22. Jamie
twenty-two
Jamie
Dear Mom,
It’s crazy writing this to you from summer camp. It still doesn’t feel like a thirty-year-old man belongs at a summer camp, but what I’ve learned from this experience is that those things that I loved as a kid can be just as enjoyable as an adult.
I reread the words and shook my head. No matter what I did, it sounded like it was in the voice of a twelve-year-old. I’d never seen myself doing this in my life, but it was going to make her day. In the end, that was what mattered.
It was hard to get my mind off everything I’d been through in the past few days. I wanted to write my mother a reasonable but gushing letter after her kind care package, but there was a lot to put down on paper.
It’s been kind of crazy how things have panned out. I’ve been spending a lot more time with Ren. We haven’t been able to have this much fun probably ever. You were right in your letter. This has been really good for our friendship.
I was always honest with my parents. Our family didn’t shy away from talking about our emotions and the things that mattered. It was a breath of fresh air compared to what I was used to dealing with in Seattle: shallow how-are-yous, guarded answers, and professionalism.
Other than that, I guess I have something kind of unexpected to tell you…
I stared at the words and scratched them out.
Remember the reason you had to fly down and pick my ass up off the floor my freshman year of college? She’s here.
I scratched that out too. Oh god. How did you even broach this topic when you didn’t know what it meant?
I think I have feelings for Autumn. Again.
I scratched the final line, staring at the disappointing sheet and crumpling it up before rewriting everything and changing the last line:
You’ll never believe who’s here.
That was it. I rushed through the part involving Autumn.
Overthinking would get me nowhere. It worked.
By the end of the hour, I had a letter that was ready to be mailed.
I put a handmade bookmark made with dried flowers inside, hoping she would use it in her next favorite read, and rushed it out before the final mail call.
More than likely, it wouldn’t get to her before the end of camp, not that it mattered, but we weren’t all that far from Portland, so there was a good chance.
I found Hazel carrying a beige mailbag, Santa style. She held it open for me and closed the bag when I was done. I nodded my thanks before she handed the bag to Lamar, who ran it toward the camp gate.
“Hey, Jamie, before you go—would you mind stopping by the office for a quick chat?” There was an excitement to Hazel’s tone, which was the only reason I wasn’t filled with anxiety over her question. It wasn’t quite “we need to talk,” but it was still slightly nerve-racking.
“Sure.” I followed her into the main office.
“Hey, Zel!” Leo bounced excitedly as we slipped inside the doors. “Look who just sent us a birth announcement.”
Hazel pulled the cardstock card from his hand, and her eyes crinkled from her warm smile.
I’d only caught smirks and grins from her, never full-fledged smiles.
She showed me the back of the announcement and then the front, running her fingers over the embossed words.
I kind of loved being included, even though I had no idea who these people were.
On one side was a happy couple holding a small bundle in a yellow blanket.
On the other was a baby sleeping in a basket.
It had been a long time since I’d gotten one of these in the mail.
It just reminded me that my niece and nephew had been growing up faster and faster.
It felt like every time I saw them a new milestone had been hit.
Autumn hung up a phone, making her presence known. She wrote something down on a slip of paper as she talked to Leo. “The winery has our order, but they can’t get it to us in time.”
He shook his head. “We can run over there and get it, but—”
“Who’s going to do that?” Hazel interjected.
“I’ve got a couple of hours,” Autumn started, and I wanted to offer to go with her, but that would look out of place. Plus, I had no idea why I was here. “I need to go get my purse. Hey, Jamie.” She smiled at me as if she’d just realized I was there.
Leo opened a safe and grabbed a credit card out of its depths.
They discussed the list, and she rushed out, not making any more overtures to me or Hazel.
She was busy, but she was probably also trying not to draw attention to us, which was good.
I had no idea what the implications were for her dating—no, sleeping with — a camper, but they couldn’t have been good. Although they did seem pretty cool…
Hazel pulled out a seat for me before going to her desk. “So the reason you’re here... We were thinking… I mean, you can say no if you want to…”
Leo cupped her shoulder. “This isn’t something to be nervous over.”
