Chapter 16
Camilla
Camilla stared down at Dallas, her heart barely hanging on. The man sprawled out on his back, gazing at her with surprise, loved her.
He still loved her.
So many questions ripped through her soul at his confession. If he still loved her, then why did he leave in the first place? Was he here to win her back? Could he honestly believe that they could pick up where they’d left off?
Dallas chuckled, but it came out sounding more like a wheeze. He rolled onto his side and slowly rose to his feet. His eyes locked with hers, pinning her in place. Even if she wanted to close the door and tell him to leave, she wasn’t sure she’d be able to do it.
“Hey,” he whispered.
“Hey,” she rasped. Blinking rapidly, Camilla watched as he inched closer.
He lifted a hand and his knuckle grazed down her jawline.
Her eyes fluttered closed at his caress.
Tendrils of electricity sparked along her skin where his touch met hers.
It had been years. Years, and he could still affect her this way. Her breath hitched. “Dallas—”
He pushed his hand around the back of her neck and pulled her closer to him.
But where she expected him to capture her mouth with his, he surprised her by pressing his forehead to hers.
His voice was barely above a whisper when he murmured, “You don’t know how hard it’s been keeping that secret inside. ”
“Was it a secret?”
She sensed more than saw him smile.
“Apparently it’s been less of a secret to everyone but us.”
This time she couldn’t help but let a soft laugh escape her lips. The romantic in her wanted to believe that some part of her knew Dallas still wanted her in his life. She simply hadn’t been brave enough to allow herself to accept it. “Who knew?” she whispered.
“What?” His warm breath flitted across her cheek, starting a fresh wave of goosebumps on her skin.
“Who knew you were still…” She couldn’t bring herself to say it out loud as if doing so would jinx this.
Dallas chuckled. Oh, how she’d missed that sound. His laughter was one of the best things in the world—especially when it was because he enjoyed being with her. He could turn her day around with one of his smiles. And that laugh? It was magic.
She lifted her arms and laced her fingers behind his neck as she pulled back to get a better look at him. “I’m guessing you had one or more discussions about me with some of my family members?”
“You could say that.” He grimaced and it was her turn to laugh. “But it’s not just them.”
Immediately, her stomach bottomed out. He didn’t have to utter a single word for her to know who he was referring to.
Cheyenne. She knew her brother better than anyone.
They might not be identical twins, but they’d shared enough of their lives to know innately what the other was thinking or feeling.
Camilla didn’t have the bandwidth to pick apart the slew of emotions that threatened to overtake her in that moment. Fear that Cheyenne would find out she’d let herself get close to Dallas again. Betrayal that her best friend hadn’t told her that Dallas still cared. And so many others.
Dallas must have read some of the anguish in her expression because his hold on her tightened. “Don’t.”
Her eyes cut to his.
“Don’t pull away from me, Camilla. Not now.
Not when I finally got the door open.” He frowned, his gaze searching hers.
She couldn’t tell if he found what he was looking for, but it probably didn’t matter.
One second he was holding the back of her neck and staring at her hard, and the next, he’d scooped her into his arms and crushed her against his chest. Dallas dug his face into her hair, his breathing growing tight. “Please, Camilla. Can we…”
He sounded like he was spiraling, and it broke her heart. At some point she must have released him because she felt boneless, weightless, as he clung to her. Slowly, she lifted her hands and wrapped them behind his back, gripping his shoulders.
“I’m not going anywhere,” she whispered.
Dallas relaxed but only slightly. His breathing still didn’t seem normal. There was a tension deep in his muscles she wasn’t sure he’d ever release. And she lost track of how long they stood there in the hallway like that.
“Can we…” Her voice cracked and Dallas pulled back to look at her fully.
“What do you need, Camilla?”
She bit down on her lip. As much as she wanted to look away from his penetrating stare, she couldn’t manage the strength for it.
“What is it, Camilla?”
Blinking back her own emotion, she exhaled and nodded more to herself than anything else. “I think we need to talk.”
Dallas grimaced but nodded his assent as well. “That’s probably not a bad idea. We could go out—”
“No.”
He frowned, brows pulling together. “You need to be ready to talk about this. I want you to be able to think clearly.”
“If we don’t do this now, I don’t know if I’ll be…” Brave enough.
That hint of fear flooded his expression, and for a moment she second-guessed herself. She didn’t want to push Dallas into something he wasn’t ready for. It must have taken a great deal of courage for him to lay his heart out like he had when he’d come to her.
Maybe this was selfish.
Maybe she was more worried that he’d realize he’d spoken too soon and didn’t actually want to dive into a relationship with her after all.
Camilla pulled back from him, granting him access to her room. She gestured with a tilt of her head—an invitation—for him to come out of the hall and open the lines of communication further.
His eyes darted to her room and back to her. This was it. The second he crossed over the threshold, they’d be moving into murky waters. They’d need each other to get through it.
