27. Sofia
27
SOFIA
E arly the next morning, Jordan picks me up at my parents’ house before classes. Her dark hair is a mess, and it makes me feel a little bit better about my baggy sweater and leggings. I try to look professional at school.
Today is not the day for it. Fuck, I might not even go to class.
Her smile is a warm one, if not a worried one. I’m sure mine in return looks much the same.
“Let’s go back to my apartment. All of my roommates are gone for their early morning classes.”
A change of scenery sounds fantastic. That way, I don’t have it marked in my own place. “How lucky.”
Jordan laughs with real humor. “Yeah. Lucky you asked on a Thursday. They both have weekly morning classes. It’s my sweet spot. Three and half hours of peace. I usually masturbate, but I can make that sacrifice for you.”
That yanks a genuine joyous laugh out of me, and she grabs my hand and gives it a shake.
“I’ve got a frozen quiche thawing in the fridge. We’ll chuck that in the oven so that either way, we’ll have some good old comfort food for breakfast.”
I relax back into the worn bucket seats in her car and let the feeling of movement sway my body. Jordan doesn’t live far. It’s a six-minute drive, and a little panic sets in. We sit for a moment after the car’s turned off before I manage to open my door.
It’s not like I haven’t been thinking about this all night. I haven’t gotten any sleep for thinking about it.
And I remind myself that this is not the worst situation I’ve ever been in. My life is much more stable now than it was nearly five years ago. Whatever happens, I can get through this.
Following Jordan to the second floor, I slip into her chaotic apartment. The corner has an easel with a half-finished painting on it. A sewing machine is set up on the kitchen table with a pile of cut out pieces of fabric.
The bathroom is back between them and the couch. Jordan slaps the box in my hand and guides me toward it. “I’ll hold your hand the whole time. Even while you’re peeing if you need me to.”
My chuckle is soft and small, but I shake my head. “No. I’ve got that under control.”
She nods and gives me a little nudge to go on and get it over with. I close the door and pee on the damn stick.
The moment I flush the toilet, Jordan has the door open and is pulling me out of the bathroom. She hands me a cup of orange juice and pulls me into the one habitable piece of furniture in the living room—the couch.
Our hands are linked, and I’m tugged into her side. A wave of exhaustion hits me, all of my adrenaline from the unknown outcome spent. I’m ready to crash.
I’m really hoping that this is just a false alarm. That I’ve just stretched myself thin and I’m feeling the effects of it.
Jordan’s timer goes off, and she slowly tugs me to my feet. “I’ll do it on the count of three. Alright?”
“Yeah.”
“One. Two. Three.” And she flips it over, revealing that double blue line.
Fuck.
Tears fill my eyes, and Jordan guides me to the closed toilet lid and squats before me, pulling me into her shoulder.
How did I fuck this up a second time? How could I be this naive? Falling into a fantasy of a romance with three men.
It’s not like I’m not on birth control, and I know it’s not one hundred percent protection. God. What am I going to do?
I’m such an idiot.
When my quiet sobs settle, Jordan wipes off my face with a washcloth and kisses my forehead. She’ll make a good mom someday.
It makes me laugh a little hysterically as she pets my hair back from my face.
“How did I let this happen?”
“Well, you have been having a shit ton of sex.”
I laugh harder, the tears blurring as the tears pool. “Yeah. I have.”
“First thing, you need to go to the doctor to confirm. Then, you need to decide what you want most of all. Don’t worry about them. Think about you. What it means for your career, for your family, for your dreams. Then, you can tell them.”
I nod at this wisdom. “My phone. I have an app.”
God, how absurd that sounds, but I can make an appointment without having to call in. Easier to do it that way. It’s in a week.
Shit. Am I going to have to cut this from my footage? How dishonest would that be? How much do I owe my vision for my project when it hampers my mental health?
I can’t even talk about it with my advisor until I figure out what I’m doing.
