Chapter 16
SIXTEEN
The next day, I walked into the tutoring center and found Abby at our usual table. Despite the term being halfway done, there was hardly anyone here. It should’ve made things feel more relaxed, but the tension in Abby’s body said otherwise.
Her shoulders were hunched, and the usual confident demeanor I’d grown accustomed to with her was nowhere to be found.
Guilt ate away at me.
Was this because of yesterday?
Had I screwed up and made a mistake by not telling her I was Bear?
No. I’d made the right decision.
And now I needed to activate part two of my plan, which was figuring out why she didn’t like me so I could come up with a way to change her mind.
She glanced up at me and gave me a soft smile. “Hey.”
“Hey.”
“How’d your quiz go?”
I smiled wide and pulled my laptop out of my bag. “You’re gonna need to see it to believe it.”
Her lips curled up more as I opened the student portal and found my math quiz results.
I spun my laptop to face her so she could see.
The bold B- wasn’t exactly honor roll material, but compared to my previous F, it might as well have been an A+.
“I passed the midterm, and if I can keep this up, I’ll definitely pass the class. ”
“Foster!” Abby’s face lit up, and she squeezed my arm. “That’s amazing!”
Her touch sent a jolt through me, and when she quickly pulled her hand away, I wondered if she’d felt it too. There was a moment of awkward silence before she cleared her throat and returned to teacher mode.
“The number tracking app I recommended—have you been using it?”
I nodded. “Every day. Ten minutes of practice, just like you said.” The app was designed for people with dyscalculia, giving exercises that strengthened number recognition and sequencing. “I’m up to level four now.”
“Already? That’s really impressive progress.”
I shrugged, trying not to look too pleased with myself. “Turns out I’m competitive even with math apps.”
She laughed, and the sound made warmth fill my chest. “Who would’ve thought, a hockey player being competitive?”
This was new territory—Abby making jokes, being comfortable enough to tease me.
I liked it.
I wanted more of it.
“So,” she said, getting back to business, “where are you still struggling?”
For the next hour we worked on my math skills.
As we were packing up, I mentioned something I’d been thinking about since yesterday. “That was a nice thing you did for that girl at the café yesterday.”
Abby’s cheeks flushed, and my mind veered in a dangerously dirty direction, imagining making her flush like that for a very different reason.
“Oh, well, she was just down on her luck and having a really bad day. A lot had gone wrong, and everyone experiences that at one point or another. I believe in karma and putting good juju out in the universe.”
She hesitated and then added quietly and almost reluctantly. “My mom taught me that.”
There was a slight catch in her voice, and it made me ache to reach out and touch her, but I didn’t know if she’d appreciate that, so I kept my hands to myself.
“Are you close to your mom?” I asked.
She looked up at me and I didn’t miss the shine in her eyes, although no tears fell.
“My mom died freshman year. It wasn’t a good year.”
“I’m so sorry,” I said. It felt weak, but I didn’t know what else to say. I’d never lost anyone close to me before.
“I think she’d be really proud of you,” I added, dipping my head so I could make eye contact with her.
She returned it with a soft smile. “I hope so.” She nibbled her lip and then admitted, “Sometimes I worry she’d be disappointed that I haven’t taken more risks. I attempted to go outside my comfort zone freshman year and go to parties, but then…” Her voice faded and she shrugged.
Then her mom died.
“College parties aren’t really that great.
You haven’t been missing much. I partied way too hard freshman year and I’m not proud of that.
It’s easy to go overboard and make choices you wouldn’t otherwise.
I think the freedom kind of got to me and I went a little wild.
” I grabbed the back of my neck. “I don’t even remember most of it, which is a little embarrassing. ”
I don’t know why I just admitted all that. If I was trying to convince her to give me a chance, sharing my mistakes was not the way to do it.
Or maybe it was because when I looked up at her, the stiffness that always seemed to be in her shoulders when I was around dissipated a little, and when she looked at me, it felt like she was seeing me for the first time.
“Foster, I have a confession to make.”
Panic gripped me. Did she know I was BigBear88? “Okay,” I said slowly.
“Um…” She covered her face with her hands. “We made out.”
There was no way I heard her right.
“We what?”
She pulled her hands away from her face and looked completely miserable. “We made out. Freshman year, after we met at a party at the football house.”
I’d partied a lot at The Den—the name given to the football house—especially freshman year when I’d gone a little too wild with my newfound independence.
I stared at her, racking my brain for any memory of kissing Abby. I’d had a few dreams about kissing her since we started tutoring, but was it possible those were rooted in memories that I couldn’t recall unless I was unconscious?
How the fuck could I forget kissing this girl?
“I don’t…I don’t remember that,” I admitted, even as my gut tightened.
As soon as the words left my mouth, I knew they were the wrong thing to say. Abby’s expression shuttered, and she turned away, focusing on packing up her bag.
“Abby, I’m sorry,” I said, floundering for how to fix this. “Like I told you before, freshman year is kind of a blur for me. I was drinking way too much, doing a lot of stupid things I’m not proud of.”
“It’s fine,” she said, but her tone made it clear it was anything but fine. “It was a long time ago. It doesn’t matter.”
“It does matter,” I said, reaching for her hand. She let me take it, but her fingers remained limp in mine. “Please, tell me what happened. I want to understand.”
Was this the reason she had her guard up around me?
She sighed, finally meeting my eyes again.
“It was the first big party of the year. Sam, my roommate, dragged me there. I’d had a crush on you since the first week of classes, and I’d had just enough to drink that I actually had the courage to talk to you.
One thing led to another, and we ended up making out in your room. ”
I closed my eyes, trying to recall that night. There had been so many parties that year, so many faceless girls. The fact that one of them had been Abby—smart, beautiful, kind Abby—and I couldn’t remember it made me feel sick.
“What happened?” I asked, dreading the answer.
Abby gave a humorless laugh. “Nothing, really. We were kissing, and then…you fell asleep.”
“I what?” My eyes flew open in horror.
“You fell asleep,” she repeated. “Mid-kiss. I thought at first you were just taking a breath, but then you started snoring.”
“Fucking hell.” I dropped my head into my hands, mortification washing over me. No wonder she’d been so cold to me when we first started tutoring. No wonder she’d looked at me like I was the last person she wanted to see. “Abby, I am so sorry.”
“It’s not your fault,” she said, though her voice was still tight. “You were drunk. I was drunk. It was a stupid freshman mistake.”
“No, it’s definitely my fault,” I insisted, looking up at her.
“I was an idiot freshman year. I drank too much, partied too hard, and apparently missed out on getting to know an amazing girl because I passed out like an asshole.” I took her hand again, squeezing it gently.
“But I’m not that guy anymore, Abby. And I promise you, if I had been sober enough to remember kissing you, I never would have forgotten it. ”
She looked up at me, the vulnerability in her eyes betraying the courage it took for her to confess all of this to me. It was clear by the hesitant smile she gave me that she wasn’t sure she believed me.
I’d work on that.
This girl was burned onto my soul and she had no idea.
As Peach, she’d become a lifeline, but as Abby, she was someone real.
I would do whatever it took to make this right, to make her see that I was so far from that guy freshman year, it wasn’t even funny.
I would prove I was worthy of her attention.
Abby Walker didn’t know it yet, but I was about to woo the shit out of her.
I wasn’t dumb enough to let a woman like her go again.