Chapter 10 #2
Emma had slipped in last, hugging her battered notebook like a shield. For a heartbeat, her gaze met Colin’s—fragile, searching. No smile, but a flicker of trust, or maybe just hope, before she curled into her seat.
She sat in the same chair between Nate and Colin, wrapped her arms around herself, and tucked her chin down.
Joshua stood and moved to the center of the circle.
“All right,” he said. “Welcome back. And welcome to River and Marcus—glad you’re here.
” He paused, letting the room settle. “Yesterday was a lot of talking from us, a lot of information. Today, I want to flip that. Today is about you. Whatever you want to talk about, whatever questions you have, whatever’s on your mind—this is your space. ”
Silence.
Joshua didn’t rush to fill it. He just waited, hands loose at his sides, eyes scanning the circle without pressure.
Finally, Ben raised his hand.
“Yeah, Ben?”
“Um,” Ben adjusted his glasses then picked at the spiral of his notebook, voice wavering. “What if… what if you think you know, but you’re scared to say it? Like, what if you get it wrong?”
Joshua smiled. “Honestly? There’s no script. But here’s what I can tell you: the simpler, the better. You don’t need to make a big speech. You don’t need to explain yourself or justify who you are. You can literally just say, ‘Hey, Mom, Dad, I believe I’m gay,’ and leave it at that.”
Ben nodded slowly. “But what if they ask questions? Like, how do I know, or am I sure?”
“Then you tell them the truth,” Joshua said. “You can say, ‘I’ve known for a while,’ or ‘I’m sure,’ or even ‘I’m still figuring some things out, but this is where I am right now, or…’”
“Wait!” Ben called out, opening his journal. “Let me write these down.” He began to scribble, and Alex sat down beside him, reminding him of what Joshua had said.
Joshua smiled and waited until Ben caught up. “The important thing is that you’re not trying to convince them. You’re just telling them who you are.”
Marissa raised her hand. “What if you’re not ready to tell your parents, but you want to tell your friends?”
“Then start there,” Joshua said. “There’s no rule that says you have to come out to everyone at once. Hell, wait ’til you’re thirty! You get to control the pace. You tell who you want, when you want, in whatever order feels right to you.”
River spoke up, her voice flat and confident. “I told my friends first. Then my mom. My dad still doesn’t know, and honestly, I don’t care if he ever does.”
“How’d your mom take it?” Daniela asked.
River shrugged. “She cried for like a day, then she bought a pride flag and hung it in my room. So, you know. Could’ve been worse.”
A few kids smiled.
Marcus, who’d been bouncing his knee nonstop, suddenly blurted out, “What if you’re not sure? Like, what if you think you might be bi, but you’re not... I don’t know... bi enough?”
Emilio snorted. “Bi enough? What does that even mean?”
Marcus flushed. “I don’t know! Like, what if I’ve never actually dated anyone? What if I’m just... confused?”
Joshua leaned forward. “You’re not confused, Marcus.
And there’s no such thing as ‘bi enough.’ If you’re attracted to more than one gender, you’re bi.
You don’t need to have dated someone to know who you’re attracted to.
Straight people don’t have to prove they’re straight before they get to claim the label, right? Same rules apply.”
Marcus’s knee stopped bouncing, and a half-smile crept across his face. “OK. Yeah, that makes sense!”
Jamie, who’d been scrolling on his phone, suddenly looked up. “What about nonbinary? Like, what if you don’t feel like a guy or a girl?”
“Then you’re nonbinary,” Joshua said simply. “Gender isn’t binary. It’s a spectrum. Some people are firmly on one end, some people are in the middle, some people move around. There’s no right or wrong way to experience gender.”
“But how do you know?” Jamie pressed. “Like, how do you know you’re not just... weird?”
“Because ‘weird’ isn’t a gender,” Nate said from his spot in the circle. “And also, you’re not weird. You’re just you. If the labels we’ve been given don’t fit, we get to pick new ones. No one else gets to decide who we are! No one.”
Jamie stared at him for a second, then nodded slowly and went back to his phone. But Colin saw the corner of his mouth twitch—not quite a smile, but close.
Emma’s hand twitched, like she was thinking about raising it and Colin held his breath.
But then she pulled her hand back into her lap and stayed silent.
Emilio cleared his throat, but his words came out rough. “What if someone you care about is in trouble? What if it’s your best friend? And you’ve tried everything, and you just… can’t get through. Do you just give up?”
The room went still.
Joshua’s expression softened. “Are we talking about drugs?”
Emilio hesitated, then nodded.
