Chapter 16
SIXTEEN
You can’t always trust that people are who they say they are. Wait and let them show you their true colors.
Monday morning, I ride to campus with Adam. He’s got classes an hour earlier than I do, but the extra fifteen minutes riding over and holding his hand as we walk toward his building make it totally worth it.
“Thanks for walking with me,” he says, swinging our joined hands.
“Any time.”
“What are you going to do for the next hour?”
“I’m not sure. Maybe go to the library and study.”
He stares at me with narrowed eyes. “Really?”
“Okay, fine. I’m going straight to University Hall for coffee, and then I’ll probably watch videos and look at TikTok until class time.”
I love his deep laughter and love it even more when I’m the one to bring it out of him.
“Hang later tonight?” he asks.
“Yeah.” I nod, and he pulls me into him and wraps his arms around me. “I’ll text you after your rehearsal.”
He keeps holding on to me, leaning side to side. “This was a good plan up until I realized I have to leave you for class.”
I squeeze his middle to show him I don’t want to go either.
“Okay. On three,” he says. “One, two—”
Before he says three, I push at his chest. “Get out of here, Dr. Scott.”
He scoops me up and heads toward the building. “Maybe I’ll just take you with me.”
“Oh no. Put me down. I need coffee.”
Inside, he finally sets me on the ground, but he doesn’t make any more progress on getting to class. His mouth slants over mine. I could kiss him like this for hours, but one of us needs to make sure he makes it to class. I really didn’t expect that person to be me.
“You need to go learn things, and I need caffeine. Later, stud.”
I’m grinning like a fool as he reluctantly heads off to class. I watch him until he starts into the room. He waves and winks, then disappears.
I’m lost in my own little Adam bubble when I hear someone call my name.
She says it twice before my brain snaps out of it. I peel my gaze from the doorway Adam went through to Janine walking in my direction.
Her gait slows the closer she gets.
“Hey, Janine.”
“Haven’t seen you in years and now twice in a month.”
I ignore the subtle jab. “I was just walking with Adam to class.”
She adjusts her backpack on her shoulder. “Do you have class now?”
“No.”
“So you’re free?”
Well, crap. I walked right into that.
“Oh. I’m actually on my way to University Hall.”
“I’ll walk with you.”
“O-kay.”
We’re quiet as we exit the building and start down the sidewalk.
A memory of the two of us walking around campus our junior year of high school flashes through my mind.
Janine looks just the same. She’s someone who knew early on exactly who she was.
It takes a lot of confidence to be who you are, unwavering and steadfast. I always admired that about her.
It’s probably why I was drawn to her as a kid.
I had no idea who I was or what I wanted to be.
Some days I’m still not sure I have it figured out.
She heads straight for the café when we enter University Hall. “I assume you still live on coffee?”
It’s unnerving being around Janine again. Someone who knows me so well. Every part.
We place our orders at the coffee counter. Awkward silence hangs between us. When the barista rings us up, I hand my card over quickly.
“I’ve got it,” I say. I owe her too much as it is.
“Thanks.”
With our drinks, we meander to a small table in the center of the hall.
“You look good. Happy,” she says after we’re seated. “I can’t believe you’re with Adam. Makes sense though. He’s totally your type.”
“I am happy.” I fidget with the lid of my coffee. “How are you?”
“I’m good.”
“And Sean?”
“Really good. He switched his major, just as you predicted.”
“Yeah?” I ask. “What did he settle on?”
“Law school.”
“I knew it!” I smile big, forgetting myself.
She laughs softly. “Yeah, you did. The day he told me, I thought of you.”
I nod and take a sip of my coffee. Her somber tone smacks me back to reality. We are not two friends catching up. Not anymore.
“I’ve thought about you often,” she continues. Honest, open Janine. My heart thumps too fast in my chest.
“Me too,” I admit, then plaster a smile on my face. “But it sounds like things have been great for you. Graduating early, med school, this big scholarship. I’m really happy for you.”
I’m working on an excuse to get me out of here when she goes for the kill.
“I saw Lori last weekend when I went to my parents’ for Sunday dinner.”
“Oh, yeah?” I look anywhere but at her.
“She’s doing really great, Reagan. The old house is cleaned up, and she’s working at the elementary school as an aide.”
“They let her work with children?! Someone should be fired for that hire.”
Janine doesn’t react like someone else might to my outburst. She smiles sadly. “My mom got her the job, but she’s working hard.”
“Whatever. Good for her. Is that what you want me to say?”
“I just thought you should know. She’s still your mom, Rea.”
“Yeah, well, she didn’t act much like one for the first eighteen years of my life, so I’m sorry if I’m not eager to hear how great she’s doing now.
