Chapter 28
TWENTY-EIGHT
The purple Discord icon was taunting me, but I fought the urge to open it. Instead I closed my laptop and stared unseeingly at the TV in front of me.
For nearly two years, I’d made Foster the villain in my mind for what happened that night freshman year. And then I’d gotten to know him this summer, and my whole view had shifted.
But then he’d dropped the truth bomb on me that he was Bear, and now I was more confused than ever. More than that, I couldn’t let go of the hurt and betrayal I felt knowing that he’d known it was me for weeks before he told me.
I avoided Discord and Stardew Valley like the plague.
I focused on the start of fall semester.
I dove headfirst into volunteering for any extra work Holt & Associates wanted to give me as an intern.
But nothing cleared my head. Nothing helped me make sense of the conflicting emotions swirling inside me. I felt like I should be furious at Foster for the secret he’d kept, especially once he found out the truth.
Except…
The longer I thought about it, the more I realized he was probably right. I would’ve pushed him—and subsequently Bear—away. I’d still kept Foster at arm’s length at that point.
I remembered quite vividly running into him at the coffee shop and the panic that ensued when he walked up to my table. There was no way I would’ve embraced the idea that he was Bear.
I could admit my flaws, but figuring out how to bridge the gap that I’d put between us was a lot harder. The more time that passed, the harder it was to figure out what to say to finally break the ice.
“You seem lost in your thoughts,” Sam said from her spot on the couch beside me where she’d been scrolling on her phone while some new reality show played on our TV.
I picked at my thumbnail. “I think you were right.”
She cupped her hand around her ear and leaned toward me, her brow arched. “I’m sorry, say that again.”
I whacked her with the throw pillow before bringing it back and hugging it to my chest. “I think you were right about that night with Foster. I blew it out of proportion—made it a bigger deal than it was.”
She placed her hand on my knee. “Abby, you went through a lot in a very short amount of time. Frankly, I don’t blame you for feeling how you felt.
It was the first time you really put yourself out there for a guy, and it ended up being a big letdown.
Anyone in your shoes would have been disappointed. ”
I swallowed hard but nodded.
“But also,” she added, giving my knee a squeeze, “can I just say for the record—falling asleep while making out doesn’t make you a bad kisser. It makes him bad at pacing his drinks.”
A reluctant laugh escaped.
Her expression turned thoughtful. “What brought on this change in thought?”
I hugged the pillow tighter and finally confessed the truth about Bear being Foster. By the time I was done, Sam’s jaw was on the floor.
“You’re shitting me?”
“I wish I weren’t.”
“Are you being serious right now? This is amazing news!”
I frowned in confusion. “How do you figure?”
She set her phone aside and twisted her body to face me. “Because now you don’t have to choose between two guys. You get the best of both because they’re one and the same.”
I’d been so focused on the betrayal, I hadn’t even thought of it like that.
“Come on, it’s clear you need to get out of your head. Let’s take a break. I hear they’re having a poetry jam at The Grindhouse. Let’s go check it out.”
Normally, I would’ve said no or made some lame excuse, but she was right. I needed to clear my head, and maybe doing something different for a change would give me the clarity I was searching for.
We were almost to the SUB when Sam grabbed my arm and gave it a small squeeze.
“Don’t look now,” she whispered, eyes wide. “Actually, do look. Hockey boys at three o’clock.”
I turned my head just in time to see him—Foster—walking alongside two other guys in Clark Fork hockey T-shirts.
My stomach flipped.
Nearly three weeks. No texts. No Stardew. No Bear.
But now here he was. Heading right toward me and already looking at me.
He stared at me like I was water in the desert—a mirage that he couldn’t believe was real. His jaw was scruffy in a way it hadn’t been before, and somehow it made him even more stupidly attractive.
As they got closer, I noticed the apprehension in his gaze and my chest ached. I didn’t want him to look at me like that. I wanted him to look at me the way he had on the ice when he’d caught me before I could fall.
The two guys next to him were watching us with twin expressions of interest by the time we crossed paths.
“Hey, Abby.”
“Hey, Foster.”
The guy beside him with sandy-brown hair grinned. “Ah, so you’re the girl that’s got our boy here all broody.”
My already small smile faltered. “What?”
Foster groaned and slapped the guy in the stomach, causing him to bend over with an “oof.” “Ignore Drew. He’s an idiot.”
The one next to Drew nodded solemnly. “Confirmed.”
Foster glanced back at me. “This is Drew and Liam—my roommates and teammates. Guys, this is Abby.”
I waved to both. “This is Sam, my roommate and best friend,” I said, gesturing to her beside me.
She was already giving her flirty smile to Liam. “Were you guys heading into the poetry jam?” she asked them.
“Oh no, just carb loading. Then we gotta study before getting up at the butt crack of dawn for practice again,” Drew said.
Sam tilted her head. “Why is it always so early?”
“Because the rink’s open to the public during normal hours,” Foster explained. “We get whatever slots are left—early mornings, late nights. That’s the life.”
Liam added, “It’s not as intense as NCAA schedules, though. Those guys are in full-on grind mode for a whole two months longer than we are.”
I glanced at Sam and saw her looking between me and Foster. Panic started to hit me. I knew that look—those diabolical best friend eyes that screamed brace yourself, this is for your own good.
And sure enough, the next words out of her mouth confirmed my fears.
“You know, if you guys aren’t busy this weekend, Abby and I were thinking of going to karaoke at a local bar—The Old Pine. They’re having an inaugural karaoke night Saturday at seven, and we thought it would be loads of fun. You should totally join us.”
My stomach dropped. “I’m sure they’re busy—”
Foster was still looking right at me, but this time he was smiling. Those damn butterflies that had been still for the last three weeks took flight in my stomach. “Actually, that sounds fun and we don’t have any games this weekend, so we’re free.”
Sam beamed. “Great! We’ll see you guys there.”
I glared at her. She ignored me.
As we walked away, I whispered, “Are you insane?”
“What? You like him. He likes you. Let’s quit pretending otherwise. And as much as I love you, sometimes you need a little push to go after what you want. This is your chance.”
I bit my lip. She was right. Again.
Maybe it was time to stop looking for reasons to keep Foster Kane out of my heart.
Because the truth was, he was already there, and seeing him for the first time in three weeks only confirmed what I’d already felt.
I missed him, and it was time to take a leap.