Chapter 11
DRAKE
Saturday, four days before the festival
Fuck, was cuddling part of this... whatever the fuck we were doing? My dick liked it at least. I rolled into Finn’s body and threw my leg over his hips. I chuckled at his erection. “I guess you’re awake.”
He didn’t respond, just turned and kissed me, rubbing his straining cock against mine.
I broke away from his lips to spit into my palm, then I gripped us together as Finn attacked my mouth.
He pushed against me until I was on my back, and he braced himself over my body, driving into my fist and sliding exquisitely along my dick. We both came within minutes.
He kissed me once more before rolling off me, onto his back. We lay there panting and trying to cool down. Eventually he got up to get something to clean us off with, and he pulled the sheet up over us again. I was still too warm to cuddle, but it was nice to be next to someone.
“I haven’t slept—like sleep slept—with very many guys.”
He turned his head on the pillow. “No? Not many long-term partners?”
I shook my head. “None. Only hookups. We traveled so much.” I shrugged. “And no one really caught my attention, you know?”
“Yeah.”
Our hands brushed under the sheet, and he put his palm against mine and laced our fingers together. I swallowed against the rush of emotion it caused. Just post-sex hormones, I told myself, blinking my prickling eyes.
Finn cleared his throat. “I talked to Charles about my lack of dates since he’s been here. And about you and me dating .” He lifted his free hand to make air quotes.
“Yeah? What’d you tell him?”
He grimaced. “I told him I hadn’t been going on any dates since he’d come to live with me because I wanted him to feel secure, that this was his home and he came first. I told him I’d planned to give it six months or so and then talk to him before I went out with anyone.”
I snorted. “That you told him about, you mean.”
“Well, yeah. Anyway, he said....” He coughed, and I could see his grin in the dark of the room.
“He said essentially it was a miracle a sexy, famous younger guy like you was interested in me, and I’d be an idiot not to go after you, because—and I quote— This is your best chance since you’ll be too old to date soon . ”
I covered my mouth to stifle my laughter.
He rolled toward me so he could poke my side with his free hand. “Yuk it up, youngster. I can edge you for hours when you’re least expecting it.”
“Ha ha. I don’t have that much of a hair trigger. I can probably edge you just as long.” Which was a complete lie. “Anyway, how did Charles seem after your conversation? Does he understand he’s not cockblocking you?”
“I think he got it. And I reminded him you were only here temporarily, so he shouldn’t get his hopes up about us staying together.”
Why did my chest ache when he said that? It was only practical, since we were merely friends with bennies, and I’d be back in Texas in less than two weeks. I squeezed his hand. “You’re a good parent.”
Finn blew out a breath. “I’m lucky he’s almost an adult. He doesn’t need a ton of actual parenting, just more guidance or whatever.”
“As long as you’re making an effort, that’s what he’ll remember. He’s lucky to have you.”
He sighed, then nodded. “I agree. I wish I could do more to help him through the grieving process though. I offered to find him a therapist, but he said he didn’t need one. I’m worried he’s hiding his pain.”
I turned so I could put my free hand across his chest. “He probably is. Teenagers aren’t known for sharing their feelings with the adults in their lives, even when it’s something as huge as losing their parents.” I hesitated. “I mentioned this before, but how are you doing with your own grief?”
He gave me a kind of twisted smile as he put his hand over mine on his chest. “I have good days and bad days. I always pictured Noelle and Jin retiring here in Maplewood. Her parents passed away a couple of years ago, but she kept the house she grew up in. It’s a rental property now.
Charlie—Charles, sorry—can decide what to do with it when he’s an adult.
” He took a deep breath. “Did he tell you why he doesn’t want to be called Charlie anymore? ”
I shrugged. “No. I figured it was because he’s a teenager and wants to sound more grown up.”
Finn shook his head. “No. It’s because he wants the name Charlie to be special to when his parents were alive.”
“Ohhh. I get that.”
“I do and I don’t. I know it’s not up to me, but I’m worried he’s kind of.
.. compartmentalizing his life. Making a before and after timeline so he can stuff his emotions into the before part.
But that’s a therapist-type question, and he refuses to see one.
I’ve been making a point to tell him my memories of his parents, keep them present for him.
