Chapter 18
Camilla
“Hey, you! I feel like it’s been forever!”
Camilla winced as Cheyenne’s happy voice came through the receiver with far too much pep for seven in the morning. It was late where Cheyenne was in China. She’d probably had a fun day with her teaching program and was buzzing with energy. But that was always how Cheyenne had been.
Camilla, on the other hand, had stayed out far too late with a certain someone and hadn’t been prepared for the sun to make its appearance. But it wasn’t only the lack of sleep that had her cringing at Cheyenne’s happy voice.
Guilt clawed at her, unfurling its ugly talons in her chest. This was Cheyenne—her best friend—and the twin to the guy Camilla was in love with.
“Camilla? You still there?”
“I’m here,” she said, pinching the bridge of her nose as she took a seat on a porch chair.
The men who worked for her brother were up and getting started on their tasks.
She half expected to see Dallas but then reminded herself he was out by the cabin.
There was no reason for him to show up at the main house when he was supposed to be working at the edges of the property. “I’m just tired.”
“You? Tired? You’re never tired. Unless…”
Camilla cringed again.
“Camilla! Did you stay out late? With a guy?” At least she sounded happy about it. Cheyenne had never been a fan of the guys that Camilla dated. As soon as Dallas left, she’d gotten really picky about who she gave her stamp of approval.
Sighing, Camilla settled back on the chair with her legs sprawled out in front of her. “Yeah.”
“Anyone I know?”
Was she mistaken or did Cheyenne’s voice carry an edge to it?
No, that would be weird, right? It wasn’t about whether or not she knew the guy. Cheyenne’s protectiveness had everything to do with the opinion that no one would ever be good enough for her best friend.
“I don’t know,” Camilla lied. “But enough about me. Tell me more about what you’ve been up to. You’re nearly halfway done. How does it feel?”
Silence was the worst—especially when it came from Cheyenne. She was more intuitive than anyone Camilla knew. She could sense things that no one else could, and she was really good at it. She probably already knew about Dallas and wanted Camilla to admit to it.
“Is my brother leaving you alone?”
Camilla shut her eyes tight. “Cheyenne—”
“I mean it, Camilla. He shouldn’t be bothering you. He came for his job, and he’ll probably disappear when it’s over.”
Something tightened in Camilla’s chest, and she sat up straighter. Cheyenne had a point. Dallas was only here because of his job. She hadn’t asked him much about it. She didn’t even know if he was one of those remote researchers or if there was an office in the city nearby.
Geez!
Why hadn’t she asked him about it?
Because she didn’t want to drag what they were rekindling into the mud, that’s why.
“Camilla,” Cheyenne snapped. “What is up with you? We’ve been planning this phone call for almost a whole week. And I feel like you’re not even paying attention.”
“I’m sorry,” Camilla said. “You’re right. I need to be more present.”
“So? Is Dallas behaving?”
“Yes,” she said in a clipped tone, though she didn’t think any of it was Cheyenne’s business.
She wasn’t her brother’s keeper, and while it was endearing that she cared enough about Camilla to look out for her, it wasn’t something Camilla wanted right now.
“He’s working hard and being a perfect gentleman. ”
More of that awful silence ensued. Finally, Cheyenne sighed. “Sorry. I’m just… worried. I know how charming he can be. I know how hard and fast you fell for each other. And I don’t want to see you get hurt again.”
“Can’t get hurt if I’m not invested, right?” And that was the biggest non-lie she could have choked out. Because she was invested. She just didn’t want Cheyenne to know. She was allowing herself to really fall for the guy again, and if it didn’t turn out, she’d only have herself to blame.
Cheyenne might not be willing to help her pick up the pieces again.
“Seriously, Cheyenne, tell me about the kids you’re tutoring. I’ve missed our talks.” She was deflecting and wouldn’t have been surprised if Cheyenne could tell. But right now, she didn’t have any interest in telling her best friend about how nice it was to have Dallas back in her life.
They chatted for nearly an hour before Cheyenne pleaded exhaustion and insisted she needed to turn in. Camilla needed to get to work.
The morning passed in a daze. Camilla couldn’t stop thinking about how her life had changed when Dallas had left her.