Those kids at the school probably see more of her in a week than I did for months at a time when I was their age.
” The more I talk, the angrier I get. She’s doing great now, really?
Now that I’m capable of taking care of myself. Now that I don’t need her.
“I’m sorry. I can’t imagine how you feel.”
“You’re right. You can’t.” Janine with her perfect family. A mom who dotes on her and a dad who would go to the ends of the earth for her.
“She asked how to get in touch with you. Said the number she has for you doesn’t work, and she wasn’t sure your email was still the same.”
“Are you kidding me?” I roll my eyes.
Janine’s lips flatten.
“If I wanted to talk to her, I would have responded to one of the many emails she’s sent over the years.”
“So you are getting them?”
“What is this, an interrogation?”
“No, of course not.” Janine rests her palms on the table. “This isn’t going like I imagined. You have every right to your feelings, but if there was even a chance you wanted to know how she was, I thought I should tell you.”
“Well, you’ve told me.” I push back in my chair. “See you around.”
I rush out of University Hall, holding back angry tears. Outside, I hang a right, then slump against the brick building and take deep pulls of the cold air.
Janine finds me. I should have expected her to follow me.
She left me alone for three years, and that’s longer than I expected.
She has a good heart, wants everyone to be happy.
She still believes that everyone can have what she does, even after watching me grow up with a mom who didn’t give a shit.
“Go away, Janine. There’s nothing you can say to fix this.”
She shakes her head slowly. “There’s something else.” She pauses and wets her lips, tugs her hat down over her ears. “I told her that you were engaged.”
“What?!” A shiver of dread runs up my spine.
“I wanted her to know how well you’re doing.”
“She doesn’t deserve to know anything about me. You had no right.”
“I know. I’m sorry.”
“Does Adam know about any of this?”
“No.” Her brows pull together in confusion. “Why?”
“It’s none of his business or yours.”
“I’m so sorry, Reagan. I know that it’s not the same, but I was mad at her all these years too. I saw what she did to you, and I guess I wanted her to know that despite all of that, you had still found a way to make a great life. You didn’t need her.”
I may not have needed her, but how much easier might my life have been? I may not have needed her, but I wanted her. Janine’s family always made me feel welcome, but they weren’t mine.
“What can I do?” Janine asks. She reaches out and squeezes my arm.
“You can tell Lori to stay out of my life.” I swallow hard and step away from her. “And you can do the same.”
She doesn’t follow me this time. I skip my next class and wait for Adam in the same spot I left him. When he sees me, he grins, and those long legs erase the space between us.
“Have you been waiting here the whole time?” He takes me in his arms, and my heart rate finally starts to even out.
I breathe him in and relax against his chest. “No, I grabbed coffee first. I was thinking maybe we could play hooky.”
“I’m free until one. I can’t miss my lab. What’d you have in mind?”
“I’ve never been to this place,” Adam says as we walk into the arcade.
“A blind date brought me here once,” I admit.
He cocks a brow. “A date?”
“Yeah. The location was the best part of the date. I always wanted to come back with someone I actually liked.”
I feed dollar bills into the machine. As the coins clatter into the dispenser, Adam kisses me. The place is quiet. I’m surprised they were even open this early, but a few groups of young kids and families are already milling about.
“Gotta keep it G-rated in here. There are small, innocent eyes.”
He laughs against my mouth. “What about PG?”
I smack him playfully on the chest.
“What? Their parents are here.”
I grab our coins and duck under his arm. “Come on, stud.”
Adam and I hit Skee-Ball first, then table hockey.
He takes it easy on me, but still wins. I edge out victorious at a basketball shooting game and Dance Dance Revolution.
It’s been great, but I still can’t completely shake the awful interaction with Janine.
I’m frustrated with her, but I hate that I was so mean to her.
We were friends for a long time. Good friends.
“Let’s go in the photo booth,” he suggests as we’re making a second round looking for games to spend our last coins on.
“It’s a total scam. Five dollars for a strip of tiny, blurry photos.”
He inserts money in the slot and pulls me inside. The bench is cold and barely big enough for the two of us. We watch the screen for the countdown.
“Are we going serious or funny?” I ask.
“Serious on the first one. Funny on the second.”
“What about the others?” I ask as the countdown ends.
We press our faces together and smile. After the flash, I stick my tongue out at the camera, and Adam gives me bunny ears. On the next one, he kisses me.
And then I lose track of the flashes. His tongue invades my mouth, and I cling to him desperately, filling the ache, erasing the worry. I don’t need Lori or Janine. I have Dakota, Ginny, Adam, and our friends. They’re enough.