31. Dahlia
DAHLIA
“Do not respond.” Jane covers the screen with her hand. “Forget about Felix for a night and let’s meet some new, cute guys.”
“Yes!” Daisy exclaims. She’s already tipsy. Her face is flushed, and her eyes are lit with excitement. “We are celebrating. Tonight is all about you! Let me introduce you to some of Jordan’s teammates.”
I tuck my phone away and nod. His text has been taunting me for two hours.
I won the Valley tournament today. My first collegiate win!
My dad was there. Jane, too. I had a shaky start on the front nine, but then something came together.
I was present and focused and that mixed with a whole lot of determination and luck, maybe a few bites of red licorice, had me shooting my lowest score ever and coming out on top.
I think the real reason my friends insisted on celebrating tonight, though, was to keep me from sitting around and thinking about my now ex-boyfriend. I feel like I’ve been walking around in a haze the past few days. Sad isn’t the right word, though I am. More than that, I just feel a little lost.
Who knew breaking up with your fake boyfriend could hurt so much? I did, or I thought I did. But it hurts even worse than I expected.
“Shots!” Vi carries the little cups of liquor over to us. We’re at an off-campus apartment where some of the hockey players live.
“Oh, I don’t know. I think I’m sticking with seltzer.
” I drank too much on Wednesday night and woke up Thursday morning with the worst hangover of my life.
I’m not loving the idea of feeling that way tomorrow, especially with my dad still in town.
We’re supposed to have breakfast in the morning before he flies back home.
“I’ll take hers,” Jane says.
While they toss back the shots, I glance around the party. Lots of people are already crammed into the living room where we’re standing. Some are playing video games and others look like they just wanted a spot to sit down and make out.
I follow my friends outside on the balcony. It’s less crowded out here. Jordan and his roommate Liam are talking with a few other guys I don’t know. Daisy cuddles up to Jordan’s side, and he wraps an arm around her waist without breaking conversation.
“Hey.” One of the guys juts his chin at me. The movement reminds me of Felix. But it’s the only thing about him that’s similar. He has blond hair and the greenest eyes I’ve ever seen. “You’re?—”
I wince before he finishes the sentence, knowing what he’s about to say and wishing I could rewind back to a few minutes ago and take that shot.
I forgot what it was like to be known as the girl from the video.
Felix shielded me from that. Maybe even more than I realized.
But the words that come out next aren’t what I was expecting.
“Dahlia, right?”
I stare back at him, a little stunned. He cocks his head to the side, and I finally nod. “Yeah. Yeah, I’m Dahlia.”
He smiles, revealing a dimple above the corner of his mouth. “I think we had a class together last year. Psychology with Professor Handler?”
“Yeah.” Now that he mentions it, I do remember him from that class. His hair was shorter, or maybe he always wore a hat? He sat in the back row. We never spoke. “I’m sorry. I don’t remember your name.”
“Steven.” He sidesteps so we’re closer. He’s not as tall as Felix, but I still have to tip my head up to look at him. “You’re one of Daisy’s roommates?”
“Yeah. There’s four of us. Do you know Jane and Violet?”
At their names, my friends join the conversation. I introduce them and Steven is polite, but quickly turns his attention back solely to me.
“Do you need another drink?” he asks when I finish my seltzer.
“Oh, uh…I haven’t decided if I’m having another.”
“We have water and some other non-alcoholic stuff inside.” He jabs his thumb over his shoulder.
Jane nudges me forward. “She’d love one.”
I almost fall into him. I turn a wide-eyed glare at her, before smiling at Steven. “Yeah, I could use another drink.”
I follow him inside. He goes to the fridge and calls out my options. I decide on one more seltzer. After this, I’m switching to water. He hands me a can and grabs himself another beer. Leaning against the counter, he smiles at me.
“So, you live here?” I ask.
“Yeah. Want the tour?”
It doesn’t look like that big of an apartment, but he’s cute and seems nice, so I say yes.
There are three bedrooms. He points out his roommates’ bedrooms, but we only go into his.
It’s about the same size as mine. It’s clean.
Black comforter and matching pillowcases.
A few jerseys hang on the wall and an old hockey stick.
Framed photos sit on the desk under the window.
It makes me think of Felix’s room, all bare walls except for the poster his friends hung up.
When I’m done taking it all in, I look at Steven.
He’s standing just behind me staring at me like maybe he wants to kiss me.
At least that’s the look Felix would get.
I wanted experiences, but now they’re all wrapped up in him.
I’m adept on all things Felix, but still clueless when it comes to other guys.
“I like your room.” My voice is tight and my heart races.
“Thanks.” His fingers brush mine and I startle. I have got to get my shit together. This is exactly the kind of guy I used to dream about paying attention to me.
“I should probably get back to my friends,” I say. “We’re having a girls’ night. I don’t want to bail on them.”
“Yeah, of course. Come on.”
Back outside, I find Jane and Vi playing beer pong at a little table set up on the far side of the patio.
Daisy is sitting with Jordan, so I go to her.
Steven goes to hang with another group, giving me some space.
I think I might have blown him off. I wasn’t exactly trying to, but I don’t know if I’m ready to make out with someone new.
I don’t have a lot of experience in the making-out department, but I don’t think two guys in one week is how I roll.
An hour later, some people decide to go to the Prickly Pear.
It’s a dive bar. We rarely go since none of us are twenty-one yet, but my friends are drunk enough that they don’t care, and I just want to have fun with them.
A night of fun with my friends so I don’t think about how weird it is being out without Felix.
We go straight to the little dance floor in the back, while the guys go to the bar to get drinks.
“He’s so cute,” Violet says, looking over my shoulder.
I steal a glance behind me to find Steven with the guys at the bar, sipping a beer and meeting my gaze for just a second.
My pulse speeds up and I whip my head back around.
“He’s really nice, too,” Daisy adds.
“Dating history?” Jane prompts.
Daisy thinks for a second. “He was hooking up with a girl on the volleyball team for a while last year, but that’s it as far as I know.”
“Hooking up or dating?” Jane scoffs. “No more guys with commitment issues.”
“I could ask Jordan,” Daisy offers.
“No,” I say at the same time Jane nods aggressively.
“No,” I repeat, and grab hold of Daisy’s arm before she can go dig up dirt on Steven. “I’m not even sure what I’m looking for, so it doesn’t matter if he wants to hook up with me or date me or whatever.”
“That’s the spirit.” Vi bumps her hip against mine. “Have fun, get to know him, then decide what’s what.”
The guys push a bunch of tables together. More people than I thought came with us. Lots of Jordan’s teammates. Gavin’s, too. And where the hockey and basketball guys go, the girls flock.
After a few songs, Daisy and Vi take a break and leave me and Jane on the dance floor.
Jane takes my hands, and we keep moving to the beat. We’re soon joined by a flock of others looking to shout the lyrics of the song and shake their hips. I step back and collide with a hard chest. When I turn, Steven reaches out and steadies me.
“Hey,” I say, but I doubt he can hear me over the music.
I turn back to Jane, and she gives me a look, silently asking if I want her to intervene.
I love that about her. She always has my back.
I give my head the smallest shake to let her know I’m okay, then turn back around to dance with Steven.
Out of my peripheral I see her move to Liam and force him to dance with her.
He gives in, though he looks a little shy about it.
Jane is very convincing when she wants to be.
Steven’s a good dancer, and as more and more people walk out to the little dance floor, we’re pushed closer together. Eventually his hands find my waist, and I rest mine on his forearms. And I don’t hate the way it feels.
Maybe I can do this. I can move on, kiss lots of boys, and forget about how much I miss my fake ex-boyfriend.