And how Cheyenne had been the only one to listen and tell her she’d be okay.
While the Palmer family was close, there had been too much going on when her heart had been shattered, and she couldn’t confide in her older siblings.
Mateo and Sophia both had their own broken pieces to pick up.
No one wanted to hear how a fling had swept her off her feet only to make her wish she’d never fallen in love to begin with.
Moping wasn’t Camilla’s style.
She needed to get out of her head and live in the moment. Just because Dallas had abandoned her before didn’t mean he’d do it again. He’d promised he’d tell her everything. They had a good foundation to begin with.
They were going to make it.
The three puppies yipped and crawled over themselves for the treat she held out. Camilla curled her hand closed and tsked until the pups fell back in line. While she didn’t do much of the group training at this stage, she did like to introduce them to training when distractions were present.
Her finger tapped at the empty space where Brax was supposed to be, and she clicked her tongue.
Rex stayed where he was, but Tex and Brax both attempted to fill the void.
Camilla laughed, an exasperated breath puffing from her chest as she scooped them up and placed them on their spots. “Wait,” she commanded.
A low whistle behind her sent a wave of shivers down her spine. As much as she wanted to look Dallas in the eye, she kept her gaze trained on the little minions. “Wait,” she repeated, holding up a treat. All three pups stayed focused on the treat, and she grinned.
“You’re really good at that.”
“Okay,” she released the pups and treated each of them before turning toward her audience. Camilla smirked, one hand on her hip. “I have a knack for putting unruly men in line.”
All it took was that glint in his eye to make her melt. He could wipe away every last thought of insecurity she had. Even the guilt seemed to disappear when he looked at her like that.
“Hey,” he murmured, stepping over the pen she’d set up for the puppies.
The little creatures darted toward him, hopping around his feet.
They already knew better than to jump up on visitors, but that didn’t stop them from investigating.
Dallas chuckled as he stared down at the dogs before he crouched and gave them attention.
There was something about seeing a man with animals that made her heart soar.
They’d been two of a kind. Not only did they both love dancing, but they had connected over their love of animals, too.
Their similarities were only one of the many questions as to why Dallas had ended things between them.
“What’s wrong?”
Camilla startled and realized Dallas was staring at her, his brows furrowed. “Hmm?”
“You look…” He rose to his feet and took her hands in his. “What’s wrong?”
She shook her head and plastered on the smile she wore when she wanted to escape talking about her feelings. “Nothing.”
“Camilla,” he warned. “You promised.”
Swallowing thickly, she glanced down at their clasped hands. He wasn’t wrong. They’d said they weren’t going to keep anything from each other, and she needed to give him the same courtesy she expected from him. Blowing out a heavy breath, she lifted a shoulder. “I was thinking about when you left.”
That frown deepened. She could tell she’d struck a nerve or maybe brought a storm cloud to hover over their relationship. “Camilla.” In that one word was all the apology and guilt he’d demonstrated when they’d first come in contact after being separated for so long.
Camilla blinked, looking up at the sky. “I know I said I didn’t care, but I guess it still bothers me.” It didn’t matter that she was fighting the emotion; those darn tears were threatening to overflow any second now.
Dallas squeezed her hands. “I did it for you.”
She snapped her head back to stare at him. “What?”
He gave her one of the most heart-wrenching smiles she’d ever seen. “I wanted to be someone worthy of you.”
Tears catapulted from her lashes and dragged down her cheeks. “But—”
Dallas brushed away the tears with his thumbs after releasing her hands.
He cupped her face in his hands and shook his head, cutting off what she might have wanted to say.
“Back then… we were kids. We had so many things we still had to figure out. And I knew… I knew I wanted to be the kind of man you deserved. So, I did what I had to. I found a career that would allow me to provide for you. But then…” His voice cracked and he shut his eyes. “I wish I would have called.”
“Me, too,” Camilla whispered. She wanted to yell at him that he’d been an idiot for thinking he wasn’t good enough.
Or for believing that leaving would inevitably mean the end of what they had.
But based on the emotion she saw in his eyes, she already knew he had beaten himself up over this issue enough.
