Chapter 26
Camilla
It was bound to happen.
Camilla had been preparing for it.
The second she saw Dallas striding toward her out of the corner of her eye, she knew. She knew he would force her to speak to him.
Thankfully, her family had given her enough of a buffer between the two of them for the last couple of days that she’d managed to figure out what she was going to say.
“Camilla, we need to talk,” he insisted.
The only person home right now was Isabelle, and Camilla had a feeling her younger sister wasn’t exactly team Camilla when it came to Dallas.
Cheyenne was supposed to stop by, but then something came up, leaving Camilla vulnerable. Slowly, she turned to face Dallas. She crossed her arms and forced herself not to look at him the way she’d been during the summer.
Who cared if he was gorgeous and tall and every bit the handsome man she always wanted? Who cared that his kisses could make her legs weak and her toes curl inside her boots?
She did.
She cared, and there was no denying it.
Camilla lifted her chin and stared at him in the eye. “I know we do.”
He blinked, his head rearing back slightly. “You… I thought…”
“Just because I know we should talk doesn’t mean I want to,” she sniped. “I don’t think I’ll ever fully be prepared for this conversation.”
He blinked a few more times, then rubbed the back of his neck. Maybe she’d taken the wind right out of his sails with the way she’d accepted his request so easily. That brought her a modicum of pleasure. She could still throw him off his guard.
“Camilla, I wanted to say—”
She held up a hand, cutting him off. “Let me say something first. If I don’t, I’m not sure I’ll be able to get it out.”
Slowly, Dallas nodded. “Okay.”
Sucking in a deep breath and releasing it through pursed lips, Camilla closed her eyes and prayed for strength. “I forgive you.”
She sensed him move closer to her. Maybe it was the heat of his body. Or maybe it was the quiet, hopeful sound of his voice. “You do?”
Flinching, Camilla opened her eyes and took a decided step away from him. All it would take was one touch from him and she’d lose all the strength she had to refuse him. That was what love did to her. It made her second guess herself and the reasons she had for treating Dallas the way she did.
If he pulled her in for a hug right now, she wouldn’t stand her ground. She’d let him sweet-talk her into taking him back. But she couldn’t do that. She couldn’t sacrifice her heart a third time. The pain had cut too deep. The scars already had a hard time healing.
Dallas frowned at her reaction and his hands dropped to his sides listlessly. “It doesn’t feel that way,” he said.
Tears burned in the back of her eyes. She tried to blink them away, but it only made the burning sensation worse. “I said I forgive you. That doesn’t mean that I want to start this thing between us again.”
The pain etched in his features was almost too much for her to bear. She felt it with her whole shattered heart. She nearly took a step toward him to pull him in for a hug—to comfort him, shield him from the heartache she was causing.
Fingers digging into her palms as she fisted them tight, she refrained.
“For how long?” he asked quietly.
“How long, what?”
Dallas cleared his throat and looked away. “I want you back, Camilla. I’ll do whatever it takes.”
She shook her head. “It doesn’t work that way. I gave you another chance. I can’t keep doing that. Whenever I do, another piece of me is taken.” A tear slipped free and she brushed at it as quickly as she could, but he glanced up at her as she did.
“I’m sorry I hurt you. You believe me, right?”
A nod was all she could offer.
“And you still can’t believe that I won’t do it again?”
Blowing out a steadying breath, she shook her head.
“It’s not only you, Dallas. It’s everyone I’ve dated.
Or most of them. I’ve been left behind by so many people.
Figuratively and literally. The guys I date don’t stick around.
They end up breaking up with me for no real reason they can give me, or they up and ghost me.
It’s getting harder and harder to trust anyone.
The only people in my life that I can trust are my family. And Cheyenne.”
A dark cloud seemed to cross over Dallas’s features at that. He took a sudden step forward, and she sucked in sharply but stood her ground. “Cheyenne isn’t the person you think she is. She’s been lying to you, too.”
Camilla thought back to the night when she’d sat with Cheyenne in silence. She’d asked her friend if she knew that Dallas had been planning on leaving. The way Cheyenne had reacted had been strange, but then Camilla hadn’t been in the best headspace.
