29. Arthur
Chapter twenty-nine
Arthur
I can be strong for the both of us
W ind and rain pelted the glass as I stared out the window at the early morning, wearing nothing but a pair of sweatpants. The weather outside reflected my mood, a gloomy melancholy.
From Dinas Emrys, we’d driven nonstop all the way to retrieve our things we’d left at the hotel in Tintagel since the Chariot, being magical, apparently didn’t need gas.
We hadn’t lingered there, though. After we’d been found at Dinas Emrys, Will’s family had been wary of being tracked down. So after returning the Chariot to the book, packing up the rental car, and buying Nana Joanne a second Red Bull, we’d followed directions toward Amesbury. They’d booked the hotel for us on their phones—honestly, the capabilities of the current age still continued to astound me sometimes—and I’d groaned at the estimated length of time to reach our destination. Not because I wasn’t used to long journeys, but because it had already been a long day with us sitting in a cramped car and I hadn’t looked forward to another several hours like that.
Vincent had offered several times to let me sit in the front, but despite the way my limbs had kept growing numb or the way my joints had ached from sitting in one position for so long, I’d declined his offer. Because sitting in such squished quarters meant I’d gotten to hold Will. And I’d never pass up something like that.
Plus, I didn’t trust Nana Joanne’s driving.
The moment we’d arrived at the hotel, I’d lunged out of the car, relieved to finally be free from its confines. My demon had paced restlessly the entire drive to Amesbury, which hadn’t been that much of a surprise.
It didn’t enjoy the long car rides, preferring the freedom of an open landscape to roam. That wasn’t the only thing I’d discovered about it, either.
Loud noises aggravated it, like the music Otto sometimes liked to listen to on his phone.
But I’d learned it behaved better when I found ways to release some of its pent-up energy. Like on the days my memories surfaced, filling me with too much anger or frustration, I’d discovered it helped calm the beast if I stepped outside and breathed in fresh air. If that didn’t work, I’d practice my sword fighting, putting those feelings of fury and rage to good use on a mannequin.
But the most important thing I’d learned was it liked Will.
It purred when Will stroked my hair or placed a kiss on my cheek. Appreciated how Will’s magic calmed its endless energy, allowing it to relax.
I didn’t understand it, but I was grateful nonetheless.
The hotel stood on the corner of the street, but our rooms faced the back where a small, grassy courtyard spread. Little covered tables had been spaced out, brightly colored umbrellas protecting them from the sun or rain. Today, it was the latter.
It was unfortunate we hadn’t known before now how close the nursing home had been to Stonehenge, because it meant we could have found the Hamper before now. It had taken some digging to figure out what the nursing home’s connection was to Merlin or me.
I almost wished I hadn’t known.
We’d stayed at the hotel for the last two days, mere minutes from the place Guinevere had spent the remainder of her life. And though I knew we needed to get the Hamper, I just couldn’t seem to bring myself to leave this hotel room.
But I couldn’t delay it any longer.
In a few hours we had an appointment with the Amesbury Abbey Nursing Home, because we’d called asking them for a tour of the grounds due to us supposedly searching for the perfect home for our sweet, senile grandmother.
Nana Joanne had not been pleased about playing this part and had argued it would have been more convincing to send Vincent since he was the one whose cognitive health was in decline. This had escalated to the two of them hexing one another, and had ended with them both sporting bright pink eyebrows.
Honestly, the Towers family could be such an odd bunch.
Will had noticed the change in my mood, though, and had kept a wary eye on me while we made plans. I knew he was worried about me, but I didn’t have it in me to convince him I would be fine.
I had to be fine.
Through the window’s reflection, I watched as Will stirred in the bed, his hand reaching across the mattress as if seeking me out. When he discovered I wasn’t there, he sat up. He spotted me at the window and slipped out of bed to come stand at my side.
After a moment, he rested his head on my shoulder. Together, we stared out as rain formed tiny streams down the window, reminding me of tears.