He opened his eyes and that familiar furrow creased deep. He opened his mouth, then closed it before shaking his head. Briefly considering asking him to tell her what he’d been about to say, Camilla thought better of it. They’d both made mistakes. They both wished they could change the past.
And they both knew that couldn’t happen.
Moving forward. That’s what they needed to focus on.
“Want to go on a hike with me?” he asked.
When she got a good look at Dallas, all she saw was the nervous young man he’d been the night of their first kiss. The anxiety he’d had right before he’d confessed his love for her. If she had any question of where he stood before, she didn’t now.
They loved each other. And as long as she could continue to trust him to talk with her whenever something came up, then they’d make it through.
Camilla nodded. “Let me put these little rascals back with their mother.” It was brief, but she caught a glimpse of a strange expression on Dallas’s face.
He must have caught her curiosity because, without prompting, he said, “You’d make a wonderful mother, Camilla.”
Her smile broadened. “Thank you.”
“How many?”
“What?” She laughed.
“How many do you want?” He didn’t have to clarify that he was referring to children, and a heat expanded in her chest at the thought of starting a family with him.
“Four,” she said without hesitation.
His brows shot up. They hadn’t discussed kids when they’d been together years ago. Was he surprised that she wanted so many? These days people usually stopped with one or two children. Larger families weren’t as popular.
“What?” She laughed. “Don’t tell me you’re wanting to have only one.”
He shook his head. “Actually, when I think of my future family, I see myself with four.”
She laughed. “You’re joking.”
Shaking his head, he pulled her into him. “Not even close.” Dallas cocked his head. “What about living arrangements?”
“Living arrangements?” She couldn’t deny she was enjoying this little game of twenty questions.
“Would you be up for traveling? Seeing the world with your family in tow? Or…” He let the question dangle, and she thought about it contemplatively.
Her nose scrunched. What he suggested sounded fun, but not for the long term. She shook her head. “I prefer roots. I like coming home too much. I like stability and knowing where I belong.”
Before he could respond, the door to the training center opened and she glanced over his shoulder to see Isabelle entering the building.
Her eyes narrowed. She had been less than thrilled at the prospect of them hashing things out that one day when Dallas had practically forced himself into their house.
Clearly, she didn’t trust Dallas as much as she used to.
She might have wanted Camilla to share her feelings.
But that didn’t mean she was one hundred percent team-Dallas.
Dallas pulled away. “I’ll wait outside.”
Camilla nodded. “See you in a minute.” She watched Dallas leave, then met her sister’s eyes.
“Are you sure you know what you’re doing?”
Isabelle was four years younger. She didn’t know what it was like to find the kind of love Camilla had. Still, it was sweet she wanted to look out for Camilla the way she did. “Yeah, I know what I’m doing,” Camilla said with a smile.
“I like Dallas as much as the next girl.” She worried her lower lip. “But I don’t want to see you get hurt again.”
She waved a hand at her sister. “Don’t worry about me. I’m sure you have your own guys to fend off.”
Isabelle continued to frown. “Camilla—”
“It’s fine, Izzy. I promise. We’re just barely getting past the awkward stage anyway. There’s a lot to figure out. It’s not like I’m going to run off into the sunset with him. We’ve got a long way to go before that sort of thing is even a thought.”
Still, her sister didn’t look convinced. Camilla laughed, pulling her sister into a hug. “You worry too much. Where’s the carefree girl who used to have a crush on any man beneath a cowboy hat who filled out a pair of jeans the right way?”
Isabelle flushed. “Maybe I’ve realized that happily ever afters aren’t as easy to come by.
” Her words were loaded with something that caught Camilla off guard.
Not even a few months ago, she would have said the same thing—for herself.
But she’d always been interested in setting her friends up with their perfect matches.
Maybe she needed to start worrying about Izzy now.
Her sister flicked her hands toward Camilla. “Go have fun with your boyfriend. I’ve got some stuff to do with the puppies. They’re due for their shots and need their nails trimmed.”
Camilla opened her mouth to argue but changed her mind. Izzie would talk when she was ready. No one knew better than Camilla that sometimes the only thing to help a situation like this was to let time create a buffer.