5. Lizzie
CHAPTER 5
Lizzie
H e opens the door for me and waves me in in front of him. I slip past him and take a deep breath when I pass by, feeling his body brush mine even through our clothes. I suck in a sharp breath as we pass, feeling lightheaded when I breathe in. I can smell him and it’s like the wild outdoors and man all rolled into one. For some reason, my whole body starts to throb and I stop in the doorway, staring up into his eyes, shocked beyond belief.
I don’t want a man. I remember saying that. My body has been basically frozen since I found that asshole in bed with his girlfriend, mistress or whatever the hell you want to call her.
But I want him. I can feel it zinging in my veins, heating my blood up to boiling. He stares down at me and I stop breathing, locked in on him and the way I feel when I’m close to him.
Turned on. I never thought I’d feel this way again but there’s just something about this guy.
“You can go in. I promise you’ll be safe with me.”
I almost find that depressing. Almost. Because you know that I don’t want a guy. Definitely not this guy.
But I’m not feeling safe. I’m feeling a little out of control with him so close to me so I move quickly through the doorway and into the tiny space. It’s a small cabin with just the one room with a pullout and a kitchen that’s so small I’m sure only one person can fit in it at a time. There’s no other door and I wince. No bathroom.
Like he can read my mind, he turns to me as he closes the door and leans against it, lips quirking. “It’s for emergencies so there’s no bathroom. But there’s an outhouse behind the cabin to use so at least you won’t have to go off into the woods and get lost.” He sets down the pup that I forgot he was carrying and I tense as the dog starts sniffing around the room.
I point at it. “What are you going to do with that?”
He grins. “It’s just a puppy. I’ll take it back with me and see if I can find a family for it. Can’t leave the animal all alone out here in the woods. It will die or go feral.”
I nod my head, confused at the reckless, lost look in his eyes.
He turns away so I can’t see his eyes anymore. “That’s what happens when you spend too long out here alone in the woods. Things go feral or they die.”
I nod my head, watching him closely as he shrugs out of his coat. “Is that what happened to you? You’ve been alone out here too long and you’ve gone feral.”
He grunts and looks over his shoulder at me as he hangs the coat up on a little hook by the door. “George said you were smart. Sounds like you’re a little too smart for your own good, Lizzie Montgomery.”
I feel my face pale, feeling that name like a punch to the gut. “God, how I hate that fucking name!”
He faces me, confusion clear on his harsh, craggy features. He’s turned on the little lantern that he must have had ready for emergencies and it’s the first time I can see him fully in that little circle of light he’s carrying.
His face is all harsh lines and deep crags, kind of like the mountains around us. He’s got the darkest blue gaze that looks almost black as he stares at me, the same way I’m staring at him. I just can’t look away.
He nods at my clothes. “You need to get those wet clothes off before you catch pneumonia.”
Flushing, I glare at him. “How do I know you don’t say that to all the lost women you find as some weird kind of pick-up line?”
He throws his head back and his dark hair that’s longer on top and shaved on the sides falls into his eyes like a little boy’s. An ache settles deep in my gut, throbbing in all my private parts in ways that I’ve never felt before, never thought I could feel.
In all the years that I was married, I really thought that I was unable to reach any kind of orgasm because there was something wrong with me. But this man that I don’t even know makes my pussy clench like he’s inside me already, slamming into me and driving me to higher heights than the sky above the mountains. Heights that if I fell from would be earth-shattering and fatal.
Shaking, I watch him settle down and stop laughing, shaking his head. “I haven’t brought any other woman here. I wouldn’t have brought you if the storm wasn’t so bad.”
Glaring at him, I growl, “That doesn’t actually make it better.”
He shrugs his broad shoulders and I follow that movement, the bunching, rounding of his muscles, with a greedy eye.
Seriously? What the hell is wrong with me? I’m not sure but it feels like this is the most dangerous thing I’ve ever done in my life. More dangerous than running into a burning building or jumping out of an airplane and into the abyss of the sky with nothing to catch me but a scrap of fabric.
It’s…something’s wrong.
I jerk my head around and see the puppy panting behind me, his paw on the back of my leg as he noses at my crotch, almost knocking me over, the little bastard.
I scream and jump and the man in front of me leans over, his hands on his big-ass thighs and laughs his ass off at me, until tears are rolling down those craggy cheeks and disappearing into the hollows of his cheekbones.
“That’s not funny!” I cry out and whip around, knocking the dog off of me in the process. He whines and follows me as I back away.
