Chapter 8 Felix
FELIX
They were going to Epicure for their first date!
Felix had been in a panic all day about what he should wear because the last time he’d been there he was dressed like a hobo.
Why had Ryder chosen one of the most exclusive restaurants in New York?
He’d asked him not to do anything over the top.
It was his friend’s restaurant, though, so he probably wouldn’t have to pay, which was no doubt Ryder’s sneaky way of saying he wasn’t being extravagant.
“Will you stop pacing,” said Laura. “You’re making me dizzy.”
“What am I supposed to wear?”
“Trousers and a button up. Nothing too flashy.”
“Don’t I need to wear a suit?”
“Definitely not. Have you asked Ryder what you should wear?”
“He said to just be myself. What the fuck does that mean?”
“Okay, breathe,” she said, standing up. “It means . . . just be yourself.”
“Get fucked,” he said, laughing. “I’m not wearing jeans or trainers to Epicure.”
“Just do what I said. Wear that pale blue shirt. The one that makes your eyes pop.”
“What if I spill something?”
“Like what? Cum?”
“Oh my God, woman. What is wrong with you?”
“Are you saying you don’t want to drain that python?”
“Not on a first date.”
“Well, don’t leave a man like that hanging too long. He has a lot of other options.”
Felix ignored the comment. He knew she meant well and was just looking out for him, but it played on his insecurities.
Why was Ryder Quinn interested in someone like him?
There had to be a catch. Felix had been expecting something simple, away from the prying eyes of the public, but they would be in one of New York’s hotspots.
He would take Laura’s advice about his attire, but now he had to think about what he’d do if Ryder invited him back to his place.
This was technically their second date, so it didn’t break his rule, if he counted the hot chocolate and make-out session as a date.
It was certainly better than most first dates he’d ever had.
His phone pinged. Excited, he almost tripped over getting to it.
Sam: Miss you, babe xxx.
Ugh. That deflated his mood. He really needed to block the number, but something in his head was stopping him.
Not wanting to reply, he deleted the message.
After they’d broken up, Felix had deleted their entire chat history.
Despite what Sam had done, it had still been a wrench to throw away their history of messages, which veered from sweet to downright filthy.
There’d also been some pictures he now regretted sending, but he’d been in love.
Or so he’d thought. Had it been love, or a desperation to not be alone?
Ryder was sending a car for him again, which he’d initially refused.
Felix would have been happy getting the subway, but he’d not really had much of a choice, though it wasn’t Ryder being pushy.
Laura had snatched the phone off him and confirmed that Felix was being a precious princess and would be more than happy to be collected.
She’d then walked away with the phone and spoken to Ryder for five minutes, before bringing it back looking smug with herself.
Neither of them would tell him what was discussed, although Felix didn’t have to be a mind reader to know it was about him.
Once he was dressed, he looked in the bathroom mirror, and begrudgingly admitted Laura was right. He looked good, and he rarely thought that about himself. He gave himself a spritz with his favorite cologne, which he saved for special occasions because it cost a fortune.
“Hubba, hubba,” said Laura, when he walked out.
Felix laughed, relaxing a little.
“Just enjoy yourself, but have nothing spicy.”
“Why not?”
“It’ll hurt enough tomorrow. You don’t want to antagonize it.”
“Oh my God! Do you ever stop?”
Laura howled with laughter, and Felix couldn’t help but laugh alongside her.
He wasn’t sure what he’d do if Ryder invited him back to his place.
He would just decide in the moment and not drink any alcohol.
That would do the trick. At least then he would use his brain and not his hormones for decision making.
The door buzzed and Laura started jumping around like an excited puppy.
Felix gave her a hug, grabbed his coat, and headed downstairs.
Walking out the door of his apartment building, he was shocked to see Ryder standing by the car door, waiting for him.
He was wearing something similar to Felix—trousers and a button up—although he had the top few buttons open, showing his pectoral fold.
Fuck! How was that even hotter than him not wearing a shirt at all?
Felix tried to act all nonchalant as he walked down the steps of the building, but he missed one step and stumbled, falling forward. He panicked, realizing he was going to go down and couldn’t do anything to stop it. All he could do was try to turn his body so he didn’t hit the deck face first.
The only thing he hit was a mountain of solid muscle, as he fell into Ryder’s gigantic arms .
. . Swoon. It was like a fairy tale and a nightmare combined.
Part of him wanted to be swept up in a passionate kiss, and the other part wanted to die and see no one again who had witnessed such an embarrassing moment.
“Good to know you’re already falling for me,” said Ryder.
“Does that line ever work on anyone?” he laughed awkwardly.
“No idea. I’ve never used it on anyone else before.”
The comment hung in the air between them, neither of them saying anything, but the heat between them was unmistakable. Okay, he now knew if Ryder asked him to go back to his place, he’d be going. In fact, could they go now and skip dinner?
Felix was aware he was still being held in Ryder’s arms like a dying swan, so he smiled and wriggled, prompting Ryder to put him down.
Ryder leaned down to give him a brief kiss, which didn’t last longer than a couple of seconds, but was enough to make Felix’s knees wobble, then he took his hand and smiled at him before escorting him to the car.
Felix got inside, and Ryder closed the door behind him before getting in the other side, and once they were buckled up, the driver pulled out.
“How’s your week been?” asked Ryder.
“It’s only been three days since I last saw you.”
“Okay, cheeky. How have the last three days been?”
“Are you trying to make small talk?” Felix smiled.
Ryder stroked his finger across Felix’s hand, making the hairs on his entire body stand on end.
“What would you rather I do?”
“Er . . .”
Ryder chuckled. “Can I have another kiss, Felix?”
Felix wasted no time unbuckling his seatbelt and sliding across to Ryder, who took his face in those giant hands.
