Chapter 20
Camilla
The calm before the storm.
Where did that saying even come from? Because it described the way Camilla felt perfectly. As happy as she’d been with him, she couldn’t deny the undercurrent of a threat. Maybe it was the fact that the summer was coming to a close far too quickly.
Maybe it was the way that Dallas seemed to be shutting her out. It wasn’t an overt avoidance. In fact, if she tried to point it out, she was certain he’d tell her that she was acting crazy.
And maybe she was.
Camilla groaned and shifted her position.
It was a beautiful day—one where she could see herself going for a walk or a hike with Dallas. One where she should be basking in the afternoon sun rather than sitting here under a tree worrying about her future. She’d come out here to relax, to think, to… dream.
Was it so bad that she could see a future with Dallas? It shouldn’t be. She knew him well enough. They had a history. And he’d promised her that he’d be honest and forthcoming.
He’d promised.
She could trust him. Or at least she wanted to.
Camilla closed her eyes and leaned back against the tree.
She let her head bump on the scruffy bark of the towering oak, then shifted to get comfortable.
There was a root that was digging into her backside and making her question if she shouldn’t go fetch a blanket to sprawl out in the sun like she’d just considered.
Footsteps approached from her side and she glanced up. She’d sensed his arrival. Even when she couldn’t see him, she could tell when Dallas was near. It was that blasted connection that she couldn’t seem to rid herself of.
It was both irritating and exhilarating to have the sort of connection that allowed her to know where on the premises Dallas was when she was present. Did all couples experience that?
“Hey,” he murmured.
Her eyes followed him as he dropped down to lay on his stomach beside her.
He looked tired. There was a strain in his features, like he hadn’t gotten a good night’s sleep for a while.
He rested his head atop his folded arms, and without thinking, she reached for him.
Her fingers raked through his hair, massaging his scalp.
The instinct to soothe him was all she had, even while her heart screamed at her to talk about her insecurities—if only to confirm they were ridiculous.
He groaned with pleasure, his eyes falling closed. “That feels amazing.”
She smiled despite herself. Right here, they could simply exist in each other’s orbit. They could pretend that there wasn’t a storm cloud threatening to dump insurmountable problems at their feet.
Dallas sighed and she continued running her fingers through his hair. Her thoughts turned thoughtful. He must have sensed her unease because suddenly, he turned his head and peered up at her. “What’s wrong?”
Camilla shook her head, forcing a smile. Beautiful day. Beautiful man. She wasn’t going to let them go to waste.
He frowned and scooted closer before rolling over onto his back. His eyes remained locked on her, the set of his jaw tight.
A strained laugh escaped her lips as she pressed a thumb to that crease between his brows. “If you keep looking at me like that, you’re going to make this permanent.”
His hand reached up and grasped her wrist within it. While not painful, his grip on her wasn’t the sort of thing she could easily pull away from. “Promises,” he said.
“What about them?”
“We said we’d talk about everything.”
She could have snorted at that. The day they’d gone on that hike to the ridge came to mind immediately.
He’d been holding back on something. She knew it in her bones.
If she had pushed it then, she knew he would have pulled away, so she’d ignored the way he’d looked at her—that strained expression like he wanted to tell her something, but he didn’t want to make her mad.
Lucky for Dallas, she didn’t do that. She didn’t start the argument that simmered beneath the surface. All she did was shrug. “I’m not hiding anything.”
It was clear her words hit their mark when he released her and looked away. The muscles in his jaw tensed, and that unease that unfurled in her chest grew erratic. No, she wasn’t hiding anything. It was perfectly clear that she was worried—but more so that it had something to do with his behavior.
Checkmate.
Dallas blew out a heavy breath and opened his mouth. Finally. He might not be ready to talk about whatever it was, but he was succumbing to the fact that they couldn’t move forward when the lines of communication weren’t wide open.
“Camilla! Good, I found you.”
Her head snapped up to see Jason heading for them.
Dallas immediately stiffened and she had to bite back a smile at his defensive reaction.
“Have you seen Isabelle? Nikki wanted some help with dinner because Mark is going out with his wife for their anniversary. We’re short-staffed.”
Camilla frowned. “Honestly, I haven’t. But Marcus was heading over to the chicken coop a bit ago to check for more eggs. Maybe he’d be willing?”
It was brief but unmistakable when Jason grimaced. Camilla tilted her head as she studied him. His neutral expression returned. “Sure, I’ll check. Thanks.”
Both Camilla and Dallas watched him walk away, and when he was no longer within earshot, Dallas scoffed. “I don’t care what you think; he’s still got a thing for you.”
She laughed. “You’re either blind or more of an idiot than I thought.”
“Ouch,” he muttered, though his voice was soft.
Camilla gazed down at him with a grin. “Jason definitely has a crush on a Palmer, but it’s not me. Did you see how he reacted to hearing Isabelle wasn’t available?”
“No.” Dallas shifted, scooting until he appeared to find a more comfortable position.
“He was disappointed.”
