18. Gavin
GAVIN
I’m able to keep my shit together during dinner. Stuffing my mouth with food definitely helps.
After our plates are cleared, Violet excuses herself from the table and takes off toward the door. She’s probably just going to the restroom, but I panic that maybe she’s leaving. Without her at my side, I feel a lot less capable of doing the right thing.
And I miss spending time with her. Even though I know she’s here purely to repay me for taking care of her, I can’t help but wonder if there’s a chance she could forgive me and get past the really shitty thing I did to her—sleeping with her roommate.
Seeing my dad, the reminder of how I did to Violet the same thing he did to my mom, makes acid rise in my throat. Maybe alcohol will help.
Noah catches me on my way to the bar.
“All good?” he asks.
I’m not even close to all good, but saying so won’t help anyone. “I’m sorry for making dinner awkward.”
“Don’t sweat it.” He shrugs his shoulders and falls into step beside me.
“Tommy hasn’t said a word in almost an hour.”
“Yeah, well, how would you feel if you discovered your idol is a shit person?”
I’d feel like my whole life was a lie.
“He isn’t a shit person.” The words tumble out easily, but I’m not sure they’re true.
A lot of my teammates idolize my dad. His old Valley U jersey hangs in our fucking gym, so I get it. My instinct is always to defend him against other people. It’s a weird spot to be in, wishing people knew what your dad was really like but, at the same time, wanting to protect him.
And the thing is, I don’t really think he’s all that awful, unless you’re counting on him to show up and be part of your family.
He’s really good at popping in, putting on a smile, and making people feel at ease.
I’ve seen him do it so many times through the years.
Fans come up to him, shaking with excitement, sometimes crying, and he asks them a few questions about themselves, taking the focus off him, and makes sure they feel like they had a genuine connection.
Is it bullshit? I don’t know. I don’t even think he knows.
But that sort of drive-by attention wasn’t enough as a kid and it isn’t enough now. I’d almost rather him completely leave me alone than drop in after months of no contact and pretend like everything is cool.
And yeah, I get it. He has made an attempt lately, but it’s too little, way too fucking late.
“I’ll talk to Tommy.”
“And say what? That you’re holding on to some old-fashioned teenage resentment toward your father?”
Seems legit enough. “Something like that.”
“Do me a favor. No, do Tommy a favor. If you’re going to talk to him, tell him the truth. Tommy deserves that. And more than that, he wants it. You’re his friend, his teammate. His loyalty is to you.”
Noah leaves me to think over his words. I get a drink and linger around the perimeter of the room. I see her the second she steps back inside. Violet scans the room. My chest tightens when her gaze finally lands on me, and the corners of her mouth pull up into a nervous smile.
She crosses the room with long, confident steps. Violet is a freaking ten any day of the week, but tonight, in that blue dress with her hair wavy and those shoes… damn those shoes, she steals the air from my lungs.
“Everything okay?”
“Yeah.” A small smile lifts the corners of her mouth. “Dahlia called while I was out there. She wanted to make sure we hadn’t killed each other.”
A laugh slips from my lips. “Hadn’t even crossed my mind.”
“Mine neither, surprisingly.”
I lean in. “The night is young.”
It’s hard to pull back out of her space. Being in her bubble feels a hell of a lot better than being anywhere else. Her tongue darts out to wet her lips as our gaze stays locked on the other. She looks away first and eyes the drink in my hand.
“Want something?” I ask, moving back and angling my body to the bartender.
“Ummm.”
She’s still thinking when my dad’s voice interrupts. “Gavin, son, can I have a minute?”
Violet looks between us. I love the reluctance on her face, like maybe she doesn’t want to leave me. Ultimately, she does, though. Putting a step between us, she says, “I’ll be at the table.”
“She’s pretty,” he says after Violet’s gone. “How long have you two been together?”
“Does it matter?”
“Just trying to catch up on everything going on in your life. I know it’s been too long. I’ve been trying to call.”
Silence hangs between us.
“The team has never looked better. Valley U is a lot of people’s favorite to go all the way this year.”
I still say nothing.
“Have you given any more thought to your future?”
At his question, my temper flares. “You know my plans. They haven’t changed.”
He pulls a business card from his pocket. “I hate to see you wasting your talent behind a desk. At least consider your options. You’re a great player. Way better than I was at your age. You could have a long, successful career in the NBA. Don’t throw away your future because you’re pissed at me.”