He does seem to respond positively when I bring them up. ”
I squeezed his hand. “I’m sure you’re helping him. One of the worst things about when my mom passed away was how my dad just sort of... stopped mentioning her. Me and my siblings could only talk about her when he wasn’t around, or else he’d shut us down. So keep doing what you’re doing.”
He turned on his side to face me. “I overheard a little of your conversation with Charles the other night. It sounded like your father... wasn’t great.”
I couldn’t stop a laugh. “That’s an understatement.”
“Will you tell me? You don’t have to.”
“I can, but it’s a long story for the middle of the night.”
He smiled. “Neither of us has to work tomorrow, and Charles probably won’t be home until the afternoon. We can sleep in. Tell me.” His expression was encouraging, like he really wanted to hear about my poor-little-rich-boy childhood.
“Okay, you asked for it. Um, Dirk and I are the youngest of six siblings. Our dad always wanted to be a famous musician himself, but Mom got pregnant with our oldest brother Steve, and Dad had to get a regular job. So he decided if he couldn’t be a rock star, he’d make his kids do it, form a family musical act with him as our manager.
” I rolled my eyes, though I didn’t know if Finn could see me in the dark.
“Hence all of our soap opera-style names. Except for Steve. He was named after our grandfather.”
“And all of you had musical talent?”
I grimaced. “Ding, ding. You win the prize for asking the right question. Steve can’t carry a tune to save his life, and he was more interested in computers than guitars.
But the rest of us were fucking musical prodigies, so guess who got shipped off to live with our grandfather a year or so after Mom died? ”
Finn gasped. “No! Seriously? Your poor brother.”
“Yeah. And once the band started to get noticed, Dad didn’t want us distracted by worrying about Steve, so he told us Steve was jealous of us and he and grandfather hated us.” I shut my eyes. “We believed him, because why wouldn’t we? He was our dad. I never saw my grandfather again.”
“Oh, shit. I’m so sorry.” He let go of my hands to pull me into a hug.
Fuck, when had someone other than Steve or Dirk hugged me?
Okay, Poppy was a big hugger, but that was more greetings and goodbyes.
This was comfort. I slid my arms around Finn and basked in the feeling of his warm skin under my cheek and chest, and his hands rubbing circles on my back.
“What about your brother? Did you ever see him again?”
I nodded against his chest. “Our grandfather died when Dirk and I were sixteen. Dad was livid when he found out his father had left his entire estate to Steve. He told all of us Steve had poisoned Grandfather’s mind against us.
We were all brainwashed to think of Steve as this evil person who hated his family, even though he’d never said or done anything to us siblings directly. ”
Finn’s hands flexed on my back. “Your father’s a fucking asshole.”
“Hah. I haven’t even mentioned how he withheld affection or gave us the silent treatment if we did something he didn’t like.
And he especially hated that all of us were queer.
Anyway, the whole time we were making records and going on tour, Dad kept saying he had savings accounts set up for each of us, and we’d get access to them when we turned eighteen.
Our older siblings didn’t mention it, so Dirk and I never suspected there’d be an issue getting our money. ”
“Oh, boy.”
“Yep. Right after our eighteenth birthday, we sat down with Dad and asked him to go over our accounts. He told us not to worry about the money, and he’d give us larger allowances now that we were adults.
Heath, Hunter, and Mona had all agreed.” I shook my head at the memory.
“Dirk and I wanted to control our own money going forward, but Dad refused. He said the accounts were offshore and only he could access them.”
“He embezzled the money.”
“Exactly. Well, not according to him. And the law says only the money that came in after each of us turned eighteen was embezzled. Don’t get me started. Anyway, Dirk and I were pissed. We started to dissect Dad’s behavior, and for the first time we questioned all the crappy shit he’d told us.”
“About your brother and your grandfather.”
“Right. We went to visit Steve, and he told us how he’d been deliberately iced out of the family by our father.
Dirk and I live near him now, at least when we’re not traveling.
Mona has a good relationship with him too, but Heath and Hunter are weirdly loyal to Dad, even though they know he stole their money. ”
“Your dad’s not in jail?”
I snorted. “As soon as he was served the papers saying we were suing him, he left the country. He’s out there somewhere living off our money, but I’ll be happy as long as we never hear from him again.
” I sighed. “So, if you’re sleeping with me to get at the piles of cash you think I have lying around, I have some disappointing news for you. ”