“Then you tell an adult,” Joshua said. “I know it feels like you should be able to handle it yourself. But the truth is, addiction is bigger than any one person. You can’t fix it for them.
All you can do is make sure they have access to help when they’re ready.
And most importantly, you take care of yourself!
You can’t help anyone else if you’re floundering.
Get support for you first, then offer help to them. ”
Emilio’s jaw tightened. “But what if they’re not ready? What if they get pissed at me for telling?”
“They might,” Colin said quietly. “And the truth about that is, you can’t do a thing to make them ready.
” He looked down at his feet and sighed, then looked back up at Emilio.
“Here’s the rule, kid: you didn’t cause it, you can’t control it, and you can’t cure it.
The three C’s. That’s the rule. That’s the law of addiction in someone you care about. ”
Emilio looked down at his hands.
Alex shifted in his seat. “Last year, my friend was using. I didn’t want to snitch. But I told Colin anyway, and he… he didn’t judge me. My friend’s still working on stuff. But I’m not so scared anymore. I guess… I just want you to know it’s not all on you.”
Emilio glanced at Alex, then at Colin. “So, you’re saying I should talk to someone?”
“We’re saying you don’t have to carry this alone,” Colin said.
“If you want to talk—privately, after the session—I’m here.
Or Joshua. Or Kyle. We’re not going to judge you, and we’re not going to make it worse.
We’re just going to help you figure out the next step, if there is one.
If there’s not, we’ll help you figure that out too. ”
Emilio nodded slowly. He didn’t say anything else, but something in his posture shifted—just a little.
Emma’s eyes flickered to Emilio, arms hugging her chest so tight her knuckles went white. She bit her lip, mouth working, then just shook her head, curls hiding her face.
But she didn’t speak.
Joshua let the silence sit for a moment, then said, “Anyone else? Any other questions?”
Ben raised his hand again. “Can I ask about relationships? Like, dating?”
“Absolutely,” Joshua said. “In this circle, you can ask anything—except how Nate gets his hair that high. That’s classified.”
A soft laugh echoed around the circle, and everyone seemed to relax. Even Nate grinned.
“OK. So... how do you even meet people? Like, how do you find other gay people?”
Nate laughed. “The eternal question.”
Joshua smiled. “It’s harder in small towns, I won’t lie.
But there are ways. LGBTQ+ youth groups like this one, online communities—safely, with boundaries—Pride events in bigger cities.
And honestly, sometimes you meet people in the most random places.
The important thing is to build your community wherever you can find it. ”
“What about dating apps?” River asked.
“Not until you’re eighteen,” Colin said immediately. “And even then, be careful. There are a lot of people online who aren’t who they say they are.”
“That’s terrifying,” Marcus muttered.
“It can be,” Joshua said. “But that’s why you build a community. So you have people to talk to, people to check in with, people who have your back. Friends.”
The conversation continued for another twenty minutes—questions about pronouns, questions about transitioning, questions about what it’s like to be married to another guy. Joshua answered everything with patience and honesty, and more and more, they could see the kids relaxing into the experience.
By the time Nate stood to introduce the journaling workshop, the room felt different. Lighter. Like something had shifted.
“All right,” Nate said. “This afternoon, we’re doing creative journaling. But before we break into that, I want to give you a heads-up: if anyone wants to talk privately to Colin, Joshua, or Kyle, now’s the time to set that up. We’ll be around all afternoon.”
A few kids exchanged glances.
Emilio raised his hand. “Can I talk to you?” he asked, looking at Joshua.
“Absolutely,” Joshua said. “Grab me after we wrap up here. We can meet in the small office. Door open as always.”
Emilio nodded. “That’s cool.”
Ben raised his hand too. “Can I talk to Colin?”
Colin nodded. “You bet. Find me after.”
Emma didn’t raise her hand. But when Colin caught her eye, she gave the tiniest nod.
That was enough.
The group session broke up at noon.
Nate immediately claimed the long table and started spreading out supplies—markers, colored pencils, glue sticks, magazines for collaging, stickers with affirming messages, and a stack of printouts containing dozens of writing prompts.
“Journaling starts in fifteen minutes!” he announced.
“Grab lunch, use the bathroom—whatever you need. But come back ready to create.”
Most of the kids filtered toward the kitchenette where Kyle had set out sandwiches and snacks. A few lingered, talking quietly to each other.
Emilio hung back near the door, hands shoved in his pockets, eyes on the floor.
Joshua walked over to him. “Hey. You wanted to talk?”
Emilio nodded without looking up.