He pushes the card at me until I take it and shove it in my pocket without looking at it.
“This has nothing to do with you.”
“Got it.” His mouth pulls into a straight line. “How’s school and everything else?”
My frustration has reached its max level. I don’t want to do this. “Everything is great, Dad. Is that what you came here to hear? I’m great. Now you can go back to your luxe life and your many girlfriends. Mom and I are doing just fine without you.”
I walk off before he can respond, adrenaline pumping through me. Violet looks up as I approach. Taking her hand, I tip my head toward the exit. “Want to get out of here?”
“Sure.” She hesitates, but then grabs her purse and stands.
I don’t let go of her hand, even when we reach the hallway. Her fingers curl around mine just slightly. It’s something.
“Up for a little mischief?” I ask her as we weave down the hall toward the locker rooms.
“As long as it doesn’t land me in jail or the dean’s office, then okay.”
“Probably not.” I open the door.
“Probably not?”
I tip my head and she finally goes in ahead of me.
“Wow,” she says as the lights flicker on. Violet walks slowly into the space, letting her gaze roam over every detail of the locker room. “This is nice.”
“This way.” I move toward the lounge area. Couches and chairs are set up in front of a TV with every gaming system imaginable.
I plop down on the closest couch and pick up a controller.
“This is your idea of mischief?” She sits tentatively beside me. “I thought we were going to fill lockers with shaving cream or hide all the practice jerseys.”
I hand her a controller. “Girls aren’t allowed in here.”
She laughs as I power on the Nintendo Switch and navigate to Donkey Kong original.
“Know this one?”
“I’m sure I can figure it out.” A determined glint flashes in her eyes.
For the first five minutes, neither of us speaks. We play the old-school game together, taking turns. The longer we play, the less I feel like breaking something and the less hesitant Violet seems. She shifts closer and relaxes into the couch. I undo my tie.
We make it to stage two before Violet says, “I guess I wasn’t such a great buffer tonight.”
“There is no buffer strong enough when he’s in the same room.”
“Still. That is why I’m here.”
I glance over at her and smirk. “And here I thought it was because you wanted to spend time with me.”
She laughs softly and then holds my gaze. “Why is your dad here tonight?”
“The athletic director invited him.” I lift one shoulder and let it fall.
“And he wanted to see you.”
I don’t say anything, so she pauses the game. “He did. You know that’s why he’s really here, right? As screwed-up as things might be between you two, he came here because of you.”
“Maybe that’s true, but he could have seen me any time, and he chose to do it in front of all my coaches and teammates. Tonight wasn’t about me. It was about him looking like a good father to the people whose opinion he cares about.”
She looks at me with pity and sadness, neither of which I want from her. Standing, I move to the small kitchen area and jump up on the counter.
“What are you doing?” She follows me, laughing.
I toss two bags of Takis to her, then hop down and open the fridge. “We have Gatorade, water, or soda.”
“Snacks, video games, and naked men. This place is almost perfect.” She reaches in and grabs a Diet Dr. Pepper.
I snag a Gatorade, and we go back to the couch. “There are no naked men in here. Wait, was that another attempt to get me to strip down?”
“Another attempt?” She smiles as she opens her bag of chips.
“Earlier. You asked if I wanted to get naked.”
“I wanted to see if you were paying attention.” She flicks a hand in the air. “This is a locker room. I’m assuming people get naked in here sometimes, yeah?”
“Yep.” I pop the p. “People like me.”
“Hence almost perfect.”
“Hence?” I’m smiling and feeling better than I have all day. “You’re a trip.”
She tosses a chip in her mouth and chews. “I know your relationship with your dad is tough, but how are things with your mom?”
I pull one knee up onto the couch and tilt my body toward Violet. “Mom is great. Her team made it into the national tournament for the first time in the school’s history.”
“That’s amazing! Are the men’s and women’s tournaments played at the same place? Will you be able to see her while you’re there?”
I shake my head. “Nah. If I’m lucky, I’ll be able to catch a few games on TV. Same for her.”
“And your dad? Will he be there?”
I shrug off the question. I imagine he will be, at least for the championship game, whether I’m in it or not.
“He’s a lot. I wasn’t expecting to be so intimidated by him.”
“Don’t be. He’s just a regular, flawed dude, trust me.”
“You two look a lot alike.”
“You mean my dad is hot?” My lips pull into a wide smile.
“I did not say that.”
We smile at each other. It feels so good being here with her. Having her smile at me again. “I missed this.”