Chapter Thirty-Four
My Last Eight Seconds
Cheyenne
Dawn is ascending over the lake when I go downstairs on my thirtieth birthday. The wooden floors are cool beneath my feet and the eastern sky blushes shamelessly. Colton is already in the sunroom, but he left a gold-handled white mug dotted with blue hydrangeas on the counter. Next to it, the box of Honey Nut Cheerios, a spoon, and a note.
Happy 30th birthday, Fini. I love you.
P.S. Ignore the chip in the mug handle. Milo accidentally dropped it. We decided it gave it character.
Tucking a smile into my shoulder, I pour my cereal. I pause to add milk to the grocery list on the fridge, and Colton greets me with a good morning kiss to rival all others. We sit on the wicker daybed—me eating from my mug and him sipping from his. The windows are pushed up over their screens to allow a crisp August breeze through.
When Milo wakes up, Colton sends me back to bed because they have a surprise. Fifteen minutes later, Milo bursts into my room and jumps on the mattress, Colton and Indi carrying trays of breakfast. A stack of fluffy pancakes teeters on the plate, scrambled eggs are mixed with salsa, sausage patties are heart shaped, and there’s a glass of chocolate milk (that Milo made all by himself). Three handmade cards in store bought envelopes are tucked between the plate and a vase of fresh blue hydrangeas. I tell Milo I can’t possibly eat all the food myself, and he gleefully sits cross-legged next to me, chattering in between bites.
Colton sits in my desk chair and stretches his legs out long, watching us with one of the softest expressions I’ve ever seen on him. Indi is sprawled across the foot of my bed, lifting her head only when Milo airplanes a bite of pancake to her mouth.
There has never been a more perfect morning.
Colton gives Milo a piggyback ride downstairs to clean up the kitchen. I’m curious how big of a mess they made, but Indi insists I take a leisurely, uninterrupted shower. She lays out a birthday outfit on my bed—a flowy white maxi skirt, a lace edged blue camisole, and Birkenstocks. Underneath lies my blue bikini; you never know when you’ll take a dip in the lake.
We walk to Sam’s house for an early lunch, and Jolene and Milo sing a rendition of Happy Birthday that they’ve been practicing for a week. Sam grills lemon garlic chicken breasts, Hazel makes a watermelon-peach salad, and Gran shows off her newly discovered cooking skills by preparing tomato basil bruschetta with Jordan’s help. It doesn’t exactly match the flavor profile, but it tastes delicious.
My brothers bought day passes for the Henry Doorly Zoo, and we pile into three vehicles to drive to Omaha. Dad is strong enough to walk further distances, even with the heat. Love has never swelled deeper inside me than when we’re walking by the big cats’ enclosures. Milo is between Dad and Colton, holding their hands and trying hard to keep up with their long legs. When a gorilla bangs on its industrial grade glass, Milo runs for Colton’s arms, and when Justin gets too sweaty, he stands under the mister for five minutes straight.
We get back to the lake house later that afternoon. Milo resists a nap, but his overtiredness wins out. He and Colton fall asleep on the daybed in the sunroom, their cheeks sun kissed, and their lips parted. I’m climbing the stairs to change into something more comfortable when Indi catches up to me.
“What do you think you’re doing?” she asks. “You have plans tonight.”
“Indi,” I say, eyes narrowed, “we have done everything I wanted to do today. We don’t have plans.”
She sighs heavily and pushes me toward my bed. “Correct— we don’t. You do. You seriously thought my brother would let the day pass without getting you alone for part of it? As if!” She shakes her head dispassionately. “Honestly, Cheyenne. I thought you knew him better than that.”
She has a point. “Okay, that’s fair. But—”
“Butts are for—You know what, never mind. I’m not gonna finish that.” She pushes my shoulders until I plop onto the edge of my bed. “No buts about it.”
“Indigo Del Ray,” I say, and I press a dramatic hand to my chest. “Did you almost make an inappropriate joke?”
She looks offended by the thought. “ No. Anyway, back to this. I—”
“What about Milo, though? I told him—”
“Milo will be fine.” She opens my closet door with a flourish, like she’s become my fairy godmother in the past ten seconds. “Unless, of course, you don’t think he’d want to go on the sailboat.” She gasps and yanks a red Rixo dress from the rack. “You, my precious darling, are coming to Indi’s closet.”
“You’re going on the sailboat?”
“Grayson’s offer stands, so I thought I’d take it,” she says blandly. “On the bright side, it’ll be easy to toss him overboard.”
“ Indi ,” I scold, but my mouth twitches.
“I know, I know. Dark sense of humor.” She closes my closet, the expensive dress draped over her arm, and spins to face me again. “Okay, you know what? Wear that. It’ll be perfect for—”
I narrow my eyes when hers go wide. “For…?”
“For nothing,” she says quickly, and much too enthusiastically.
“ Indi ,” I say slowly. She inches toward the doors, and I stand up. “If you don’t tell me, you can’t have that dress.”
She looks between the silky viscose material and me. “Cheyenne, I really want to. I do. But if I do, Colton will never forgive me.”
“So, when you say nothing,” I say slowly, teasing, “you mean Colt and I are doing nothing?”
She glares at me.
I laugh and squish her cheeks between my palms. She looks deeply annoyed by the impulsive, sisterly gesture, but I pull her lips up into a smile before I clasp her hands.
“You know I’m insanely grateful that you’re in my life,” I say. “Right?”
She groans. “Chey, we both know I’m not good at mushy gushy stuff.”
“Good thing it’s never too late to learn,” I say cheerfully. I squeeze her fingers before I drop them. “Well, I guess we better go. I have plans to do nothing with Colton, you know.”