“How are you feeling?” he asked softly.
“I’m all right.” And I was, for the most part. “I’m just... overwhelmed.”
Will pulled back slightly to study my face. I turned to face him, allowing him to see the honesty in my expression. Then he nodded, smiling sadly. “You miss her. Guinevere.”
It wasn’t a question.
I struggled to swallow past the lump in my throat. “Every day.”
Tenderly, he trailed a fingertip lightly over my cheek, catching a tear I hadn’t even realized had fallen and was already lost in my beard. “I’m sorry you lost her.”
“She was my best friend,” I said, hoping he didn’t mind me speaking of my late wife, because I needed to talk about this. About her. “I’d saved her father from capture by another king, and the moment I met her, we connected instantly. She was so beautiful and kind. But more than that, she was quick-witted and found pleasure in the smallest of things. She supported me, encouraged me, and I wanted to be worthy of her love. But though I loved her, I never desired her. It caused strain in our marriage, and I was forced to watch as this beautiful, strong woman withered without the love she deserved, the kind I could not provide her.
“I didn’t deserve her. Not when I failed her time and time again. I don’t blame Guinevere for straying, for seeking love and devotion from another. And knowing she’d never had that, that even after I was gone she’d come to this place and lived out her days alone instead of being with Lancelot... I don’t know how to forgive myself.”
Will just listened, his hands now holding the sides of my face while his thumbs continued to wipe at the tears that fell freely now.
“Sometimes it all feels like too much. Too much loss. Too much grief. Too much anger. I’m trying to be strong, because I know it’s what’s expected of me. But right now, I feel very weak.”
My hand trembled as it followed the path from the base of his spine up to the nape of his neck. Whereas I’d slipped on a plain pair of gray joggers, he wore only a simple pair of black underwear, and I marveled at the smooth feel of his skin beneath my palm.
The muscles of his back twitched under my touch, and I exhaled slowly through my nose in an attempt to steady myself. My emotions were raging, despair and grief, frustration and anger, pain and longing. They blended into a tide of sensation, overwhelming me so thoroughly I struggled to breathe.
Will let me continue feeling him, knowing I needed the physical touch to ground me and help soothe these emotions inside me.
And oh, how I appreciated him. For recognizing my needs and allowing me this connection with him. For seeing my weaknesses and not faulting me for them.
“Everyone has times where they need to be weak,” he said, his hands drifting from my face to my bare shoulders. “So be weak, Arthur. I can be strong for the both of us.”
I stared down at this man, this incredible man, wondering how I’d gotten so lucky to deserve him after the horrors I’d caused in my old life. Because what had I done to earn such adoration in his eyes?
“I tried to end it once,” I confessed, not sure if he knew from the visions he’d Seen. I shifted his fingers across my scars, lingering over the one from that day in Camlann over my heart. The puckered skin was a few fingers wide, a stark contrast to the surrounding chest hair, and Will let out a wounded noise as his soft fingers caressed the healed injury. “That day in Camlann. When I realized the death on my hands, I tried to end things myself.” I scoffed. “Of course, Merlin saved me. Then damned me with his attempt to help by turning me to stone.
“Most days, I longed to die. Not just because of the endless pain, but because I didn’t think I deserved to live. Because I didn’t think my life was worth more than those I’d taken. Sometimes I still wonder if it’s fair that I still live while so many died because of me.
“I’m a bad person. Because as selfish as it is, I’d go through it all again, spill every drop of blood, suffer every day of grief and pain, if it meant I ended up here with you.”
Will pressed a kiss to my chest, right over my scar. “If that makes you a bad person, then I guess I’m one too. Because I can’t regret that you’re here with me now.”
“I think I fell in love with you before we ever met,” I confessed, my voice barely a whisper, and Will’s breathing hitched as he peered up at me. “When I was first given a vision of your beautiful, smiling face. It was the first time in so many years where I felt anything but pain.