Jordan is patting my knee, drawing me back from my spiral. She hands me a plate with a slice of quiche. She taps her own plate against the edge of mine and lifts her fork in toast. “I got your back no matter what, baby doll. Don’t you worry.”
We both devour the hot, gooey eggs and flaky crust. Afterward, I feel halfway human again.
“Okay. I know we can stay here and wallow in the silent peace that is my Thursday mornings, or… we can go get some hot chocolate. One of the fancy ones from off campus.”
I am so lucky to have a friend like her. She pulls me up, and we drive into Bricktown and hit up the posh chocolatier’s I’ve never been in. A place I’ve been keeping my son from because I can only imagine the chocolate coma he would have after a single visit.
My poor baby boy. I’m just going to make his life tougher.
I think about him with my dad right now. How much more will I be imposing on him because of all this?
The scandal when it comes out.
I’m going to ruin my parents’ careers with this, too, aren’t I?
We get cocoas and a shared chocolate fondue plate. Sweet and salty options come with it, and as soon as I get a bit of it in me, my tension starts to settle. It’s not dissolving like the sugar crystals on my tongue, but they’re doing their job.
“Now, I know this isn’t a major distraction, but I have to say, I’m curious about Noah’s dad. What happened there?”
I laugh. “Nothing too dramatic. He was a foreign exchange student. Older than me, of course…”
“Of course,” she prods.
“I met him on the first day of the semester. He was suave and smooth, unruffled by my lack of a filter. Few men are, you know.” I dip a strawberry in the chocolate and nibble on it.
“Oh, I know it.” Jordan wiggles, full of life and vigor. No wonder we get along so well.
“My mom warned me many, many times about men like him.”
“Especially since you spent so much time over with the swoon-worthy Casanovas.” Her brows waggle.
“Yes. She didn’t imagine that if I could fend off the Italians, the French, and the Spaniards, I could hold my own on American soil. But she didn’t prepare me for the Brazilian man I spent an entire semester with. How long he had to chip away at my armor. And he did just that. Took the guy months before I’d let him sit beside me, let alone kiss me.”
I make a pattern in the chocolate with a skewer. He’d been relentless. Not quite in the same way as Orion. Too much young vigor behind it, much more pressure.
“And once he kissed me, it was over. I fell off the deep end hard. It took a week from our first kiss before I let him in my bed. The romance was quiet. Or at least most of it was. My parents had no idea, but with my being an adult, they let me have that space.”
“Very understanding parents.”
I laugh. “Yeah. Good grandparents, too.”
And I’m about to put them through everything all over again.
Jordan leans over and squeezes my hand in support, knowing where my head is going.
“Anyway, the night we conceived was my birthday. He booked us a hotel room, bought champagne and flowers. Made a whole big night of it. And he showed me every move in his repertoire.”
My friend’s eyes light up. “Like what?”
“Well… there’s this thing he does with his tongue that made my toes curl. I’ve never felt anything else quite like it.” Although Cedric gets close. He’s more than talented with his mouth. Different techniques but advanced skills.
“He was older, you know. Had the experience to back it all up. My parents weren’t too happy when they found out, but they were understanding. I didn’t know I was pregnant until after he went home. I always knew he’d go home, but it wasn’t real until he was gone.”
My heart didn’t break when Marco left, only when I found out about Noah. He wouldn’t be able to grow up with his dad.
Jordan leans in. “I want more details about that night. I don't think I’ve ever had a night like what I’m picturing.”
“I have more for later. Don’t worry. What I’ve got to say isn’t appropriate for the public.”
She laughs nice and loud, getting a few looks.
And I spot Leann at a table behind us. Great. I wonder how much she heard.
By the look on her face, she’s heard more than I want her to. I think back over what I said and realize I never used his name. Shit. Even if I do now, she’ll think I’m covering.
It’s not hard to know she’s put Orion in Marco’s place.
Fuck .