As soon as their lips connected Felix was instantly hard.
He wanted to climb into Ryder’s lap and stay there.
So much for having self-control. But this was Ryder Quinn, the hottest guy on the planet as far as Felix was concerned.
Ryder licked against Felix’s lips, seeking permission, and Felix opened for him and melted into the kiss.
Nobody could kiss like Ryder Quinn. How could someone be so perfect at everything?
And why was he interested in someone like Felix?
He could have anyone he wanted, of any gender.
Felix had to stop thinking like that. He was here now and was going to enjoy it.
The car pulled to a stop and they broke the kiss. Looking outside the tinted windows, Felix could see they’d arrived at Epicure. How long had they been kissing? He could see how hard Ryder was; it was impossible not to. It was halfway down his thigh.
“I’m going to need a minute before we get out. I don’t want to cause an incident.”
Felix chuckled. Knowing he’d turned Ryder on that much was such an ego boost. The thought was causing him to stay hard, although he wouldn’t have the same problem as Ryder.
After a couple of minutes of chatter, sitting apart from each other, Ryder got out of the car and ran round to open Felix’s door for him.
It looked for a second like Ryder wanted to hold his hand, but pulled back at the last minute.
What was that about? They walked into the restaurant, Ryder slightly ahead.
After the hostess greeted Ryder and smiled at Felix, she escorted them into the main restaurant, but instead of seating them with the other diners, they were taken to a private room set up just for the two of them.
Felix wasn’t sure what to make of it. Was Ryder embarrassed to be seen with him?
Given what they’d done on the car ride over, he was confused, but didn’t want to make things awkward.
The room was beautiful and would be romantic for an established couple to do something special, but this wasn’t a first date setting.
It felt too intimate and intense, and Felix believed there was an ulterior motive.
“Are you okay, Felix?”
“Sorry?”
“I said, are you okay? You look deep in thought. Do you not like it here?”
“No, it’s lovely. Thank you.”
“What aren’t you telling me?”
“Nothing. I’m overwhelmed, is all. I never thought I’d come to a place like this.”
That wasn’t a lie. He was overwhelmed, and this was a place he could never afford.
It was just that he now felt like a dirty little secret.
He should have known he wouldn’t be good enough.
It had been difficult not to get swept up in the fantasy of it all—the handsome prince with the charming smile and gigantic dick sweeping him off his feet.
He should have just given Ryder the camera back and walked away.
Now he was in an impossible situation. He wanted nothing more than to run, but he felt frozen in place.
The silence between them was becoming uncomfortable.
Felix looked at the menu, and his jaw almost hit the floor when he saw the prices—small starters were a minimum of a hundred bucks.
How was that justifiable? He knew Mason’s food would be amazing, but it was another sign that Felix didn’t belong in this world.
He could see why Ryder had locked him away in this room.
“Evening, sir,” said Mason, walking in wearing his chef whites. “And Ryder.”
Ryder laughed, and Felix couldn’t help but smile. Mason was known for being grumpy, but he’d been all smiles and charm on the occasions Felix had met him before.
“I hope you like the room, Felix. I suggested it for Ryder. He gets a lot of attention from the other guests when he’s out there, and you don’t need to be interrupted every five minutes by one of his stalkers.”
Felix breathed a sigh of relief and felt his eyes well up.
“Felix, what’s wrong?” asked Ryder, rushing round to his side of the table, crouching down and taking his hand.
“Nothing, I’m fine.”
“Please tell me. You haven’t been yourself since we got here. We can go somewhere else? It’s too pretentious here anyway.”
Mason chuckled. “I’ll be back in five,” he said, walking out.
“Talk to me, Felix. I want tonight to be special.”
“I’m just being silly. You can ignore me.”
“Never. What is it?”
This was so embarrassing, but Ryder was looking at him with such an earnest expression on his face.
“I thought we were in here because you didn’t want to be seen with me in public.”
He had to look away from Ryder. He was tearing up, and his stupid insecurities had ruined their evening. Why was he always like this? Was it any wonder Sam had cheated on him? He was too needy for any guy to want anything serious with him.
“Felix, look at me . . . please.”
There was a plea in his voice, forcing him to turn. Those beautiful brown eyes were full of compassion and made him feel even worse. Ryder used his thumbs to wipe away his tears, and this caring side of him made Felix unleash even more. Ryder leaned forward and kissed him gently on the lips.
“I’m honored to be here with you tonight, Felix.
I would happily sit out there with you on my arm.
Hell, you could sit on my lap if you wanted.
It’s just that I get a lot of attention, which Mason was right about, and I wanted to have time for us to get to know each other better, away from all that attention.
That’s my life, for better or worse, but I never wanted to upset you. ”
“I’m sorry. I assumed the worst. I’ve not had the best luck with relationships.” He gasped. “Not that I think that’s what this is.”
“And why not?” asked Ryder, smiling.
“Because you’re Ryder Quinn. You don’t do relationships.”
“Don’t believe everything you read on the internet.”
“Yeah, but even if you did, you’re you, and I’m me.”
“I think we’re going to have to work on your confidence, if you’ll let me.”
Felix nodded with a smile. How was this sweet giant of a man the same as the one on social media posting thirst traps all day?
“Did you want to get a table in the main restaurant, or go somewhere else?”
“Let’s stay here.”
“You sure?”
“Yes. I like the idea of getting to know each other better. You’re not like you are online. I want to get to know the real Ryder Quinn.”
He smiled, before stealing a quick kiss. He stood up and sat back on the other side of the table. Felix felt foolish for what he’d shared tonight, but Ryder had been so kind and understanding he didn’t feel embarrassed anymore. He was determined to enjoy the evening and just see what happened.