“I know, but he’s here to have fun. And he’s paying for it.” Technically, that wasn’t true. Ren had paid for our stay. And after he dropped a water balloon over my head, I would probably wait to pay him just to be an asshole.
“I'm right here, you know.”
She forged ahead. “Look, this is probably inappropriate, but Autumn told us that you might be willing to give us some legal advice. It’ll be really quick. Probably. Or we could wait until you’re back in the office and video chat or something…”
“How about you ask me your question and we’ll go from there? Though it’s important to remember, I practice corporate law. In Washington.”
Hazel nodded as if she already knew. “We’ve had someone approach us about expanding.” She delivered this as if it were bad news, but Leo’s face was lit up. “To another state, probably Northern California.”
He cut in. “We don’t have any idea what we’re doing. With negotiations and the contract, not with the camp.”
“That sounds like a great idea. This place is magical,” I practically blurted.
Leo smiled at her, and they shared something I couldn’t explain before he looked back at me.
“Thank you,” he said humbly. “We were thinking this might be a good way to spread that magic, I guess, so that more people can attend. We’ve sold out for years now, and we only have so much space to spread out in—”
“And barely up-to-code cabins can be built in a day,” Hazel deadpanned.
“She’s joking,” Leo corrected.
“Actually, if you’re going to be our lawyer, we can disclose anything, right?” Hazel continued her joke as if Leo hadn’t written the first one off. “Because those cabins in Orion are the worst ones. Like, we probably shouldn’t even be using—”
He ignored her. “ The point is, this sounds like a pretty cool idea, and we wanted to go over what you think we need to address with all of this.”
They were right. This was my vacation, and work was the last thing I wanted on my mind, but I wanted to help them despite that. Not to mention the result would make Autumn happy. This was a no-brainer. Not that I was trying to make her happy or anything. I was being completely casual.
“I’d love to help. Tell me what you need.”
The rest of the day went by slowly without Autumn around. I went for a swim, and now I was turning the last page of my book in the Meditation Meadow. This shouldn’t have been a momentous occasion, but it was.
I hadn’t read a book for fun since college.
I hadn’t had time, and when I did, I usually spent it cleaning or sleeping.
Even with the time I’d spent messing around with Ren and navigating this whole ex-girlfriend situation, I’d found the time to relax.
It felt so good. It seemed like every activity I participated in, fun or mundane to most, made me reevaluate what I’d been doing with my life and what else I was missing out on.
As Ren had reminded me, that was just what happened on vacation.
He’d also mentioned the fact that we’d probably need a vacation from our vacation, but I wasn’t worried about that.
What I was worried about was the dread that filled me at the idea of leaving here. I chose not to dive into that too much.
By the time I made it to the mess hall, I was rejuvenated and relaxed, but I was also starving. I got some food and sat on a bench next to Emerson, Lamar, and Sawyer. I pushed my roasted broccolini around my plate to mix with my mascarpone mashed potatoes and took a hearty bite.
“Has anyone seen Gia?” Emerson asked.
I nearly spat out my food, choking as it went down the wrong pipe. Emerson rubbed my back until the cough went away, but no one else seemed to notice my outburst.
“She left early. Wasn’t feeling good,” Lamar said as if it wasn’t that big of a deal.
“Left as in left? ” I asked. I wasn’t surprised, not really, but it hadn’t been my intention for her to remove herself from the premises when I told Jack. But I guessed the chips fell where they did, and I had to accept the consequences of my actions. Still, I’d done the right thing.
“Yeah,” Sawyer said. The crowd in the mess hall drowned out their voice, so I leaned in to listen. “Apparently, she gets these bad migraines, and they weren’t going away. It’s probably the pressure or the altitude up here.”
“She seemed all right to me,” Lamar commented.
“Women are frequently able to cover that kind of shit up,” Emerson posited, and Lamar nodded in recognition. Her eyes filled with sadness. “I just wish we’d gotten a goodbye.”