“I longed for you, to know who you were. This man with hair blacker than my soul and a storm in his blue eyes. When I was left to my own thoughts, I’d often find myself thinking about you, and those thoughts were the only thing that made the pain bearable.
“Then you saved me, and it all felt surreal. Because there you were, touching me, saying my name. If I didn’t love you before, then I fell for you in that moment.
“I can’t have your past,” I whispered, “but I can have your future. And I want it. I want it so much I ache.” My hands mapped out his torso, loving the way his breath hitched and his skin pebbled under my touch. “I want everything from you. I can’t have all of your firsts, but I can have all of your lasts. And I want them. All of them. Does that scare you?”
“I’m not scared,” he promised, gasping when I teased my fingers through his sparse chest hair before circling my finger around his nipple. “My heart is all yours; I think it always has been.”
And oh, I liked that.
My mouth crashed down on his, and I yanked him flush against my body. His hands tangled in my hair, pulling the strands lightly and sending a wave of blissful prickles down my spine.
His tongue teased mine, and his hips rocked against me. The thin material of his boxer briefs did little to hide his arousal, which only spurred me on.
Slipping one of my thighs between his legs, I placed a palm against Will’s bare waist and urged him to grind against me. He whimpered into my mouth as he complied, and the demon inside me enjoyed that. A lot.
But there was something I’d been thinking about for a while now that I wanted from him. Needed from him desperately.
“Will?”
“Hmm?” he asked, leaning forward to try to steal a kiss, but I pulled back.
“Will you take me?” I asked, watching the way his eyes darkened at my request.
“Are you sure?”
“I’m certain.” I swallowed. “I want to know the way you feel inside me.”
Will’s voice was breathless when he spoke. “Yeah, okay. I think I can do that.”
I grinned. “If it’s too much for you...”
He growled playfully, lunging to place a kiss on my mouth and shut me up.
After helping me rid myself of my pants, his hands memorized every inch of skin as he trailed his fingers down my body. It almost tickled, and I had to resist the urge to laugh. But then his hand circled my cock, and any laughter died as he stroked me slowly.
My head fell backward, wondering how I’d gone so long without this. Without Will’s touch.
But in the next moment, I lurched up in surprise when liquid dumped all over us.
Will cursed. “Sorry! So sorry. I was just trying to summon some lube. I didn’t...” Will looked down at the bucketfuls of liquid seeping into the carpet.
I didn’t dare think of what the person who came to clean would think of this.
With a grimace, I grabbed the blanket from the bed. Lubricant poured down my body as I tried to wipe myself dry.
Will frowned, stripping out of his drenched underwear and tossing them aside. “Well, they do recommend the more lube the better.”
I chuckled. “I don’t think they meant this much, Will.” Dropping the blanket, I yanked him against me. Our bodies made a splat as we collided, and in the next moment, I had my lips on his.
He moaned against me, his hands sliding up to slip into my hair again. My hands gripped his ass as we stumbled backward until we bumped into the window. My butt pressed against the cold glass, and I jolted.
Then one of Will’s hands trailed down my back, brushing over every ridge of my spine. When he reached my crease, my muscles tensed automatically. But as he continued to kiss me while he kneaded my bubbles—as Will sometimes called them—I slowly started to relax.
“Someone might see,” I murmured against his mouth. Then one slick finger slipped along my cleft and whispered over my hole, making me gasp.
“Do you want to move?” he asked, rubbing soft circles over my entrance.
“No,” I admitted, and he grinned against my ear.
“I didn’t think so.”
He nipped along my neck while he continued to tease me, not pressing in, just lightly massaging. When he started kissing me I was so distracted by the flick of his tongue in my mouth and the bite of his teeth against my lips that when he pressed that finger inside me, I barely noticed.
There was a slight burn, but nothing severe. Will was slow as he pressed deeper, touching me in a way no one had before.