She shook her head, pushing aside her doubts.
“Cheyenne is my best friend. She was there for me when you weren’t.
” The bite in her tone was sharper than she’d meant it to be, and when she met his gaze, she scowled at him to make it clear she wasn’t willing to be manipulated.
“You left, Dallas. You left without a single word.”
“That’s not true.” He strode into her, his body colliding with her own. The only thing stopping that from happening was his hands wrapping gently but firmly around her upper arms. “I wrote you a letter. I made it clear I was going to come back for you if you’d let me.”
Her head spun. He was lying. If there had been a letter, she would have known. “What letter?” she rasped, attempting to take a step back, but his hold on her persisted.
“I gave it to Cheyenne. I told her to tell you I was sorry, that I was weak for not being able to tell you goodbye in person. It was a mistake, Camilla. One of the biggest mistakes of my life. I should have never left without making sure you got that letter.”
She shook her head again as if the motion would be enough to clear it. “But, I called. I tried reaching out to you. I wanted answers—”
“I ended up getting a new phone number before I left. Cheyenne was supposed to give it to you, too.”
Her face flushed hot. No. She couldn’t believe that Cheyenne would do such a thing. That she would keep this information from her. Everything Dallas was saying meant that she’d been burned by not only him but his sister as well.
She tore away from him, the heat of his lingering touch burning into her skin.
“Camilla—”
“No,” she snapped. “No. You don’t get to come over here and tell me all of this and pretend that everything will go back to normal.”
“I never said it would.” His voice was quiet, meek. He wasn’t coming closer to her, and he wasn’t making demands.
Good. She couldn’t think straight right now. She needed to figure out what was going on.
“That’s not all, Camilla.”
Her eyes snapped to his. “What do you mean?”
He closed his eyes, and for a moment all she saw was the man she’d fallen in love with.
Gone was the anguish she read in his eyes.
His entire form relaxed as he focused on what he was going to say.
She got the distinct impression that whatever it was would hurt—more than everything else he’d already said.
“Dallas?”
“I can’t prove it, but I think Cheyenne has been manipulating every relationship you’ve had so far.”
“What?”
The air had officially been knocked from her lungs. She couldn’t breathe.
“Cheyenne said something to me the other day—when she found—” He cut himself off and cleared his throat.
“When she found out that we were dating again. She said that you were her friend first. She claimed I stole you from her.” His face reddened somewhat.
“I guess she thought that if we were together, she wouldn’t have you anymore.
” Dallas dragged a hand down his face and blew out a breath.
“Honestly, I wouldn’t be surprised if she thought anyone else in your life would end up coming between the two of you. ”
“She wouldn’t do that,” Camilla whispered. “She was always excited for me when someone asked me out.”
Dallas shrugged. “I could be wrong. I don’t know. But it really sounds like my sister has some deep-seated issues when it comes to feeling abandoned.”
A snort escaped Camilla’s throat. “I guess we could start a club.”
He winced at her declaration. Good. He’d abandoned her for the last time.
“I’m not going to take you back, Dallas. I can’t. I don’t think my heart could take it.”
His expression crumbled. “But Cheyenne—”
“She did some terrible things, too—if what you said is true. But that doesn’t change the fact that you broke my heart. Twice. You left and were too scared to tell me in person why. You didn’t reach out. Are you forgetting that my number never changed?”
Dallas looked away. “I know.”
“And when you came back?” Her tears were flowing freely now. “You worked so hard to win my trust back, and yet you continued to keep stuff from me. Honestly, I don’t know if you’re capable of being completely transparent with me. I don’t know who to trust anymore.”
He opened his mouth but then shut it. She watched him as he paced a few steps in front of her, and then he stopped and stared at her with the most forlorn expression known to man. “You’re right. On all of it. I really messed up.”
She continued staring, unable to say anything more without turning into a blubbering mess.
“But I’ll fix it. I swear to you, Camilla. I will fix this. Just… give me time.”
Camilla attempted to argue, but he held up a hand to cut off any words she might say.
“Time, Camilla. That’s all I’m asking for.” With that, he strode away, leaving her with more questions than answers and more pain than peace.