This time, Dallas chuckled. “If he was disappointed, it’s because he wasn’t thrilled about the idea of cooking with Marcus. Your youngest brother might be good with the animals, but I doubt he could boil water without burning the house down.”
She whacked him playfully. “Hey.”
He grunted. “I didn’t know you were that protective of your baby brother.
What I meant to say was that I’d rather spend my evening cooking with a pretty woman than her brother.
What makes Jason any different?” The way he stared at her so unabashed had her stomach swirling with something not entirely unpleasant.
Dallas lifted his hand to her face and ran a calloused hand along her cheek. “You’re so beautiful. Have I told you that?”
Leaning into his touch, Camilla smiled softly. “You might have to remind me.”
“No one gets my heart racing like seeing you for the first time each day. I’m so deeply in love with you that there’s no way I’ll ever recover.”
Those fluttering sensations in her chest only ticked up a notch at his sweet words.
“I can see a future with you, Camilla. Whenever I close my eyes, you’re all I see.”
She exhaled a shaky breath. “I can see myself with you, too.” This was the closest they’d ever gotten to planning their future. “I see it all, Dallas. The picket fences. The kids. The big family dinners.”
It wasn’t as pronounced as before, but that crease between his brows returned.
“Anywhere?”
“What?” Confusion temporarily distracted her from the obvious worry lining his face. She searched his eyes, looking for clarification. What did he mean, anywhere? Did he not want to settle down in Copper Creek? She hadn’t thought about moving to a different place before.
Then again, Copper Creek hadn’t been the place where she’d been born. It wasn’t like she hadn’t moved before. She’d grown up in a different state, and this place was home mostly because of her siblings.
He opened his mouth once more, but his words were cut off when Jason called out to her again. Instead, a growl slipped past his lips.
She looked up and saw Jason striding toward them again. He didn’t look thrilled at all.
“I’m sorry to ask you this, but would you mind helping out?
Marcus refused, and I still can’t find Isabelle.
” He looked flustered, or maybe it was just irritation that seeped from his pores.
Camilla felt bad for him. He probably hadn’t thought that getting hired here would land him in the kitchen indefinitely.
Most men who worked on a ranch focused on the animals and the heavy labor that entailed.
Camilla nodded. “Of course.” She glanced down at Dallas apologetically. “Can we talk about this later?”
He nodded as he pulled himself to a seated position. The softness in his gaze sharpened immediately when he turned dark eyes on Jason.
Before they ended up in an argument or some show of masculinity, Camilla jumped to her feet. She gave Jason a little push toward the cafeteria building before she tossed a smile over her shoulder toward Dallas.
I love you, she mouthed.
He winked, then mouthed it right back.
Food prep allowed her to think more thoroughly about the conversation she’d been having with Dallas.
It was possible that his attitude could be linked to his own insecurities.
Since he’d arrived back, he’d made it clear he took full responsibility for what had happened—as he should.
He’d been the one to leave without a word.
Maybe she’d been too hard on him without realizing it. If he was so worried about losing her that all he could fixate on was whether they’d be able to make it work anywhere, then perhaps it was time she put those concerns to rest.
Her own insecurities were valid. But he hadn’t given her any reason to doubt him, and it wasn’t fair of her to punish him for something he hadn’t even done.
“You doing okay?” Nikki’s soft voice roused Camilla from her inner turmoil.
Camilla flashed a grin at her sister-in-law. “Of course. Why wouldn’t I be?”
Nikki gave her cutting board a pointed look. “Chopped and minced aren’t the same thing. You know that, right?”
Cheeks burning, Camilla shook her head. “Sorry.”
“No worries.” Nikki still looked at her with concern. “Anything I can help with?”
Camilla sighed, then glanced at Jason out of the corner of her eye. She didn’t know if he was eavesdropping or if he even heard the hushed question. But Nikki didn’t miss the movement. She gave Camilla a knowing look. “Say no more. If you ever need to talk, just let me know.”
Nodding her thanks, Camilla set to work on the peppers.
The onions were a mushy mess, but thankfully their size wouldn’t mess with the dish tonight.
She glanced over at Jason, but his expression remained unreadable.
The last thing she wanted was for him to overhear her complaining about her relationship with Dallas or asking for help.
He’d been in the thick of it from the beginning, and she wasn’t interested in letting him have a front-row seat to it if it imploded.
The more she thought about Dallas, the more she knew she’d have to give him an answer, or his mounting anxiety would be harder to combat.
So as soon as she was done helping in the kitchen, she tracked him down.
Dallas saw her coming and strode toward her.
He was about to pull her in for a hug when she placed a finger on his chest. His frown almost broke her heart, but she smiled to ease the ache.
“Home is where the heart is, Dallas. To answer your question, you have my heart. As long as you’re with me, it will feel like home. ”
The look of utter relief in his eyes helped to further soothe her heart. She didn’t know what the future held, but she trusted him. He wouldn’t uproot her and force her into anything she didn’t want. That was what their promise had been about. They’d make their decisions about the future together.
Especially the big ones.