He was gentle as he stretched me, pulling back enough so he could watch my face for any sign of discomfort. I stopped breathing when his finger brushed across a spot inside me that sent tingles shooting up my spine and down my thighs. The sensation was almost too much, but when his finger passed over it again and again, soft and slow, I began to move my hips, seeking more.
“You’re doing so well,” Will said, pecking the corner of my parted lips. His breath fanned out against my ear, making me shiver. “Do you think you can handle another finger now?”
I couldn’t speak, my voice failing me. But I nodded frantically.
And when he added that second finger, I arched my back against the window.
My moans filled the room as he worked me over, stroking the walls of my channel and making me see stars. The tap, tap of rain competed with the thump, thump of my heart, and I sucked in deep breaths, trying to stay calm.
But how could I when Will reached out to wrap my hard dick in his free hand?
“Oh, God,” I whimpered as he put more pressure on the spot inside me. “What is that?”
“That,” Will said, licking the sweat from my neck, “is your prostate. It’s a small gland with lots of nerve endings and can feel really good when massaged.”
“I think good is an understatement,” I gasped, and with the added sensation of his hand stroking my length and gently retracting my foreskin the smallest amount to rub the glistening tip of my cock, I felt a pressure form in my lower stomach. And after he continued his stretching and teasing by adding a third finger inside me, I couldn’t take it anymore. “Will, I need to feel you. Please.”
He paused with his fingers still inside me. “Are you sure?”
“ Yes .” When he still hesitated, I growled, “So help me, Will, if—”
Hushing me with his mouth, he slowly removed his fingers from me and grabbed the backs of my thighs with his hands and lifted them around his waist.
Lining himself up to my entrance, Will used the aid of the window to help support my weight, and using my legs around his waist and my arms around his shoulders I did the best I could to help him. He released my trembling legs to hold my ass and slowly, so very slowly, worked himself inside. With all the stretching from earlier, it didn’t hurt. It was a little uncomfortable at first, though that was due to the sensation of something foreign filling me, not from any pain.
But Will took his time entering me, murmuring praises in my ear as he allowed me to grow accustomed to him being inside.
And when his hips pressed flush against me, his cock completely filling me, I released a shaky breath. Because I was wholly his. Finally.
Sweat stuck his hair to his forehead, and his blue eyes were tense at the corners, his mouth pursed with restraint. “You okay?” he rasped, glancing down to where our bodies fit together perfectly.
“So okay,” I promised him. And as if to prove my point, I wiggled my hips until only the head of his cock remained inside me before shifting forward and sinking gently back over his length.
We groaned in unison.
Will moved then, sensually rolling his hips. Occasionally, his cock would glide over my prostate, providing me with even more pleasure. I met each smooth, slow thrust of his hips with one of my own, loving the way he took me, like he wanted to relish every feeling.
It wasn’t fast or frantic, but it was full of passion and tenderness that caused tears to prick the corners of my eyes.
My heartbeat drummed in my ears, and our breaths met between our bodies as we rocked together. And even the thought that someone might see us making love through the window only fueled my desire.
Will’s eyes were hazy with lust, and his fingers dug into my skin hard enough I thought I might bruise. I loved it, loved this fiery man who looked at me with such adoration in his eyes.
My orgasm built and built as our hips rolled together, and I dropped my head back against the glass, loving the slow glide of his dick inside me.
I shook as my release burst from me, coating our torsos in my pleasure. Will growled as he watched my cock pulse with my release, his thrusts picking up momentum and wringing every ounce of ecstasy out of my body.
Then he was spilling inside me, his hot cum coating and claiming my very center.
I moaned at the feeling and gave a slight squeeze.
Will hissed as he continued to thrust shallowly even as his cock softened, almost like he was begging to keep going. But then he stilled, his mouth falling to the crook of my neck where he mouthed sloppy kisses.
And as we stayed there, our bodies slick with lube, cum, and sweat, our bodies full of love, joy, and... also cum, I felt complete.