Chapter 29
TWENTY-NINE
We barely made it through the barn door before Liam was kissing me again, and the tenderness of it stopped my brain completely.
This wasn’t the hungry, urgent way he usually kissed me.
Instead, his hands cradled my face like I was precious and fragile and his, and his mouth moved over mine so slowly it felt like a question he’d been too afraid to ask.
For the first time, this had nothing to do with the list.
Finally.
I moaned as he deepened the kiss, sliding his tongue into my mouth. He groaned low in his throat before pulling away, dropping his forehead to mine, our breaths mingling between us.
“Ava.” My name sounded like a prayer.
I closed the distance between us, rising on my toes to kiss him again.
His arms wrapped around me immediately, pulling me flush against him, and I could feel how much he wanted me—the hard length of him pressing against my stomach and his heart racing beneath my palms where they rested on his chest.
But it was the way he was holding me that had my heart practically leaping into my throat.
He was holding me like he never wanted to let go.
His hands found the hem of my crop top, fingers sliding against bare skin, and I shivered even though the night was warm. He pulled back just long enough to tug the fabric over my head, and then his mouth was on my neck, my collarbone, the swell of my breasts above my bra.
“You’re so fucking beautiful,” he murmured against my skin. “Every time I look at you, I forget how to breathe.”
I wanted to make a joke—something sarcastic to cut the tension building in my chest—but I couldn’t. Not when he was looking at me like that. Not when every touch felt like a confession.
My fingers fumbled with the hem of his shirt until he took pity on me and pulled it over his head himself.
I’d seen him shirtless countless times, but this time felt different because this time he was really mine.
This wasn’t just an arrangement. It was real, and my gaze roamed over the landscape I’d memorized as if I was seeing it with fresh eyes.
The broad shoulders, the tattoos, the defined chest, the trail of dark hair that disappeared beneath his waistband.
He was beautiful, and he was here, and he wanted me.
I’d told myself not to hope where Liam was concerned. But the hope was already there, blooming in my chest and completely out of my control.
Liam’s hands worked the clasp of my bra, and then his mouth was on my nipple, hot and wet, and I gasped as pleasure shot straight to my core. His tongue circled the sensitive peak while his fingers teased the other one, and I arched into him, my hands fisting in his hair.
“Liam—”
“I’ve got you, Sunshine.” He walked me backward until my shoulders hit the rough wooden beam behind me. “I’ve always got you.”
He kissed me again as his hands made quick work of my shorts, pushing them down along with my underwear until I stood bare before him. His gaze raked over me, hungry and reverent all at once, and I’d never felt so desirable as a woman. Or so wanted.
Like when he called me Sunshine, he meant I was actually his sun. That’s what his gaze did to me—it made me feel like the sun to his earth.
His fingers found me already slick with need, and the low groan of satisfaction he made sent a fresh wave of heat through me.
“Always so ready for me,” he murmured, two fingers sliding inside while his thumb found my clit. “Always so perfect.”
I clung to his shoulders as he worked me the way only he could. Liam had learned my body in a way no one else had, and every stroke, circle, and press of his fingers hit exactly where I needed.
“Liam, I need—”
“I know what you need,” he growled before kissing me hard.
Then he stepped back just long enough to shed the rest of his clothes and roll on a condom. When he came back to me, he lifted me easily, my legs wrapping around his waist as he braced me against the beam. The head of his cock pressed against my entrance, and he paused, his eyes finding mine.
“Ava.” His voice was ragged. “This isn’t about the list.”
“I know.”
“This is about you and me. Just us.”
My heart stuttered. “Liam—”
He pushed inside me in one slow, devastating stroke, and we both stopped breathing. He filled me completely, perfectly, and for a moment neither of us moved. His forehead dropped to mine, his breath shaking against my lips.
“Fuck,” he whispered. “You feel like everything I never let myself want.” His gaze locked with mine. “I want you so much it scares me, but not enough to stop.”
“Don’t stop. Please.” I held on to him tighter, and it felt like my heart was in my throat. I knew what Liam thought about himself, but I was in too deep. If he stopped himself now from really being in this with me, I’d be devastated.
He held me tight as he repositioned us, laying me down on our pile of clothes, and then started to move, slow and deep, and I clung to him as sensation built in waves.
This wasn’t the frantic pace we’d set in the library archives.
This wasn’t the controlled dominance of our bondage night.
This wasn’t like any sex I’d ever had, and based on the look of awe on Liam’s face, I didn’t think it was anything he’d had either.
It felt an awful lot like how I’d always imagined making love would be.
Each thrust hit that spot inside me that made stars burst behind my eyes. His hands gripped my thighs, holding me open for him, and I felt completely undone by the way he was looking at me.
Like I was his.
Like he was mine.
“I can’t stop wanting you,” he said between kisses. “Every second of every day. Even when I tried to stay away, you were all I could think about.”
I pulled him closer, needing him deeper, needing to be consumed by this feeling before my rational mind could catch up and remind me of all the reasons this was dangerous—for my heart more than anything else.
“Don’t stay away,” I breathed. “Don’t—”
He silenced me with his mouth, swallowing my words as his hips picked up speed. The pleasure was building now, coiling tight in my belly, and I knew I was close. He knew it too—he always knew—and his hand slipped between us to circle my clit in time with his thrusts.
“I’ve got you, Aves. I’m not going anywhere. Let go for me, Sunshine. Let me feel you.”
With two more thrusts, I shattered with his name on my lips, my body clenching around him as wave after wave of pleasure crashed through me. He followed seconds later, burying himself deep and groaning against my neck as he came.
We stayed like that for a long time, tangled together, our hearts racing in sync. He rolled us over, so my body was slack on top of his.
“I meant what I said,” he said quietly, pulling me tighter against his chest. “By the river. I’m done pretending.”
I wanted to believe him. God, I wanted it so badly. But I knew Liam. I knew his hang-ups about commitment, and hope could be a very dangerous thing.
“Liam…”
“I know.” He pressed a kiss to my hair. “I know I’m not exactly a safe bet. But I’m tired of hiding. I don’t want to sneak around anymore. I don’t want to pretend I’m not crazy about you every time we’re around other people. I want to hold your hand in public and take you on real dates.”
My heart was pounding so hard I could hear it. “What are you saying?”
“I’m saying I want this to be real.” He tilted my chin up, making me meet his eyes. “I want to tell Drew. I want to stop lying to everyone. I want—” He swallowed hard. “I want to be with you. For real.”
I searched his face for any sign of hesitation, any indication that he’d wake up tomorrow and change his mind. But all I saw was the same fear I felt—the fear of wanting something this much, of risking everything for something that might not last.
“You know what telling Drew means,” I said carefully. “He might not forgive you. This could ruin your friendship.”
“I know.”
“And you’re still sure?”
He kissed me softly. “I’ve never been more sure of anything.”
I took a breath, feeling the hope I’d been fighting swell until it was impossible to contain. I’d spent so long protecting myself, managing my expectations, never letting myself want too much. But here was Liam Farrell, offering me everything I’d ever wanted.
“Okay,” I said finally. “We’ll tell Drew. And then no more hiding.”
His smile lit up the darkness of the barn, and when he kissed me again, it tasted like a promise.