Emile comes to stand at my back and I feel his big, broad chest dwarfing me and cradling me at the same time. I’ve never felt so…safe and at home before and I shudder to a stop, eyes closing as he closes his arms around my upper arms, his nose running along my throat, as he whispers in my ear, “Shhh. It’s just a puppy. He won’t hurt you. All he wants is to love you. That’s all supposedly dumb animals like him are good for. To love and be loved with all the abandon we have in us. Until they’re gone and we still remember that for awhile, we loved them and it just never fades away. It dulls to a deep hurt then a softer pang whenever we think of them.”
I turn to look up at him, shattered by the heartache I see in his dark indigo gaze. “Is that what happened to you? You lost your pup?”
He backs away and I miss that hard chest behind me, protecting me, surrounding me. “Something like that.”
He nods at my clothes. “I’m gonna step back out and let you get undressed. When I come back in, I’ll start a fire and we’ll get you warmed up in no time.”
Nodding my head, I watch him grab his coat again and head out into the night, shivering. The little black and white pup bounds over to the door, whining.
“What’s the matter, little guy? You have to go potty?” I feel like an idiot. I don’t have children but I’m baby-talking to this damn dog like it can understand me. I push his little body out of the way with my foot and open the door, peering around it. The big shadow on the porch pulls away from the darkness and moves towards me.
“Are you done already?” His dark eyebrow quirks upward and his firm lips twitch into a smile when I shake my head. “No. I’m sorry I’m not. But the dog is whining and I think it might need to go out.”
He nods his dark head. “Ah. Well, I’ll just take him then while you get some dry clothes on.”
“I don’t have any.”
“I figured.” He nods towards the house. “There’s a little chest over in the corner that has some spare clothes. They’re all mine, nothing girly, but you’re welcome to find something in there that will get you covered and warm.”
He pulls the door back open and grabs the puppy that’s bouncing around by my feet. “Come on, little man. Let’s get you to the bathroom.”
And he steps away with the dog, disappearing into the darkness. I watch until there’s such an ache in my chest that I can’t stand it and my fingers rub at it absently.
I don’t know what’s going on with that beautiful man, but I know damn well I need to keep myself under lock and key until I can get out of here.
Because one of the two males that just disappeared into the darkness is going to steal my heart and I know I can’t stop it. But I sure as hell hope that whatever happens, I don’t have any regrets. Right now, it feels like this whole trip might end up a regret and that guts me. I’ve dreamt of this so long that it seems wrong to feel that way, but I feel some wayward part of my heart, some part that hasn’t been totally annihilated by my ex, struggling to awaken and wrap itself around the man and the pup and I just can’t afford to make myself that vulnerable. There’s too little of me left. Too little to work with and too little to give away with willy-nilly feelings that I have no business feeling.
This is just a blip in the road of my salvation. I just have to keep going and it will all work out. Keep going and don’t look back to see where they are.
Whatever happens, they belong here and I don’t. I just need to keep that thought in my head and my heart and I’ll be just fine.
Seems like it should be easy but when that knock at the door sounds and I hear his deep, husky, growly voice ask, “You done in there?” That pulse in my clit starts up again. This time with me surrounded by the scent of him, cuddled up in a warm flannel and too-big socks that are warm and toasty and full of images of what he must look like in them.
My eyes widen when he steps into the room, his big body seeming to eat up all the air, leaving me gasping for breath and wanting his big body to pounce.
His deep blue eyes darken and I know he feels it too. This insane punch to the gut and pull like nothing I’ve ever felt before.
He’s stronger than me though. He sets the wet puppy down and grunts when it shakes and wriggles its pudgy little body out, soaking him again and making me turn and squawk as wet drops hit my cold skin.
“Hang on, I’ve got towels,” he says and steps away, leaving me somehow trapped in darkness even though he’s lit another oil lamp and its light has made the room glow with a warmth like I’ve never felt before.
I don’t know why I seem to want a perfect stranger, but that shit needs to stop. I don’t even know the man.
And that’s the way things need to stay. For my sanity and possibly his. I can see the scars on both of us and they’re deep. It’s best if I just shove all those weird feelings down and concentrate on getting out of here.
Even though I press at the ache in my chest when I think of leaving this big, burly guy with the cautious smile and dark blue gaze.
Some aches just mean that there’s still some life there, but it doesn’t mean to risk the damage that ache can cause. No fucking way I’m risking a damn thing. It’s too late for me. It’s always been too late for me.
That’s just the way it’s gotta be.