Dallas ran a hand over his hair, nodded, and stepped into her room.
She’d never thought her bedroom was small. It was an average size for homes built in Colorado. She had enough space for a queen bed, a decent dresser, a chair, some bookshelves, and a vanity.
But the second Dallas entered, the room practically shrank three sizes.
She watched him move toward her bed. He looked at it, trailed his fingers along the comforter, then sat down on the edge.
He’d been in her room before when they’d dated years ago.
The bedding might be new, but nothing else in this space had changed.
Camilla leaned against the dresser to her back, her fingers digging into the edge of the mahogany wood. Her nerves were pulled taut. Whatever was said in the next several minutes would dictate their future. The weight of what they were about to discuss pressed in on her.
Where was she supposed to start?
Dallas heaved out a breath. “Cheyenne—”
“Cheyenne?” she blurted. “What does Cheyenne have to do with any of this?”
He worked his jaw, then shifted on the edge of the bed. “Will you come sit by me?”
She shook her head.
The pain in his eyes was almost unbearable and she nearly buckled, but she knew if she sat by him, she wouldn’t be thinking clearly at all.
Dallas sighed. “She’s going to be really upset if she finds out about us.”
That was the understatement of the century, but Camilla wanted to know why Dallas thought so.
He peeked at her and shook his head with a mirthless chuckle. “She doesn’t want us together.”
“I know,” she said softly.
This time his whole body stiffened. “She told you?”
She nodded. “Well, sort of. She said that I should stay away from you. I think it has a lot to do with how… things ended.” She swallowed hard.
More like how Dallas had ended things. “She was there for me when you left, Dallas. She had to deal with my heartbreak. She held me when I cried. She brought me ice cream when I didn’t want to go out.
She was cheering me on when I finally decided it was time to move on. ”
His hands balled into fists and his expression darkened. For a moment, she thought he might jump to his feet and charge out of the room.
But he didn’t.
Slowly, his body relaxed again. And when he turned his eyes to meet hers, she saw the sorrow there again. “I’m so sorry, Camilla. I shouldn’t have left without talking to you face-to-face.”
“No, you shouldn’t have,” she agreed.
“I want another chance.”
Camilla watched him carefully, wishing she could, for once in her life, read him the way he seemed capable of reading her. She would have given anything in the world to be able to read his thoughts—to gauge his intentions.
Anything.
Dallas blinked several times and sucked in a deep breath. She’d never seen him cry before, but right now, both of their emotions were high and it was entirely possible.
As if against her own will, Camilla shuffled closer to him. His head tilted upward as she approached, his eyes remaining locked on her as she drew near.
She moved into the space next to him and shifted her attention to his hands. Once upon a time, she’d taken any excuse she could to get him to hold her hand. Her fingers itched to do just that.
No more overthinking.
How many restless nights had she wished he would come back and tell her he was wrong to leave?
Countless.
Camilla reached out and placed a hand on his, smiling when he grasped her hand in his. “One condition,” she whispered.
“What?” His guttural question sent shivers down her spine.
“We can try this… again… under one condition.”
“Anything.” Dallas looked deep into her eyes.
“No more secrets.”
Anticipation clung to the air around them. She didn’t think she needed to clarify what that meant, but then again, he probably didn’t think of what he’d done as keeping a secret from her.
“No more keeping things from me,” she clarified. “No more making decisions that are meant to be made by both of us. I can’t survive it again.”
Dallas took in and exhaled a deep breath. “That’s fair.” He lifted his head and stared up at her again, then pulled her closer to him. “I swear if there’s anything important we need to discuss, I’ll tell you.”
This was terrifying—trying to begin again.
But she was desperate. She’d been so deeply in love with Dallas that she’d lost a piece of herself when he’d left. If all she had to do was look past her own anxieties to get that piece back, she’d do it. She’d been through worse.
“I don’t think we should tell Cheyenne, though.” Dallas made a face. “I know you’re close, but I really think—”
“You’re right.”
He snapped his mouth shut. “What?”
She nodded. “This… whatever it is… whatever it will become… it’s for us.
You and me. No one else. Cheyenne doesn’t need to be involved in our decisions any more than a stranger off the street.
She’s my friend. If she cares about me, she’ll support my decision.
But you’re probably right. With her halfway across the world, there’s nothing she’d be able to do anyway.
There’s no reason to tell her until she gets back.
And who knows?” She shrugged. “We might not make it that long.”
Dallas let out what could only be described as a growl as he jumped to his feet. She would have stumbled back a step if he hadn’t kept his hold on her waist. “This isn’t some fling, Camilla. These feelings… they’re not going to go away.” He put his hands on her shoulders. “I want you to be mine.”
Flutters erupted in her chest.
His.
She liked the sound of that.
Before she could say as much, Dallas pressed his mouth over hers and hungrily kissed her as if he’d been starving for half of his life. She leaned into his embrace, opening herself up, body and soul to him.
Again.