Indi rolls her eyes. And then, spontaneously, she hugs me. It’s discombobulated; I’m turned away from her and she doesn’t want the Rixo dress to fall, but the three second embrace means more to me than words ever could.
“Colton,” I hiss. I stop in my tracks—at least, I stop as much as I can, considering he doesn’t. “What are you doing?”
He glances over his shoulder. “What does it look like I’m doing?”
Considering we’re standing in the parking lot of the Balsam Falls Yacht Club, spying on Indi, Milo, and Grayson. When I tell him this, he laughs and turns to face me fully.
“Fini,” he says, a finger under my chin, “do you remember when you asked me to trust you a few weeks ago?”
I’m staring at his mouth, but I jerk my gaze upward and nod. “Yes, but—”
He silences me with a kiss and whispers, “This is where I need you to trust me.”
I want to question him further, but I do trust him. Wholly. Colton smiles and kisses me again slowly, savoringly. Gravel crunches beneath my sandals and his boat shoes when we resume walking, but we don’t go inside. Colton steers me to the cracked sidewalk that weaves around to the lakeside patio of the yacht club.
And then I truly do stop in my tracks. My hand lifts to cover my mouth, and Colton stops too.
I look between his crinkled eyes and the view. One of the moored sailboats, a blue one with a large white mainsail, has periwinkle ribbon strewn through its railings. A banner across its stern reads Happy Birthday! Hydrangea petals form a path down to the weathered white docks, and the boat bobs in shimmering blue water.
“But… Indi said she and Milo were…”
Colton winks at me. “From what my sister told me, she almost blew this surprise.”
“Um…” I blink. I look at the boat, and then it hits me. My eyes snap to his. “Colton, are we going on that boat?”
“We are.”
“But you don’t know how to, you know, drive it.”
Crinkles crease his smiling eyes. “Remember the agreement to trust me that we made, oh, about three minutes ago?”
“Well, yes, but—”
He lifts his brows. I bite my lip and let him lead me down to the dock. It’s so easy to ask for trust, but extending it takes significantly more effort.
Colton hops onto the sailboat first and turns back to me. I hike my skirt and reach for his hand, but Colton has other plans. He lifts me into the boat, hands on my waist, and waits until I’m steady on my feet. He leads me around the billowing sails to the bow of the boat, my hand in his.
He swiftly faces me, his back to the warm sun, and he lowers to one knee.
“Colton…” I whisper.
“From that very first day at the lake house, Cheyenne, I knew I wanted you in my life forever,” he says. His steady words are a contrast to the clamminess of his hand against mine. “That chance got away from me once, but I will never let that happen again. I want it all with you, Fini—I want cereal side by side in the mornings, and I want rainy nights folding towels, and I want to spend the rest of my summers at the lake house with you.”
He pauses, throat working. I reach out and brush a tear from his tanned, whiskered cheek. He inhales, turns his face to kiss my palm, and continues.
“But more than anything, sweetheart, I want to give you the love I said I couldn’t.” Tears fill his eyes, and his voice shakes. “I want to give you a family; the family you’ve wanted since you carried around your mama’s baby doll, telling everyone that Beatrice was your own baby. I know I wouldn’t change her diapers, but if we ever get to have our own children, I promise I will change theirs.”
I laugh through tears and wipe my own eyes. My lips quiver even though I press them together, and his soft laugh settles my nervous system.
Colton leans back to grab a stack of papers behind him. Papers that are stapled and stained by Milo’s chocolate milk; I accidentally tipped the glass while Colton was filling them out.
“When I put this ring on your finger the first time, it was a pretense,” he says, rubbing his thumb over the sparkling solitaire. “But nothing about my love for you is fake, Cheyenne, and it never has been. It might not have always been me for you, but it’s always been you for me. I said I didn’t need one last ride to go out on, but that’s not entirely true. This—committing to you, and to Milo—is my last ride. My last eight seconds. And I want them to be the best I’ve ever had.”
He lifts the papers, hand trembling, thumb covering the P of PETITION TO ADOPT . “I was planning to drop these off at the courthouse, but I don’t want to do it alone. I don’t want to raise Milo on my own. Cheyenne Kolter,” he whispers, “will you be my wife and Milo’s mother?”
I start nodding as tears roll down my face. I barely squeeze a yes through my tight throat, but it’s enough for Colton. He’s kneeling one minute and kissing me the next. His arms gather me into his broad body, my fingertips press into the muscles of his back, and he really, truly, wholly kisses me.
His chest rumbles with a groan. I sink my fingers into his thick, dark curls and pull him closer. I want to feel the weight of his palm on my back. I want to taste the lemonade from the zoo that lingers on his insistent mouth. I want to inhale him—lake water and fresh air and Milo’s shampoo—and never come up for air.
Until his words fully hit me.
“Wait.” I’m breathless when I pull back. Colton’s eyes are unfocused, and I push lightly on his chest when he tries to pick right back up. “Colton, do you mean…” My voice drops to a whisper. “Colton, do you mean get married today?”
His hair is mussed from my fingers and his lips are swollen from my kiss, but his blushing cheeks are of their own volition. “Well, I mean, I obviously thought about it. But you deserve to have a beautiful wedding, and I don’t want to rush you, and as much as I’d love to—”
“Colton.”
His bashful gaze finds mine. I frame his face with my hands, and lift on my toes to kiss him softly. Tension fades from his shoulders, but it still quivers in his fingertips.
“Yes, Colton Del Ray, I will be your wife and Milo’s mother,” I say. I run my thumbs over the flush in his cheeks, and I brush a tear from his eye. “But I have one condition.”
He swallows again, but he nods. “Okay. Yes. Yes, to whatever it is.”
Smiling slowly, I loop my arms around his neck. Against his mouth, I whisper, “We have to get married today.”