’ve been about you?” she almost shouts. Not paying the slightest bit of attention to my apology. “You tell me that you’re just taking off for a little bit, that everything is going to be fine and you don’t want me freaking out, your words, and then nothing!”
“I also told you that you wouldn’t hear from me,” I add weakly.
It’s the wrong thing to say but instead of an explosion, Suz erupts with a hiccuping sob .
“I can’t lose you. Do you understand? Whatever’s happening, why won’t you let me help you?”
Fuck . How did she even think to call Soren so many times? Once, and the call ignored, should’ve been enough to dissuade her. Not Suz, though.
The rest of the conversation is tense, and my mind checks out. I’m like a plug only halfway inserted into the outlet, running on fumes, empty and searching and yearning and scared.
I’m helpless to protest when Soren drives me back to the cabin.